# Michael Cohen's House testimony **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 27, 2019, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-cohens-house-testimony/830297 "2019-02-27T15:16:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 18
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2019, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-cohens-house-testimony/830297/341 "2019-02-28T16:57:07Z")
I think the point is, they’re not defending him because they _can’t_, because Trump’s guilt is just that obvious. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2019, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-cohens-house-testimony/830297/342 "2019-02-28T17:09:44Z")
> [@wolfpup](#): > > If that was a criticism, it was very poorly worded. His meaning seemed pretty clear to me. I think the issue is on your end, not his. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2019, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-cohens-house-testimony/830297/343 "2019-02-28T17:12:22Z")
> [@wolfpup](#): > > What a fucking moron! Apparently he uses his sphincter for a brain. “No Republican today refuted the potential crimes committed by Donald Trump … [they] attacked Michael Cohen. That’s all.” They attacked him, why? They attacked him every single time he cited evidence against their malignant, lying, cheating, corrupt hero, why? That’s his point. And with due respect, it was a very obvious and clearly made one. ---
**Author:** ![aurora\_maire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aurora_maire/32/328_2.png) [@aurora\_maire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aurora_maire)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2019, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-cohens-house-testimony/830297/344 "2019-02-28T17:27:52Z")
> [@Euphonious\_Polemic](#): > > It strikes me that Trump is actually stupider than the stupidest maga-capped numpty out there. > > I mean, Trump supporters are railing against the hearing, are posting nasty remarks about the Democrats, and are calling Cohen a liar, etc. etc. > > But vanishingly few of them are so unremittingly stupid as to call the hearing “fake”. Trump himself is actually one of the dumbest Trumpers out there. It’s interesting that for Trump and his fans it was all lies, lies, lies. Well, except Cohen said there was no collusion so YES, Trump is vindicated! :smack: ---
**Author:** ![John\_Stamos\_Left\_Ear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_stamos_left_ear/32/3198_2.png) [@John\_Stamos\_Left\_Ear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Stamos_Left_Ear)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2019, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-cohens-house-testimony/830297/345 "2019-02-28T17:29:56Z")
> [@wolfpup](#): > > If that was a criticism, it was very poorly worded. Interpreted as a criticism, it clearly implies that Republicans _ **should have** _ done all those things he listed that they didn’t – defend Trump, refute the allegations of criminal activity, etc. Interpreted as praise, it clearly implies that their attack on Cohen does _ **not** _ equate to a defense of Trump, so they displayed tremendous integrity. Walsh should learn to write. I understood exactly what he said, so… ¯\_(ツ)\_/¯ ETA: Didn’t mean to pile on. Didn’t see the other responses. Oh well. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2019, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-cohens-house-testimony/830297/346 "2019-02-28T17:32:15Z")
I’m surprised that no one(Hello, Colbert?) has written a parody children’s book titled “The Emperor’s New Brain”. ---
**Author:** ![scr4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/59ef9b/32.png) [@scr4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scr4)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2019, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-cohens-house-testimony/830297/347 "2019-02-28T17:34:26Z")
> [@wolfpup](#): > > If that was a criticism, it was very poorly worded. Interpreted as a criticism, it clearly implies that Republicans _ **should have** _ done all those things he listed that they didn’t – defend Trump, refute the allegations of criminal activity, etc. It implies that Republicans _would_ have defended Trump _if they could_, but didn’t even try. At least that’s how I understood it. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2019, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-cohens-house-testimony/830297/348 "2019-02-28T17:51:10Z")
Today’s earworm: [“How Could You Believe Me When I Said I Love You When You Know I’ve Been a Liar All My Life?”](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8q2fTSo8aoY) ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2019, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-cohens-house-testimony/830297/349 "2019-02-28T18:12:47Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > His meaning seemed pretty clear to me. I think the issue is on your end, not his. > [@RickJay](#): > > That’s his point. And with due respect, it was a very obvious and clearly made one. One can make a different interpretation than I did if one knows that Walsh turned anti-Trump after having voted for him, which I did not know. I only knew of Walsh as a tea party lunatic. I don’t follow the guy. It’s the sort of tweet whose meaning depends on context, knowing the guy’s current views. Knowing the above, one can see it as a condemnation of Republicans who were implicitly supporting Trump by attacking Cohen’s credibility. But… one can also interpret it to mean the same thing that Chris Christie said yesterday: “there hasn’t been one Republican yet who’s tried to defend the president on the substance. I think that’s something that should be concerning to the White House.” You gentlemen may have seen it as completely clear, but it seems to me it’s sufficiently ambiguous that even with context, it could reasonably be understood to mean either of those completely different things. ---
