# Mermaids: Fishy Top or Fishy Bottom? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 16, 2009, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mermaids-fishy-top-or-fishy-bottom/517822 "2009-11-16T20:40:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Taenia\_spp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b5e925/32.png) [@Taenia\_spp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taenia_spp)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2009, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mermaids-fishy-top-or-fishy-bottom/517822/1 "2009-11-16T20:40:03Z")
Hypothetical (or so I would hope): If you HAD to choose one type of mermaid/merman to mate with, which one would you choose? Nevermind the logistics of Tab A going into Slot B, but just answer the question based on your first instinct. Yes, this is a Futurama reference. šŸ™‚ ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2009, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mermaids-fishy-top-or-fishy-bottom/517822/2 "2009-11-16T20:44:59Z")
Itā€™s a not a mermaid if itā€™s a fish on top. ---
**Author:** ![Duckster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duckster/32/1244_2.png) [@Duckster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duckster)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2009, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mermaids-fishy-top-or-fishy-bottom/517822/3 "2009-11-16T21:04:56Z")
Arenā€™t women mermaids already? ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2009, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mermaids-fishy-top-or-fishy-bottom/517822/4 "2009-11-16T21:09:32Z")
**Holly** : Somehow Iā€™d imagined sheā€™d be a woman on the top and a fish on the bottom. **Cat** : No, thatā€™s the stupid way around! ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2009, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mermaids-fishy-top-or-fishy-bottom/517822/5 "2009-11-16T21:09:46Z")
The sex may not be asā€¦frictionfull, but I canā€™t stand those dead fish eyes staring at me. Bad enough having sex with your partially completed dinner only feet away. ---
**Author:** ![badbadrubberpiggy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/57b2e6/32.png) [@badbadrubberpiggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/badbadrubberpiggy)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2009, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mermaids-fishy-top-or-fishy-bottom/517822/6 "2009-11-16T21:44:18Z")
ā€œWhy couldnā€™t she be the other kind of mermaid, with the fish part on the top and the lady part on the bottom!ā€ Fishy part on the bottom. Though fishy part on the top would look funnier. ---
**Author:** ![Yeticus\_Rex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/a698b9/32.png) [@Yeticus\_Rex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yeticus_Rex)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2009, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mermaids-fishy-top-or-fishy-bottom/517822/7 "2009-11-16T22:03:08Z")
Fishy bottom, human topā€¦I want to hear some hot talk during sex, not bubble noises. Hey, at least where not talking about sex with a guy named Seth Brundle. ---
**Author:** ![Gorsnak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gorsnak/32/7587_2.png) [@Gorsnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorsnak)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2009, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mermaids-fishy-top-or-fishy-bottom/517822/8 "2009-11-16T23:23:03Z")
[![]( " - YouTube") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jXPzMXN3hAg) ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2009, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mermaids-fishy-top-or-fishy-bottom/517822/9 "2009-11-16T23:45:13Z")
> [@Inigo\_Montoya](#): > > **Holly** : Somehow Iā€™d imagined sheā€™d be a woman on the top and a fish on the bottom. > **Cat** : No, thatā€™s the stupid way around! Smeg! I came in here to make that quoteā€¦ Engage JealousPoutyModeā€¦ [Cat; Thatā€™s the stupid way around](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zc20oTkd1S4) ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2009, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mermaids-fishy-top-or-fishy-bottom/517822/10 "2009-11-16T23:50:10Z")
I defer any cool-points for my above Red Dwarf reference to the obviously more sci-fi-minded **MacTech** who hails from the unfashionable sector ZZ9 plural Z Alpha. šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![Chopper9760](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/cdc98d/32.png) [@Chopper9760](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chopper9760)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2009, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mermaids-fishy-top-or-fishy-bottom/517822/11 "2009-11-17T00:19:47Z")
Thread title makes me laugh every time I see it so, thanks. _sniggers_ _fishy bottom_ ---
**Author:** ![Taenia\_spp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b5e925/32.png) [@Taenia\_spp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taenia_spp)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2009, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mermaids-fishy-top-or-fishy-bottom/517822/12 "2009-11-17T00:45:43Z")
**Chopper9760** : šŸ™‚ **Gorsnak** : I dunno, I canā€™t make heads or tails out of that song. ---
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2009, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mermaids-fishy-top-or-fishy-bottom/517822/13 "2009-11-17T01:39:12Z")
Gorsnak beat me to it. ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2009, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mermaids-fishy-top-or-fishy-bottom/517822/14 "2009-11-17T01:55:18Z")
> [@Inigo\_Montoya](#): > > I defer any cool-points for my above Red Dwarf reference to the obviously more sci-fi-minded **MacTech** who hails from the unfashionable sector ZZ9 plural Z Alpha. šŸ˜ƒ Aww, but Iā€™m just 'zis guy, you know? šŸ˜‰ ---
**Author:** ![Grumman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/43a26b/32.png) [@Grumman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grumman)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2009, 10:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mermaids-fishy-top-or-fishy-bottom/517822/15 "2009-11-17T10:27:18Z")
I voted for human top half. I would easily be able to interact a normal mermaid as a person, even though she has a tail. A creature with a fish brain, fish face, and no hands would be completely alien. ---
**Author:** ![ColdPhoenix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6bbea6/32.png) [@ColdPhoenix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ColdPhoenix)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2009, 11:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mermaids-fishy-top-or-fishy-bottom/517822/16 "2009-11-17T11:09:46Z")
Looks like Iā€™m in the minority. Weā€™re talking about mating here. You donā€™t have to take them out to dinner or marry them. You just have to mate with them, once hopefully. Choose fishy top and go doggy style. You can imagine theyā€™re just wearing the top half of a fancy dress costume. ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2009, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mermaids-fishy-top-or-fishy-bottom/517822/17 "2009-11-17T12:21:47Z")
> [@ColdPhoenix](#): > > Choose fishy top and go doggy style. You can imagine theyā€™re just wearing the top half of a fancy dress costume. Yeah, but I think the strange rasping sound being made through your dateā€™s gills might end up being a real turn-off. Fishy bottom all the way. ---
**Author:** ![Omniscient](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omniscient/32/3290_2.png) [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2009, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mermaids-fishy-top-or-fishy-bottom/517822/18 "2009-11-17T12:39:33Z")
The things you could do with a large mouthed bassā€¦ ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2009, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mermaids-fishy-top-or-fishy-bottom/517822/19 "2009-11-17T12:53:43Z")
> [@ColdPhoenix](#): > > You donā€™t have to take them out to dinner . . . Yeah, but sheā€™d be a real cheap date. Just sprinkle a little food on her ceiling. ---
**Author:** ![dhkendall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9adbd/32.png) [@dhkendall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dhkendall)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2009, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mermaids-fishy-top-or-fishy-bottom/517822/20 "2009-11-17T13:04:19Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > Yeah, but sheā€™d be a real cheap date. Just sprinkle a little food on her ceiling. OK, this made me LOL. šŸ˜ƒ > [@ColdPhoenix](#): > > Looks like Iā€™m in the minority. > > Weā€™re talking about mating here. You donā€™t have to take them out to dinner or marry them. You just have to mate with them, once hopefully. Ah, I was thining the same as you until I noticed in the OP: > [@Taenia\_spp](#): > > Nevermind the logistics of Tab A going into Slot B That tells me that mating would be OK no matter the configuration. I think even doggy style itā€™d be too much of a turnoff to get Mr. Happy to work enough to necessitate mating. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mermaids-fishy-top-or-fishy-bottom/517822.md?page=2)