# Men, would you be offended if... (masturbation thread)
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-would-you-be-offended-if-masturbation-thread/179506
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [June 4, 2003, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-would-you-be-offended-if-masturbation-thread/179506 "2003-06-04T03:42:08Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 3
### Author:  [@X\_Slayer\_ALE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/X_Slayer_ALE)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2003, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-would-you-be-offended-if-masturbation-thread/179506/41 "2003-06-04T18:26:41Z")
This is rather simple
If the person who is fantasizing about me is attractive to me, I would feel very flattered.
If that person is not attractive to me, I would still be flattered but would make sure she stays away and knows this is not going any farther.
If that person is a guy, I would be very disgusted and if he continues I would have to hunt him down and beat the crap outta him.
If it turns out to be 2 very attractive females and they are both getting each other off becaus of me than … wait… now I’m fantasizing… scuz me.
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### Author:  [@pestie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pestie)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2003, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-would-you-be-offended-if-masturbation-thread/179506/42 "2003-06-04T20:18:12Z")
Whether it was a male or female who told me that, and regardless of whether I found them attractive or not, I’d be extremely flattered. Hey, anyone who thinks I’m that sexy can’t be _all_ bad, right?
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### Author:  [@5-HT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/5-HT)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2003, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-would-you-be-offended-if-masturbation-thread/179506/43 "2003-06-04T20:18:24Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Slacker \*
> \*\*Simple:
>
> Flattered that it happened.
>
> Freaked that she told me. \*\*
I agree with this sentiment.
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### Author:  [@Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_T-Bonham.net)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2003, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-would-you-be-offended-if-masturbation-thread/179506/44 "2003-06-04T20:47:45Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by X~Slayer(ALE) \*
> \*\* If that person is a guy, I would be very disgusted and if he continues
Just how would you know if he continues to masturbate?
> [@](#):
>
> I would have to hunt him down and beat the crap outta him.
> \*\*
Wow! Such a violent, threatening reaction to someone saying they think you’re sexy.
Methinks the boy doth protest too much!
P.S. Counseling is available to deal with the anger & fear you’ve expressed here, if you want.
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### Author:  [@Blalron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blalron)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2003, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-would-you-be-offended-if-masturbation-thread/179506/45 "2003-06-04T22:05:19Z")
> [@](#):
>
> A woman, you have never been romantically involved with, perhaps a coworker, or a friend, admits to you that in her fantasies, you are often the subject of her lust. Would this offend you, flatter you, or would you just not care?
I’d be flattered.
And if she was attractive to me at all, I’d let her know that she can do more than just fantasize about me. 🆒
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### Author:  [@Neidhart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neidhart)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2003, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-would-you-be-offended-if-masturbation-thread/179506/46 "2003-06-04T22:57:49Z")
originally posted by **gatopescado**
> [@](#):
>
> That is damn funny!
I only realized the double meaning after I hit submit if you can believe that. 🙂
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### Author:  [@lightingtool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lightingtool)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2003, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-would-you-be-offended-if-masturbation-thread/179506/47 "2003-06-04T23:02:11Z")
I’m a hetero guy and I’ve had gay guys tell me that (theatre is a strange business). Didn’t have much of a problem with it. In fact, I was flattered. I just told them that I wasn’t going to return the favor.
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### Author:  [@Urban\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urban_Ranger)
#### Post date: [June 5, 2003, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-would-you-be-offended-if-masturbation-thread/179506/48 "2003-06-05T16:19:50Z")
If it is She who tells me this, I’d be very flattered, very excited, and gets very naughty with Her ::wink, wink, nudge, nudge::
If it is not Her, but a female friend, I’d feel flattered.
If it’s a random hottie off the street, I’d feel a bit creepy
If’s it’s a man, I’d say, “Your tits aren’t big enough and you’ve got a knob. Now stay away from me or my SO will teach you a lesson.”
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### Author:  [@cuauhtemoc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cuauhtemoc)
#### Post date: [June 5, 2003, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-would-you-be-offended-if-masturbation-thread/179506/49 "2003-06-05T17:30:33Z")
To anyone who reads this post I hereby grant permission in perpetuity and throughout the universe to think about me while they beat off.
You also get to tell me about it at least once. You can continue talking about it until I tell you to stop, but up to that point you may go into as much detail as you wish and I’ll consider myself complimented.
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### Author:  [@rhinostylee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rhinostylee)
#### Post date: [June 5, 2003, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-would-you-be-offended-if-masturbation-thread/179506/50 "2003-06-05T17:48:03Z")
I want as many women as possible to think of me while they masturbate! It makes me feel like the man and stuff.
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### Author:  [@Sweet\_Daddy\_Freak\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sweet_Daddy_Freak_Out)
#### Post date: [June 5, 2003, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-would-you-be-offended-if-masturbation-thread/179506/51 "2003-06-05T19:01:58Z")
I have been told this before, I was just like “oh, cool…uh…was I good?” LOL.
I was indifferent. I had a girlfriend so it didn’t matter to me. I have never cheated, even in the worst relationships with the easiest opportunity.
