# Message to CNN: Fuck You, Fuck Martha Stewart!
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/message-to-cnn-fuck-you-fuck-martha-stewart/181051
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [June 11, 2003, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/message-to-cnn-fuck-you-fuck-martha-stewart/181051 "2003-06-11T05:20:36Z")
**Posts on this page:** 7
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)
#### Post date: [June 11, 2003, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/message-to-cnn-fuck-you-fuck-martha-stewart/181051/1 "2003-06-11T05:20:36Z")
It seems that ever since Martha Stewart got arrested, CNN’s been going out of their way to include references to Martha: “Coming up next on CNN: how the arrest of Martha Stewart is preventing her from designing decorative surgical masks for SARS protection!”
Now, were I the cynical type, I’d be inclined to think that the sudden spurt of coverage about Martha, and the questionable nature of the government’s case against her has something to do with the fact that CNN’s owners **T** ime **W** arner **A** OL **T** urner have a share in Martha’s fortunes (seeing as how _Martha Stewart’s Living_ is published by them). _Of course_, that can’t be the case, because _every_ news outlet is devoting, oh, at least a couple of minutes of programming every couple of _days_ to the whole thing. CNN’s obviously showing that it’s a _serious_ news organization, by defying the rest of the industry and devoting as much air time as possible to covering Martha Stewart.
I realize that this might come as a shock to the suits running T.W.A.T., but I _don’t give a shit about Martha!_ I don’t care _what_ that cow does, I’m _really, really, really, really not interested!_ I don’t care if she comes up with a festive center piece, which not only makes a delicious salad topping, a refreshing douche, and is the cure for all diseases or not!
Even if the heifer’s found guilty, it’s not like she’s going to wind up in a “Federal Pound Me in the Ass Prison!” No, the biggest horror that Martha will have to endure is the decor at the cushy white collar prison she’ll be sentenced to, assuming it even gets that far.
So, I tell you what, CNN, since you seem to think that Martha’s the biggest story since the Persian Gulf War Part II, and I could care less, I’ll just quit watching and get my news from NPR.
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### Author:  [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)
#### Post date: [June 11, 2003, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/message-to-cnn-fuck-you-fuck-martha-stewart/181051/2 "2003-06-11T05:40:36Z")
> [@](#):
>
> (seeing as how Martha Stewart’s Living is published by them).
I remember the first time I saw Lou Dobb’s _Moneyline_ spend ten minutes making a case for how the latest version of the AOL browser was going to make the internet better. That was the day that I learned _never, never_ to take them at their word about _anything_.
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### Author:  [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)
#### Post date: [June 11, 2003, 11:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/message-to-cnn-fuck-you-fuck-martha-stewart/181051/3 "2003-06-11T11:12:48Z")
They report on this story, in particular, ad naseum because:
1. She is the most hated woman in America.
2. See #1.
Hasn’t she lost something like 600 million already in drop in stock?
I I think she did do insider trading. She was a stock broker. She knows what she is doing. I think insider trading goes on _alot_ more than they get caught.
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### Author:  [@Aslan\_of\_Narnia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aslan_of_Narnia)
#### Post date: [June 11, 2003, 11:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/message-to-cnn-fuck-you-fuck-martha-stewart/181051/4 "2003-06-11T11:29:21Z")
What I find puzzling is that Martha’s a billionaire, and yet this case involves her dealing with a sale of est. 240 000. While it’s not right to do it at any amount, why the hell did she risk jail time and losing a lot’ve more money(lawyers bills, possible bail, etc.) for such a petty amount?(in comparison to her wealth, of course)
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### Author:  [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)
#### Post date: [June 11, 2003, 11:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/message-to-cnn-fuck-you-fuck-martha-stewart/181051/5 "2003-06-11T11:58:38Z")
All Martha all the time - only when they’re not probing the Peterson case, or reporting on how whatshisface got jobbed on American Idol, or any other number of fluffy stories that they swore they’d stop doing as the new and improved sober media post-9/11. 🙂
Just watch CNN for the crawler, and you’ll be happier! And more informed.
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### Author:  [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)
#### Post date: [June 11, 2003, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/message-to-cnn-fuck-you-fuck-martha-stewart/181051/6 "2003-06-11T12:02:04Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Shirley Ujest \*
> \*\* I think insider trading goes on _alot_ more than they get caught. \*\*
No!
Really?
Well, knock me down with a feather. 😃
I think insider trading is almost standard practice in certain parts of the business world. It’s so easy to do, relatively easy to avoid getting caught, and the SEC and other enforcement agencies have shown quite clearly over the years that they’re not exactly rabid in their attempts to prosecute.
We can trust the rich to police themselves, don’t you know?
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### Author:  [@emarkp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emarkp)
#### Post date: [June 11, 2003, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/message-to-cnn-fuck-you-fuck-martha-stewart/181051/7 "2003-06-11T17:35:45Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Tuckerfan \*
> …and I could care less…
You could care less? What would you care less about?
Oh wait. You probably meant that you **couldn’t** care less. 😉
(What’s the accepted term around here for “duck and run”?)