# \#METOO backlash **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 29, 2018, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/metoo-backlash/807766 "2018-01-29T23:25:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2018, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/metoo-backlash/807766/121 "2018-02-01T16:51:59Z")
> [@Jasmine](#): > > Spousal abuse is also viewed differently by many. If a women is abused, she can get help and a large support group. Men who are abused often remain silent because of fear of ridicule. “Wow, tough guy, your wife beat you up?! Need a bodyguard?!” They can often be viewed more like pansies than victims, and it isn’t fair. In addition, a women can lie and say her husband attacked her and she was simply defending herself. How readily would the same explanation be accepted if it came from a man even if it was true? That’s why I make sure to speak up, even when some people decide to be unpleasant, make injurious judgements and demand that I explain everything to their satisfaction, like someone in this thread did last night. “Irrational fear” my ass. :mad: ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2018, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/metoo-backlash/807766/122 "2018-02-01T18:01:29Z")
> [@Jasmine](#): > > To me, “harassment” means “consistent and repeated”. Women should keep that in mind because, along with the right to complain comes the responsibility to be fair. I somewhat agree, and that is how I picture harassment due to the history of the word. But that doesn’t mean that egregious one-off actions that should obviously be verboten without the need for an express denial shouldn’t have consequences. We might need another word that means neither “harassment” nor “assault” especially if it were something like a one-off but extremely crude proposition. ---
**Author:** ![k9bfriender](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/k9bfriender/32/3283_2.png) [@k9bfriender](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/k9bfriender)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2018, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/metoo-backlash/807766/123 "2018-02-01T18:29:14Z")
> [@Ludovic](#): > > I somewhat agree, and that is how I picture harassment due to the history of the word. But that doesn’t mean that egregious one-off actions that should obviously be verboten without the need for an express denial shouldn’t have consequences. We might need another word that means neither “harassment” nor “assault” especially if it were something like a one-off but extremely crude proposition. What examples are you thinking? If it’s an egregious action, then it is going to be assault. If it is not something that raises to the level of assault, at worst you are being a jerk (legal) for a “one-off”, and harassment, IMHO, does not require continuation over a long period of time, continuation in the face of just one request to stop is harassment. ---
**Author:** ![Ann\_Hedonia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ann_hedonia/32/319_2.png) [@Ann\_Hedonia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ann_Hedonia)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2018, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/metoo-backlash/807766/124 "2018-02-01T19:57:41Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > Wow, there’s a law begging for a court challenge. > > Of course, you say “some”, so I guess I’d want to look into that further before I could determine that. Here’s a cite with more info on the law. > **[Park Playground Ban on Adults Unaccompanied by Children | Law Review | Parks...](https://www.nrpa.org/parks-recreation-magazine/2015/march/park-playground-ban-on-adults-unaccompanied-by-children/)** > > Some parks are implementing bans on adults unaccompanied by children in an effort to provide an enhanced level of safety for young people. The second section deals specifically with the NYC Law. “…the rules and regulations for New York City parks provides for “Exclusive Children’s Playgrounds” in which adults are “ allowed in playground areas only when accompanied by a child under the age of twelve (12)”. The article contains some good legal analysis of the rule. ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2018, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/metoo-backlash/807766/125 "2018-02-02T00:07:46Z")
> [@Ruken](#): > > What sensible point? I made up a sensible hypothetical example thus: a single man probably shouldn’t hang around a children’s playground for many days with a camera. **Manson1972** absurdly extrapolated this to (paraphrasing): “Oh, then a guy should never leave the house, right?? And always be afraid, right??” > [@](#): > > This thread is a screaming example of how humans fail at risk assessment. The only people who are scared are the irrational and the actual creepers. It’s like the people who worry about terrorism yet who drive to work every day. Well, this thread has become a screaming example of _something_–not sure you’ve nailed it. :rolleyes: But _I’m_ outta here. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2018, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/metoo-backlash/807766/126 "2018-02-02T02:48:42Z")
