# Merry Rantmas! (December Mini-rants) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 1, 2017, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/merry-rantmas-december-mini-rants/803249 "2017-12-01T14:59:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 10
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2017, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/merry-rantmas-december-mini-rants/803249/181 "2017-12-13T21:10:35Z")
I was called in for jury duty today. Its my birthday tomorrow and my plans included sleeping in late, pajamas, mimosas, books and critters (both 2 legged and 4 legged). As it happened, I didn’t get picked for jury duty today because nobody got picked due to a medical emergency. So, tomorrow morning, I am expected to be there to go through the selection process that didn’t get finished today. Do you think anyone would mind if I brought my comfort cat in with me tomorrow? ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2017, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/merry-rantmas-december-mini-rants/803249/182 "2017-12-13T21:11:30Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > Allow me to teach you some Navarrese Spanish: _dar capote (a alguien)_. Lit. “to give a small cloak (to someone)”; in this case, the cloak refers to a cover on a plate. > > It means to start eating at the agreed-upon time, and whomever was late can’t complain. If they want to start at the same time as everybody else, all they have to do is be on time. That way people who can’t calculate time or who actually and for once have a legit excuse don’t make everybody with a Swiss-watch stomach go into the low-sugar GRRRRs. Brilliant! ---
**Author:** ![Merneith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/57b2e6/32.png) [@Merneith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merneith)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2017, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/merry-rantmas-december-mini-rants/803249/183 "2017-12-13T21:11:39Z")
Politics and gin will be the death of me. If gravity doesn’t get me first, I mean. ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2017, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/merry-rantmas-december-mini-rants/803249/184 "2017-12-13T21:29:28Z")
> [@flatlined](#): > > I was called in for jury duty today. Its my birthday tomorrow and my plans included sleeping in late, pajamas, mimosas, books and critters (both 2 legged and 4 legged). As it happened, I didn’t get picked for jury duty today because nobody got picked due to a medical emergency. So, tomorrow morning, I am expected to be there to go through the selection process that didn’t get finished today. > > Do you think anyone would mind if I brought my comfort cat in with me tomorrow? Dang. You got shafted on that one. Just get the kitty a vest that says “service animal” and take him/her with you. What could possibly go wrong? ---
**Author:** ![eulalia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eulalia/32/457_2.png) [@eulalia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eulalia)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2017, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/merry-rantmas-december-mini-rants/803249/185 "2017-12-13T22:45:04Z")
> [@flatlined](#): > > I was called in for jury duty today. Its my birthday tomorrow and my plans included sleeping in late, pajamas, mimosas, books and critters (both 2 legged and 4 legged). As it happened, I didn’t get picked for jury duty today because nobody got picked due to a medical emergency. So, tomorrow morning, I am expected to be there to go through the selection process that didn’t get finished today. > > Do you think anyone would mind if I brought my comfort cat in with me tomorrow? I don’t think your cat would like court much. I just got done with being a juror on a two-week-long criminal case. That was interesting. I had a really hard time with the getting up early part, as I’m a night owl. ---
**Author:** ![russian\_heel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f05b48/32.png) [@russian\_heel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/russian_heel)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2017, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/merry-rantmas-december-mini-rants/803249/186 "2017-12-14T01:42:47Z")
New rule: if you go outside to smoke and aren’t back in 10 minutes you lose your bar seat. No more hogging a bar seat all night if your only going to use it for 15 minutes. Not that I would expect any sort of consideration or common sense from anyone that is stupid enough to smoke, but take your jacket off the chair, and stop leaning it up against the bar and let someone else sit. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk ---
**Author:** ![Thylacine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thylacine/32/1143_2.png) [@Thylacine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thylacine)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2017, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/merry-rantmas-december-mini-rants/803249/187 "2017-12-14T05:44:00Z")
If I had known that our stupid postal vote over same sex marriage was going to make it mandatory for us to marry as soon as legally possible I would have voted no. Back off everybody! P.S. you with the three ex husbands - never having married a woman does not clear the slate, if there were to be a wedding and if that wedding were to involve bridesmaids you wouldn’t get to be one. Stop planning your central role at our non existent event, you shit me. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2017, 6:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/merry-rantmas-december-mini-rants/803249/188 "2017-12-14T06:16:14Z")
Okay, I didn’t understand ANY of that… ---
**Author:** ![Thylacine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thylacine/32/1143_2.png) [@Thylacine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thylacine)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2017, 6:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/merry-rantmas-december-mini-rants/803249/189 "2017-12-14T06:46:34Z")
Sorry. Australia recently went through this expensive, divisive and unnecessary thing > **[Australian Marriage Law Postal Survey](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Australian_Marriage_Law_Postal_Survey)** > > Prime Minister of Australia > The Australian Marriage Law Postal Survey was a national survey designed to gauge support for legalising same-sex marriage in Australia. The survey was held via the postal service between 12 September and 7 November 2017. Unlike voting in elections and referendums, which is compulsory in Australia, responding to the survey was voluntary. > A survey form, instructions, and a reply-paid envelope were mailed out by the Australian Bureau of Statistics (ABS) to every pe... We queers are now allowed to marry. I am happy about that. I wept. I did not propose. I am being bombarded with questions about when we are marrying, not if, when. And the P. S. is a friend who seems addicted to all things wedding who is trying to plan a ceremony in which she stars even though we are not engaged. Traditionally only the never married can be bridesmaids, I don’t give a damn about that but did ask why she assumes she’d get that particular role given her history would generally exclude her. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2017, 7:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/merry-rantmas-december-mini-rants/803249/190 "2017-12-14T07:26:25Z")
