# Merry Christmas everyone! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 24, 2008, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/merry-christmas-everyone/478606 "2008-12-24T23:50:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2008, 11:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/merry-christmas-everyone/478606/21 "2008-12-25T11:25:29Z")
Merry Christmas! May you experience safe and comfortable times with loved ones. May your roast turkeys not burn and may your family members annoy you just a little bit less than usual today. And for the Christians out there, may this day remind you that faith in God’s love will sustain you through the most difficult of circumstances, even if that circumstance is bearing a child out of wedlock in the slums of Jerusalem. ---
**Author:** ![PapSett](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@PapSett](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PapSett)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2008, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/merry-christmas-everyone/478606/22 "2008-12-25T14:03:41Z")
Merry Christmas you guys. I truly enjoy the time I spend here on the Dope and would love to meet y’all in person. You make me smile. I hope that all youe wishes come true and you are surrounded by friends and family, laughter and love. Me? I’ll just go hug my dogs and cats now. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2008, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/merry-christmas-everyone/478606/23 "2008-12-25T14:34:01Z")
No matter what your beliefs, it’s nice to have life pause a bit for reflection and projection. So have a happy and healthy…WHAT-ever. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2008, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/merry-christmas-everyone/478606/24 "2008-12-25T15:32:03Z")
Happy holidays to you all! May each of you get a massively sexy smooch under the mistletoe. ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2008, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/merry-christmas-everyone/478606/25 "2008-12-25T16:13:25Z")
It’s the day where everyone gets to be an honorary Christian and celebrate. Get high on that temporary dopamine rush of getting new crap and relish it. Embrace the cold weather and slushy snow. Eat some gross dessert your great aunt made (or at least pretend to, then clandestinely scrape it into the trash). Burn some wood in the fireplace, or turn on that cable channel that shows fire burning while tirelessly playing those xmas tunes you’ve already heard 1,000 times before — ahh, the nostalgia has you. See if you can remember all eight reindeer names. Play with one of the kids toys — you know you want to. And, at the very least, try to find some way to enjoy yourself… **Merry Christmas, everybody.** ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2008, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/merry-christmas-everyone/478606/26 "2008-12-25T16:17:21Z")
Best holiday moment: while shopping yesterday, saw Mrs. Claus, apparently on her break, buying a latte. My family had the dinner-and-tree bit last night, so this morning we are doing, as my mother festively described it last night, “sweet f.a.” For me, this means sitting around at home, listening to the Brandenburg Concerti, contemplating making a bleu cheese omelette, and administering [psychoactive substances](http://www.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catnip)to the cats. Tonight, going to have the second of three Christmas dinners, this one chez the family-in-law-in-law-to-be, **bro\_mcl** ’s fiancée’s family. Can you use nested '-in-law’s like that? I hope so, otherwise there will be a whole set of people I don’t have words for. **bro\_mcl** ’s fiancée’s brother’s wife’s mother once told my mother, “When they get married, there’s a word in Yiddish for the relationship between you and me.” (My mother and I were talking about what would happen if I one day helped a friend conceive, and we decided that the Yiddish word for the baby of the lesbian couple who received donor sperm from the brother of the husband of the sister of the husband of your daughter is probably _oy gevalt_.) ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2008, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/merry-christmas-everyone/478606/27 "2008-12-25T16:48:54Z")
Merry Christmas, one and all, and a Happy New Year to all my fellow Dopers! ---
**Author:** ![Lust4Life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecc23a/32.png) [@Lust4Life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lust4Life)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2008, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/merry-christmas-everyone/478606/28 "2008-12-25T17:46:25Z")
I curse you all,my master Lucifer(the Morning Star)has been ordered by HE WHO MUST BE SERVED,HE that is god amongst gods,HE that wears the red robe of lust with the white cuffs of evil,HE that wears the long white beard of degeneracy,you will all sink into the hell of Fox News and an eternity of watching Coranation Street. Santa wills it . You’re doomed. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2008, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/merry-christmas-everyone/478606/29 "2008-12-25T19:35:52Z")
Merry Christmas everybody! From cloudy but much warmer Calgary. Lacy things – the wife is missin’, Didn’t ask – her permission, I’m wearin’ her clothes, Her silk pantyhose, Walkin’ 'round in women’s underwear. In the store – there’s a teddy, Little straps – like spaghetti, It holds me so tight, Like handcuffs at night, Walkin’ 'round in women’s underwear. In the office there’s a guy named Melvin, He pretends that I am Murphy Brown. He’ll say, “Are you ready?” I’ll say,“Whoa, Man!” “Let’s wait until our wives are out of town!” Later on, if you wanna, We can dress – like Madonna, Put on some eyeshade, And join the parade, Walkin’ 'round in women’s underwear! Lacy things… missin’, Didn’t ask… permission, Wearin’ her clothes, Her silk pantyhose, Walkin’ ‘round in women’s underwear, Walkin’ ‘round in women’s underwear, Walkin’ 'round in women’s underwear! ETA: I think this one is in public domain at this point (fingers crossed). ---
**Author:** ![I\_Have\_Hippos\_In\_My\_Garden](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/4491bb/32.png) [@I\_Have\_Hippos\_In\_My\_Garden](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_Have_Hippos_In_My_Garden)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2008, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/merry-christmas-everyone/478606/30 "2008-12-25T19:56:06Z")
Merry Christmas everyone!! Is anyone else now completely and utterly stuffed?! ---
**Author:** ![dogbutler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dogbutler/32/428_2.png) [@dogbutler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dogbutler)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2008, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/merry-christmas-everyone/478606/31 "2008-12-25T20:00:24Z")
Merry Christmas to all! > [@I\_Have\_Hippos\_In\_My\_Garden](#): > > Merry Christmas everyone!! > > Is anyone else now completely and utterly stuffed?! I’ve barely started pigging. ---
**Author:** ![I\_Have\_Hippos\_In\_My\_Garden](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/4491bb/32.png) [@I\_Have\_Hippos\_In\_My\_Garden](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_Have_Hippos_In_My_Garden)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2008, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/merry-christmas-everyone/478606/32 "2008-12-25T20:01:24Z")
> [@](#): > > I’ve barely started pigging Lol, why what time is it for you?! ---
**Author:** ![dogbutler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dogbutler/32/428_2.png) [@dogbutler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dogbutler)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2008, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/merry-christmas-everyone/478606/33 "2008-12-25T21:15:13Z")
> [@I\_Have\_Hippos\_In\_My\_Garden](#): > > Lol, why what time is it for you?! I usually eat my holiday feat around 5:00. ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2008, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/merry-christmas-everyone/478606/34 "2008-12-25T21:16:32Z")
Merry Christmas, and may the blessings of the new year fall upon you. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2008, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/merry-christmas-everyone/478606/35 "2008-12-26T00:54:09Z")
Me: “The pie will be okay. I’ll just put tinfoil around the edges.” Me again: “I’m putting the green beans in. I just have to put tinfoil around the edges.” Mr. Rilch: “The scalloped potatoes are kind of burnt.” Me: “Yeah, I should have put tinfoil around the edges.” BIL: “The economy is forked, and here’s why.” Mr. Rilch: “Maybe Obama can put tinfoil around the edges.” You may have had to be there. ---
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2008, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/merry-christmas-everyone/478606/36 "2008-12-26T02:18:41Z")
Oh my god. I just enraged more people on Christmas than I think I have ever enraged in a single place at any time previously, anywhere. A tip for the desperate and/or clueless: do not attempt to sneak in and fill take-out buckets at a holiday buffet line where hundreds of people have already been standing in line for upwards of 45 minutes waiting to get food and a table, unless you have absolutely no other good choice at the time. In my meager defense, I had no other good choice at the time, as my other supper plans had fallen through rather abruptly. Also, I was filling a dinner bucket for my Mom as well as for myself, and I couldn’t very well let my own mother go hungry on Christmas day, now could I? Of course not. So, I basically lied my ass off on Christmas, shoving my way blatantly past all the decent hardworking families with their hungry children, and improvising transparently false excuses on the fly. I daresay not a single person fell for my feeble assertions of priority, judging by the stolid wall of dangerously hostile glares and muttered imprecations precipitated by my fraud. Frankly there was not a lot of Christmas spirit evident on their end either. It was a pretty ugly scene all around. Never again. In summary: it appears that I need to learn how to cook a holiday meal, and I only have a year in which to do it. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2008, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/merry-christmas-everyone/478606/37 "2008-12-26T02:51:52Z")
Here’s hoping everyone had the hap-hap-happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny-fucking-Kaye! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![thirdwarning](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecccb3/32.png) [@thirdwarning](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thirdwarning)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2008, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/merry-christmas-everyone/478606/38 "2008-12-26T03:39:37Z")
Merry Christmas, everyone, from the southern end of MetroChi. I hope your Christmas was as good as the one we had here. And when the New Year gets here, I hope it’s as good for all of you as you want it to be. Or better. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2008, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/merry-christmas-everyone/478606/39 "2008-12-26T03:43:45Z")
Merry Christmas to all! Boxing Day over here now. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2008, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/merry-christmas-everyone/478606/40 "2008-12-26T04:15:46Z")
**% % % % % % % % % % % % % % % % % % % % % % %** Merry Christmas and Happy Chanukah to all. T T T T T T T T T T T T T T T T T T T T T T T T [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/merry-christmas-everyone/478606.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/merry-christmas-everyone/478606.md?page=3)