**Author:** ![dasmoocher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dbc845/32.png) [@dasmoocher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dasmoocher)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2019, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-cohens-house-testimony/830297/350 "2019-02-28T18:13:36Z")
> [@Happy\_Lendervedder](#): > > “Fake” = “anti-Trump.” Actually, I think Trump considers anything that’s not pro-Trump to be Fake. > [@D\_Odds](#): > > Outside of NYC and Atlantic City, NJ, I wonder just how much of the country knew this, versus the image Trump wanted to project and reinforced via _The Apprentice_. Hell, even here in NYC there are far, far too many who believe his lies, especially in Staten Island and certain neighborhoods in Queens. I first became aware of Trump in the '80s when he owned the USFL’s NJ Generals and found him pretty pompous, but I was just a high school football player and didn’t give him much thought back then beyond that. During the campaign, anti-liberal friends would tell me what a successful businessman Trump was and how he is always the smartest guy in the room. By then, I had seen him enough wonder how anyone could possibly believe that. I mean, Trump now can barely hold a coherent thought in that hamster-wheel powered piece of grey matter that passes for his brain nowadays. The supporters would get all offended when I would suggest trump is in the early stages of dementia, in addition to the obvious narcissism. ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_MB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steve_mb/32/5339_2.png) [@Steve\_MB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_MB)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2019, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-cohens-house-testimony/830297/351 "2019-02-28T18:31:18Z")
> [@scr4](#): > > It implies that Republicans _would_ have defended Trump _if they could_, but didn’t even try. At least that’s how I understood it. This. It also serves as a comment that the best “argument” the Republicans could come up with is “Cohen is a sleazeball who did dirty deeds for Donald Trump”. Apparently they’re using the same logic the Penguin used when he ran for mayor against Batman in the 1960s Adam West series, arguing that he was more trustworthy because Batman was often surrounded by criminals while he himself was often surrounded by police. ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2019, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-cohens-house-testimony/830297/352 "2019-02-28T19:21:55Z")
> [@wolfpup](#): > > But… one can also interpret it to mean the same thing that Chris Christie said yesterday: “there hasn’t been one Republican yet who’s tried to defend the president on the substance. I think that’s something that should be concerning to the White House.” > > You gentlemen may have seen it as completely clear, but it seems to me it’s sufficiently ambiguous that even with context, it could reasonably be understood to mean either of those completely different things. How do you read _“There hasn’t been one Republican yet who’s tried to defend the president on the substance. I think that’s something that should be concerning to the White House”_ other than “Trump should be running scared because even his defenders can’t think of anything nice to say about him?” ---
**Author:** ![dasmoocher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dbc845/32.png) [@dasmoocher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dasmoocher)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2019, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-cohens-house-testimony/830297/353 "2019-02-28T19:47:40Z")
Now Jim Jordan and Mark Meadows, probably the two biggest douches from yesterday and in general, want Cohen to be investigated for perjury. I guess that might be the last card to play, since they can’t defend Trump himself. [Republican lawmakers ask Justice Department to investigate Michael Cohen for perjury](https://www.cnn.com/2019/02/28/politics/house-criminal-referral-michael-cohen/index.html) > [@](#): > > \*\*CNN–\*\*Two of President Donald Trump’s closest allies on the House Judiciary Committee referred Trump’s former personal lawyer, Michael Cohen, to the Justice Department Thursday for possible criminal prosecution, claiming to have evidence that Cohen “committed perjury and knowingly made false statements” to lawmakers during his day-long testimony Wednesday. > > The criminal referral – sent by Ohio Rep. Jim Jordan, the top Republican on the Oversight Committee, and North Carolina Republican Rep. Mark Meadows – outlined several areas of testimony they urged the Justice Department to investigate, including Cohen’s claims Wednesday that he did not seek a job in the Trump White House, his denial of committing bank fraud, as well as his assertion that the did not have any reportable contracts with foreign entities. > > … > > “I was extremely proud to be the personal attorney for the President of the United States of America,” Cohen told lawmakers Wednesday. “I did not want to go to the White House.” > > Yet Republicans have pointed to court filings from prosecutors in the Southern District of New York that stated Cohen “privately told friends and colleagues, including in seized text messages, that he expected to be given a prominent role and title in the new administration” – an assertion Cohen said Wednesday was “not inaccurate.” When I watched the testimony, I mentioned there’s a difference between expecting a White House job and wanting one. We’ll see if that distinction shakes out. As a bonus, there’s now reports of footage of Mark “I am not a racist and neither is Trump because here’s a black woman who worked for him” Meadows saying something a few years ago that Obama ~“needed to go back to Kenya”. ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2019, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-cohens-house-testimony/830297/354 "2019-02-28T19:51:47Z")
