# Men's underwear, fly or no fly? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 16, 2011, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mens-underwear-fly-or-no-fly/603088 "2011-11-16T03:37:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![SmellMyWort](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea5d25/32.png) [@SmellMyWort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmellMyWort)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2011, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mens-underwear-fly-or-no-fly/603088/81 "2011-11-16T18:59:44Z")
All the fly underwear I’ve seen open to the right, so screw the lefties, I guess. ---
**Author:** ![sitchensis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sitchensis/32/4892_2.png) [@sitchensis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sitchensis)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2011, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mens-underwear-fly-or-no-fly/603088/82 "2011-11-16T18:59:47Z")
Uh oh, the side pissers are here, there goes the neighborhood ---
**Author:** ![Frazzled](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/frazzled/32/3368_2.png) [@Frazzled](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frazzled)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2011, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mens-underwear-fly-or-no-fly/603088/83 "2011-11-16T23:48:18Z")
Easiest thing in the world: 1. Unzip Pants 2. Insert left index finger and thumb into fly and spread open 3. Remove King Richard and commence micturation 4. Near end spread fly a little more to prevent constriction and allow easy dribbling 5. When finished, rub finger length of urethra to get last drops out (just like squeezing the last toothpaste out of the tube) - ensures no drippage in underwear 6. Replace the king 7. Zip ---
**Author:** ![FloatyGimpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/floatygimpy/32/7750_2.png) [@FloatyGimpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FloatyGimpy)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2011, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mens-underwear-fly-or-no-fly/603088/84 "2011-11-17T00:36:55Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > No option in the poll. > > I do it as God intended: pull down the band, pull my dick out and pee. I can’t think of any reason to undo the pants and belt. I don’t understand what the men are meaning when they say this. How do you pull down your underwear without undoing your pants? ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2011, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mens-underwear-fly-or-no-fly/603088/85 "2011-11-17T01:04:18Z")
> [@FloatyGimpy](#): > > I don’t understand what the men are meaning when they say this. How do you pull down your underwear without undoing your pants? Unzip. Pinch the shorts with my right thumb and forefinger and pull them down a bit, then reach in and hook my left thumb over the elastic waistband, and point the Little Terrorist with my right hand. ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2011, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mens-underwear-fly-or-no-fly/603088/86 "2011-11-17T01:38:07Z")
To be honest it had never even occurred to me that you were supposed to pee through the fly. I think I have tried it once or twice, just out of curiosity, and it seemed so stupid and awkward I decided the fly must be one of those historical remnants of tailoring, like the false pockets on suit jackets. I mean, if you’re pulling down the waistband of your trousers anyway, it’s much easier to grab the waistband of your underwear at the same time and pull the whole lot down, right? Or are you weird fly-pee-ers _also_ opening the fly in your trousers and leaving the button at the top closed, and fumbling it out through TWO flies at once? Egads, you’re crazy men. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2011, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mens-underwear-fly-or-no-fly/603088/87 "2011-11-17T02:55:42Z")
The fly in underwear is similar to the pocket in pajama tops. Not that I wear pajamas, I don’t. But really, what’s that for? Going to go to bed with some pens and pencils in there? ---
**Author:** ![Frazzled](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/frazzled/32/3368_2.png) [@Frazzled](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frazzled)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2011, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mens-underwear-fly-or-no-fly/603088/88 "2011-11-17T02:56:37Z")
> [@Colophon](#): > > Or are you weird fly-pee-ers _also_ opening the fly in your trousers and leaving the button at the top closed, and fumbling it out through TWO flies at once? Egads, you’re crazy men. That’s _exactly_ how you pee through the fly! I think we need a man class to cover proper pee technique! Lesson 1 is how to pee through your fly without getting your underwear wet. Lesson 2 will be where to aim at the urinal to prevent pee puddles all over the floor! ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2011, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mens-underwear-fly-or-no-fly/603088/89 "2011-11-17T03:07:06Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > But really, what’s that for? Going to go to bed with some pens and pencils in there? Condoms. ---
**Author:** ![Omniscient](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omniscient/32/3290_2.png) [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2011, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mens-underwear-fly-or-no-fly/603088/90 "2011-11-17T05:26:21Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > You’re looking? > [@carnivorousplant](#): > > You give a darn how someone else pees for Christ’s sake? :rolleyes: > [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](#): > > Are you for real? > > To be fair, I guess I should answer. I would never even think to use the fly. I whip it out from the side. That is what seems natural. Really, now is when people start taking this seriously? ---
**Author:** ![Jake\_Jones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Jake\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jake_Jones)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2011, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mens-underwear-fly-or-no-fly/603088/91 "2011-11-17T06:00:27Z")
[QUOTE=Colophon] Or are you weird fly-pee-ers also opening the fly in your trousers and leaving the button at the top closed, and fumbling it out through TWO flies at once? Egads, you’re crazy men. [/QUOTE] > [@Frazzled](#): > > That’s _exactly_ how you pee through the fly! Indeed. The fact that the over the top crowd is winning by almost a two to one margin is completely, utterly baffling to me. The greatest trick man ever pulled was convincing the world that the fly doesn’t exist. ---
**Author:** ![ProbablyProcrastinating](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/57b2e6/32.png) [@ProbablyProcrastinating](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ProbablyProcrastinating)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2011, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mens-underwear-fly-or-no-fly/603088/92 "2011-11-17T06:11:20Z")
I’m a woman and this is fascinating and hilarious. I had no idea that ANY men used the fly. I thought it was from like, the days of suspenders or something. I haven’t seen a lot of grown men pee but I’ve seen a lot of little boys toilet trained. Not one of their dads said, “Pull it through this slot here, son.” > [@](#): > > Quote: > Originally Posted by Siam Sam View Post > > > [@](#): > > > > But really, what’s that for? Going to go to bed with some pens and pencils in there? > > Condoms. Not to derail the thread but… You wear pocket pajamas when you are going to have sex (with someone who is not your wife, otherwise why the condoms)? ETA: I don’t mean to say, cheating on a spouse, I mean, as a single person, with someone who is not a spouse. Though, either way, really. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2011, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mens-underwear-fly-or-no-fly/603088/93 "2011-11-17T06:12:16Z")
> [@Jake\_Jones](#): > > The greatest trick man ever pulled was convincing the world that the fly doesn’t exist. Poof ---
**Author:** ![Jake\_Jones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Jake\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jake_Jones)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2011, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mens-underwear-fly-or-no-fly/603088/94 "2011-11-17T06:26:04Z")
> [@ProbablyProcrastinating](#): > > I had no idea that ANY men used the fly. I thought it was from like, the days of suspenders or something. I haven’t seen a lot of grown men pee but I’ve seen a lot of little boys toilet trained. Not one of their dads said, “Pull it through this slot here, son.” I don’t actually recall being instructed in the urination arts. Actually, that’s not entirely true. I do vaguely recall mom tossing a square of toilet paper in the commode with instructions to sink it, but I definitely have no recollection of instruction in regards to the fly. It’s always been there. Its function is self-evident. It really, truly does not require instruction. I like to think I’m a clever guy, but I can’t muster up any pride in my ability to figure out how a fly works all by myself. ---
**Author:** ![Naxos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/50afbb/32.png) [@Naxos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Naxos)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2011, 6:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mens-underwear-fly-or-no-fly/603088/95 "2011-11-17T06:30:24Z")
> [@EKDS5k](#): > > So. Who uses the fly, and who undoes their belt and buttons, and then pulls the waistband down, like normal, god-fearing\* Americans\*\*? > > \*I’m atheist > \*\*and Canadian Ignoring the conceptual dissonance above… Men wear boxers and use the fly of the boxers. End of. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2011, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mens-underwear-fly-or-no-fly/603088/96 "2011-11-17T14:19:41Z")
> [@ProbablyProcrastinating](#): > > Not to derail the thread but… > > You wear pocket pajamas when you are going to have sex (with someone who is not your wife, otherwise why the condoms)? Nah, kids cramp my style. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2011, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mens-underwear-fly-or-no-fly/603088/97 "2011-11-17T14:32:40Z")
> [@ProbablyProcrastinating](#): > > Not to derail the thread but… > > You wear pocket pajamas when you are going to have sex (with someone who is not your wife, otherwise why the condoms)? Again, I don’t where pajamas. But early on, the wife and I briefly tried condoms, as she was worried about taking the pill. Quickly decided it wasn’t worth the bother, and she took the pill. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2011, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mens-underwear-fly-or-no-fly/603088/98 "2011-11-17T14:47:21Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > Again, I don’t where pajamas. But early on, the wife and I briefly tried condoms, as she was worried about taking the pill. Quickly decided it wasn’t worth the bother, and she took the pill. Same here, save I had a vasectomy. 🙂 But I digress. Back to practice finding the poor, tiny little thing through two flies. Sigh. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2011, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mens-underwear-fly-or-no-fly/603088/99 "2011-11-17T15:15:18Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > But I digress. Back to practice finding the poor, tiny little thing through two flies. A couple of times recently, the two flies didn’t quite line up. I had to fumble around to find the fly within. I can imagine how it would have looked if I was doing that and saying “I know it’s in here somewhere!” ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2011, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mens-underwear-fly-or-no-fly/603088/100 "2011-11-17T15:41:11Z")
I’m sure there is some fundamental physical difference which makes each camp’s method work for them. I almost (but not quite) wish that we had the time and resources to produce a set if Youtube videos of people demonstrating how they accomplish each method - with anatomy replaced with a turkey head after the manner of SFW Porn, of course. Sent with my fat fingers using Tapatalk. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mens-underwear-fly-or-no-fly/603088.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mens-underwear-fly-or-no-fly/603088.md?page=6)