# Men's cocktail attire/vest **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 14, 2013, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mens-cocktail-attire-vest/658345 "2013-05-14T19:58:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2013, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mens-cocktail-attire-vest/658345/1 "2013-05-14T19:58:05Z")
I’m going to a wedding where the invitation says “cocktail attire”. IYHO, would a dark gray suit, white shirt, conservative tie, and black patent leather shoes fit that bill? If not, should I dress it up or down? (I did a google image for mens cocktail attire and that’s on there but so are jeans and tuxedoes and the web pages vary about as much.) And what about vests- are they in or out these days? (I don’t have one with any of my suits, so if I bought one there’d probably be some deliberate color contrast- though mainly I just want an excuse to buy a steampunk vest.) ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2013, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mens-cocktail-attire-vest/658345/2 "2013-05-14T20:25:35Z")
Your description is fine. Cocktail attire for men is jacket at a minimum. Anything more is fine. No vest, unless you are wearing a tux and want to wear a matching one. And given that invitation didn’t say “black tie” I would avoid a vest. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2013, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mens-cocktail-attire-vest/658345/3 "2013-05-14T20:57:50Z")
The invitation is really addressed to the female guests. It’s suggesting that elaborate ball gowns should be avoided. Female guests are expected to wear cocktail dresses, which tend to be shorter and less formal. Guys are expected to wear a suit and tie or sport jacket. No tux. Shiny patent leather shoes may be a bit too formal for a grey suit and tie. Go with a black pair of oxfords or loafers with a good shine on 'em. A matching vest is too formal. A patterned vest will make you look like you’re going to be performing a magic act later in the evening. So not to that as well. I would consider skipping the tie if the shirt and suit are great. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2013, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mens-cocktail-attire-vest/658345/4 "2013-05-14T21:50:44Z")
Thanks. I’m reading in the wedding so I will go with the tie, but I’ll skip the vest. (Damn it, I wanted an excuse to wear a steampunk vest. 😉 ) ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2013, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mens-cocktail-attire-vest/658345/5 "2013-05-14T22:11:55Z")
Maybe the vest without a jacket? ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2013, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mens-cocktail-attire-vest/658345/6 "2013-05-14T22:35:53Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > Thanks. > > I’m reading in the wedding so I will go with the tie, but I’ll skip the vest. (Damn it, I wanted an excuse to wear a steampunk vest. 😉 ) You need an excuse? Why not just wear a vest? ---
**Author:** ![sisu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@sisu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sisu)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2013, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mens-cocktail-attire-vest/658345/7 "2013-05-14T23:28:55Z")
Wear the vest, love a good vest and they work ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2013, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mens-cocktail-attire-vest/658345/8 "2013-05-14T23:57:51Z")
Just say no to steampunk. Like the fedora, it is a pretentious relic of times long past, and is best left there. Nobody but a model looks like anything but a poser in steampunk (or a fedora). [Source](http://mixlol.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/Fedora-What-you-think-you-look-like-What-you-really-look-like-580x309.jpg). ---
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2013, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mens-cocktail-attire-vest/658345/9 "2013-05-15T00:09:19Z")
> [@DrFidelius](#): > > You need an excuse? Why not just wear a vest? He might be mistaken for one of the serving staff in a vest only. ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2013, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mens-cocktail-attire-vest/658345/10 "2013-05-15T00:16:45Z")
> [@Ranger\_Jeff](#): > > He might be mistaken for one of the serving staff in a vest only. Well, I’m not saying trousers shouldn’t also be included. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mens-cocktail-attire-vest/658345/11 "2013-05-15T01:10:48Z")
