# Michael Douglas Makes Powerful Statement About the Dangers of Pleasuring Catherine Zeta Jones **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 4, 2013, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-douglas-makes-powerful-statement-about-the-dangers-of-pleasuring-catherine-zeta-jones/660110 "2013-06-04T13:13:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-douglas-makes-powerful-statement-about-the-dangers-of-pleasuring-catherine-zeta-jones/660110/1 "2013-06-04T13:13:52Z")
Luckily, of all the causes of cancer, sticking your tongue in Catherine Zeta Jones is among the easiest to avoid. [From here](http://www.guardian.co.uk/film/2013/jun/02/michael-douglas-oral-sex-cancer): > [@](#): > > In a surprisingly frank interview with the Guardian, the actor… explained the background to a condition that was thought to be nearly fatal when diagnosed three years ago. Asked whether he now regretted his years of smoking and drinking, usually thought to be the cause of the disease, Douglas replied: “No. Because without wanting to get too specific, this particular cancer is caused by HPV [human papillomavirus], which actually comes about from cunnilingus.” I’m sort of divided between “Way TMI, Michael” and “This might really help people avoid a form of cancer”; it is amazing how many people believe oral sex is relatively risk free. More likely it’s just going to give a lot of men an excuse they were looking for to go to sleep after Jay Leno. (“I’d love to, honey, but then I’d get Michael Douglas cancer and where would we be?”) Ironic that he went from discussing the cancer caused by his cunnilingus to playing the aggressively anti-cunnilingus-performing Liberace, who died from another STD. Apparently Douglas really wants to drive home the dangers of unprotected sex. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-douglas-makes-powerful-statement-about-the-dangers-of-pleasuring-catherine-zeta-jones/660110/2 "2013-06-04T13:23:44Z")
Since we don’t have a sequential threads thread going right now, I’ll point it out here. When I opened this forum just now, I saw **Michael Douglas Makes Powerful Statement About the Dangers of Pleasuring Catherine Zeta Jones** **How do you get the smell of onions off your fingers?** ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-douglas-makes-powerful-statement-about-the-dangers-of-pleasuring-catherine-zeta-jones/660110/3 "2013-06-04T13:27:53Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > Since we don’t have a sequential threads thread going right now, I’ll point it out here. When I opened this forum just now, I saw > > **Michael Douglas Makes Powerful Statement About the Dangers of Pleasuring Catherine Zeta Jones** > > **How do you get the smell of onions off your fingers?** 😃 ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-douglas-makes-powerful-statement-about-the-dangers-of-pleasuring-catherine-zeta-jones/660110/4 "2013-06-04T13:30:44Z")
OTOH, Michael has got what has to be the Ultimate Domestic Trump card. “Michael, can you take out the garbage?” “Your pussy gave me cancer!” “Michael, remember we’re having dinner with my mother tomorrow.” “Pleasuring you almost killed me.” It just keeps on giving! ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-douglas-makes-powerful-statement-about-the-dangers-of-pleasuring-catherine-zeta-jones/660110/5 "2013-06-04T13:31:47Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > **Michael Douglas Makes Powerful Statement About the Dangers of Pleasuring Catherine Zeta Jones** > > **How do you get the smell of onions off your fingers?** You are a bad, bad person. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-douglas-makes-powerful-statement-about-the-dangers-of-pleasuring-catherine-zeta-jones/660110/6 "2013-06-04T13:33:43Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > OTOH, Michael has got what has to be the Ultimate Domestic Trump card. > > “Michael, can you take out the garbage?” > “Your pussy gave me cancer!” I can totally hear that exchange in a 1970s John Waters film starring Divine as the cancer carrier. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-douglas-makes-powerful-statement-about-the-dangers-of-pleasuring-catherine-zeta-jones/660110/7 "2013-06-04T13:35:05Z")
To be fair to CZJ, he has also admitted to being a sex addict in the past. So you can’t really know that he got it from any one woman. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-douglas-makes-powerful-statement-about-the-dangers-of-pleasuring-catherine-zeta-jones/660110/8 "2013-06-04T13:40:53Z")
