# Meredith Baxter is gay? Who gives a fuck??? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 3, 2009, 11:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/meredith-baxter-is-gay-who-gives-a-fuck/519832 "2009-12-03T11:36:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Merijeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@Merijeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merijeek)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/meredith-baxter-is-gay-who-gives-a-fuck/519832/21 "2009-12-03T16:34:11Z")
> [@Cosmic Relief](#): > > Because she starred on a show called “Family Ties” it proves that every suburban housewife is probably a closeted lesbian. And I think we can all agree that’s pretty big news. And HOT! Every sitcom just because speculation about who was visiting mom just before the kids got home. -Joe ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/meredith-baxter-is-gay-who-gives-a-fuck/519832/22 "2009-12-03T16:48:00Z")
> [@lissener](#): > > Meredith Baxter is TV royalty. She was a household name in the 70s. And 80’s. And maybe not a household name, but she was HOT on Petticoat Junction in the 60’s. She’s not Z-list - just semi-retired from show biz. For me it was a big deal. Not because being gay is intrinsically point-and-gawk-worthy, but she never gave off any gay vibe. I’d have been equally interested if Meredith Baxter announced yesterday she was the secretive recluse CEO of Bio-war Weapons, Inc., or she’d been an operative in getting the Iranian hostages freed. ---
**Author:** ![Labrador\_Deceiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Labrador\_Deceiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labrador_Deceiver)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/meredith-baxter-is-gay-who-gives-a-fuck/519832/23 "2009-12-03T16:49:10Z")
> [@lissener](#): > > Then she was hiding it from herself. Other people could speak to that a lot better than I could, but I tend to agree. Just reporting what she is saying to the press. ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/meredith-baxter-is-gay-who-gives-a-fuck/519832/24 "2009-12-03T16:50:15Z")
_Petticoat Junction_? Cite? ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/meredith-baxter-is-gay-who-gives-a-fuck/519832/25 "2009-12-03T16:52:06Z")
> [@bup](#): > > And 80’s. And maybe not a household name, but she was HOT on Petticoat Junction in the 60’s. And as the Penguin in the 60s “Batman” series. I also liked her “I’m a Lipton Iced Tea _Lover_!” commercials. ---
**Author:** ![orderfire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/orderfire/32/10908_2.png) [@orderfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/orderfire)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/meredith-baxter-is-gay-who-gives-a-fuck/519832/26 "2009-12-03T16:54:23Z")
If nothing else it will shoot her to the top of the list of potential competitors for the upcoming must-see season of Dancing with the Stars. ---
**Author:** ![spifflog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@spifflog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spifflog)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/meredith-baxter-is-gay-who-gives-a-fuck/519832/27 "2009-12-03T16:55:30Z")
Chalk me up to “who gives a flying crap.” Seems to me it’s still “I’m swimming in lake me.” Why does she think we care who she’s sleeping with? ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/meredith-baxter-is-gay-who-gives-a-fuck/519832/28 "2009-12-03T17:40:04Z")
You know, as a matter of general principle, i sort of understand the OP’s position. It would indeed be awesome if we had arrived at the stage where, truly, no-one gave a flying fuck whether a person was straight, bi, gay, trans, or whatever. When our society arrives at the point where people truly do not treat you differently because of your sexuality, it will be a great day. But we aren’t there yet. As long as there are still people argue that gays don’t deserve the same rights as everyone else, who see every homosexual man as a child predator, who think queers can be “cured,” and who would never vote for a gay politician no matter how much they agreed with his or her policies, this is going to be an issue. Admittedly, coming out in Hollywood is not exactly a startling decision these days, but, as others have pointed out, Baxter was a huge figure in many Americans’ homes over the course of her career, and she spent much of that career playing characters that fit the heteronormative assumptions of American mainstream culture. > [@Cubsfan](#): > > Is being gay still so “taboo” and “out there” that a fucking Z-list celebrity like Meredith Baxter coming out is front page news??? Well, i do agree that it probably shouldn’t be front page news. Are you angry that it knocked more important stories, like [Tiger Woods’ car crash](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=11825414#post11825414) or the White House party crashers from the top of your browser window? > [@Cubsfan](#): > > I could see it being news if some A-list sex-symbol who was in the public eye , like Brad Pitt, Angelina etc…,came out playing for the other team only because they are known for their sex appeal … Actually, if and when homosexuality truly does lose its taboo status and become just another part of society, one of the signs might be that even a sex symbol like Pitt or Jolie being gay would not be news. ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/meredith-baxter-is-gay-who-gives-a-fuck/519832/29 "2009-12-03T17:41:57Z")
