# Mercy sex **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 20, 2004, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mercy-sex/275859 "2004-11-20T19:55:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![ccwaterback](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@ccwaterback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ccwaterback)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2004, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mercy-sex/275859/21 "2004-11-21T05:02:02Z")
And then there’s convenience sex. After a relationship is over you still have sex with each other because it’s more convenient that going out in the world and taking your chances with a stranger. Or maybe that’s what they call “a friend with benefits”. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2004, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mercy-sex/275859/22 "2004-11-21T06:52:58Z")
> [@Cicero](#): > > I don’t know anyone that polite. 😛 It’s a Canadian thing. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2004, 7:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mercy-sex/275859/23 "2004-11-21T07:37:10Z")
> [@Cerowyn](#): > > I’m pretty confident that when most people say ‘grudge fuck,’ they mean having sex with someone to spite someone else. > > And, for a second there, I thought we were going to get a TMI post from **CanvasShoes** about _when_ she’d have sex, but then realized it was less serious. Huurrrhhh? 😃 Am I TMI too much? ---
**Author:** ![Walloon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/fbc32d/32.png) [@Walloon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walloon)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2004, 8:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mercy-sex/275859/24 "2004-11-21T08:02:42Z")
Yes. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2004, 8:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mercy-sex/275859/25 "2004-11-21T08:11:01Z")
> [@Malodorous](#): > > I always assume the only reason any girl goes to bed with me is out of pity. [Homer Simpson] Ah, pity. Where would my love life be without it? [/Homer Simpson] ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2004, 8:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mercy-sex/275859/26 "2004-11-21T08:23:12Z")
> [@matt\_mcl](#): > > It’s a Canadian thing. 😉 I’ve decided I’m going to be really really polite. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![VarlosZ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d78d45/32.png) [@VarlosZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VarlosZ)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2004, 8:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mercy-sex/275859/27 "2004-11-21T08:33:07Z")
> [@Cerowyn](#): > > I’m pretty confident that when most people say ‘grudge fuck,’ they mean having sex with someone to spite someone else. I’m pretty confident that you’re mistaken. I think most people go by the other definition offered in this thread – I would “grudge fuck” Ann Coulter, for instance. ---
**Author:** ![Walloon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/fbc32d/32.png) [@Walloon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walloon)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2004, 8:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mercy-sex/275859/28 "2004-11-21T08:36:37Z")
P.S. I was answering the OP, not **CanvasShoes**. ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2004, 11:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mercy-sex/275859/29 "2004-11-21T11:03:46Z")
Ooh, let’s not forget the Theatre Fuck, when the two romantic leads of the High School play start going out, go to the Senior prom, are the “hot item”… but turn out to be totally incompatible as soon as the show ends and they never speak to each other again. God, I wish I had got that part instead of Sam… ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2004, 11:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mercy-sex/275859/30 "2004-11-21T11:04:35Z")
> [@Malodorous](#): > > I always assume the only reason any girl goes to bed with me is out of pity. **Malodorous** , you’re new around here, but I think I’m going to call you on that. You see, I’m an unabashed geek – glasses, career in IT, science fiction fan, Mensa membership, the works. The only guys I’ve gone to bed with have also been geeks. When I choose to go to bed with a man, it is _never_ out of pity, but only out of genuine love and attraction, and I assume that’s why he’s choosing to go to bed with me. If I ask you to bed, and you let me know you assume it’s out of pity, I’ll probably change my mind about it, then try to change your mind about yourself, if you’re worth it. Back to the OP, I suspect I’ve been on the receiving end of a mercy fuck or two from my ex-fiance after we’d broken up. He was my first, my best friend, and he told me later I was not deceiving him or guilting him into it. He knew exactly what I was up to and was a willing participant, or so he said. He also said I was not pathetic, although I’ve got my doubts about that. I have considered giving a mercy fuck, but the gentleman in question deserved better than that, and we both knew it. The mutual love, respect, and attraction was there, but the desire was missing on my part and we knew that after the initial rush, he’d only wind up feeling more depressed. It wasn’t worth it. CJ ---
**Author:** ![Waverly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/57b2e6/32.png) [@Waverly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waverly)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2004, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mercy-sex/275859/31 "2004-11-21T13:26:44Z")
No, I’ve never given pity sex, as I would call it. I’ve been in the situation, and it seems far too much like taking advantage of someone in fragile state just to get off. It might not be true, but it’s too close for my comfort. Grudge sex, however, can be great sex. ---