His wife prior to CZJ has publicly stated that her junk is (and always has been) clean. I cannot imagine her humiliation. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-douglas-makes-powerful-statement-about-the-dangers-of-pleasuring-catherine-zeta-jones/660110/9 "2013-06-04T13:40:58Z")
Wasn’t he performing cunnilingus on an onion? ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-douglas-makes-powerful-statement-about-the-dangers-of-pleasuring-catherine-zeta-jones/660110/10 "2013-06-04T14:05:55Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > Luckily, of all the causes of cancer, sticking your tongue in Catherine Zeta Jones is among the easiest to avoid. Speak for yourself. ---
**Author:** ![zoog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7ea924/32.png) [@zoog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoog)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-douglas-makes-powerful-statement-about-the-dangers-of-pleasuring-catherine-zeta-jones/660110/11 "2013-06-04T15:04:19Z")
If eating pussy is gonna kill me, well hey, I’ve gotta die of something someday… ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-douglas-makes-powerful-statement-about-the-dangers-of-pleasuring-catherine-zeta-jones/660110/12 "2013-06-04T15:08:27Z")
I love Michael Douglas’ quote - “Without getting too specific…” Could anybody else read between the lines that when he said “it comes about from cunnilingus” he meant “it comes about from cunnilingus”? ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-douglas-makes-powerful-statement-about-the-dangers-of-pleasuring-catherine-zeta-jones/660110/13 "2013-06-04T15:10:52Z")
Personally, I’d be willing to take the risk. ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim_r.mortiss/32/142_2.png) [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_R.Mortiss)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-douglas-makes-powerful-statement-about-the-dangers-of-pleasuring-catherine-zeta-jones/660110/14 "2013-06-04T15:12:59Z")
I think he’s been sucking on Gene Wilder. That guy spreads cancer like Typhoid Mary. ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-douglas-makes-powerful-statement-about-the-dangers-of-pleasuring-catherine-zeta-jones/660110/15 "2013-06-04T15:13:42Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > it is amazing how many people believe oral sex is relatively risk free. . I’m one of those people. Emphasis on _relatively_. And, as **zoog** pointed out, if we’re doing a risk/benefit analysis, I know where I’m going to end up on this one. ---
**Author:** ![Baron\_Greenback](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baron_greenback/32/48_2.png) [@Baron\_Greenback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baron_Greenback)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-douglas-makes-powerful-statement-about-the-dangers-of-pleasuring-catherine-zeta-jones/660110/16 "2013-06-04T15:14:38Z")
[Catherine Zeta Jones’ Mother “catatonic”](http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/celebrity/catherine-zeta-joness-mother-catatonic-2013060370642) ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-douglas-makes-powerful-statement-about-the-dangers-of-pleasuring-catherine-zeta-jones/660110/17 "2013-06-04T15:17:29Z")
> [@Baron\_Greenback](#): > > [Catherine Zeta Jones’ Mother “catatonic”](http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/celebrity/catherine-zeta-joness-mother-catatonic-2013060370642) I’m speechless. ---
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-douglas-makes-powerful-statement-about-the-dangers-of-pleasuring-catherine-zeta-jones/660110/18 "2013-06-04T15:35:36Z")
His rep now [denies](http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/michael-douglas-cancer-oral-sex-561975) that he was talking about his cancer specifically, but about cancer in general. ---
**Author:** ![fumster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e9c0ed/32.png) [@fumster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fumster)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-douglas-makes-powerful-statement-about-the-dangers-of-pleasuring-catherine-zeta-jones/660110/19 "2013-06-04T15:40:47Z")
Up to now I thought it just caused lockjaw. > [@](#): > > Catherine Zeta Jones’ Mother “catatonic” Pussy’s got her tongue? ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-douglas-makes-powerful-statement-about-the-dangers-of-pleasuring-catherine-zeta-jones/660110/20 "2013-06-04T15:49:52Z")
The CDC said that cunnilingus with Catherine Zeta Jones has caused more cases of cancer in the past 20 years than smoking, radiation, and witchcraft combined. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-douglas-makes-powerful-statement-about-the-dangers-of-pleasuring-catherine-zeta-jones/660110.md?page=2)