> [@Kyla](#): > > Am I crazy, or is Angelina Jolie not openly bisexual? She’s openly an attention whore, is what she is. ---
**Author:** ![whole\_bean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/96bed5/32.png) [@whole\_bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whole_bean)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/meredith-baxter-is-gay-who-gives-a-fuck/519832/30 "2009-12-03T17:56:27Z")
> [@mhendo](#): > > You know, as a matter of general principle, i sort of understand the OP’s position. It would indeed be awesome if we had arrived at the stage where, truly, no-one gave a flying fuck whether a person was straight, bi, gay, trans, or whatever. When our society arrives at the point where people truly do not treat you differently because of your sexuality, it will be a great day. > > But we aren’t there yet. > > As long as there are still people argue that gays don’t deserve the same rights as everyone else, who see every homosexual man as a child predator, who think queers can be “cured,” and who would never vote for a gay politician no matter how much they agreed with his or her policies, this is going to be an issue. > > Admittedly, coming out in Hollywood is not exactly a startling decision these days, but, as others have pointed out, Baxter was a huge figure in many Americans’ homes over the course of her career, and she spent much of that career playing characters that fit the heteronormative assumptions of American mainstream culture.Well, i do agree that it probably shouldn’t be front page news. I saw the Today segment live. When Lauer indicated that Baxter had an announcement and the two fumbled to cut to the chase, I turned to my wife and said, “She’s gay.” Seconds later, confirmation arrived. My initial response was: unremarkable news from an irrelevant person (I grew up watching _Family Ties_ and remember the breast cancer movie but nothing before that). But what you’ve written makes sense. I guess I am a bit insulated. I live in an incredibaly gay-friendly town (situated in a not so gay-friendly part of the country). I have gay friends, gay neighbors, and gay coworkers. Someone’s sexuality to me is unremarkable. It takes something like this to remind me that many gays and lesbians, for whatever reason, cannot be completely open with everyone they know and love. It’s sad and it will be a great day when this announcement is greated by everyone with the same surprise as a revelation of left-handedness or lactose intollerance. > [@mhendo](#): > > Are you angry that it knocked more important stories, like [Tiger Woods’ car crash](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=11825414#post11825414) nit pick - I think the multiple affairs are what’s giving that story legs. ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/meredith-baxter-is-gay-who-gives-a-fuck/519832/31 "2009-12-03T18:00:39Z")
> [@whole\_bean](#): > > nit pick - I think the multiple affairs are what’s giving that story legs. You’re probably right, but, to take on the OP’s perspective for a moment, why should i care any more about Tiger Woods’ infidelity than about Meredith Baxter’s sexuality? I don’t really consider what Woods does in his private life to be news. ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/meredith-baxter-is-gay-who-gives-a-fuck/519832/32 "2009-12-03T18:30:32Z")
> [@mhendo](#): > > You’re probably right, but, to take on the OP’s perspective for a moment, why should i care any more about Tiger Woods’ infidelity than about Meredith Baxter’s sexuality? I don’t really consider what Woods does in his private life to be news. You’re right, you shouldn’t. Unfortunately, many folks do care. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/meredith-baxter-is-gay-who-gives-a-fuck/519832/33 "2009-12-03T18:52:06Z")