**Author:** ![Blown\_Injected](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a87d85/32.png) [@Blown\_Injected](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blown_Injected)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2004, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mercy-sex/275859/32 "2004-11-21T14:20:24Z")
> [@Zjestika](#): > > I think a grudge fuck might be like a “hate fuck.” Sort of in the bag-over-the-head neighborhood. > > Guy #1: What an annoying bitch. > > Guy #2: Yeah, but I’d fuck her anyway. > > I’ve heard these types of conversations and they always skeeve me out. Bleech! Men are pigs. 😛 > > ZJ Never heard of a grudge fuck, but the Guy# 1 & 2 thing does not seem correct. A man would nail ANY attractive girl no matter how much of a bitch. There just needs to be something about the body that is appealing. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Uvula\_Donor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e19adc/32.png) [@Uvula\_Donor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uvula_Donor)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2004, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mercy-sex/275859/33 "2004-11-21T14:32:04Z")
> [@matt\_mcl](#): > > Mercy sex isn’t really the appropriate term, but I have had courtesy sex a few times. That’s when you have sex to be polite. Polite people don’t “fuck”, they “copulate”. 😃 As for grudge fucks, just before my brother and SIL were married, my future SIL fucked my brother’s best friend \*and made sure he’d find out about it \* because she thought they spent too much time together and wanted to drive a wedge between them. It worked, too. Brother and SIL are still married and brother hasn’t spoken to former best friend in about 20 years. ---
**Author:** ![Saintly\_Loser](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saintly_loser/32/4045_2.png) [@Saintly\_Loser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saintly_Loser)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2004, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mercy-sex/275859/34 "2004-11-21T16:18:40Z")
> [@ouryL](#): > > Giving in to a mercyfuck is just an excuse, justfying the fact that you would fuck just about anything. No, not always. I’ve seen it happen where that isn’t the case. Case in point. A man and a woman break up, not because either party has done anything terrible to the other, but because one party (in this case the man) comes to realize that, despite their mutual attraction, which is genuine, the two are so far apart on some very basic issues that a future isn’t possible for them. The woman makes the man feel so terrible for leaving her, and says she really needs to be with him sexually “just one more time” and “this is the least you can do for me”, and there are many tears, and so the man sleeps with her. Not because he wants to, but because he feels really, really bad about the whole thing and he thinks he just can’t say no under the circumstances. It’s not a good situation, and no good will come of it, but it’s not becuse"[he] would fuck just about anything." Not at all. ---
**Author:** ![Waverly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/57b2e6/32.png) [@Waverly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waverly)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2004, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mercy-sex/275859/35 "2004-11-21T21:16:08Z")
> [@matt\_mcl](#): > > Mercy sex isn’t really the appropriate term, but I have had courtesy sex a few times. That’s when you have sex to be polite. Notice to any and all ladies I might take an interest in: I consider it indecorous not to put out. Well… I didn’t until I read this, but I thought it might be worth a shot. ---
**Author:** ![ioioio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ioioio/32/316_2.png) [@ioioio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ioioio)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2004, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mercy-sex/275859/36 "2004-11-21T21:56:45Z")
What is it called when you don’t really feel like having sex, but you do because it’s less trouble to just do it than to argue about it? There’s an answer to this – I want to see if anyone knows it. ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2004, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mercy-sex/275859/37 "2004-11-21T22:16:00Z")
> [@Uvula Donor](#): > > As for grudge fucks, just before my brother and SIL were married, my future SIL fucked my brother’s best friend \*and made sure he’d find out about it \* because she thought they spent too much time together and wanted to drive a wedge between them. It worked, too. Brother and SIL are still married and brother hasn’t spoken to former best friend in about 20 years. What a bitch. I’d dump her in a heartbeat, or, better yet, at the alter. How anyone could even consider marrying somebody who’s mind works that way is beyond me… ---
**Author:** ![Uvula\_Donor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e19adc/32.png) [@Uvula\_Donor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uvula_Donor)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2004, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mercy-sex/275859/38 "2004-11-21T22:51:06Z")
I think he was pussyblinded. ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2004, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mercy-sex/275859/39 "2004-11-21T23:56:55Z")
> [@matt\_mcl](#): > > It’s a Canadian thing. 😉 :eek: Have you posted this in the “Convince me to move to Canada” thread? ---
**Author:** ![Zjestika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/8edcca/32.png) [@Zjestika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zjestika)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2004, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mercy-sex/275859/40 "2004-11-22T02:06:13Z")
> [@Blown & Injected](#): > > Never heard of a grudge fuck, but the Guy# 1 & 2 thing does not seem correct. A man would nail ANY attractive girl no matter how much of a bitch. There just needs to be something about the body that is appealing. > 😃 Yeah, I gues what was missing was the inflection. I was going for that with the “bag-over-the-head” concept. Originally, when I was typing, I had Guy #2 say something more mysogynist and TMI, and skeeved myself out. Like the guy would fuck her specifically because she was annoying and a bitch, like to teach her a lesson or shut her up. Not nice, but that’s why it’s a called hate fuck. I’ve never known anyone to actually do it, though. Thankfully. ZJ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mercy-sex/275859.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mercy-sex/275859.md?page=3)