# Menu descriptions

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/menu-descriptions/843931>\
**Category:** Cafe Society\
**Created:** [November 24, 2019, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/menu-descriptions/843931 "2019-11-24T19:42:48Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 4\
**Page:** 1

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\
**Post date:** [November 24, 2019, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/menu-descriptions/843931/1 "2019-11-24T19:42:48Z")

</div>

This thread is for amusing descriptions of menu items. [This](http://places.singleplatform.com/jack-niemanns-black-forest-steakhouse/menu) is from the place we’re going to tonight (emphasis mine):

> [@](#):
>
> **Rare**  
> partially raw, warm in the center
> 
> **Medium Rare**  
> fully cooked, pink all the way though, tender and juicy
> 
> **Medium**  
> partially overcooked, pink only in the center
> 
> **Medium Well**  
> overcooked, very slightly pink in the center, dried out with a 24% loss of original weight
> 
> **Well Done**  
> completely over cooked and with most of the flavor, texture and weight destroyed

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\
**Post date:** [November 24, 2019, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/menu-descriptions/843931/2 "2019-11-24T20:38:43Z")

</div>

[Here’s](https://www.clovergrill.com/facilities) the online menu for Clover Grill in New Orleans.

> [@](#):
>
> Have character…don’t be one.  
> Everyone brings happiness into this business,  
> some when they come in, others when they leave.  
> Dancing in the aisles only, please keep off the tables.  
> No talking to yourself. Keep both hands on the table.

Twenty-five years ago their printed menu (which they had to remind people not to steal) said, ‘Yes! We have Fruit Loops!’ (Lots of gay staff and clientele.)

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\
**Post date:** [November 24, 2019, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/menu-descriptions/843931/3 "2019-11-24T23:53:03Z")

</div>

I used to go to a tavern in East Lansing, Michigan, in the late 80"s. (Have to note the date) Best chili cheese fries you ever had.

One notation on the menu said, _"We don’t take checks, but we will serve small parties of Lithuanians._

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![markn\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@markn\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/markn_1)\
**Post date:** [November 25, 2019, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/menu-descriptions/843931/4 "2019-11-25T00:47:14Z")

</div>

There are a lot of amusing menu items which (probably) weren’t meant to be amusing, but are just bad translations. Here are some pretty good ones:

> **[80 Of The Funniest Menu Translation Fails Ever](https://www.boredpanda.com/funny-menu-fails/)**
>
> Presentation is part of a dish's appeal, and the menu is part of the presentation. This makes the English translation of food descriptions important; if I see an item described as “human” chicken, I'm not going to order it no matter how delicious it...

I really want to try that Fuck the Duck Until Exploded. Sounds awesome. But I don’t think I want to see it being prepared.