Because every time a celebrity that people consider “normal” comes out, it does just a little bit more to demystify homosexuality and break down stereotypes. You may not personally care that she’s a lesbian. I don’t personally care either, but I care about the unique struggles that homosexuals have to deal with. Meredith Baxter coming out may only be a baby step towards achieving acceptance and equality, but even baby steps help. It becomes harder and harder to maintain the fiction that lesbians all have crew cuts and wear combat boots when it turns out that Elise Keaton is a big ol’ dyke. And remember–for those of you who are on the young side, you probably just don’t _get_ how big of a deal Family Ties was and the cultural imact that it had. (I’m too young to remember Bridget Loves Bernie myself.) And as **tumbleddown** said, it was a family-friendly show, and given that it was on in the days before there was a lot of original programming on cable, it was watched by a big percentage of the population. > [@lissener](#): > > Also, the “Who gives a fuck???” of the OP is oddly refreshing. 20 years ago, even a “Z list” celebrity coming out the closet would’ve been HUGE news. The fact that we’ve gotten to the point where a solipsistic teenager doesn’t give a fuck is progress of a kind. I guess. I agree. > [@bup](#): > > For me it was a big deal. Not because being gay is intrinsically point-and-gawk-worthy, but she never gave off any gay vibe. And her coming out helps fight the idea that all gay people give off a gay vibe. It calls into question the common assertion that people make that they don’t know any homosexuals. > [@Justin\_Bailey](#): > > Honestly, nothing else needs to be said on the subject ever. You either shouldn’t give a fuck or you should walk around with the words “I am a bigot” tattooed on your forehead. Yes, a lot more needs to be said on the subject. And there’s a big middle ground between “I don’t give a fuck” and “I’m a bigot.” What about all the people who are rethinking their own attitudes about homosexuality? Why dismiss them as bigots instead of appreciating their efforts? I had the interesting experience of attending my friend’s family reunion with her and her wife, who had been attending the annual reunion for years. Note that my friend never announced that she was a lesbian, but over the course of her adult life just started living more and more openly. As she put it, “I never actually told my parents that I was a lesbian. I just stopped de-dyke-ifying my apartment before they came over. They’re not stupid.” Anyway, it was interesting to observe the way her generally traditional and conservative relatives treated her wife and their relationship. A few people just greeted them nicely and didn’t pursue further conversation. (at least they weren’t openly rude) A few said “Wow, you two have been roommates for such a long time!” (in denial. lame) Many just treated them like any other established couple. (good) And the rest did treat them as a couple but were obviously uncomfortable with it. But at least they were trying to do what they knew was right, even if it was hard for them. Should we stamp “I’m a bigot” on their foreheads? I think for these types of people, the more people that they know who are gay, either in person or through the media, the closer they will come to not giving a fuck. They may never make it all the way there, but at least they’re getting closer, and they’re also a lot less likely to propagate bigoted attitudes. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/meredith-baxter-is-gay-who-gives-a-fuck/519832/34 "2009-12-03T18:56:03Z")
> [@mhendo](#): > > You’re probably right, but, to take on the OP’s perspective for a moment, why should i care any more about Tiger Woods’ infidelity than about Meredith Baxter’s sexuality? I don’t really consider what Woods does in his private life to be news. Because men who cheat on their wives may suffer social stigma and even violence and discrimination, but that’s because of something they’ve _done_, not something they _are_. Nobody’s out there chanting “We’re here! We’re philanderers! Get used to it!” ---
**Author:** ![maladroit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f475e1/32.png) [@maladroit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maladroit)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/meredith-baxter-is-gay-who-gives-a-fuck/519832/35 "2009-12-03T19:02:42Z")
I saw Perez Hilton on The View and he said she was living pretty openly, went on a gay cruise, pda and whatever, and he was just ‘reporting’ not ‘outing’. I agree, who really cares? I used to watch her shows so I know who she is, but I wasn’t shocked or anything. ---
**Author:** ![aldiboronti](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc348/32.png) [@aldiboronti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aldiboronti)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/meredith-baxter-is-gay-who-gives-a-fuck/519832/36 "2009-12-03T19:16:22Z")
> [@Small\_Hen](#): > > Because older celebrities coming out makes for a good human interest story. For most of us, the fact that Meredith Baxter had to hide who she was for years on end is a sad commentary on what the world was like not so long ago. Not so long ago? You don’t believe there are still celebrities who feel they have to conceal their sexuality? The world hasn’t changed that much. ---
