# Menstruation etiquette. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 13, 2009, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/menstruation-etiquette/485641 "2009-02-13T02:50:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![pbbth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f9ae1b/32.png) [@pbbth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pbbth)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2009, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/menstruation-etiquette/485641/21 "2009-02-13T15:58:49Z")
A simple, “Hey, I’m bleeding” works well. My boyfriend doesn’t mind sex during my period but the blood part of it confuses him. In his head blood=pain, so the entire time we go at it he is all, “Am I hurting you? Are you okay?” so I’ve taken to using these when we get busy during that time of the month. They allow him to not worry that he is causing me any kind of pain. ---
**Author:** ![yojimbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yojimbo/32/232_2.png) [@yojimbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yojimbo)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2009, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/menstruation-etiquette/485641/22 "2009-02-13T16:06:35Z")
A very good female friend of mine said to me last night in the pub after she took a while to understand a simple comment I made. > [@](#): > > Never mind me, I’ve a big stupid period head on me today ---
**Author:** ![Sattua](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sattua/32/11906_2.png) [@Sattua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sattua)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2009, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/menstruation-etiquette/485641/23 "2009-02-13T16:12:05Z")
My favorite is, “the crimson tide is upon us.” Then we put down towels. ---
**Author:** ![accidentalyuppie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@accidentalyuppie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/accidentalyuppie)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2009, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/menstruation-etiquette/485641/24 "2009-02-13T16:15:21Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > I’ve said “oh by the way, I’m on my period.” Subtle, whazzat? If a man can’t deal with something I spend 5 days out of every 32 doing, he ain’t the man for me! Same here. When I started dating my las boyfriend though, our “first time” took place a day after my period stopped. Almost 3 weeks later he said to me…“you know, weve been dating a while now and you haven’t had a period yet”. I think I fell in love right then. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2009, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/menstruation-etiquette/485641/25 "2009-02-13T16:28:49Z")
If a man isn’t adult enough to cope with “I’m having my period” as a statement from an intimate he’s not adult enough for me to date. If it’s the first time around I’ll ask if he’s OK having sex with red sauce or not, I can deal with it either way. ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2009, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/menstruation-etiquette/485641/26 "2009-02-13T16:40:34Z")
I got the impression that it was the OP, not the guy, who was uncomfortable with bringing it up. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2009, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/menstruation-etiquette/485641/27 "2009-02-13T16:40:35Z")
> [@outlierrn](#): > > Don’t give me some vague excuse that leaves me wondering what I did wrong. There was a lot of this in high school. Girls were definitely too embarrassed to explain why they weren’t heading over to second base when all systems were go, and would usually offer a lame excuse. As if your period could get any depressing as a teen– you also had to face up to the fact that you wouldn’t be fooling around for 5-7 days. So, in the interests of our quite rational and feminists male student population, while hanging out one day I asked a few of them if they’d rather know when a girl is on her period (and that’s why she doesn’t ant to make out) or live in ignorant bliss. They said: ‘Know, for sure.’ I said: ‘Okay, but no getting grossed out and no jokes. I’m going to hold you to this.’ So I spread the news to the female half of the grade. It took a few years before they got the news about admitting they masturbate, though. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2009, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/menstruation-etiquette/485641/28 "2009-02-13T18:01:10Z")
Ivylad has two sisters. He knows. I would just tell him I have my period (which hasn’t been an issue since chemo) and let him decide if he wanted to pursue the matter further. ---
**Author:** ![Sebastienne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a698b9/32.png) [@Sebastienne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sebastienne)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2009, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/menstruation-etiquette/485641/29 "2009-02-13T18:16:11Z")
> [@corkboard](#): > > I got the impression that it was the OP, not the guy, who was uncomfortable with bringing it up. I wouldn’t describe myself as being uncomfortable. As I said, how to bring it up gave me pause for only a moment, partially because we’re still in that “be as polished as possible around each other” stage, and mostly because while I’m used to being able to casually mention menstruation around my (platonic and otherwise) female friends, I never had to before with a man who wasn’t already practically family. I realized it was a fairly silly distinction to make, but knowing that some folks are weird about it, I did start wondering how other women address the issue. (Me, I sent an email. But that’s how I deal with most things.) ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2009, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/menstruation-etiquette/485641/30 "2009-02-13T18:49:48Z")
Sending an e-mail. Hee. To: Loverboy From: Sebastienne Re: Our date has fallen to the communists cc: M. J. Schwartz, OB/GYN It is incumbent upon the undersigned to inform the addressee that a deviation from the previously planned scenario may impact the functionality of our win-win outcome. This information should not be in any way construed as an offer, provided is for informational purposes only, and is not intended for public distribution. By reading this document you acknowledge that you are the authorized recipient and will not share this information with others in public restrooms or taverns. To unsubscribe from this notification list, do it in person like a man and not by e-mail, you bastard. ---
