Of course get it chopped off! I spent lots of time doing fun and interesting things with my life today, and only about 15 seconds of that involved my penis.
this deserves all-caps:
NOTHING CAN BE WORSE THAN DEATH.
History of penis amputation is disqualifying for all (AFAIK) US armed services. So there goes my career plan. Plus, if I got the big casino, I’d just as soon take the quick route to leave – I wouldn’t hesitate to amputate my brain-stem.
I have never seen this word before. Please tell me that it rhymes with “weenies” because if so whole realms of limerick fun have just opened up. . . 
That’s the Latinate plural of penis. In English, there are only two acceptable plurals for penis: penises and penes. And, yes, it rhymes with “weenies.”
I move we change the official word to “Peenies.” 
In fact, I asked my husband this question earlier today. He said that he and his penis are inseparable buddies, and if he dies from cancer of the penis, at least his buddy will be with him to the end.
That’s pretty much what I was expecting him to say.
Reads OP and faints (doctor takes advantage of the situation).
Well a lot depends on the girl involved, actually…
Obviously.
I quite envy this simple view of life. Nothing is worse than death, not even being tortured or watching your children be killed in front of you.
Well, that’s simply not true. My son died when he was six. If I could change that with a choice – my own death or his – I’d choose his life in a New York minute. And it wouldn’t be an unselfish choice, either. Nor is it unique. I can’t believe I’m even the only person on the board, much less in the world, who’d rather die than see his child die.
I disagree about the torture as well. If you’ve watched anyone slowly die of cancer (which I have, several times), you might understand that death is sometimes a mercy.
I choose to die fully encocked and with a skinful of morphine.
We often disagree, Dio, so please do not take the next paragraph as a personal attack; I am honestly curious and not trying to do a gotcha.
You’re a father with young children (a twelve-year-old daughter, no, if I recall aright). Isn’t that rather selfish of you? Do not your children deserve a living father if that is possible?
Irrational as it may be, I might be able to deal with a penis amputation, but not a testicle amputation. I might choose death over that.
Yeah, life-circumstance would make a difference in the decision, I suppose by the time I’m in my 80s I’d choose to just mainline morphine until I walk into the light still fully equipped. But were it to happen in current times I suppose I would, if medically advisable, have a “farewell tour”, so to speak, and then go ahead and say goodbye to the ladies’ friend.
Mind you I’d be ticked off to no end and be one mean, ornery patient in recovery…
This is great - a Skald the Rhymer Extreme Hypothetical Thread that’s actually based on a real event.
But I have no penis to cut off, despite what a surprising number of people assume after my decade here.
Life would suck without a penis. But it’s still life. I don’t find this to be a difficult decision to make. Doctor – make with the cutting! C’mon, chop chop! (Yeah, I said it.)
You misunderstand my intent; we are one and the same, you and I. Sorry if the snark was undetectable. I intended to show through mild parody the ridiculousness of mac_bolan00’s simple world view. Maybe I should have used a question mark at the end of my original statement, instead.
In the first place, they are called Skaldtheticals. The great WhyNot so named them and she is not to be questioned by the likes of you. :mad:
In the second place this wasn’t one. Skaldtheticals have named characters. There’s a rule someplace.
In the third place there have been Skaldtheticals based on real-life events. I’d link to one if I weren’t so lazy, but I am, so I won’t.
There was a fourth place but I forgot what it was. Something about Keira Knightley I think.
I will send someone over to supply you with a penis if you wish to have your penis cut off to prove a point. I am not sure what that point could be, but then, it’s not MY point, so that doesn’t matter.
Sorry. Rhymers don’t have senses of humor (there’s a sacred story that explains why) so I missed your snark.