# Michael Bay to Remake "The Exorcist" **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 1, 2008, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-bay-to-remake-the-exorcist/443576 "2008-04-01T20:18:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2008, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-bay-to-remake-the-exorcist/443576/1 "2008-04-01T20:18:48Z")
[So, at what point does Regan’s head explode?](http://www.darkhorizons.com/news08/080401b.php) > [@](#): > > Platinum Dunes is continuing its bid to remake the major horror film masterpieces from 1960’s to 80’s with Screen Annual reporting that Michael Bay’s company is seeking a screen writer for a new adaption of William Peter Blatty’s “The Exorcist”. > > Along with the already announced plans to remake “Friday the 13th,” “A Nightmare on Elm Street,” “The Birds” and most recently “Rosemary’s Baby”, the move doesn’t really come as a surprise. Maybe they can have Bruce Willis drill a hole in Regan’s head and stick a nuclear weapon in there! ---
**Author:** ![pinkfreud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pinkfreud/32/17603_2.png) [@pinkfreud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pinkfreud)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2008, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-bay-to-remake-the-exorcist/443576/2 "2008-04-01T20:42:34Z")
Ooh, ooh, Shia LaBeouf will make such a cool Father Merrin. I can’t wait. Your mother sews socks that smell! ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2008, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-bay-to-remake-the-exorcist/443576/3 "2008-04-01T20:46:49Z")
I don’t understand remaking these masterpieces? For what reason? It’s like putting Venice in Vegas, I guess. ---
**Author:** ![peekercpa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8baadc/32.png) [@peekercpa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/peekercpa)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2008, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-bay-to-remake-the-exorcist/443576/4 "2008-04-01T20:50:09Z")
[QUOTE=Liberal] I don’t understand remaking these masterpieces? For what reason? It’s like putting Venice in Vegas, I guess. [/QUOTE] And, I think that’s called The Venetian. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2008, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-bay-to-remake-the-exorcist/443576/5 "2008-04-01T20:52:51Z")
You know, the internet is giving me a headache today. I can’t decide what’s April’s Fools and what’s legit. I think I want to go back to bed and pull the covers over my head until tomorrow. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2008, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-bay-to-remake-the-exorcist/443576/6 "2008-04-01T20:54:36Z")
A stupid question, I know, but what’s the need for this exactly? It’s only been four years since the last Exorcist movie, and that was apparently such a trainwreck that it became two separate, equally unsuccessful movies. ---
**Author:** ![Manduck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manduck/32/256_2.png) [@Manduck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manduck)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2008, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-bay-to-remake-the-exorcist/443576/7 "2008-04-01T20:57:27Z")
Michael Bay’s mother sucks cocks in hell! ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2008, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-bay-to-remake-the-exorcist/443576/8 "2008-04-01T21:00:06Z")
I don’t get it. Why remake something that turned out great the first time and is timeless? (Gus Van Sant’s Psycho anyone???) You would think they’d pick movies that were made that had great stories/plots behind them but were made hopelessly bad and show their age. Maybe remake the 1960 or 1995 Village of the Damned into something great. ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2008, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-bay-to-remake-the-exorcist/443576/9 "2008-04-01T21:12:09Z")
[QUOTE=Marley23] A stupid question, I know, but what’s the need for this exactly? It’s only been four years since the last Exorcist movie, and that was apparently such a trainwreck that it became two separate, equally unsuccessful movies. [/QUOTE] Um, to make money. Duh! Michael Bay always makes money except for _The Island_ for his partners. Just like Hyman Roth. Besides, Michael Bay will make it **AWESOME!** Things that you didn’t even realize are combustible will spontaneously explode into flame, and at least two cargo ships worth of exotic sports cars will be destroyed in the ultimate chase scene where Father Merrin leaps from car to car with a GAU-12 Equalizer on each arm while pursuing Megatron and Bonecrusher. (The _Transformers_ tie-in is necessary to appeal to the key 9-13 year old demographic.) I can’t wait until he remakes _Chinatown_. The sad thing is, the possibility is sufficiently plausible that it is hard to tell whether it is really an April Fool’s prank or not. Stranger ---
**Author:** ![Fiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e274bd/32.png) [@Fiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fiver)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2008, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-bay-to-remake-the-exorcist/443576/10 "2008-04-01T21:19:30Z")
I simply don’t believe this story. If it’s not exposed as an April Fool’s prank tomorrow, then I’ll assign it some credibility, but not before. ---
**Author:** ![Gordon\_Urquhart](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/db5fbb/32.png) [@Gordon\_Urquhart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gordon_Urquhart)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2008, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-bay-to-remake-the-exorcist/443576/11 "2008-04-01T21:25:08Z")
It’s definitely an April Fool’s prank (of which Dark Horizons’ Garth Franklin is fond) – mouse over the link to “Screen Annual” in that story. ---
