# Mercy sex **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 20, 2004, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mercy-sex/275859 "2004-11-20T19:55:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2004, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mercy-sex/275859/41 "2004-11-22T02:24:51Z")
> [@laina\_f](#): > > What is it called when you don’t really feel like having sex, but you do because it’s less trouble to just do it than to argue about it? > There’s an answer to this – I want to see if anyone knows it. Married sex? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![MannyL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba8739/32.png) [@MannyL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MannyL)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2004, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mercy-sex/275859/42 "2004-11-22T05:41:36Z")
> [@laina\_f](#): > > What is it called when you don’t really feel like having sex, but you do because it’s less trouble to just do it than to argue about it? > There’s an answer to this – I want to see if anyone knows it. Rape? ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2004, 11:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mercy-sex/275859/43 "2004-11-22T11:39:40Z")
> [@Blown & Injected](#): > > A man would nail ANY attractive girl no matter how much of a bitch. There just needs to be something about the body that is appealing. I agree with that… the physical sexual drive is almost independent of that part of our mind that judges appropriateness and Whether The Relationship Would Actually Work. “You will check out everyone you see… And you will never heave…” > [@ccwaterback](#): > > And then there’s convenience sex. After a relationship is over you still have sex with each other because it’s more convenient that going out in the world and taking your chances with a stranger. Or maybe that’s what they call “a friend with benefits”. I always thought that a “friend with benefits” was someone with whom you had (or had had) no deeper relationship. > [@matt\_mcl](#): > > > [@Cicero](#): > > > > I don’t know anyone that polite. > > It’s a Canadian thing. I have never heard of “courtesy sex”. Maybe it’s a Montréal thing. 🙂 [sub]Or maybe those almost-unbelievable rumours are true and the rest of the country _really does_ hate Torontonians…[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Blown\_Injected](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a87d85/32.png) [@Blown\_Injected](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blown_Injected)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2004, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mercy-sex/275859/44 "2004-11-22T13:12:18Z")
> [@Zjestika](#): > > Originally, when I was typing, I had Guy #2 say something more mysogynist and TMI, and skeeved myself out. ZJ \*\* LOL \*\* ---
**Author:** ![badmana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@badmana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/badmana)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2004, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mercy-sex/275859/45 "2004-11-22T15:11:16Z")
> [@laina\_f](#): > > What is it called when you don’t really feel like having sex, but you do because it’s less trouble to just do it than to argue about it? > There’s an answer to this – I want to see if anyone knows it. Heh, I’m sure I’ve received my share of this sort of sex. We usually don’t argue though. It’s more like, I start grabbing things, she realizes that if she wants to watch uninterupted TV she’s going to have to get “rid” of me. So after a quickie she’s back to watching TV while I’m getting off the floor. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2004, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mercy-sex/275859/46 "2004-11-22T15:58:27Z")
> [@laina\_f](#): > > What is it called when you don’t really feel like having sex, but you do because it’s less trouble to just do it than to argue about it? > There’s an answer to this – I want to see if anyone knows it. “So I knew I had to get out of there right away, so I just gave him head and went home. No, wait, HEAR ME OUT! I knew it would take less time to just do that and leave then it would be to talk my way out of the situation. I’m not a slut, I’m a TIME-SAVER.” - Margaret Cho ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2004, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mercy-sex/275859/47 "2004-11-22T15:59:01Z")
I’ve only heard the term “grudge fuck” once before this thread and it was from a complete pig of a dorm roommate. He couldn’t understand that I didn’t want to screw my very pretty acquaintance. I said I didn’t really have much respect for her sexual habits rather keep her as just a friend. So he asked, “Well why don’t you grudge-fuck her?” The way he said it made my skin crawl. As for “Sympathy tail” as I’ve heard of it, it would be worse for me if I found out that she screwed me out of pity rather than real lust. ---
**Author:** ![Indygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Indygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indygrrl)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2004, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mercy-sex/275859/48 "2004-11-22T16:51:37Z")
Haha, I’ve done the grudge-fuck thing and the sympathy-fuck thing, although alcohol is usually involved in those circumstances. I’m so glad not to be single anymore. I don’t know how to behave. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2004, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mercy-sex/275859/49 "2004-11-22T17:22:16Z")
> [@badmana](#): > > Heh, I’m sure I’ve received my share of this sort of sex. We usually don’t argue though. It’s more like, I start grabbing things, she realizes that if she wants to watch uninterupted TV she’s going to have to get “rid” of me. _“Love… Soft as an easy chair…”_ ---
**Author:** ![ioioio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ioioio/32/316_2.png) [@ioioio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ioioio)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2004, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mercy-sex/275859/50 "2004-11-22T18:59:10Z")
> [@laina\_f](#): > > What is it called when you don’t really feel like having sex, but you do because it’s less trouble to just do it than to argue about it? I was going for “marriage”. **WhyNot** was correct. **MannyL** , rape? I don’t see that at all. Who’s raping whom? **badmana** , you’ve obviously been there (made me laugh). **matt\_mcl** , Margaret has obviously been there too. ---
**Author:** ![BurnMeUp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@BurnMeUp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BurnMeUp)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2004, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mercy-sex/275859/51 "2004-11-22T23:13:39Z")
I had this friend, a real doofus. I mean this guy was pretty dorky and pathetic and socially retarded. But overall a goiod guy until he went nuts. Anyway at one point he was in the army and came home for like 2 weeks. I was dating a girl at the time and he wanted me to hook him up with someone. So i hooked him up with this other girtl I was acquainted with. She had always been interested in me but i never really wanted to date her or anything. Well we went out… he did his typical boneheaded thing trying to impress her or look cool. We went our separate ways and the next day he called me to say that they had their fling and he liked her a lot. I talked to her later and she said she was “doing her part for the men in uniform” and that it was a pity-fuck. I never talked to her much after that ---
**Author:** ![devilsknew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4da419/32.png) [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2004, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mercy-sex/275859/52 "2004-11-23T00:30:28Z")
I think I’ve had “What the hell, I’ll give this pathetic lump a lil’ sumpin because I’m horny too” sex. Which really probably is a pity fuck. It was only after long ardent pursuit on my part and I actually wanted the whole deal…relationship, kids, etc… I’ll take what I can get though. No shame, a few regrets. ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2004, 9:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mercy-sex/275859/53 "2004-11-23T09:48:53Z")
Grudge fuck - I don’t know about people having sex with people they hate, but I have a close female friend who’s had the other kind of grudge fuck several times – having sex with someone to spite someone else. She’s a great friend and a terrible lover, and thankfully we’ve never crossed that line. Pity fuck - Haven’t quite seen examples of this, per se. Courtesy fuck - My most meaningful relationship right now started out with a courtesy fuck. I had no intentions to have sex with her – one second we were making out and it seemed like the next second we were naked on the bed. (I was always a little skeptical about whether things really ever worked out this way, until I did it that way myself.) At that point I analyzed my situation (it’s notable that, as one might expect, I was tripping face at the time) and decided: I’m on my bed, naked, with a girl who’s mildly attractive and a good friend; the next logical step, it seemed, was to insert slot A into slot B. So we did, and I figured it’d be a one-time thing, but it turned out to be a surprisingly fulfilling and meaningful relationship. “Technically” friends-with-benefits, but in reality I think it’s a fair bit more to both of us. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mercy-sex/275859.md?page=2)