> [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](#): > > How do you read _“There hasn’t been one Republican yet who’s tried to defend the president on the substance. I think that’s something that should be concerning to the White House”_ other than “Trump should be running scared because even his defenders can’t think of anything nice to say about him?” I think you misread my post. Christie’s statement was clear. My “ambiguous” comment was about the Walsh tweet. ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2019, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-cohens-house-testimony/830297/355 "2019-02-28T20:03:39Z")
> [@dasmoocher](#): > > Now Jim Jordan and Mark Meadows, probably the two biggest douches from yesterday and in general, want Cohen to be investigated for perjury. > > I guess that might be the last card to play, since they can’t defend Trump himself. Wow, those two! Yes, they were among the more outstanding douches of the bunch, but there were a couple more slithering around yesterday. And yes, Meadows was the one who told voters that “2012 is the time we’re going to take back our country. We’re going to send Mr. Obama home to Kenya or wherever it is. We’re gonna do it.” ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2019, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-cohens-house-testimony/830297/356 "2019-02-28T20:14:52Z")
> [@scr4](#): > > That was Joe **Wilson**. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Ulf\_the\_Unwashed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Ulf\_the\_Unwashed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulf_the_Unwashed)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2019, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-cohens-house-testimony/830297/357 "2019-02-28T22:00:04Z")
> [@wolfpup](#): > > Wow, those two! Yes, they were among the more outstanding douches of the bunch, but there were a couple more slithering around yesterday. And yes, Meadows was the one who told voters that “2012 is the time we’re going to take back our country. We’re going to send Mr. Obama home to Kenya or wherever it is. We’re gonna do it.” They reminded me of Crabbe and Goyle, Draco Malfoy’s sycophants in the Harry Potter books. “You just better not say that about my hero, you get what I’m saying?” ---
**Author:** ![Yookeroo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yookeroo/32/323_2.png) [@Yookeroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yookeroo)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2019, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-cohens-house-testimony/830297/358 "2019-02-28T23:14:07Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > His meaning seemed pretty clear to me. I think the issue is on your end, not his. Yeah. It was clear to me too. I didn’t know that he had turned anti-Trump and it was still clear to me. ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2019, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-cohens-house-testimony/830297/359 "2019-03-01T00:38:04Z")
Wow, this stupid Walsh digression has really taken on a life of its own. Frankly I don’t really give a shit what this douchebag meant, but OK, in the interests of a lesson for me in the English language, a language in which I’m apparently deficient, let’s be charitable and contribute to my education. Here is what Walsh said: \*No Republican today defended the character of Donald Trump. No Republican today defended the veracity of Donald Trump. No Republican today refuted the potential crimes committed by Donald Trump. Every Republican today attacked Michael Cohen. That’s all. \* Here are the two possible interpretations that I suggested, now that we know that Walsh is anti-Trump (which, again, I did not know at the time I made the original comment): 1. a condemnation of Republicans who were implicitly supporting Trump by attacking Cohen’s credibility 2. a condemnation of Trump on the basis that his support is fading: “there hasn’t been one Republican yet who’s tried to defend the president on the substance. I think that’s something that should be concerning to the White House.” Interpretation #1 is supported by the views of dozens of media pundits, along the general lines of “what the hell would it take for Republicans to EVER stop defending Trump?” Interpretation #2 is supported by some on the right like Chris Christie, along the general lines of “Republicans now refuse to defend Trump, and he’d better start worrying about it”. Maybe I’m missing something obvious. Sometimes that happens, because I’m apparently not very bright. So would any of you highly literate fuckers kindly explain to me why one of those conflicting interpretations of Walsh’s tweet is _ **obviously** _ the correct one, and the other one _ **obviously** _ wrong? Because they are not at all the same. Thanks. I look forward to being a better and more literate and better-behaved Bernese Mountain Dog in the future. I might even stop digging up your flower beds. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2019, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-cohens-house-testimony/830297/360 "2019-03-01T00:52:55Z")
> [@JohnT](#): > > Interesting development: > > > [@](#): > > > > President Trump called @mattgaetz last night from Hanoi to talk the Cohen testimony and the threats (since rescinded) Gaetz made about Cohen. > > “I was happy to do it for you. You just keep killing it,” Gaetz was heard telling him. > > **(Gaetz told me he doesn’t discuss calls w/POTUS)** > > [https://twitter.com/IsaacDovere/status/1101131327137636353](https://twitter.com/IsaacDovere/status/1101131327137636353) > > The source is Edward-Isaac Dovere, staff writer for The Atlantic. Think that’s going to fly with the Florida State Bar, Matt? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-cohens-house-testimony/830297.md?page=17) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-cohens-house-testimony/830297.md?page=19)