# Men, would you be offended if... (masturbation thread)

**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-would-you-be-offended-if-masturbation-thread/179506
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [June 4, 2003, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-would-you-be-offended-if-masturbation-thread/179506 "2003-06-04T03:42:08Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1

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### Author: ![Koffing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/898d66/32.png) [@Koffing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koffing)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2003, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-would-you-be-offended-if-masturbation-thread/179506/1 "2003-06-04T03:42:08Z")

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[This](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=188366) OP, but with the sex flipped around.

Men, how would you feel if a woman told you that you are often the subject of her masturbation fantasies?

A woman, you have never been romantically involved with, perhaps a coworker, or a friend, admits to you that in her fantasies, you are often the subject of her lust. Would this offend you, flatter you, or would you just not care?

I had a friend of mine tell me this, and I thought it was pretty damned cool, to the point of being flattering, in fact.

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### Author: ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2003, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-would-you-be-offended-if-masturbation-thread/179506/2 "2003-06-04T03:44:55Z")

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I’d be freaked out but not offended.

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### Author: ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2003, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-would-you-be-offended-if-masturbation-thread/179506/3 "2003-06-04T03:52:40Z")

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Depends how you word it.

" I had a dream about you last night" is OK as long as you leave out the details.

“I joined the battery of the month club because of you” is psycho scary.

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### Author: ![tastycorn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bcef8e/32.png) [@tastycorn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tastycorn)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2003, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-would-you-be-offended-if-masturbation-thread/179506/4 "2003-06-04T04:00:52Z")

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I had this implied once, and it freaked me the hell out.

More scared than offended, but still offended.

Shudder…

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### Author: ![bradministrator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a698b9/32.png) [@bradministrator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bradministrator)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2003, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-would-you-be-offended-if-masturbation-thread/179506/5 "2003-06-04T04:01:41Z")

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Depends on what she looks like.

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### Author: ![Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/46a35a/32.png) [@Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_T-Bonham.net)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2003, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-would-you-be-offended-if-masturbation-thread/179506/6 "2003-06-04T05:03:13Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by bradministrator \*  
> \*\*Depends on what she looks like. \*\*

What if it was a he rather than a she?

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### Author: ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2003, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-would-you-be-offended-if-masturbation-thread/179506/7 "2003-06-04T05:08:01Z")

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I’d be flattered. Very, very flattered. God knows there are women with whom I’m friends that have been, and will be, objects of my fantasy. Doesn’t make me a stalker.

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### Author: ![Sqube](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aca169/32.png) [@Sqube](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sqube)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2003, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-would-you-be-offended-if-masturbation-thread/179506/8 "2003-06-04T05:08:27Z")

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I’d find it vaguely complimentary, but I don’t think it would be any more than that unless I was interested in her.

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### Author: ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2003, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-would-you-be-offended-if-masturbation-thread/179506/9 "2003-06-04T05:14:49Z")

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I’d say unambigiously good. How good would be determined by who delivered the news: Rachael Bella, best news ever; Rosanne Bar, a meaningful complement that I would be uninclined to explore.

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### Author: ![TBG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c89c15/32.png) [@TBG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TBG)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2003, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-would-you-be-offended-if-masturbation-thread/179506/10 "2003-06-04T05:54:21Z")

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Flattered at least, maybe better if it was someone I was attracted to.

I find it funny how different the responses seem to be between the men’s and women’s threads. Yes, we are different creatures.

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### Author: ![Slacker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@Slacker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slacker)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2003, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-would-you-be-offended-if-masturbation-thread/179506/11 "2003-06-04T06:11:31Z")

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Simple:

Flattered that it happened.

Freaked that she told me.

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### Author: ![iamthewalrus\_3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/258eb7/32.png) [@iamthewalrus\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamthewalrus_3)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2003, 6:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-would-you-be-offended-if-masturbation-thread/179506/12 "2003-06-04T06:29:13Z")

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I would be flattered, but a little unnerved. If she told me, it either means that she is incredibly honest, or she’s hot for me. To answer **t-bonham** ’s question: I’d be mostly just weirded out if a guy friend of mine told me that. But still a little flattered.

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### Author: ![spiro51](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/958977/32.png) [@spiro51](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spiro51)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2003, 6:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-would-you-be-offended-if-masturbation-thread/179506/13 "2003-06-04T06:34:56Z")

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Yeah, other than my wife constantly telling me how cute I am (as the beneficiary of my estate, is biased), I look back most fondly on the times I inadvertantly aroused gay men as my highest praise. If one of them later told me that I’d wandered into a fantasy, I’d be happy and want to know what I got up to in it.

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### Author: ![squeegee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/squeegee/32/14537_2.png) [@squeegee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/squeegee)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2003, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-would-you-be-offended-if-masturbation-thread/179506/14 "2003-06-04T06:36:59Z")

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A friend or my housekeeper or a girl in the healthclub out of the blue tells me, “I like to think about you when I play with myself”. Correct?

To me, that means:

a) I’m telling you this because I want sex with you (and couldn’t think of a tacky way to ask).

b) I’m telling you this because I don’t want sex with you, but I really like sharing waaay too much information with casual acquaintances.

Creepy, either way.

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### Author: ![spanna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a6a055/32.png) [@spanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spanna)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2003, 7:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-would-you-be-offended-if-masturbation-thread/179506/15 "2003-06-04T07:24:43Z")

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As long as the fantasy had me very well endowed and her/his best ever I could live with it.

😃

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### Author: ![Fern\_Forest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/71c47a/32.png) [@Fern\_Forest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fern_Forest)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2003, 7:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-would-you-be-offended-if-masturbation-thread/179506/16 "2003-06-04T07:29:41Z")

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Pretty remarkable difference in the two threads. I certainly would think it was cool. Kind of a “Way to go fantasy me” thing. Personally the whole thing seems to me to be one of those games girls who haven’t mastered the art of relationships yet like to play.

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### Author: ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2003, 7:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-would-you-be-offended-if-masturbation-thread/179506/17 "2003-06-04T07:35:23Z")

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Seeing as I am engaged to a woman with enough insecurity about herself, anyone who knew me more than casually would know not to say that sort of thing. As such, I’d be a combination of insulted and offended that such a person would say that.

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### Author: ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2003, 8:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-would-you-be-offended-if-masturbation-thread/179506/18 "2003-06-04T08:04:25Z")

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I’d be amazingly flattered, no matter who it was. I might freak out depending on how I was told and by whom, but in general I can’t see anything bad with it.

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### Author: ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2003, 9:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-would-you-be-offended-if-masturbation-thread/179506/19 "2003-06-04T09:45:31Z")

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I’d be flattered, but unless we were already pretty physically intimate with each other I’d keep it to myself as this kind of revelation out of the blue would set off some major psycho-alarm bells.

If we’re dating, then it’s cool and I’m happy to hear it.

If we’re not, then there ain’t no way it’s ever going to happen.

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### Author: ![3trew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/13edae/32.png) [@3trew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/3trew)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2003, 10:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-would-you-be-offended-if-masturbation-thread/179506/20 "2003-06-04T10:04:20Z")

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First thought is to check for bunny boiling psycho potential.

Absent that, check for deeper levels of meaning.

Absent those, check for bunny boiling psycho potential missed on the first sweep.

Absent that, flattered and surprised with a large element of “Yeah, that’s right, I’m the man!” added to my personality for the rest of the day.

Just for the record, this was the same process I went through the first time I caught a guy quite obviously checking out my ass.

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