# Mentally ill or just neurotic? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [January 12, 2017, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mentally-ill-or-just-neurotic/776964 "2017-01-12T16:49:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![CC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f1d935/32.png) [@CC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CC)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2017, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mentally-ill-or-just-neurotic/776964/1 "2017-01-12T16:49:10Z")
Thin line, I suppose. An acquaintance named Diane seems to consider herself as a character in her own life. It’s peculiar to me. For instance, she’ll say, “I was walking past the store and I said, ‘Diane,’ why don’t you go in a buy something?” Or she’ll be talking about a decision she made and she’ll stop to insert, “Look at me, I’m making an excuse for deciding to go downtown.” It’s as if she’s looking at herself as a separate individual. Sometimes it seems just like behavioral quirk, but sometimes, it really seems as if she’s separated herself from…herself. Is there a name for this mannerism? Is there, maybe, something more serious going on here? ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2017, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mentally-ill-or-just-neurotic/776964/2 "2017-01-12T16:59:46Z")
It is called [Illeism](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Illeism) (speaking of yourself in the 3rd person). It is admittedly annoying but fairly common and usually does not indicate mental illness. I had a college roommate that did it constantly. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2017, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mentally-ill-or-just-neurotic/776964/3 "2017-01-12T17:21:37Z")
Omar listening. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2017, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mentally-ill-or-just-neurotic/776964/4 "2017-01-12T17:24:22Z")
Isn’t _neurosis_ a form of mental illness? ---
**Author:** ![CC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f1d935/32.png) [@CC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CC)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2017, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mentally-ill-or-just-neurotic/776964/5 "2017-01-12T17:28:33Z")
As I understand it, pretty much everyone has some neurosis or another. That’s basically normal. We’re all a bit quirky about different things. It’s when it becomes a hindrance in your life - or someone else’s - that it tips into mental illness. ---
**Author:** ![sitchensis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sitchensis/32/4892_2.png) [@sitchensis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sitchensis)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2017, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mentally-ill-or-just-neurotic/776964/6 "2017-01-12T17:56:30Z")
I’ve always thought is was an affectation put on by middle aged women. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2017, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mentally-ill-or-just-neurotic/776964/7 "2017-01-12T18:55:31Z")
> [@sitchensis](#): > > I’ve always thought is was an affectation put on by middle aged women. What, illeism or mental illness? ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2017, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mentally-ill-or-just-neurotic/776964/8 "2017-01-12T20:43:22Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > It is called [Illeism](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Illeism) (speaking of yourself in the 3rd person). It is admittedly annoying but fairly common and usually does not indicate mental illness. I had a college roommate that did it constantly. I’m not sure it’s quite that. It sounds more like she speaks to herself in the third person. If even that. It honestly sounds a lot like a rhetorical style. I’ve heard a lot of (British) comedians use this style, too, when telling funny stories about their life. ---
**Author:** ![CC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f1d935/32.png) [@CC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CC)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2017, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mentally-ill-or-just-neurotic/776964/9 "2017-01-12T21:24:08Z")
OK. This woman doesn’t sound overtly mentally ill. I guess it’s more of a quirk, but it seems to reveal to me a person overly interested in herself, her image, what others think of her and how much she desires to be “normal,” continually judging her own behavior. It’s a bit over the top, and as **Shagnasty** said, admittedly annoying. She may not be crazy, but I think I might be if her visit had lasted much longer. ---
**Author:** ![gnoitall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bb73d2/32.png) [@gnoitall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gnoitall)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2017, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mentally-ill-or-just-neurotic/776964/10 "2017-01-12T21:42:39Z")
Is she wealthy enough to be “eccentric”? No? Then you call it “crazy”. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Alan\_Smithee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2acd7d/32.png) [@Alan\_Smithee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alan_Smithee)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2017, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mentally-ill-or-just-neurotic/776964/11 "2017-01-12T22:57:48Z")
I’m not at all clear what you’re talking about. In the first example, she talks to herself in the second person and addresses herself by name, but she doesn’t do that in the second example. (Using second person–your name and _you_–instead of first person _I_ isn’t that unusual and I’ve read it [may even have some benefits](http://lifehacker.com/talk-to-yourself-with-third-person-pronouns-for-better-1573612525).) In the second example she describes how she imagines she appears from the outside, which is different, but sounds like a sign of healthy self-awareness to me. The only thing the two examples have in common that I can tell is that in both of them she is describing her internal state and thought process to you, when you may not be interested. Talking excessively about oneself and especially about one’s internal thoughts can be certainly be annoying, but that’s just being self-centered, not neurotic and not a sign of dissociation from the self. ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2017, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mentally-ill-or-just-neurotic/776964/12 "2017-01-12T23:43:30Z")
Cerebus hates cute card games… Seriously, I see it as only a figure of speech. “Well, will you look at me” isn’t that much different from, “Well, would you look at the time.” Now, if she’s waving a meat-cleaver around at the same time… ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2017, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mentally-ill-or-just-neurotic/776964/13 "2017-01-13T00:22:54Z")
I’d say it’s time to lock your pet rabbit’s cage in the basement. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2017, 6:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mentally-ill-or-just-neurotic/776964/14 "2017-01-13T06:24:37Z")
I come from a long line of people who are actually mentally ill and no, she’s not. It may annoy you but it’s not crazy. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2017, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mentally-ill-or-just-neurotic/776964/15 "2017-01-13T13:27:38Z")
> [@TokyoBayer](#): > > I come from a long line of people who are actually mentally ill and no, she’s not. It may annoy you but it’s not crazy. This. It’s pretty typical to see behaviors that make some others uncomfortable labeled as a mental illness of some sort by said discomfitured people. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2017, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mentally-ill-or-just-neurotic/776964/16 "2017-01-13T13:37:38Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Isn’t _neurosis_ a form of mental illness? Simple hierarchy here: Neurotics build castles in the air. Psychotics move into those castles. My mother cleans the castles. ---
**Author:** ![naita](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/naita/32/5862_2.png) [@naita](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/naita)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2017, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mentally-ill-or-just-neurotic/776964/17 "2017-01-13T13:50:19Z")
I’ve used similar phrasings on occasion, probably having picked it up from fiction, where it is not uncommon. Your conclusion based on this affectation of speech that she sees herself as a character in her own life seems unsubstantiated. ---
**Author:** ![WOOKINPANUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wookinpanub/32/132_2.png) [@WOOKINPANUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUB)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2017, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mentally-ill-or-just-neurotic/776964/18 "2017-01-13T14:11:39Z")
_Jimmy’s doesn’t like it when you call Jimmy neurotic. Jimmy’s getting upset!_ It doesn’t sound neurotic or even particularly unusual to me. It’s just her style (though I can understand why you might find it annoying). ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2017, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mentally-ill-or-just-neurotic/776964/19 "2017-01-13T16:15:37Z")
“Mongo just pawn in game of life.” ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2017, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mentally-ill-or-just-neurotic/776964/20 "2017-01-13T16:36:32Z")
“Homey don’t play dat game.” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mentally-ill-or-just-neurotic/776964.md?page=2)