# Met online-all good; photo sent then silence. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 13, 2010, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/met-online-all-good-photo-sent-then-silence/535906 "2010-04-13T00:58:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![King\_Bobo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c68b51/32.png) [@King\_Bobo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/King_Bobo)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2010, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/met-online-all-good-photo-sent-then-silence/535906/121 "2010-04-15T06:26:56Z")
What is this age thing? That whole last post had me lost. What did Bees say? ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2010, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/met-online-all-good-photo-sent-then-silence/535906/122 "2010-04-15T06:28:40Z")
He said that if he was interested in women he’d do you in a second. ---
**Author:** ![Covered\_In\_Bees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ab992/32.png) [@Covered\_In\_Bees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Covered_In_Bees)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2010, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/met-online-all-good-photo-sent-then-silence/535906/123 "2010-04-15T06:31:08Z")
> [@King\_Bobo](#): > > What is this age thing? > > That whole last post had me lost. > > What did Bees say? You can check for yourself, unless you blocked me for some reason. :dubious: > [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > He said that if he was interested in women he’d do you in a second. She has questionable standards, all yours. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![King\_Bobo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c68b51/32.png) [@King\_Bobo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/King_Bobo)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2010, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/met-online-all-good-photo-sent-then-silence/535906/124 "2010-04-15T06:32:49Z")
Oh, OK. Who said that? ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2010, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/met-online-all-good-photo-sent-then-silence/535906/125 "2010-04-15T06:32:57Z")
Hahahaha. This board is fucking awesome. ---
**Author:** ![King\_Bobo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c68b51/32.png) [@King\_Bobo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/King_Bobo)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2010, 6:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/met-online-all-good-photo-sent-then-silence/535906/126 "2010-04-15T06:35:04Z")
I am dumb in the extreme. Someone has to clue me in here. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2010, 6:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/met-online-all-good-photo-sent-then-silence/535906/127 "2010-04-15T06:37:15Z")
> [@King\_Bobo](#): > > I am dumb in the extreme. Someone has to clue me in here. Not sure I understand how you aren’t understanding. You aren’t seeing **Bee** ’s posts? ---
**Author:** ![King\_Bobo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c68b51/32.png) [@King\_Bobo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/King_Bobo)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2010, 6:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/met-online-all-good-photo-sent-then-silence/535906/128 "2010-04-15T06:48:05Z")
Melon, Not sure if I get Bees posts. I think he/she is saying I am a bad person. Damned if I care. KB ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2010, 6:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/met-online-all-good-photo-sent-then-silence/535906/129 "2010-04-15T06:49:44Z")
> [@King\_Bobo](#): > > Melon, > > Not sure if I get Bees posts. I think he/she is saying I am a bad person. > > Damned if I care. > > KB 😕 He’s not saying that at all. ---
**Author:** ![King\_Bobo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c68b51/32.png) [@King\_Bobo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/King_Bobo)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2010, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/met-online-all-good-photo-sent-then-silence/535906/130 "2010-04-15T06:52:04Z")
So what did I miss? ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2010, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/met-online-all-good-photo-sent-then-silence/535906/131 "2010-04-15T06:55:33Z")
**Bees** told you that he is older, more attractive and better groomed than I am. You didn’t seem to understand what he was saying so I quipped that he wasn’t interested in you because he’s gay. Then he responded that if you’re interested in me you must have low standards and so he yielded defeat. Then you asked wtf was going on. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2010, 9:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/met-online-all-good-photo-sent-then-silence/535906/132 "2010-04-15T09:39:49Z")
And then ACM explained it to you. And then I typed this. And then…ooh, cookies! ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2010, 10:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/met-online-all-good-photo-sent-then-silence/535906/133 "2010-04-15T10:45:53Z")
> [@King\_Bobo](#): > > So what did I miss? The young studs are fighting over you, but in a somewhat questionable way - that is, the seduction techniques being used are questionable, that they’re fighting over you is not. FWIW, I wouldn’t take the ‘pic-sent, no-response’ thing personally at all. Firstly, your pic looks just fine. It’s fresh, outdoorsy, and you look like a fun person. I’m assuming one of a few things. One - you said you were mid 40s-ish - maybe buddy was expecting Demi Moore - she’s 47 - not much you can do about that; however, if you turned out to be Demi Moore-esq, he would probably complain about how much time it took you to get ready to go anywhere. (Lets all remember - Ms. Moore does not wake up looking like that - despite being naturally pretty, there’s still hours of prep time involved in her public appearances.) Two - as everyone lies on the internet, perhaps he thought you were bigger than you are? That sounds odd, but hear me out. Many moons ago (kind of before there was an internet) I was on a thing called ChatLine. It wasn’t specifically a dating service, but everyone kind of used it that way - you were required to fill out a profile which I did in a way that I thought was honest - i.e. I listed my figure type as curvy. IRL, I AM curvy - i.e. I have a small waist and a curvy booty and boobs; however, I’m also kind of small (a lot smaller then - I wore about a size 2 or 4 - sometimes a 0 depending - SMALL). So I met a guy off ChatLine and he was **shocked** at my IRL size. Apparently on the internet, curvy means really, really quite large. If you listed yourself as ‘a few extra pounds’ (which I guess a lot of women would do) that’s (apparently) code for really, really big. What I’m saying is, is that you look quite slim and athletic in your pic - I could imagine that if you had chosen ‘curvy’ or ‘a few extra pounds’ in your profile he may have been expecting a much bigger girl and been disappointed - not because you don’t look good, just because he likes bigger girls - ya know? Thirdly, any of the other things that have been suggested - he met someone IRL and fell for her, his wife found out, he’s gay, he was abducted by aliens, he has a strange puppet phobia, he’s a douche, etc. Regardless, I can’t think that your pic actually had much to do with it, but he really should have messaged you in _SOME_ way so you wouldn’t be wondering; however, if he’s this inconsiderate, I think you dodged a bullet, personally. ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2010, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/met-online-all-good-photo-sent-then-silence/535906/134 "2010-04-15T13:42:42Z")
> [@alice\_in\_wonderland](#): > > Two - as everyone lies on the internet, perhaps he thought you were bigger than you are? That sounds odd, but hear me out. Many moons ago (kind of before there was an internet) I was on a thing called ChatLine. It wasn’t specifically a dating service, but everyone kind of used it that way - you were required to fill out a profile which I did in a way that I thought was honest - i.e. I listed my figure type as curvy. IRL, I AM curvy - i.e. I have a small waist and a curvy booty and boobs; however, I’m also kind of small (a lot smaller then - I wore about a size 2 or 4 - sometimes a 0 depending - SMALL). So I met a guy off ChatLine and he was **shocked** at my IRL size. Apparently on the internet, curvy means really, really quite large. If you listed yourself as ‘a few extra pounds’ (which I guess a lot of women would do) that’s (apparently) code for really, really big. I apply a decibel scale to reported weight on dating profiles, so “a few extra pounds” is “borderline obese”, “overweight” is “morbidly corpulent”, and “slender” is actually “terminal stage anorexia”. You, my dear **Alice** , would be “average” (or perhaps “athletic”) despite that term giving no fair description of your Jessica Rabbit-esque proportions. Stranger ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2010, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/met-online-all-good-photo-sent-then-silence/535906/135 "2010-04-15T17:51:46Z")
Wait… Covered in Bees is a guy? ---
**Author:** ![Covered\_In\_Bees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ab992/32.png) [@Covered\_In\_Bees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Covered_In_Bees)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2010, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/met-online-all-good-photo-sent-then-silence/535906/136 "2010-04-15T18:27:24Z")
> [@Zsofia](#): > > Wait… Covered in Bees is a guy? [Yes](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=537570) actually. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2010, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/met-online-all-good-photo-sent-then-silence/535906/137 "2010-04-15T18:41:58Z")
> [@Zsofia](#): > > I think a lot of it may be that no matter what somebody looks like, when you see a picture after you’ve already been talking it’s… unsettling. Better, I think, to see a picture in the beginning. Agreed. (And Covered\_In\_Bees is, indeed, a guy. EDIT: way too slow over here.) I don’t have _that_ much online dating experience, but in the brief period of time I did it (and it is how I found my current SO), I don’t think I ever responded to anyone without a picture in the profile. It’s not like I’m George Clooney or anything myself, but best to set expectations up front. There are also certain types of pictures that instantly turned me off (shots with obvious significant others cropped out of the picture particularly irked me.) I also think it’s good to meet fairly early in the process, so you don’t get wrapped up in some emotional relationship over the phone or emails, only to find out you don’t have that “chemistry” – whaver that word means to the both of you – in person. It’s just a hell of a lot easier that way. You don’t have as much emotionally invested. Now, that’s just my perspective. Maybe I’m just a shallow son-of-a-bitch. At any rate, the OP’s photo is perfectly lovely–natural, fresh, honest, pretty. I’m really not sure what else the guy wanted but, really, it doesn’t matter. Whatever it is, you’re not his physical type, but you can’t be everyone’s type. Better to screen these people out with a photo upfront then to find out later, in my opinion. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2010, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/met-online-all-good-photo-sent-then-silence/535906/138 "2010-04-15T19:27:53Z")
> [@alice\_in\_wonderland](#): > > The young studs are fighting over you, but in a somewhat questionable way - that is, the seduction techniques being used are questionable, that they’re fighting over you is not. I think you need to start making travel plans, **Bobo**. 😃 > [@](#): > > perhaps he thought you were bigger than you are?\ Yeah, you’re only like, what, two inches tall? ---
**Author:** ![LurkerInNJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ed655f/32.png) [@LurkerInNJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkerInNJ)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2010, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/met-online-all-good-photo-sent-then-silence/535906/139 "2010-04-16T02:25:52Z")
> [@King\_Bobo](#): > > After connection, we spoke daily for about a month or more. You were speaking waaay too long before exchanging photos. It’s probably nothing to do with how you look (because you look fine) but that the image that he built up in his head of you (for better or worse) didn’t match reality. Have a friend take a nice photo of you and put it in your profile. ---
**Author:** ![F.Pu-du-he-pa-as](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c89c15/32.png) [@F.Pu-du-he-pa-as](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/F.Pu-du-he-pa-as)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2010, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/met-online-all-good-photo-sent-then-silence/535906/140 "2010-04-16T02:27:37Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > Listen to this guy, he knows what he’s talking about. I am a _ **girl** _! The F. on the front of my name is supposed to show that, at least in Hittite, whence I took my user name. Do you not know Hittite spelling conventions? 😛 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/met-online-all-good-photo-sent-then-silence/535906.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/met-online-all-good-photo-sent-then-silence/535906.md?page=8)