# Men - You catch a woman masturbating - What do you do? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 12, 2004, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-you-catch-a-woman-masturbating-what-do-you-do/244804 "2004-05-12T15:34:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Ibanez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a4c791/32.png) [@Ibanez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ibanez)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2012, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-you-catch-a-woman-masturbating-what-do-you-do/244804/61 "2012-08-09T23:07:41Z")
Watch for about eight seconds, then move along while putting that woman on the list of potential people I’d like to get to know at some point. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2012, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-you-catch-a-woman-masturbating-what-do-you-do/244804/62 "2012-08-09T23:28:08Z")
> [@woodstockbirdybird](#): > > Do you have any stories regarding the opposite sex that don’t make you seem like a total scumbag? Yes, almost all of them but none that I would be willing to share here. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Bravo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_bravo/32/493_2.png) [@Johnny\_Bravo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Bravo)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2012, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-you-catch-a-woman-masturbating-what-do-you-do/244804/63 "2012-08-09T23:29:48Z")
I’d finish my pizza delivery and get out of there, because I take pride in my work. ---
**Author:** ![Covered\_In\_Bees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ab992/32.png) [@Covered\_In\_Bees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Covered_In_Bees)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-you-catch-a-woman-masturbating-what-do-you-do/244804/64 "2012-08-10T00:33:50Z")
You’re not living up to your user name then. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-you-catch-a-woman-masturbating-what-do-you-do/244804/65 "2012-08-10T02:26:55Z")
8 years & _she didn’t cum?_ Is laugh & point too harsh? ---
**Author:** ![Jaledin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Jaledin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaledin)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-you-catch-a-woman-masturbating-what-do-you-do/244804/66 "2012-08-10T03:50:24Z")
Assuming she’s a friend and only a friend, make fun of her mercilessly every chance I get until I get bored. ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-you-catch-a-woman-masturbating-what-do-you-do/244804/67 "2012-08-10T13:38:21Z")
> [@Happy\_Lendervedder](#): > > Haven’t all of the responses been of that variety? Well, this one had that distinctive, “I never would have believed this would ever happen to me” flair. ---
**Author:** ![Simple\_Linctus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Simple\_Linctus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simple_Linctus)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-you-catch-a-woman-masturbating-what-do-you-do/244804/68 "2012-08-10T18:09:18Z")
> [@Ellen\_Cherry](#): > > Well, this one had that distinctive, “I never would have believed this would ever happen to me” flair. I saw it when it was still quoted by MPB (but after it had been removed so maybe there was additional content that makes what I am about to say silly) and I don’t see why it had to be removed. It was unlikely but unlikely things happen and I would say it’s odds on something like that has happened in the UK in the last 8 or whatever years, probably more than once. Also, the way it was posted here is consistent with the story the person told of googling it and finding this thread. ---
**Author:** ![thenonepercent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@thenonepercent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thenonepercent)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-you-catch-a-woman-masturbating-what-do-you-do/244804/69 "2012-08-10T18:20:31Z")
Stop peeping through windows. ---
**Author:** ![Wargamer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/df705f/32.png) [@Wargamer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wargamer)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-you-catch-a-woman-masturbating-what-do-you-do/244804/70 "2012-08-10T18:25:25Z")
> [@astro](#): > > Hard to do cause they’re often so sneaky about it, but per the other thread on this subject, what do you do? What can you do? What should you do? Well, I’d take my handy tape measure out and measure her. Then, once I verify she meets the size restrictions I keep her. Otherwise I regretfully release her back into the wild. Then I remember this particular spot for next season. ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-you-catch-a-woman-masturbating-what-do-you-do/244804/71 "2012-08-10T18:26:16Z")
Happened to me once. Driving back to Kansas City from Orlando with a friend and his girlfriend. Friend was in the back seat sleeping, I was in the front passenger seat sleeping, friend’s girlfriend was driving. Woke up to see her diddling herself through her pants. Feeling discretion was the better part of valor, I closed my eyes again, pretending to sleep. ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-you-catch-a-woman-masturbating-what-do-you-do/244804/72 "2012-08-10T18:28:32Z")
> [@FaerieBeth](#): > > Yayess, mercy, yayess… Molly, is that you? ---
**Author:** ![Lust4Life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecc23a/32.png) [@Lust4Life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lust4Life)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-you-catch-a-woman-masturbating-what-do-you-do/244804/73 "2012-08-10T19:48:07Z")
> [@ponderer](#): > > Women don’t masturbate… do they? No, or fart either. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-you-catch-a-woman-masturbating-what-do-you-do/244804.md?page=3)