# Men, would you be offended if... (masturbation thread)
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-would-you-be-offended-if-masturbation-thread/179506
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [June 4, 2003, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-would-you-be-offended-if-masturbation-thread/179506 "2003-06-04T03:42:08Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 2
### Author:  [@Bibliovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bibliovore)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2003, 10:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-would-you-be-offended-if-masturbation-thread/179506/21 "2003-06-04T10:34:18Z")
If I found the lady in question attractive, then I’d be very, very flattered, and probably quite aroused, too. (not to mention confused and embarassed).
Think about it - that kind of sexual honesty probably means that she knows what she wants in bed, and isn’t afraid to ask - both of which are big turn-ons. By sharing such an intimate fantasy, she’s basically telling you she really wants you, and that kind of undiluted lust just bypasses all higher cognitive functions and goes straight for the pink bits…
So i guess my reaction would be:
"Huh? ME?!! Really?!! Wow, so what’s the actual fantasy? Need help making it real?
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### Author:  [@amanset](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amanset)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2003, 10:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-would-you-be-offended-if-masturbation-thread/179506/22 "2003-06-04T10:35:36Z")
Soemone masturbating whilst thinking of me?
I’d be too amazed to be flattered.
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### Author:  [@Neidhart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neidhart)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2003, 11:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-would-you-be-offended-if-masturbation-thread/179506/23 "2003-06-04T11:45:16Z")
That would, hands down, be the best thing that’s ever happened to me; I’d be floating on a cloud for the next month. 😃
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### Author:  [@isthatsowrong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/isthatsowrong)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2003, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-would-you-be-offended-if-masturbation-thread/179506/24 "2003-06-04T13:15:15Z")
This happened to me at work a few years ago. She said, “I had a dream about you last night. It was very exciting.” I asked, “Did you do anything about it?” (I figured I had nothing to lose.) She said, “Yeah.”
She wasn’t very attractive, but she was insanely horny for me. It was palpable. I was single, so I took her up on it. The first time, we kissed a lot and I touched her and gave her head. She stopped me when I tried to enter her, saying “I only do that with people I know really well.” She got an orgasm, I got nothing. No problem, she’ll owe me one.
The second time we were together, there was more kissing but she was having her period. I asked for a blowjob and got the absolute worst blowjob of my life (and I’ve been puked on, so I have had bad blowjobs). She had my penis in her mouth, but there was no contact with her lips or tongue. She just held her mouth open over my penis and gave me a handjob. I stopped her and sent her home.
She ruined a perfectly good Penthouse Forum letter. I can’t forgive her for that.
She had some sort of a breakdown a little while later at work. She left for a while but she came back. I see her everyday and catch her walking by my office sneaking glances. If I knew she was psycho I’d have left her alone. Overall, it was a shitty fantasy-come-true.
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### Author:  [@merge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/merge)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2003, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-would-you-be-offended-if-masturbation-thread/179506/25 "2003-06-04T13:23:05Z")
It is flattering…
It is kind of like someone telling you that you are sexy in a dirty sort of way…
_but the better question…_
**Men, would you be offended if a MAN told you that you are often the subject of his masturbation fantasies?..**
(as long as your are not gay or bi… of course)
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### Author:  [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2003, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-would-you-be-offended-if-masturbation-thread/179506/26 "2003-06-04T13:24:08Z")
Offended? No. Perplexed as to why she felt the need to share the info with me? Yes. My response: “Thanks. I hope everything turned out OK.”
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### Author:  [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2003, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-would-you-be-offended-if-masturbation-thread/179506/27 "2003-06-04T13:29:21Z")
Well first I would ask if I was the starr of one of many supporting players, then how pleased I would be would depend on the size of my role in her fantasy life.
Now if she were after me, a married man, I might be a little freaked out.
But it would put a little extra strut in my walk.
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### Author:  [@El\_Elvis\_Rojo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Elvis_Rojo)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2003, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-would-you-be-offended-if-masturbation-thread/179506/28 "2003-06-04T13:46:30Z")
I’ve had it happen before, and it’s rather complimentary, in my opinion. In my situation, we’d been talking for a while, more just kinda friendly talking, but there was always a sexual tone to it all. She’s made more than one comment, and I really find it a big self-esteme booster, and it doesn’t bother me at all.
If my ex-girlfriend told me, I’d be absolutely ellated!
If any number of my female friends told me, I’d be really flattered and happy.
If some random girl I never met told me, I’d be a little weary, but there’d still be a level of “Hey, whadda ya know? I’m sexy!”
Again, though, I guess a lot has to do with how it’s worded and how sexually oriented your conversation(s) with the person are.