**Author:** ![Sebastienne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a698b9/32.png) [@Sebastienne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sebastienne)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2009, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/menstruation-etiquette/485641/31 "2009-02-13T19:02:00Z")
**Sigmagirl** , you just made me laught aloud and clap my hands. ---
**Author:** ![outlierrn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/outlierrn/32/3005_2.png) [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2009, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/menstruation-etiquette/485641/32 "2009-02-13T19:10:16Z")
> [@Sigmagirl](#): > > Sending an e-mail. Hee. > > To: Loverboy > From: Sebastienne > Re: Our date has fallen to the communists > cc: M. J. Schwartz, OB/GYN > > It is incumbent upon the undersigned to inform the addressee that a deviation from the previously planned scenario may impact the functionality of our win-win outcome. This information should not be in any way construed as an offer, provided is for informational purposes only, and is not intended for public distribution. > > By reading this document you acknowledge that you are the authorized recipient and will not share this information with others in public restrooms or taverns. > > To unsubscribe from this notification list, do it in person like a man and not by e-mail, you bastard. mixed messages! ---
**Author:** ![Altair33](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e79b87/32.png) [@Altair33](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Altair33)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2009, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/menstruation-etiquette/485641/33 "2009-02-13T19:39:05Z")
Just say “it’s that time”- unless he’s very stupid he will know what you mean. No need to use the word “bloody” or anything like that- most men have caught onto the whole menstruation thing and it’s on our checklist of possibilities for any given date. ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2009, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/menstruation-etiquette/485641/34 "2009-02-13T20:30:19Z")
> [@Sebastienne](#): > > I wouldn’t describe myself as being uncomfortable. As I said, how to bring it up gave me pause for only a moment, partially because we’re still in that “be as polished as possible around each other” stage, and mostly because while I’m used to being able to casually mention menstruation around my (platonic and otherwise) female friends, I never had to before with a man who wasn’t already practically family. I realized it was a fairly silly distinction to make, but knowing that some folks are weird about it, I did start wondering how other women address the issue. (Me, I sent an email. But that’s how I deal with most things.) My comment was in response to **Broomstick** ’s post, which seemed to imply that you were willing to be completely up front about your period coinciding with your next date, but your guy might be too squeamish to handle it. You hadn’t indicated he might be that way, but instead implied you were looking for the right way to break it to him, I got the sense you were uncomfortable bringing it up. ---
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2009, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/menstruation-etiquette/485641/35 "2009-02-13T20:46:29Z")
> [@Sebastienne](#): > > I wouldn’t describe myself as being uncomfortable. As I said, how to bring it up gave me pause for only a moment, partially because we’re still in that “be as polished as possible around each other” stage, and mostly because while I’m used to being able to casually mention menstruation around my (platonic and otherwise) female friends, I never had to before with a man who wasn’t already practically family. I realized it was a fairly silly distinction to make, but knowing that some folks are weird about it, I did start wondering how other women address the issue. (Me, I sent an email. But that’s how I deal with most things.) For what it’s worth, my husband and I have been together nine years, married for four, and he still gets skeeved out by me saying bluntly, “I’m on my period.” It’s not really a question of being polished so much as his sensibilities. He just doesn’t want to know about some things, which I have no problem with. If I’m on my period and he wants to have sex and the flow is really heavy, I’ll usually just say, “Hey, how 'bout tomorrow night?” Or I’ll offer something other than intercourse, like oral sex. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2009, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/menstruation-etiquette/485641/36 "2009-02-13T20:48:49Z")
Well, she did ask how other women dealt with the issue, and that’s how I do it. “I’m having my period” is understood by most English speakers over the age of 15 (even younger for girls, of course). It’s concise, not too much information, but also not overly vague. Works for me, your mileage may vary, as always. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2009, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/menstruation-etiquette/485641/37 "2009-02-13T20:59:37Z")
Having read this whole thread, my faves are “Shark Week” and “Our date has fallen to the communists”. Several of my exes were normally a little randy during Shark Week. I like it women are a little randy, so I don’t mind a bit. If that means buying new sheets, so be it. A small price to pay! ---
**Author:** ![lisacurl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/41988e/32.png) [@lisacurl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lisacurl)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2009, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/menstruation-etiquette/485641/38 "2009-02-13T21:17:36Z")
I’m beginning to regret being on Yaz birth control pills which basically suppress menstruation, because I really want to use the “fallen to the Communists” line. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Tonya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/4491bb/32.png) [@Queen\_Tonya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Tonya)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2009, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/menstruation-etiquette/485641/39 "2009-02-13T21:20:22Z")
When I was in a similar situation once, getting it regularly but not able to sync our schedules up often and not talking on the phone every day thing, I simply showed up with a new set of dark-colored sheets for his bed. He got it immediately and helped me remake the bed quite happily. ---
**Author:** ![HMS\_Irruncible](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hms_irruncible/32/7394_2.png) [@HMS\_Irruncible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HMS_Irruncible)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2009, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/menstruation-etiquette/485641/40 "2009-02-13T21:24:39Z")
As a male, all I ask is that you explain yourself clearly. Don’t use euphemisms that are so indirect that I don’t know what you’re saying. Had a lady tell me once that we “had to restrain ourselves because the painters are in”. Got there, saw no drop-cloths, thought I was home free. Guess again! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/menstruation-etiquette/485641.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/menstruation-etiquette/485641.md?page=3)