# Michael Ellis, please remove the stick from your ass. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 18, 2003, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-ellis-please-remove-the-stick-from-your-ass/182698 "2003-06-18T14:06:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Aslan\_of\_Narnia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecd19e/32.png) [@Aslan\_of\_Narnia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aslan_of_Narnia)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2003, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-ellis-please-remove-the-stick-from-your-ass/182698/61 "2003-06-19T00:31:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by hopefool \* > \*\*Um, **Aslan** , are you okay for real? No matter how difficult the board may get at times, nothing is worth getting this upset over. If you’d like someone to talk to, my email is in my profile, and I’m pretty much always available these days. Take care of yourself. \*\* no im not ok. ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2003, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-ellis-please-remove-the-stick-from-your-ass/182698/62 "2003-06-19T00:32:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tars Tarkas \* > \*\ ***RETORTED!** \*\* 😛 > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Michael Ellis \* > **RETORTED!** > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Tars Tarkas_ > **RETORTED!** 😉 **RETORTED!** ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2003, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-ellis-please-remove-the-stick-from-your-ass/182698/63 "2003-06-19T00:36:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Michael Ellis \* > \*\ ***RETORTED!** \*\* **DEPORTED!** ---
**Author:** ![Lissa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lissa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissa)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2003, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-ellis-please-remove-the-stick-from-your-ass/182698/64 "2003-06-19T00:36:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Aslan2 \* > \*\*Hey, Tars Tarkas, I need help writing my suicide note. Can you maybe help me edit it, so it won’t be so lame? > > I can’t get a fucking break in life, can’t get a fucking break on this fucking board. \*\* Man, I really hope that was a joke. Call me old fashioned and caring, but please never contemplate suicide, or joke about it, over things like this. I have no opinion on your rant, but I guess I am little sensitive to these sort of comments since sometimes they mean somebody is reaching out. ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2003, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-ellis-please-remove-the-stick-from-your-ass/182698/65 "2003-06-19T00:37:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tars Tarkas \* > \*\ ***DEPORTED!** \*\* **RECORDED!** ---
**Author:** ![samarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4da419/32.png) [@samarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samarm)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2003, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-ellis-please-remove-the-stick-from-your-ass/182698/66 "2003-06-19T00:37:38Z")
You can’t handle people posting rude comments? Don’t hang out in the pit then. If reading this thread is messing you up then log off and switch the computer off for a while, seriously. Nobody is forcing you to read this thread. And mentioning suicide notes is no way to win sympathy. It is a pretty low tactic. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2003, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-ellis-please-remove-the-stick-from-your-ass/182698/67 "2003-06-19T00:38:06Z")
**Aslan2** -how old are you, first of all? Second-chill the fuck out. Third-if you are seriously depressed enough to have suicidal thoughts-please, log out, turn off the computer, and get help. ASAP. ---
**Author:** ![Flamsterette\_X](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/41988e/32.png) [@Flamsterette\_X](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flamsterette_X)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2003, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-ellis-please-remove-the-stick-from-your-ass/182698/68 "2003-06-19T00:41:44Z")
But if **Michael Ellis** reports **Coldfire** ’s post to the Pit mods, will they necessarily do anything about it? Or will it just be a case of “well, he’s a fellow mod… so he can certainly do what he likes” among the pair of 'em? (I’m assuming **Lynn Bodoni** is too laid up to do much moderating, especially given her doctor’s advice not to sit for long periods of time) F\_X ---
**Author:** ![Atreyu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@Atreyu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atreyu)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2003, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-ellis-please-remove-the-stick-from-your-ass/182698/69 "2003-06-19T00:43:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Michael Ellis \* > \*\ ***RECORDED!** \*\* **CONTORTED!** ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2003, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-ellis-please-remove-the-stick-from-your-ass/182698/70 "2003-06-19T00:43:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Flamsterette\_X \* > \*\*But if **Michael Ellis** reports **Coldfire** ’s post to the Pit mods, will they necessarily do anything about it? Or will it just be a case of “well, he’s a fellow mod… so he can certainly do what he likes” among the pair of 'em? > \*\* **REPORTED!** [sub]Whoosh?[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2003, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-ellis-please-remove-the-stick-from-your-ass/182698/71 "2003-06-19T00:43:53Z")
**Aslan** , then again, if you’d like someone to talk to, please email me. I know I’m an old woman and all, being over 30, but having been in a pretty bad way myself (even recently), I’d certainly like to help someone out who’s going through a similar situation. I’ll be here for a while tonight. And **Guin** , if IIRC from having read previous posts of his, I believe he is 14. ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2003, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-ellis-please-remove-the-stick-from-your-ass/182698/72 "2003-06-19T00:45:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Atreyu \* > \*\ ***CONTORTED!** \*\* **REWARDED!** ---
**Author:** ![Aslan\_of\_Narnia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecd19e/32.png) [@Aslan\_of\_Narnia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aslan_of_Narnia)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2003, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-ellis-please-remove-the-stick-from-your-ass/182698/73 "2003-06-19T00:45:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by samarm \* > \*\* > > And mentioning suicide notes is no way to win sympathy. It is a pretty low tactic. \*\* what the fuck does sympathy have to do with it? i’m just informing them as to what they’ve done to me. ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2003, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-ellis-please-remove-the-stick-from-your-ass/182698/74 "2003-06-19T00:54:23Z")
All right **Aslan2** , enough is enough. This is the Pit. If your complaint is not up to scratch, you _will_ get called on it - as you have seen now. I have no idea whether your suicide statements are for real, or some sort of sick joke. If it’s the first, please get professional help as soon as possible. Log off, call comeone, a friend, your doctor, a family member. If it’s the second, we don’t appreciate that kind of humour around here. Either way, this thread has run its course. Closed. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-ellis-please-remove-the-stick-from-your-ass/182698.md?page=3)