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### Author:  [@Stonebow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stonebow)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2003, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-would-you-be-offended-if-masturbation-thread/179506/29 "2003-06-04T13:54:02Z")
I’d be totally freaked out and beg her not to tell my wife, for her safety, and mine.
But no, I’d not be offended.
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### Author:  [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2003, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-would-you-be-offended-if-masturbation-thread/179506/30 "2003-06-04T15:18:34Z")
If I was still single I’d be flattered, followed shortly thereafter by quite naked.
I did used to get those anonymous phone calls at night and yeah, it was pretty flattering/intriguing.
But since I’m happily married I’m pretty sure nothing like that is ever going to happen to me again.
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### Author:  [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2003, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-would-you-be-offended-if-masturbation-thread/179506/31 "2003-06-04T15:38:08Z")
I would feel flattered, but I would have serious questions as why he/she decided to tell me. I would straight out ask
‘Thanks for telling me, why did you decide you had to tell me this?’
Maybe they have some hang-up about it being wrong to fantasize about someone they know. Maybe it’s a tacky come one, maybe they wanted to shock me. I would want to find out more.
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### Author:  [@sickboy51](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sickboy51)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2003, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-would-you-be-offended-if-masturbation-thread/179506/32 "2003-06-04T16:39:51Z")
At first I would be flattered, but after thinking of it for a while I would be freaked out… you see, if a woman choses to think about ME while masturbating, there´s a big chance that something is wrong in her mind. Probably she is nuts or something… scary.
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### Author:  [@Gorgon\_Heap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorgon_Heap)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2003, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-would-you-be-offended-if-masturbation-thread/179506/33 "2003-06-04T16:40:07Z")
> [@](#):
>
> Absent that, flattered and surprised with a large element of “Yeah, that’s right, I’m the man!” added to my personality for the rest of the day.
>
> Just for the record, this was the same process I went through the first time I caught a guy quite obviously checking out my ass.
I think I’m with **2trew** on this one.
And also for the record, I have been both asked to dance at clubs and told I was attractive by gay guys and was flattered each time.
I think if I was told this my first question would be, “Was I any good?”
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### Author:  [@Lodrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lodrain)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2003, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-would-you-be-offended-if-masturbation-thread/179506/34 "2003-06-04T17:45:51Z")
I’d reciprocate. (S)he’s fantasizing about me, so I get to fantasize about h(im/er).
[booming voice]
BATTLE OF THE SEX FANTASIES!!!
[/booming voice]
😃
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### Author:  [@UnwrittenNocturne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UnwrittenNocturne)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2003, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-would-you-be-offended-if-masturbation-thread/179506/35 "2003-06-04T17:56:56Z")
Although a hetero guy, if anyone at all, woman or man, has fantasies about me I am flattered, whether I reciprocate or not.
Fantasies are, after all, only natural.
As to being told about it, I do not see why that would bother me.
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### Author:  [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2003, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-would-you-be-offended-if-masturbation-thread/179506/36 "2003-06-04T18:01:28Z")
_hands in pockets…glittery eyes…_
“I was just thinking the same thing…”
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### Author:  [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2003, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-would-you-be-offended-if-masturbation-thread/179506/37 "2003-06-04T18:08:06Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Neidhart \*
> That would, **hands down** , be the best thing that’s ever happened to me; I’d be floating on a cloud for the next month. 😃
That is damn funny!
* * *
Fagjunk Theology: Not just for sodomite propagandists anymore.
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### Author:  [@CrazyMonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyMonkey)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2003, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-would-you-be-offended-if-masturbation-thread/179506/38 "2003-06-04T18:23:02Z")
The real question is, after she asked, would _she_ be offended when I ran around the room high-fiving everyone. 😃
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### Author:  [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2003, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-would-you-be-offended-if-masturbation-thread/179506/39 "2003-06-04T18:23:20Z")
I assume that the OP means what would I think _after_ I attempt to hide my insta-boner and stare lecherously up and down the girl’s body whilst drooling for a solid thirty seconds.
What was the question again?
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### Author:  [@Berkut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Berkut)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2003, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-would-you-be-offended-if-masturbation-thread/179506/40 "2003-06-04T18:23:29Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Koffing \*
> **A woman, you have never been romantically involved with, perhaps a coworker, or a friend, admits to you that in her fantasies, you are often the subject of her lust. Would this offend you, flatter you, or would you just not care?**
I had this happen to me just last night. I was talking to a female friend on the phone, and the subject turned to sex (as it sometimes does). She mentioned that she had, uh, ‘pleasured’ herself that afternoon. I inquired as to who or what she thought about when she did it, and she said it was me! Must be my amazingly sexy phone voice. 😉
I was very flattered. She is a hottie, after all.
(I hope she doesn’t read the boards, I would be terribly embarassed)
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