It was flattering, but more funny. I don’t think of myself as some sexy hunk of man…so…LOL
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### Author:  [@Pablito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pablito)
#### Post date: [June 5, 2003, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-would-you-be-offended-if-masturbation-thread/179506/52 "2003-06-05T19:12:31Z")
Would I be offended!!! Holy fucking shit! I’d be almost willing to pay a woman to tell me that, except that would pretty much negate the whole value of it. Except . . . wait a minute. On second thought, I think I AM willing to pay a woman to tell me this. I’m just not sure how much it would be worth, a few bucks, certainly. But what a great thing to hear! Whether she’s attractive or not, it would be an ego-booster. If she were available and attractive, I would immediately ask her out and make sure that I had some condoms with me on the date. Wouldn’t that be pretty close to guaranteed sex? I’m sure I would masturbate to that information that very evening, just thinking about her masturbating and eagerly anticipating an exciting date.
It is funny how different these two threads are. In the other thread, I said that a guy who tells a girl this has no boundaries (and is probably a bit creepy). And while a girl who tells a guy this also has no boundaries, the response is likely to be quite different.
And, by the way, **isthatsowrong** ,
> [@](#):
>
> She ruined a perfectly good Penthouse Forum letter. I can’t forgive her for that.
That’s the funniest thing I’ve read in a while. Someone will be adopting that for a signature. Or we could start a new thread: describe a situation for which the above quote is the response.
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### Author:  [@kenibbling\_pin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenibbling_pin)
#### Post date: [June 5, 2003, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-would-you-be-offended-if-masturbation-thread/179506/53 "2003-06-05T19:24:35Z")
from T Bonham:
What if it was a he rather than a she?
* * *
Not a problem so long as he is not in a bubble bath with candles with Ricky Martin playing in the background;)
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### Author:  [@Toaster52](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Toaster52)
#### Post date: [June 5, 2003, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-would-you-be-offended-if-masturbation-thread/179506/54 "2003-06-05T20:57:13Z")
Hmmmmm…might depend if she were rubbing up against me when she said that…heh…
Very circumstantial, depending on if it was during a friendly get-together, during a therapy session, a revival meeting (where she was declaring her sins, etc), at work, if my fiance were present, if my fiance were included in the fantasy…
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### Author:  [@Emperor\_Penguin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emperor_Penguin)
#### Post date: [June 5, 2003, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-would-you-be-offended-if-masturbation-thread/179506/55 "2003-06-05T23:26:16Z")
Well for me, if it was a woman, I would be flattered, though things wouldn’t go anywhere from there. Heck, I’d be more than flattered, I would strut. I’m not afraid to admit it.
Hey, all of a sudden, I’m attractive!!
Of course, if it were someone who I didn’t really know all that well, that would be a bit strange at first.
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by X~Slayer(ALE) \*
> \*\* If that person is a guy, I would be very disgusted and if he continues I would have to hunt him down and beat the crap outta him.
> \*\*
Please tell me that this was a lame attempt at a very poor joke. Really now, that is just in poor taste.
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### Author:  [@Purd\_Werfect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Purd_Werfect)
#### Post date: [June 6, 2003, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-would-you-be-offended-if-masturbation-thread/179506/56 "2003-06-06T00:04:33Z")
It sure freaked my Grandpa out when I told him. Never again.
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### Author:  [@John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Carter_of_Mars)
#### Post date: [June 6, 2003, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-would-you-be-offended-if-masturbation-thread/179506/57 "2003-06-06T00:32:19Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Purd Werfect \*
> \*\*It sure freaked my Grandpa out when I told him. Never again. \*\*
Holy SHIT! You didn’t! I don’t think anyone would object if you were to expand on this scene a little…
Now, to the OP: My initial reaction would be flattered, but…If this were a co-worker, someone I had to interact with every day on the job, the relationship would be changed forever more. If I wasn’t in a position to follow up, or didn’t like her and didn’t want to follow up, it would feel downright icky after the first surprise wore off.
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### Author:  [@Mudshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mudshark)
#### Post date: [June 6, 2003, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-would-you-be-offended-if-masturbation-thread/179506/58 "2003-06-06T03:18:07Z")
I wouldn’t care at all.
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### Author:  [@BlackKnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlackKnight)
#### Post date: [June 6, 2003, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-would-you-be-offended-if-masturbation-thread/179506/59 "2003-06-06T04:27:46Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by cuauhtemoc \*
> **To anyone who reads this post I hereby grant permission in perpetuity and throughout the universe to think about me while they beat off.**
Anyone want to take cuauhtemoc up on his kind offer?
I would, but I have company over.
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### Author:  [@Emperor\_Penguin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emperor_Penguin)
#### Post date: [June 6, 2003, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-would-you-be-offended-if-masturbation-thread/179506/60 "2003-06-06T04:34:23Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by BlackKnight \*
> \*\*Anyone want to take cuauhtemoc up on his kind offer?
> \*\*
Sure! **cuauhtemoc** , you look like Brad Pitt right? Cause that’s the image that I’m going to work with…
[sub]Did I really just write that? I did? Well I’m certainly not going to post that. You mean I did that too? Oh… well, I guess my humiliation is complete then. I’ll just go now. [/sub]
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