> [@Slash1972](#): > > Afterward, my wife told me that doctor asked her “Do you feel safe?” and she answered “Yes” and then they released her. Besides the fact that nobody asked ME if I felt safe, I experienced no problems with anything after this visit. Why would they ask if **you** feel safe? You weren’t the patient. Since my mom died I have been the one to accompany my dad to the e.r. more than once, and each time they have asked if he feels safe at home. They don’t care if I, his daughter, do. ---
**Author:** ![DSeid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dseid/32/20194_2.png) [@DSeid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DSeid)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2018, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/metoo-backlash/807766/127 "2018-02-02T03:35:43Z")
> [@Ann\_Hedonia](#): > > Here’s a cite with more info on the law. > > [https://www.nrpa.org/parks-recreation-magazine/2015/march/park-playground-ban-on-adults-unaccompanied-by-children/](https://www.nrpa.org/parks-recreation-magazine/2015/march/park-playground-ban-on-adults-unaccompanied-by-children/) > > The second section deals specifically with the NYC Law. > “…the rules and regulations for New York City parks provides for “Exclusive Children’s Playgrounds” in which adults are “ allowed in playground areas only when accompanied by a child under the age of twelve (12)”. > > The article contains some good legal analysis of the rule. It does. First the laws are limiting all unaccompanied adult access to playgrounds with such signage, female as well as male. Per that analysis a stated objective of wanting to “maximize play area equipment available for children and minors for whom the city’s play equipment and play areas are specifically designed” may make such allowable but enforcement can then not be selective and still be constitutional. An unaccompanied 32 year old woman in mom jeans is as prohibited as the 59 year old man in a trenchcoat ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2018, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/metoo-backlash/807766/128 "2018-02-02T03:41:25Z")
> [@Jasmine](#): > > I think it’s easy to forget that men are subject to stereotypical thinking just as women are. It occurs to me that there’s a certain stereotyping going on in this very thread. The article linked in the OP describes how men, and some women too, are modifying their behavior in the wake of widespread reports of sexual abuse and harassment. Everyone here seems to be leaping to the conclusion that it’s all in an effort to cover their own asses; that they’re afraid of being accused and having their reputation tarnished. What if there’s more going on, though? What if the change in behavior is prompted by a sincere desire not to give offense? When a man questions a woman’s claim of harassment, I’ve seen that met with some variation on “it doesn’t matter if you thought your behavior was okay, you don’t know what women go through, you just don’t get it, if a woman says she was harassed we should believe her.” If we really take that message to heart, how do we avoid giving offense except to minimize our interactions with women? Personally, I think people have a myriad of motivations for their actions. It’s rare, if ever, that I do something for one reason and one reason alone. I don’t want to be accused of harassment, and I don’t want some woman I talk to to feel like she’s been harassed, even if she keeps it to yourself. Those two things together probably make me more guarded than either one would separately. But I think it’s interesting that this thread focused so much on the most self-serving explanation for the way men are reacting. ---
**Author:** ![Slash1972](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slash1972/32/6461_2.png) [@Slash1972](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slash1972)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2018, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/metoo-backlash/807766/129 "2018-02-02T04:26:54Z")
> [@ThelmaLou](#): > > Well, this thread has become a screaming example of _something_–not sure you’ve nailed it. :rolleyes: But _I’m_ outta here. Shocking that you left this thread :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Slash1972](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slash1972/32/6461_2.png) [@Slash1972](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slash1972)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2018, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/metoo-backlash/807766/130 "2018-02-02T04:28:16Z")
> [@xizor](#): > > Not a playground, but an anecdote in the spirit of your question. > A co-worker (middle aged male) went to a local college campus one evening last fall to listen to a talk on some computer programming topic. While on campus, he asked some female students where XXXX hall was. Within a few minutes, campus police had detained him. Since he felt he had done nothing wrong, he was answering their questions honestly (“Yes, I am on campus after hours”, “Yes, I am not a student or faculty”, “Yes, I did talk to some female students”). I am not sure how formal the ban was, but he was advised it would be in his best interest to leave. Thank you for posting, and I appreciate that anecdote. ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2018, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/metoo-backlash/807766/131 "2018-02-02T04:44:14Z")
Hey there girlies, where’s the tripple-X Hall? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/metoo-backlash/807766.md?page=6)