> [@flatlined](#): > > I was called in for jury duty today. Its my birthday tomorrow and my plans included sleeping in late, pajamas, mimosas, books and critters (both 2 legged and 4 legged). As it happened, I didn’t get picked for jury duty today because nobody got picked due to a medical emergency. So, tomorrow morning, I am expected to be there to go through the selection process that didn’t get finished today. > > Do you think anyone would mind if I brought my comfort cat in with me tomorrow? **HAPPY BIRTHDAY FLATLINED!** The important question is, would the cat mind? ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2017, 7:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/merry-rantmas-december-mini-rants/803249/191 "2017-12-14T07:33:41Z")
> [@Thylacine](#): > > Sorry. Australia recently went through this expensive, divisive and unnecessary thing > [Australian Marriage Law Postal Survey - Wikipedia](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Australian_Marriage_Law_Postal_Survey) > > We queers are now allowed to marry. I am happy about that. I wept. I did not propose. I am being bombarded with questions about when we are marrying, not if, when. > > And the P. S. is a friend who seems addicted to all things wedding who is trying to plan a ceremony in which she stars even though we are not engaged. **Traditionally only the never married can be bridesmaids,** I don’t give a damn about that but did ask why she assumes she’d get that particular role given her history would generally exclude her. Huh? I distinctly recall attending my aunt’s wedding when I was about seven, along with my five brothers and one sister, and watching my mom process up the aisle as a bridesmaid. There’s also this thing called “Matron of Honor,” which may have been what your friend was gunning for. Maybe things are different in Oz. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2017, 7:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/merry-rantmas-december-mini-rants/803249/192 "2017-12-14T07:42:05Z")
Well, the terms “matron” and “maid” are kind of a hint… ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2017, 7:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/merry-rantmas-december-mini-rants/803249/193 "2017-12-14T07:45:40Z")
Yabbut, my mom was just an ordinary attendant (probably for the best, since, living 400 miles away would have made fulfilling traditional MoH duties difficult). ---
**Author:** ![Thylacine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thylacine/32/1143_2.png) [@Thylacine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thylacine)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2017, 9:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/merry-rantmas-december-mini-rants/803249/194 "2017-12-14T09:19:22Z")
Firstly, there are currently no wedding plans. There may never be wedding plans. This person believes as she has never had a same sex marriage she can be a bridesmaid at one. She wouldn’t score matron of honour on either side, not being close enough. Not that there is going to be a wedding! We don’t have to and they can’t make us. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2017, 11:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/merry-rantmas-december-mini-rants/803249/195 "2017-12-14T11:15:25Z")
> [@russian\_heel](#): > > New rule: if you go outside to smoke and aren’t back in 10 minutes you lose your bar seat. No more hogging a bar seat all night if your only going to use it for 15 minutes. Not that I would expect any sort of consideration or common sense from anyone that is stupid enough to smoke, but take your jacket off the chair, and stop leaning it up against the bar and let someone else sit. > Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk I was in a bar last weekend (Joe’s in Ligonier) where it’s still ok to smoke. I’d have been thrilled if any of the smoking majority had elected to step outside. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2017, 11:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/merry-rantmas-december-mini-rants/803249/196 "2017-12-14T11:57:49Z")
> [@Thylacine](#): > > Not that there is going to be a wedding! We don’t have to and they can’t make us. Pfaugh. You’re just saying that so you don’t have to invite us… (Ay! Not the hard things! No throwing hard things at people!) ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2017, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/merry-rantmas-december-mini-rants/803249/197 "2017-12-14T14:06:22Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > **HAPPY BIRTHDAY FLATLINED!** > > The important question is, would the cat mind? Hope you get a special dinner or something! And that your cat remembers to bring a book or a ball of yarn to court. Wait, take your “Official Service Cat” and a laser pointer! (Especially if you want to be Not Picked and asked to leave… side note: asking the prosecuting attorney tough questions accomplished that for me) ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2017, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/merry-rantmas-december-mini-rants/803249/198 "2017-12-14T15:12:52Z")
> [@digs](#): > > … > (Especially if you want to be Not Picked and asked to leave… side note: asking the prosecuting attorney tough questions accomplished that for me) I got picked for a drunk driving case. When the defense attorney asked me what I thought about the current DWI penalties, I said they’re not nearly tough enough. They should throw the book at every offender. I was out of there in a heartbeat. (I really do think that.) ---
**Author:** ![Folacin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/folacin/32/3195_2.png) [@Folacin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Folacin)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2017, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/merry-rantmas-december-mini-rants/803249/199 "2017-12-14T15:56:45Z")
> [@digs](#): > > (Especially if you want to be Not Picked and asked to leave… side note: asking the prosecuting attorney tough questions accomplished that for me) I’d just like to point out that if the world’s smartest people consistently work their way out of jury duty, then only stupid people will be on juries. This seems sub-optimal. ---
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2017, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/merry-rantmas-december-mini-rants/803249/200 "2017-12-14T16:16:52Z")
I was on a two-day assault on a police officer case once. It was pretty interesting, I thought. Don’t know why the guy took it to trial though, it was pretty cut and dried. Protip: Trying to run over a police officer with your car is probably going to be an automatic guilty verdict. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/merry-rantmas-december-mini-rants/803249.md?page=9) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/merry-rantmas-december-mini-rants/803249.md?page=11)