What now? Get a life. Don’t waste your kid’s life plotting his future by glomming onto big shots.
Think of that poor man you’re taking advantage of. I’m sure in all his years of political operating he’s absolutely never had somebody solicit his influence. :rolleyes:
Get realistic people. This is a classic schmooze. The Pol man is probably on to newcrasher’s moves and doesn’t seem to care since it’s a situation he’s had to deal with his whole life. The fact that he offered an invitation pretty much shows that he’s not concerned about getting played.
And while a nine year old kid shouldn’t be actively pursuing a university it doesn’t harm him to see university life or have a favorite college sports team. A visit is not going to harm him.
This is what have I have seen from the outside - thank you for sharing your inside perspective.
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This gentleman obviously is too intelligent to intentionally put himself in an obligation he has no desire to fulfill. This would be a good experience for your son regardless of whether the man remains an influential resource for you so I’d do it based on that alone. And then, if the friendship continues or he makes an additional gesture, it’s good again. Take him up on it while leaving him with an easy out… and good luck!
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And that is the common sense about pursuing this type of relationship, regardless of where it goes.
1000 times THIS!!! This dad is doing right by his kid. It’s not his fault you’re jealous of who he knows! He’s doing his job as Dad making sure his kid has a bright future. To the OP: try to score some baseball tix, and invite him to a game this summer, so you stay on his radar. At 9 years old, the kid needs to know that his future is important. He can spend his summers “having fun”, but school is his job right now, and he needs to make sure his “last school job” (college) is the best it can be. He can have fun again after he retires.
You make these sound like bad things?! :dubious: He’s just making sure his son has the best future he can, as any responsible parent would.
Wow, that sounds like a fun life. :rolleyes:
LWBR-I’d agree if this was the 1950’s, and the USA was the dominate economy on Earth. Unfortuantely, that is not the case, and this kid needs to prepare himself for this new reality. This dad is just being honest with his son.
You mean other than research that suggests that parents overprotecting, overscheduling, and (specifically) pulling strings for their kids tends to lead to delayed adolescence, anxiety disorders, severe difficulty with decision-making, and other lovely dysfunctions? Yeah, no problem with that.
etv78 has interesting long-held grudges against his parents involving his own school career, so take anything he says about the matter w/ that grain of salt.
The harm is done to the kid who is just a bit more qualified than your qualified son, but is passed over thanks to this man’s influence. That’s what you’re hoping, no? That this influence will give your son an edge that other candidates won’t have?
Again, WHY should he worry about another kid? His job is to worry about his kid!
Bob-I agree I have issues with my parents. Dunno how many grains of salt people need. 
FH-We NEED kids to “worry” about their future! If they don’t worry, they’ll settle for second rate, and nobody should have to settle.
Hey, newcrasher, ignore all the haters - they just don’t have experience at this level. The person you are referring to in the OP expects to be “used” (folks at that level call it networking) - that is how power and influence is expressed, by using it.
Just play it cool, be respectful, don’t become a pest, and you can probably make this work for years to come. Once he gets to know your kid as a person, he’ll likely be more than happy to help mentor him in his own small way.
That won’t happen - if anyone loses it’s the guy on the bottom of the list who was on the edge anyway (everyone gets pushed down one spot).
Absolutely. Both using influence to advance someone less deserving and using a person as a mean towards a self-serving end are morally wrong.
Now, I understand that many people have no qualm with doing so, and no qualm with teaching their children such values as “you’ll get ahead, not by your competences but by knowing the right people and feigning friendship with them”.
However, obviously, not all “responsible parents” have an “anything goes as long as you can prosper” attitude, otherwise, nobody would receive any moral education. You might find what the OP is hoping to do to be acceptable, but for my part, I put trying to get ahead by using someone’s influence in the same moral category as cheating during your exams or bribery.
some people are perfectly happy to take second rate if it means they don’t have to wait until retirement to enjoy life.
IMHO, people should chill a bit more about their kids’ future, and let things work out, or not, depending on how things work out down the road. Sooner or later, people learn to get enough done to get a shot at their dreams. There are worst things in life then not getting into your first choice of colleges.
Which was partially the point of the article. The thesis is that parental interference - including string-pulling - cripples a child’s ability to understand their own strengths and weaknesses, their ability to cope with difficult tasks, etc., leaving them at a loss when things happen like professors actually expecting you to study or bosses expecting you to meet demanding tasks and deadlines. This results in serious generalized anxiety disorders, not in rather bland “worry about the future.”
Hmmm…because our moral values, generally speaking, go beyond “why should we worry about anybody else than ourselves” (for non-sociopaths, at least)?
I’m just amazed that the US university system has provisions for allowing ‘influence’ to facilitate admissions.
How does that work?
In Aus, either you get a high enough score in your final high-school year to qualify for admission to a particular course at a particular university, or you don’t. Simply, the more prestigious the study-path (think medicine, law etc) and the more prestigious the university (think Sydney, Melbourne) the higher the score you will need.
That’s it. No correspondence will be entered into.
:dubious:
I don’t see a problem with cultivating a friendship. He seems like a cool guy. And if it pays off for your son down the road, that’s great! As long as you’re not only associating with this guy because of what you can get out of him later, then just pursue a friendship like you would with anybody else. Don’t let him hang around your kid without you until you know him better. Invite him over for dinner sometime. Evaluate how he interacts with your child. If you don’t get any creepiness vibes, and your child wants to go to the game, then let him. It’s not rocket surgery!
Admissions officers consider a variety of factors, including test scores, grades, essays, extra curricular activities, and personal references. That last one is where you might want to get a letter from General Powell if he knows you. For the top tier schools, they get more than enough applicants that have the grades and scores to get in. Something like a letter from a US Senator might (or might not) be enough to put you on the short list.