# Mermaids: Fishy Top or Fishy Bottom? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 16, 2009, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mermaids-fishy-top-or-fishy-bottom/517822 "2009-11-16T20:40:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2009, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mermaids-fishy-top-or-fishy-bottom/517822/21 "2009-11-17T13:07:47Z")
There was a really stupid episode of _Night Gallery_ that had this in it – the mermaid of a man’s dreams changed from fishy bottom to fish top. She dove into the sea and swam away before anything happened, though **Lindeman’s Catch** : [http://www.nightgallery.net/season2c.html](http://www.nightgallery.net/season2c.html) > **["Night Gallery" Lindemann's Catch/A Feast of Blood/The Late Mr. Peddington...](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0660789/reference)** > > "Night Gallery" Lindemann's Catch/A Feast of Blood/The Late Mr. Peddington (TV Episode 1972) Reference View The episode on Hulu: [http://www.hulu.com/watch/58791/night-gallery-lindemans-catcha-feast-of-bloodthe-late-mr-peddington](http://www.hulu.com/watch/58791/night-gallery-lindemans-catcha-feast-of-bloodthe-late-mr-peddington) ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2009, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mermaids-fishy-top-or-fishy-bottom/517822/22 "2009-11-17T14:49:05Z")
> [@Grumman](#): > > I voted for human top half. I would easily be able to interact a normal mermaid as a person, even though she has a tail. A creature with a fish brain, fish face, and no hands would be completely alien. I just get this eerie premonition—probably from seeing too many _Outer Limits_ episodes, as I never did see “Night Gallery”—of a scenario where the fishead-maid turns out to have a beautiful voice and a cultured, fascinating personality, and the conventional mermaid turns out to have a totally feral, subhuman mind and a blinding drive to kill with tooth and claw. :smack: Televised science fiction has made me a very optimistic person. ---
**Author:** ![Grumman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/43a26b/32.png) [@Grumman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grumman)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2009, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mermaids-fishy-top-or-fishy-bottom/517822/23 "2009-11-17T14:52:43Z")
> [@ColdPhoenix](#): > > We’re talking about mating here. You don’t have to take them out to dinner or marry them. You just have to mate with them, once hopefully. Yes, but my revulsion at mating with the reverse-mermaid would be at least as bad as any revulsion at the physical aspect of mating with a normal mermaid. ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2009, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mermaids-fishy-top-or-fishy-bottom/517822/24 "2009-11-17T14:55:12Z")
With a fish top, I doubt I could avoid vomitting, let alone get it up. Imagine those big, glassy eyes darking around as the big, oily lips puff in and out. BBBLLLEE… ---
**Author:** ![ColdPhoenix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6bbea6/32.png) [@ColdPhoenix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ColdPhoenix)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2009, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mermaids-fishy-top-or-fishy-bottom/517822/25 "2009-11-17T15:13:11Z")
The only part of them you’ll have to touch will be the bottom half so why not have that part human? If you’re really that squeamish you could drap a sheet over their top half while they’re bent over. I don’t want to be touching slimy scales when I’m getting my groove on. ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2009, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mermaids-fishy-top-or-fishy-bottom/517822/26 "2009-11-17T15:26:59Z")
Human top, and ask for oral. 😉 Of course reciprocation would be a trifle difficult … 😃 ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2009, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mermaids-fishy-top-or-fishy-bottom/517822/27 "2009-11-17T16:03:31Z")
This is why Innsmouth women have such a hard time finding dates… ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2009, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mermaids-fishy-top-or-fishy-bottom/517822/28 "2009-11-17T16:50:39Z")
I think the OP kind of shanked it with “never mind the mechanics”. The Slot B stuff is all-important - if it’s scaly, there’s no way I’m putting my junk in it. On the other hand, I’m also not nailing anything with a fish for a head. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2009, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mermaids-fishy-top-or-fishy-bottom/517822/29 "2009-11-17T17:12:53Z")
> [@Malthus](#): > > Human top, and ask for oral. 😉 > > Of course reciprocation would be a trifle difficult … 😃 Win-win! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2009, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mermaids-fishy-top-or-fishy-bottom/517822/30 "2009-11-17T18:15:00Z")
Quoth the late Nipsey Russell: > [@](#): > > I just saw a move about a mermaid. > Didn’t like it, and I’ll tell you why: > There’s not enough woman to make love to, > and too much fish to fry! ---
**Author:** ![Pulp\_Friction](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/2acd7d/32.png) [@Pulp\_Friction](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pulp_Friction)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2009, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mermaids-fishy-top-or-fishy-bottom/517822/31 "2009-11-17T18:25:16Z")
Left half fishy, right half woman. And do her standing up, in a doorway. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2009, 9:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mermaids-fishy-top-or-fishy-bottom/517822/32 "2009-11-18T09:17:15Z")
Who cares really, I’m sure the bit that matters will smell like fish. ---
**Author:** ![Baby\_Driver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@Baby\_Driver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baby_Driver)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2009, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mermaids-fishy-top-or-fishy-bottom/517822/33 "2009-11-18T18:37:13Z")
I voted human top, fish bottom, because I’d have trouble enduring a huge fish face looming over me (if we’re talking coitus here). I figure if the top half an attractive enough merman, I could focus on that and can imagine the bottom part is some sort of bizarre sex toy. On the other hand, if we’re doing it doggy style and I don’t have to look, then I could probably deal with fish top, human bottom. ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2009, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mermaids-fishy-top-or-fishy-bottom/517822/34 "2009-11-18T20:23:50Z")
Neither. The fish/human division is down the middle. . ---
**Author:** ![Serenata67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/serenata67/32/10646_2.png) [@Serenata67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Serenata67)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mermaids-fishy-top-or-fishy-bottom/517822/35 "2009-11-20T02:49:48Z")
> [@Chopper9760](#): > > Thread title makes me laugh every time I see it so, thanks. > > _sniggers_ _fishy bottom_ I snerked at the “fishy bottom” thought, too. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mermaids-fishy-top-or-fishy-bottom/517822.md?page=1)