**Author:** ![whole\_bean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/96bed5/32.png) [@whole\_bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whole_bean)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/meredith-baxter-is-gay-who-gives-a-fuck/519832/37 "2009-12-03T19:34:25Z")
It’s worth noting that the Keatons on _Family Ties_ were pretty liberal, ex-hippies (all save APK). This is not the equivalent of June Cleaver being outed. I was just getting the impression that folks were trying to portray \*Family Ties \* as being apollitical. It was not. And IMHO, Baxter hardly shirks admittedly silly lesbian sterotypes. She’s sort of man-ish, she’s got the haircut, her girlfriend is a contractor. Again, not exactly June Cleaver. ---
**Author:** ![AqualungBats5th](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6bbea6/32.png) [@AqualungBats5th](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AqualungBats5th)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/meredith-baxter-is-gay-who-gives-a-fuck/519832/38 "2009-12-03T19:43:22Z")
> [@](#): > > Not so long ago? You don’t believe there are still celebrities who feel they have to conceal their sexuality? The world hasn’t changed that much. No kidding. Does anyone actually believe that the reason there are no current A list celebs (especially male) out of the closet is that not one of them is gay? Come on. ---
**Author:** ![Justin\_Bailey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justin_bailey/32/8792_2.png) [@Justin\_Bailey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Bailey)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/meredith-baxter-is-gay-who-gives-a-fuck/519832/39 "2009-12-03T19:44:23Z")
> [@Green\_Bean](#): > > Yes, a lot more needs to be said on the subject. > > And there’s a big middle ground between “I don’t give a fuck” and “I’m a bigot.” What about all the people who are rethinking their own attitudes about homosexuality? Why dismiss them as bigots instead of appreciating their efforts? I wasn’t dismissing it, I was just saying that his statement was the best way to handle it. Every celebrity that is “outed” should just copy and paste it. But we’re going to have to disagree with how big a deal this is, because I think that “Entertainer comes out as gay” is no longer surprising or shocking, even to the less enlightened members of society. Only bigots still care. On that note… > [@aldiboronti](#): > > Not so long ago? You don’t believe there are still celebrities who feel they have to conceal their sexuality? The world hasn’t changed that much. I also think we’ve long gone past the point for an actor’s life would be ruined by being outed. A lot of gay people go into the arts. This is just accepted now. The next frontier will be an active gay athlete in one of the big four sports or NASCAR. An actor coming out as gay may affect a handful of parts they may or may not have gotten, but you can point to dozens of gay actors who have thriving careers. ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/meredith-baxter-is-gay-who-gives-a-fuck/519832/40 "2009-12-03T19:45:48Z")
> [@Small\_Hen](#): > > Because older celebrities coming out makes for a good human interest story. For most of us, the fact that Meredith Baxter had to hide who she was for years on end is a sad commentary on what the world was like not so long ago. I once watched a documentary about older adults who had hidden their sexuality for their entire lives - they weren’t even famous people, but it was a facinating watch. Throw in the “known her since childhood” aspect of a TV celebrity, and I’m not at all surprised that people would want to know Baxter’s story. A couple of points about this. First, the stories suggest that Baxter was not even sure about her own sexuality for quite a long time. She doesn’t say that her marriages were a sham or a cover for her lesbianism; it’s more that she came to discover her lesbianism later in life. Second, if [Michael Gross](http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/34257064/ns/today-today_entertainment/), who played her husband on _Family Ties_, is to be believed, this coming out was not a huge surprise to the people that knew her. Apparently she was quite open about going out with her partner in LA, and holding hands with her in public. > [@Green\_Bean](#): > > Because men who cheat on their wives may suffer social stigma and even violence and discrimination, but that’s because of something they’ve _done_, not something they _are_. > > Nobody’s out there chanting “We’re here! We’re philanderers! Get used to it!” I was never arguing that philandering has the same moral valence as homosexuality, and i’m well aware of the distinction between who you are and what you do. That still doesn’t make philandering itself a news story, and it doesn’t change my argument about news priorities. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/meredith-baxter-is-gay-who-gives-a-fuck/519832.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/meredith-baxter-is-gay-who-gives-a-fuck/519832.md?page=3)