# Mercy sex **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 20, 2004, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mercy-sex/275859 "2004-11-20T19:55:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Blalron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Blalron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blalron)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2004, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mercy-sex/275859/1 "2004-11-20T19:55:30Z")
I’ve heard of the concept of a “mercy fuck” but I’ve never actually heard of anyone engaging in the practice. Has anyone ever had sex with someone because they felt sorry for them, not because you were attracted to them? ---
**Author:** ![ouryL](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ouryl/32/6067_2.png) [@ouryL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ouryL)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2004, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mercy-sex/275859/2 "2004-11-20T20:37:44Z")
Giving in to a mercyfuck is just an excuse, justfying the fact that you would fuck just about anything. ---
**Author:** ![ccwaterback](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@ccwaterback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ccwaterback)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2004, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mercy-sex/275859/3 "2004-11-20T22:31:53Z")
I don’t know if this is in the same category, but new-ex sex, yeah. What I mean is a person that USED to go out with, or be married to a good friend of yours. Now that they are free, they want to catch up on their fantasies and taboos I suppose. ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2004, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mercy-sex/275859/4 "2004-11-20T22:48:11Z")
I have only heard of a couple of mercy fucks–and each tended to turn out badly for one or more parties involved, so I can’t see that I’d ever do it. (We’re not talking about those times when one’s spouse takes pity on one, are we?) ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2004, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mercy-sex/275859/5 "2004-11-20T23:54:29Z")
> [@tomndebb](#): > > (We’re not talking about those times when one’s spouse takes pity on one, are we?) My understanding of a pity fuck - the term by which I know it - is that one is not usually in a significant (let alone legally-binding) relationship with the other party/ies. However, this rule is probably written in lube;) ---
**Author:** ![Tentacle\_Monster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ba9def/32.png) [@Tentacle\_Monster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tentacle_Monster)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2004, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mercy-sex/275859/6 "2004-11-21T00:29:45Z")
Oh. I thought you were talking about sex during which one party cries out for mercy. Carry on. ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2004, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mercy-sex/275859/7 "2004-11-21T00:42:14Z")
Not to hijack the thread but I’m curious about “grudge fucks” in addition to “mercy fucks”. Both are terms I’m fairly familiar with and hear often enough but I’ve never known anyone to actually practice either one. Anyone done or know someone who has had a grudge fuck before? ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2004, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mercy-sex/275859/8 "2004-11-21T00:48:33Z")
No way in hell. Sex in a loving committed relationship ONLY for this girl. PERIOD. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2004, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mercy-sex/275859/9 "2004-11-21T00:50:04Z")
> [@Aesiron](#): > > Not to hijack the thread but I’m curious about “grudge fucks” in addition to “mercy fucks”. Both are terms I’m fairly familiar with and hear often enough but I’ve never known anyone to actually practice either one. I’ve never heard of this before, could you explain? Does it actually imply there’s some sort of grudge, or instead one grudgingly agreed to the sex? ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2004, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mercy-sex/275859/10 "2004-11-21T00:53:53Z")
It’s always been my understanding that it’s sex between two people wherein at least one of the people doesn’t like the other one very much, if at all, and/or there’s some sort of demeaning aspect to it like the other person’s a trophy just to be had. ---
**Author:** ![Zjestika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/8edcca/32.png) [@Zjestika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zjestika)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2004, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mercy-sex/275859/11 "2004-11-21T00:58:03Z")
I think a grudge fuck might be like a “hate fuck.” Sort of in the bag-over-the-head neighborhood. Guy #1: What an annoying bitch. Guy #2: Yeah, but I’d fuck her anyway. I’ve heard these types of conversations and they always skeeve me out. Bleech! Men are pigs. 😛 ZJ ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2004, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mercy-sex/275859/12 "2004-11-21T01:01:51Z")
Yeah… that sums it up nicely, **Zjestika**. ---
**Author:** ![ccwaterback](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@ccwaterback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ccwaterback)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2004, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mercy-sex/275859/13 "2004-11-21T01:57:05Z")
Or … Missy knows that her SO doesn’t like Joe, and Missy is totally pissed at her SO, so she fucks Joe just to piss off her SO. It happens, watch Jerry Springer. ---
**Author:** ![Priam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/77aa72/32.png) [@Priam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Priam)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2004, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mercy-sex/275859/14 "2004-11-21T02:45:55Z")
I always understood the term “grudge fuck” as applying to sort of an anti-attraction. You know how there are some people you hate so much that there’s a sort of chemistry? Sparks are flying, but _not_ completely in a good way and certainly not in a relationship-friendly way. Yet the sparks _are_ there and there’s an amount of attraction in the concept of screwing them, if only to have something else you can argue about. ---
**Author:** ![Malodorous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e47774/32.png) [@Malodorous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malodorous)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2004, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mercy-sex/275859/15 "2004-11-21T03:19:03Z")
> [@Blalron](#): > > Has anyone ever had sex with someone because they felt sorry for them, not because you were attracted to them? I always assume the only reason any girl goes to bed with me is out of pity. ---
**Author:** ![Cerowyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/82dd89/32.png) [@Cerowyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cerowyn)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2004, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mercy-sex/275859/16 "2004-11-21T04:11:31Z")
I’m pretty confident that when most people say ‘grudge fuck,’ they mean having sex with someone to spite someone else. And, for a second there, I thought we were going to get a TMI post from **CanvasShoes** about _when_ she’d have sex, but then realized it was less serious. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2004, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mercy-sex/275859/17 "2004-11-21T04:19:19Z")
If one can take “grudge fuck” to mean “sex with somebody you absolutely do not like, who is a total asshole who abandoned you at a party to fuck the only other civilian there when you thought you were in a relationship, but you went on having sex with him unintentionally for a few months because you had amazing chemistry so every time you saw him you ended up in bed, even though the sex totally sucked”, then I’ll reluctantly admit to that one. If that’s a pity fuck, on the other hand, I guess I’ve done that too. :rolleyes: Not my finest hour(s) there, indeed. Please, somebody else come in and cop to something! ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2004, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mercy-sex/275859/18 "2004-11-21T04:19:39Z")
If such a thing as a mercy fuck existed, I would have had a lot more sex. 😃 Seriously, though, I’ve never heard of such a thing as mercy sex actually happening. I’ve heard of, “he was so annoying I had sex with him to shut him up” … “I wanted to make my boyfriend jealous, so I had sex with him”… even a couple of cases of “yeah, I had sex with him, but I also had lobster.” Re: grudge fucks, yeah I’ve heard of a couple of cases where a woman had a fight with her boyfriend and had sex with another guy for revenge. But all of those combined don’t add up to the number of “I got really drunk last night and had sex” that I’ve heard about. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2004, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mercy-sex/275859/19 "2004-11-21T04:26:25Z")
Mercy sex isn’t really the appropriate term, but I have had courtesy sex a few times. That’s when you have sex to be polite. ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2004, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mercy-sex/275859/20 "2004-11-21T04:28:51Z")
> [@matt\_mcl](#): > > Mercy sex isn’t really the appropriate term, but I have had courtesy sex a few times. That’s when you have sex to be polite. I don’t know anyone that polite. 😛 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mercy-sex/275859.md?page=2)