# Michael Crichton is a petty bitch. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 14, 2006, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-crichton-is-a-petty-bitch/384167 "2006-12-14T18:57:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Apos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/838e76/32.png) [@Apos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Apos)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2006, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-crichton-is-a-petty-bitch/384167/1 "2006-12-14T18:57:39Z")
Long and the short of it: a reporter named Michael Crowley writes and article pointing out that Bush’s favorite science confidant, Michael Crichton, is a little less than honest or accurate in his anti-global-warming tirade “State of Fear.” Crichton, of course, is too classy to respond to such criticism. What’s his next classy move? This: > [@](#): > > Alex Burnet was in the middle of the most difficult trial of her career, a rape case involving the sexual assault of a two-year-old boy in Malibu. The defendant, thirty-year-old **Mick Crowley** , was a Washington-based political columnist who was visiting his sister-in-law when he experienced an overwhelming urge to have anal sex with her young son, still in diapers. Crowley was a wealthy, spoiled Yale graduate and heir to a pharmaceutical fortune. … > > It turned out Crowley’s taste in love objects was well known in Washington, but [his lawyer]–as was his custom–tried the case vigorously in the press months before the trial, repeatedly characterizing Alex and the child’s mother as “fantasizing feminist fundamentalists” who had made up the whole thing from “their sick, twisted imaginations.” This, despite a well-documented hospital examination of the child. (Crowley’s penis was small, but he had still caused significant tears to the toddler’s rectum.) Hmmmmm… ---
**Author:** ![Apos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/838e76/32.png) [@Apos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Apos)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2006, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-crichton-is-a-petty-bitch/384167/2 "2006-12-14T18:59:45Z")
Oh, whoops, lost the link: [http://www.tpmmuckraker.com/archives/002156.php](http://www.tpmmuckraker.com/archives/002156.php) ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2006, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-crichton-is-a-petty-bitch/384167/3 "2006-12-14T19:01:00Z")
Quote originates from where? ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2006, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-crichton-is-a-petty-bitch/384167/4 "2006-12-14T19:02:09Z")
[QUOTE=Contrapuntal] Quote originates from where? [/QUOTE] Never mind. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2006, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-crichton-is-a-petty-bitch/384167/5 "2006-12-14T19:07:16Z")
Lord God, what an asshole, what a galactic rectum! Lampooning one’s rhetorical enemies is fair game, and an entertaining one as well, but a baby raper? ---
**Author:** ![Apos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/838e76/32.png) [@Apos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Apos)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2006, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-crichton-is-a-petty-bitch/384167/6 "2006-12-14T19:09:08Z")
Oh, sorry: yes the passage in question is from Crichton’s newest airport-reading-must-buy book “Next.” As the article explains, this character is a complete passing reference, with no impact at all on the plot: just a lot of nasty things to say about the mysterious “Mick Crowley,” of the incredibly tiny penis that still manages to tear a child’s rectum like a mofo. ---
**Author:** ![JustAnotherGeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/58f4c7/32.png) [@JustAnotherGeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JustAnotherGeek)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2006, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-crichton-is-a-petty-bitch/384167/7 "2006-12-14T19:10:40Z")
:sniff::sniff: I smell a South Park episode coming from this. This year’s “Biggest Douche in the Universe.” Bet they’ll call the author “Mick Cretin.” I hope they do a bit about how he looks for his own penis with a magnifying glass and tweezers, while he attempts to sodomize a corpse, only to have the corpse re-animate and laugh at him. ---
**Author:** ![Plynck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Plynck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Plynck)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2006, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-crichton-is-a-petty-bitch/384167/8 "2006-12-14T19:15:07Z")
Am I the only one who is more horrified that Michael Crichton is Bush’s favorite science confidant? ---
**Author:** ![Zany\_Zeolite\_Zipper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/4af34b/32.png) [@Zany\_Zeolite\_Zipper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zany_Zeolite_Zipper)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2006, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-crichton-is-a-petty-bitch/384167/9 "2006-12-14T19:20:30Z")
Wow. Pen is mightier than the sword eh? Originally Quoted by: Chaucer > [@](#): > > I will eviscerate you in fiction. Every pimple, every character flaw. I was naked for a day; you will be naked for eternity. Crichton is an incredible asshole, that quote was over the top for almost any slight. ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2006, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-crichton-is-a-petty-bitch/384167/10 "2006-12-14T19:31:12Z")
[QUOTE=elucidator] Lord God, what an asshole, what a galactic rectum! Lampooning one’s rhetorical enemies is fair game, and an entertaining one as well, but a baby raper? [/QUOTE] Not only that, but a needeldick babyraper. ---
**Author:** ![Rube\_E.Tewesday](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f0a364/32.png) [@Rube\_E.Tewesday](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rube_E.Tewesday)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2006, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-crichton-is-a-petty-bitch/384167/11 "2006-12-14T20:30:07Z")
This is the kind of thing I’d expect from a high school kid writing Mary Sues. From an immensely successful veteran writer, it’s pretty pathetic. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2006, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-crichton-is-a-petty-bitch/384167/12 "2006-12-14T20:39:26Z")
[QUOTE=Plynck] Am I the only one who is more horrified that Michael Crichton is Bush’s favorite science confidant? [/QUOTE] I’m horrified about it…but not terribly surprised. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2006, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-crichton-is-a-petty-bitch/384167/13 "2006-12-14T20:41:27Z")
[QUOTE=elucidator] Lord God, what an asshole, what a galactic rectum! Lampooning one’s rhetorical enemies is fair game, and an entertaining one as well, but a baby raper? [/QUOTE] Not sticking up for Crichton, but a person who responds saying > [@](#): > > In lieu of a letter to the editor, Crichton had fictionalized me as a child rapist. And, perhaps worse, falsely branded me a pharmaceutical-industry profiteer. isn’t working with a full deck either. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2006, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-crichton-is-a-petty-bitch/384167/14 "2006-12-14T20:45:25Z")
Does anyone else keep seeing this thread title as **Michael Crichton is a pretty bitch**? ---
**Author:** ![Caridwen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c89c15/32.png) [@Caridwen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caridwen)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2006, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-crichton-is-a-petty-bitch/384167/15 "2006-12-14T20:51:24Z")
Someone ought to mention it on his Amazon review page ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2006, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-crichton-is-a-petty-bitch/384167/16 "2006-12-14T20:58:17Z")
If the OP had presented this story to me without the time frame or the names of the principals, I would have assumed the author was L. Ron Hubbard. It just sounds like his kind of tantrum. And that’s the worst thing I can think to say about Crichton. :mad: ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2006, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-crichton-is-a-petty-bitch/384167/17 "2006-12-14T21:02:17Z")
[QUOTE=Eve] Does anyone else keep seeing this thread title as **Michael Crichton is a pretty bitch**? [/QUOTE] “Mick Crowley” might. May they soon meet. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Raygun99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Raygun99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raygun99)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2006, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-crichton-is-a-petty-bitch/384167/18 "2006-12-14T21:09:12Z")
[QUOTE=JohnT] Not sticking up for Crichton, but a person who responds saying Quote: In lieu of a letter to the editor, Crichton had fictionalized me as a child rapist. And, perhaps worse, falsely branded me a pharmaceutical-industry profiteer. isn’t working with a full deck either. [/QUOTE] I read that as droll sarcasm. ---
**Author:** ![Revenant\_Threshold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f1d935/32.png) [@Revenant\_Threshold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revenant_Threshold)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2006, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-crichton-is-a-petty-bitch/384167/19 "2006-12-14T21:09:32Z")
[QUOTE=JohnT] Not sticking up for Crichton, but a person who responds saying > [@](#): > > In lieu of a letter to the editor, Crichton had fictionalized me as a child rapist. And, perhaps worse, falsely branded me a pharmaceutical-industry profiteer. isn’t working with a full deck either. [/QUOTE] I suppose you could make the argument that he’s clearly not a baby raper, but that he _could_ be a pharmaceutical industry profiteer, so the second insult is the one more likely to hurt his image; but you’re right, that’s a pretty odd set of priorities. 😕 ---
**Author:** ![you\_with\_the\_face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ecccb3/32.png) [@you\_with\_the\_face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/you_with_the_face)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2006, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-crichton-is-a-petty-bitch/384167/20 "2006-12-14T21:12:06Z")
[QUOTE=Raygun99] I read that as droll sarcasm. [/QUOTE] I did, too. The ironic tone is pretty obvious. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-crichton-is-a-petty-bitch/384167.md?page=2)