**Author:** ![Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eyebrows_0f_doom/32/3119_2.png) [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eyebrows_0f_Doom)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2008, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-bay-to-remake-the-exorcist/443576/12 "2008-04-01T22:39:03Z")
Oh come on people! It’s clearly an April Fools Joke. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2008, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-bay-to-remake-the-exorcist/443576/13 "2008-04-01T22:45:55Z")
[QUOTE=Fiver] I simply don’t believe this story. If it’s not exposed as an April Fool’s prank tomorrow, then I’ll assign it some credibility, but not before. [/QUOTE] I refuse to believe it. Today, tomorrow, yesterday. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ea5d25/32.png) [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2008, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-bay-to-remake-the-exorcist/443576/14 "2008-04-02T00:03:07Z")
[QUOTE= Stranger on a Train] Besides, Michael Bay will make it AWESOME! Things that you didn’t even realize are combustible will spontaneously explode into flame, and at least two cargo ships worth of exotic sports cars will be destroyed in the ultimate chase scene where Father Merrin leaps from car to car with a GAU-12 Equalizer on each arm while pursuing Megatron and Bonecrusher. [/QUOTE] FUCK YES! I would TOTALLY see that, and I’m 33. I don’t get the hate for Michael Bay. His Verizon commercial summed him up AWESOMEly. Let me tell you all something right now: each and every one of you would rather see: “Michael Bay’s The Other Boleyn Girl” “Michael Bay’s Atonement” “Michael Bay’s Gone With The Wind” or “Michael Bay’s Pretty Woman” than the originals. And I will detonate a quarter-million pounds of TNT under anyone who says otherwise. ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2008, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-bay-to-remake-the-exorcist/443576/15 "2008-04-02T00:24:23Z")
[QUOTE=Happy Scrappy Hero Pup] Let me tell you all something right now: each and every one of you would rather see: “Michael Bay’s The Other Boleyn Girl” “Michael Bay’s Atonement” “Michael Bay’s Gone With The Wind” or “Michael Bay’s Pretty Woman” than the originals. [/QUOTE] Well, I do think that he couldn’t do anything to make _Pretty Woman_ any worse. And I’ll admit to a little curiosity about Bay’s take on the American Civil War, which would no doubt include cruise missiles, supersonic stratobombers, and large-bosomed women wielding Desert Eagle pistols in each hand. Now, if he can just work the wisecracking team of Martin Lawrence and Will Smith into the storyline somehow, it might be a hit. Don’t let him touch _Lawrence of Arabia_, though. Stranger ---
**Author:** ![Baldwin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baldwin/32/7264_2.png) [@Baldwin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baldwin)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2008, 11:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-bay-to-remake-the-exorcist/443576/16 "2008-04-02T11:55:00Z")
[QUOTE=Happy Scrappy Hero Pup] FUCK YES! I would TOTALLY see that, and I’m 33. I don’t get the hate for Michael Bay. His Verizon commercial summed him up AWESOMEly. Let me tell you all something right now: each and every one of you would rather see: “Michael Bay’s The Other Boleyn Girl” “Michael Bay’s Atonement” “Michael Bay’s Gone With The Wind” or “Michael Bay’s Pretty Woman” than the originals. And I will detonate a quarter-million pounds of TNT under anyone who says otherwise. [/QUOTE] Some of us don’t have quite your appetite for shit. So, is it an April Fool joke? Problem is, in today’s movie business, it’s entirely plausible. ---
**Author:** ![Baldwin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baldwin/32/7264_2.png) [@Baldwin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baldwin)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2008, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-bay-to-remake-the-exorcist/443576/17 "2008-04-02T12:35:54Z")
Sorry; that was overly harsh and sounded like a personal comment. I should have just said, “We don’t all like a steady diet of moronic shit, and I kinda wish that those $150 million budgets wouldn’t keep getting wasted on said moronic shit when there are so many good scripts going unproduced.” That’s better. ---
**Author:** ![Jayn\_Newell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Jayn\_Newell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jayn_Newell)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2008, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-bay-to-remake-the-exorcist/443576/18 "2008-04-02T13:14:54Z")
[QUOTE=Hampshire] You would think they’d pick movies that were made that had great stories/plots behind them but were made hopelessly bad and show their age. [/QUOTE] Who’s going to go to see a remake of a movie that sucked the first time? Not that I don’t agree with you, but when you go for the popular stuff you already have a built-in audience–the movie can be shit and it doesn’t matter, because there’s enough initial interest that it’ll still make money. **Happy** , I don’t entirely get the Bay hate either (I thought he did an awesome job with Transformers), but I don’t know that this is the type of film he’d be a good director for. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2008, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-bay-to-remake-the-exorcist/443576/19 "2008-04-02T13:31:44Z")
[QUOTE=Eyebrows 0f Doom] Oh come on people! It’s clearly an April Fools Joke. [/QUOTE] Yeah… the headline does say “April Fools,” and the link for “related news” connects to Wikipedia’s entry for April Fools Day. I’m guessing that wasn’t there yesterday though. 😉 > [@Happy Scrappy Hero Pup](#): > > I don’t get the hate for Michael Bay. Not everybody is as entertained by stuff blowing up as you are, and even aside from that his directing style sucks. I think fight sequences suck when you can’t even tell who’s hitting who because the cuts are too fast and random. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2008, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-bay-to-remake-the-exorcist/443576/20 "2008-04-02T14:15:52Z")
Those Michael Bay Verizon ads are, in fact, awesome. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-bay-to-remake-the-exorcist/443576.md?page=2)