# Michael Ellis, please remove the stick from your ass. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 18, 2003, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-ellis-please-remove-the-stick-from-your-ass/182698 "2003-06-18T14:06:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![cheddarsnax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@cheddarsnax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cheddarsnax)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-ellis-please-remove-the-stick-from-your-ass/182698/41 "2003-06-18T23:59:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tars Tarkas \* > \*\*I’ll report you! For reporting me! \*\* Oh cut it out, or I’ll report you for reporting to us that you’re reporting him for reporting you. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2003, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-ellis-please-remove-the-stick-from-your-ass/182698/42 "2003-06-19T00:01:22Z")
This entire thread and all posts within are inane. \*\*You’ve all been… REPORTED!!! REPEATEDLY!!!\*\* [sub]Extra exclamation marks created specially for **Sailor** [/sub] ---
**Author:** ![cheddarsnax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@cheddarsnax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cheddarsnax)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2003, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-ellis-please-remove-the-stick-from-your-ass/182698/43 "2003-06-19T00:01:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Aslan2 \* > \*\*I can’t get a fucking break in life, can’t get a fucking break on this fucking board. \*\* Well fuck, that fucking sucks, doesn’t it. Fuck. ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2003, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-ellis-please-remove-the-stick-from-your-ass/182698/44 "2003-06-19T00:02:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by samarm \* > \*\*I think you’re wrong, lno. It would be more like a rabid badger PCP’d to the eyeballs. Small point, but I thought it was worth pointing out. > > Oh, shit, is Aslan2 going to report me also now? \*\* **REPORTED!** ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2003, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-ellis-please-remove-the-stick-from-your-ass/182698/45 "2003-06-19T00:03:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Aslan2 \* > \*\*Fuck you. \*\* Oh if only somebody would. ---
**Author:** ![Atreyu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@Atreyu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atreyu)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2003, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-ellis-please-remove-the-stick-from-your-ass/182698/46 "2003-06-19T00:04:28Z")
Isn’t the character of Aslan from the Narnia books supposed to be a Christ allegory? I’m trying to picture the big JC telling Pontius Pilate to “fuck off”, and that he’s been officially reported to Rome. ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2003, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-ellis-please-remove-the-stick-from-your-ass/182698/47 "2003-06-19T00:04:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Aslan2 \* > **Just so you know, I reported you for posting inane comments that have nothing even slightly related to the OP repeatedly.** And on behalf of the staff, I’d like to thank you for the best chuckle of the day. Carry on, ppl. ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2003, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-ellis-please-remove-the-stick-from-your-ass/182698/48 "2003-06-19T00:04:55Z")
MELTDOWN! MELTDOWN! MELTDOWN! ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2003, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-ellis-please-remove-the-stick-from-your-ass/182698/49 "2003-06-19T00:07:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Coldfire \* > \*\*And on behalf of the staff, I’d like to thank you for the best chuckle of the day. > > Carry on, ppl. \*\* **REPORTED!** ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2003, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-ellis-please-remove-the-stick-from-your-ass/182698/50 "2003-06-19T00:11:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Atreyu \* > \*\*Isn’t the character of Aslan from the Narnia books supposed to be a Christ allegory? > > I’m trying to picture the big JC telling Pontius Pilate to “fuck off”, and that he’s been officially reported to Rome. \*\* But this is **Aslan2** , the second coming of Aslan, aka JC. Jesus is back and he’s pissed. ---
**Author:** ![Wikkit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c0e974/32.png) [@Wikkit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wikkit)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2003, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-ellis-please-remove-the-stick-from-your-ass/182698/51 "2003-06-19T00:16:15Z")
Fucking fuck, **Cold** fucking **fire** , can’t any fucking one get posts fucking removed from their own fucking thread just because they don’t fucking like the fucking posts ? The still fucking can’t? Good to fucking hear. Fuckin-A: Two points to Aslan, for starting the thread and for staying. Four points to **Miller** , one for posting, three for geing a great guy. Five points for **Coldie** , plus one point for each time he showed it to any other mod. Six for **Michael** , for impetusing. Finally, Seven for **Tars** , one for each post minus one for using a wide angle annoyance, rather than the laser-like button-pushing of the truly great pit denizens. ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2003, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-ellis-please-remove-the-stick-from-your-ass/182698/52 "2003-06-19T00:17:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Giraffe \* > \*\*But this is **Aslan2** , the second coming of Aslan, aka JC. > > Jesus is back and he’s pissed. \*\* I thought maybe it was Aslan’s defective clone. But what do I know? I’m just a lame elitist jerkoff. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2003, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-ellis-please-remove-the-stick-from-your-ass/182698/53 "2003-06-19T00:18:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Aslan2 \* > \*\*Hey, Tars Tarkas, I need help writing my suicide note. Can you maybe help me edit it, so it won’t be so lame? > > I can’t get a fucking break in life, can’t get a fucking break on this fucking board. \*\* Um, **Aslan** , are you okay for real? No matter how difficult the board may get at times, nothing is worth getting this upset over. If you’d like someone to talk to, my email is in my profile, and I’m pretty much always available these days. Take care of yourself. ---
**Author:** ![samarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4da419/32.png) [@samarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samarm)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2003, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-ellis-please-remove-the-stick-from-your-ass/182698/54 "2003-06-19T00:18:42Z")
[movie voice over guy] He was man from humble beginnings. They thought they could stop him. They were wrong. Now hes back from the dead, and ths time its PERSONAL. [/movie voice over guy] ---
**Author:** ![Atreyu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@Atreyu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atreyu)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2003, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-ellis-please-remove-the-stick-from-your-ass/182698/55 "2003-06-19T00:21:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Giraffe \* > \*\*But this is **Aslan2** , the second coming of Aslan, aka JC. > > Jesus is back and he’s pissed. \*\* **Aslan2: Electric Boogaloo** ---
**Author:** ![Briny\_Deep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/briny_deep/32/17188_2.png) [@Briny\_Deep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Briny_Deep)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2003, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-ellis-please-remove-the-stick-from-your-ass/182698/56 "2003-06-19T00:21:10Z")
**Aslan** , dude, you seriously reported a post in this thread to a moderator? They won’t be too happy about it, I don’t think. I’ve heard that function should only be used when you suspect a (real) troll, or when some grave offense has been committed that you think a moderator needs to address ASAP. It probably shouldn’t be used to report posts that merely annoy you. No grave offense has been committed here. Unsolicited advice? Step away from the computer for a bit. You’re behaving out of character, IMO. Normally you’re a poster I enjoy, but you’re taking this thread – and the one that spawned it – WAY too seriously. Nobody is out to get you, even if you feel like you can’t get no respect. It was good-natured – even affectionate – razzing, until you sort of blew up on us. Don’t crash and burn. You’re an interesting poster. Maybe you’ll feel differently about all this tomorrow. ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2003, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-ellis-please-remove-the-stick-from-your-ass/182698/57 "2003-06-19T00:25:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Giraffe \* > \*\*But this is **Aslan2** , the second coming of Aslan, aka JC. > > Jesus is back and he’s pissed. \*\* **REPORTED!** 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2003, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-ellis-please-remove-the-stick-from-your-ass/182698/58 "2003-06-19T00:27:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tars Tarkas \* > \*\ ***REPORTED!** 😛 \*\* **REPORTED!** ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2003, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-ellis-please-remove-the-stick-from-your-ass/182698/59 "2003-06-19T00:28:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Michael Ellis \* > \*\ ***REPORTED!** \*\* **RETORTED!** 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2003, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-ellis-please-remove-the-stick-from-your-ass/182698/60 "2003-06-19T00:29:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Atreyu \* > \*\ ***Aslan2: Electric Boogaloo** \*\* You know, I’ll bet Christianity would get a new recruits by the shitloads if the book of Revelations was renamed “Jesus 2: Electric Boogaloo.” Any ministers or priests reading this can feel free to use my idea without giving me credit, I don’t mind. I’m just happy to make a difference. Or help **Atreyu** make a difference, either one. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-ellis-please-remove-the-stick-from-your-ass/182698.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-ellis-please-remove-the-stick-from-your-ass/182698.md?page=4)