What is a steampunk vest? Like an old iron breastplate with rivets and valves and shit? Generally cocktail attire for men is a blazer and dress pants or a suit. Tie is optional. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2013, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mens-cocktail-attire-vest/658345/12 "2013-05-15T01:14:01Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > What is a steampunk vest? Like an old iron breastplate with rivets and valves and shit? A [portable iron lung](https://www.google.com/search?q=steampunk+vest&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ei=s-GSUbTxIeLJ0QGA44CQBg&ved=0CFQQsAQ&biw=1280&bih=685#imgrc=nXIs1km0Gvbj5M%3A%3BiPoHX-9A_LKdVM%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fxerposa.com%252Fwp-content%252Fuploads%252F2012%252F04%252FGannon_steampunk_vest_jacket-682x1024.jpg%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fxerposa.com%252F3960%252Fsteampunk-body-armor%3B682%3B1024). 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2013, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mens-cocktail-attire-vest/658345/13 "2013-05-15T20:51:53Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > What is a steampunk vest? Like an old iron breastplate with rivets and valves and shit? More just [Victorian waistcoat](https://www.google.com/search?q=victorian+waistcoat&rls=com.microsoft:en-us:IE-Address&oe=&um=1&ie=UTF-8&hl=en&tbm=isch&source=og&sa=N&tab=wi&ei=HfWTUfyWEZOw8QT7ioHQBA&biw=1755&bih=813&sei=IPWTUdjoA4Tq8QTE0YHwBA) for my purposes (though I’ve seen the wilder stuff like you described, and the overused goggles). ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2013, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mens-cocktail-attire-vest/658345/14 "2013-05-15T20:53:07Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > More just [Victorian waistcoat](https://www.google.com/search?q=victorian+waistcoat&rls=com.microsoft:en-us:IE-Address&oe=&um=1&ie=UTF-8&hl=en&tbm=isch&source=og&sa=N&tab=wi&ei=HfWTUfyWEZOw8QT7ioHQBA&biw=1755&bih=813&sei=IPWTUdjoA4Tq8QTE0YHwBA) for my purposes (though I’ve seen the wilder stuff like you described, and the overused goggles). You don’t wear costumes to a wedding. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2013, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mens-cocktail-attire-vest/658345/15 "2013-05-15T20:57:03Z")
> [@Omar\_Little](#): > > You don’t wear costumes to a wedding. If I ever marry, it’ll be mandatory. But I receive your meaning. While I was joking about the wilder vest, I was serious about whether vests were in style now or not- I seem to be seeing 3 piece suits more than I used to- but I’m going to take it that it would be too much for this wedding. (Plus, both grooms are rather stylish.) ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2013, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mens-cocktail-attire-vest/658345/16 "2013-05-17T01:02:34Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > Thanks. > > I’m reading in the wedding so I will go with the tie, but I’ll skip the vest. (Damn it, I wanted an excuse to wear a steampunk vest. 😉 ) Wear the vest. If you do not, you will look like the rest of the people. The vest will take you higher than them, a steampunk vest will take you into the stratosphere. So let it be written. ETA: PS: If you don’t find an excuse to take your jacket off, and flaunt the vest, you ain’t goin’ nowhere. ---
**Author:** ![Mrs.Cake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2acd7d/32.png) [@Mrs.Cake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mrs.Cake)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2013, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mens-cocktail-attire-vest/658345/17 "2013-05-17T02:38:52Z")
Another vote for the vest. My husband regularly does this for anything less than serious black-tie affairs and he always gets complimented. Lately I’ve seen more men doing this at the opening nights of the summer opera festival as an alternative to jackets. Most male attire is boring as shit so why miss a chance to look great and stand out? And I think it is at least as dressy as the blazer or business suit most of the men will be wearing. ---
**Author:** ![apollonia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2bfe46/32.png) [@apollonia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/apollonia)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2013, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mens-cocktail-attire-vest/658345/18 "2013-05-17T03:38:31Z")
Three-piece suits are coming into a sort-of vogue for men. I see them with some frequency on men–especially younger men under about 40–at “cocktail attire” and more formal weddings. (I work in the wedding industry.) For some reason, they are also popular among lawyers of all ages, and a particular bent of elderly gentleman. But yes, if you are reading in the wedding, you can be a bit more dressed up and not look out of place. Please don’t wear anything steampunk to a wedding that isn’t already steampunk unless one of the couple has already signed off on it. ---
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2013, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mens-cocktail-attire-vest/658345/19 "2013-05-17T03:44:03Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > Maybe the vest without a jacket? I like that look. As long as it’s not black with a bow tie you won’t look like a server. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2013, 9:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mens-cocktail-attire-vest/658345/20 "2013-05-17T09:03:52Z")
Another option is to wear the vest and a jacket, but no tie - the \*Mentalist \*look. If you can pull it off, you’ll look well-dressed, but casual. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mens-cocktail-attire-vest/658345.md?page=2)