Okay, I’m not taking my kid to see that new Peter Rabbit movie. :eek:
Does something like Previews count? All it has is a list of what comic books (and comic-related merchandise) are going to be released two months from now.
I am also thinking of something like Computer Shopper, which is pretty much nothing but computer ads.
There are at least a half-dozen woodworking magazines out there, and they’re extremely repetitive too. Every issue has an article on dovetail joints, one on some new table saw jig or router table accessory, reviews of new drills and saws and dust-catching systems, and plans for yet another bookcase, cutting board, or bedside table. And all of them repeat themselves on every subject on a one to three year cycle. I bet I could build 20 different (but extremely similar) workbenches if I went through all my back issues.
The funny thing is, I still enjoy the hell out of reading all of them.
And libraries.
Go into any academic library, and you’ll see huge amounts of shelf space taken up by magazines, often bound in 6- or 12-month increments, that nobody has probably read since the peers reviewed it.
Filmfax : the magazine of unusual film and television. Think Bela Lugosi movies and Bettie Page. Great magazine for those into old genre movies and TV. It might have 15 pages of content and the rest is a glorified catalog. You can get any old movie you want, but it’s the same catalog every single issue.
Yesterday I was gazing at the woodworking magazine selection at Barnes & Noble with envy.
I counted ten or twelve magazines about wood…I get to choose from exactly two machinist’s magazines (and yes, I buy them both).
I used to wonder why the car magazines spent so much effort on $100k Ferarris that almost nobody could buy. Then I realized they are just selling a fantasy. They are just like the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue. You are not getting to marry (or even date) those girls just like you are not getting that $100k car.
In the ultimate example of this I saw recently a magazine called something like “Retro News” or “Old News” and it’s entire gimmick was that it was entirely reprints of old newspaper articles from the 1850’s to the 1980’s except formatted to current standards so it was easier to read. The “cover story” was also apparently entirely original as it was a long-form fake news article describing a major event with a wink and a nod from the writer towards future events. The only issue I ever looked through the cover story was about the Battle of Britain and written like it was totally expecting Britain to lose it as they compared actual aircraft strengths and numbers between the two forces (which obviously wouldn’t have been known at the time by civilian publications)
For years I had a Reader’s Digest subscription; a relative of mine would give everyone gift subscriptions for Christmas. The content was numbingly anodyne and consistent: glurgy stuff; profiles of nice, nonthreatening celebrities like Paul Newman or Oprah Winfrey; exposés like “What Your Plumber Won’t Tell You,” articles on health and money management; how to deal with those newfangled computers; lame jokes; etc. Eventually the relative passed on and the subscription stopped.
I’d be hard pressed to think of an unpredictable magazine that’s still published. However, I have fond memories of Spy. You never knew what was going to be in each new issue—but you knew that, whatever it was, it would be highly embarrassing to various celebrities and politicians and hysterically funny for the reader.
To be fair, magazines with more general interest can be guilty of this too. For example, just about every article in National Geographic boils down to one of these:
- Outer space, and how crazy our universe is.
- The unexpected beauty of Cuba / Syria / Nigeria / some other shithole country.
- The brave, endangered panda / jaguar / Florida manatee!
- Global warming
- Global warming & Russia
- Global warming & China
- This new discovery will revolutionize what we know about paleontology / neurology / some other-ology.
Every year or three I pick up a copy of High Times. I like to drool over the macros.
I used to subscribe to White Dwarf, even though I’ve never played a Warhammer game in my life. Boy, are the battle reports predictable - whatever army was the one featured on the cover/ the new release would win.
Still loved drooling over the model painting and scenery building articles, though.
Not the movie, but a Peter Rabbit pop song from 1966.
Along came McDonald with his trusty gun
He (pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop), everybody run!
Peter Rabbit, Peter Rabbit
Peter Rabbit, he’ll be hoppin’ along.
As a model builder, I subscribed for many years to a magazine called “Fine Scale Modeler”. Good pics, how-to articles, etc. Then it got repetitive so I dropped it.
LOADS of magazines could be put together by one write with a Mad Libs type template.
Readers’ Digest “How God Saved Me From ___” “the Heroism of ____ ,” “A New Super Diet: Lose weight by eating _____.”)
National Enquirer “(____ having a torrid affair with ." " is secretly gay!”; “_____ is pregnant by secret married lover _____.”)
It’s somewhat that - people read the articles and compile lists of what they’d get if they won the lottery.
Some of it, for me, is seeing what tech will be hitting regular cars down the line, as the latest tech shows up in the top of the market first.
Then there are those of us waiting for depreciation to gnaw on them a bit before we pounce. There’s a huge gap in content for cars that are one or two models out of date but not yet classics, especially if the brand doesn’t have a devoted following that warrants specialty magazines. That’s mostly why I have my old issues of EVO. Yeah, there’s the internet, but the quality of the info isn’t all that great, imo.
This is basically BMW’s monthly magazine, Roundel (sans bikinis + an Autobahn article).
And, of course: “(insert celebrity name) sad last days.”
And various body parts from someone named “Joe”.
I remember the “I Am Joe’s/Jane’s (body part)” series from the 1970s, when I was a kid. I always enjoyed those stories. Do they still do those?
I’ve seen (ONCE) slick magazines titled “Autism” and “Affluent Traveler”, and my sister mentioned on Facebook that she saw a similar magazine titled “Divorce”. :dubious: