# Michael Jackson converts to Islam **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 21, 2008, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-converts-to-islam/473872 "2008-11-21T17:45:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2008, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-converts-to-islam/473872/1 "2008-11-21T17:45:49Z")
[No, really.](http://music.ndtv.com/story.asp?id=ENTEN20080073502) I don’t **think** Islam (as distinct from Arab culture) is particularly accepting of the NAMBLA way . . . ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2008, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-converts-to-islam/473872/2 "2008-11-21T17:54:54Z")
“Jackson also noted he intends to soon move all his assets and his studio from the U.S. to Bahrain, and expressed his hope to be rid of various legal troubles and enjoy the kind of freedom he says he does not have in America.” [Snicker.](http://www.watchtowerinformationservice.org/index.php/stories-biographies/michael-jackson-going-muslim-and-building-a-mosque/) ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2008, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-converts-to-islam/473872/3 "2008-11-21T18:01:43Z")
This is why the Muslims need the equivalent of a Pope: so there would be a single leader empowered to say, “Um, no thanks. You can stay with the infidels, thankyouverymuch.” ---
**Author:** ![WormTheRed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/bbe5ce/32.png) [@WormTheRed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WormTheRed)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2008, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-converts-to-islam/473872/4 "2008-11-21T18:41:26Z")
I don’t think the “40 virgins in Paradise” means what he think it means. ---
**Author:** ![constanze](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f9ae1b/32.png) [@constanze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/constanze)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2008, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-converts-to-islam/473872/5 "2008-11-21T19:05:26Z")
Did he loose so much money in court that he couldn’t afford to turn NAMBLA into a new religion? That would be the best way fo rhim, wouldn’t it? And if he converts little boys and their parents, freedom of religion and brainwashing makes things peachy (see the apocalypse-type cults where the charismatic leader sleeps with teenage girls and nobody in the cult has a problem with that…) ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2008, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-converts-to-islam/473872/6 "2008-11-21T19:10:15Z")
I stopped taking this guy seriously a while back (around the white glove stage, I think), but I’m kinda curious… was he ever actually found guilty of pedophilia? ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2008, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-converts-to-islam/473872/7 "2008-11-21T19:22:02Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > “Jackson also noted he intends to soon move all his assets and his studio from the U.S. to Bahrain, and expressed his hope to be rid of various legal troubles and enjoy the kind of freedom he says he does not have in America.” > > [Snicker.](http://www.watchtowerinformationservice.org/index.php/stories-biographies/michael-jackson-going-muslim-and-building-a-mosque/) What about the arab prince who is now suing Jackson because while Jackson was living with the prince (and wearing a burqua) he was supposed to be recording an album, but never did? That’s technically theft, isn’t it? Don’t they usually cut your hand off for that sort of thing over there? ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2008, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-converts-to-islam/473872/8 "2008-11-21T19:31:15Z")
> [@Tuckerfan](#): > > Don’t they usually cut your hand off for that sort of thing over there? Oh cripes, just what he needs - more surgery. ---
**Author:** ![vison](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/e47774/32.png) [@vison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vison)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2008, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-converts-to-islam/473872/9 "2008-11-21T19:36:46Z")
Hmph. I would think surgery below the waist might be appropriate. Extreme surgery. And to think he still has fans. ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2008, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-converts-to-islam/473872/10 "2008-11-21T19:46:24Z")
Dear Middle East, He’s your problem now. Love, The Great Satan. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2008, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-converts-to-islam/473872/11 "2008-11-21T19:46:50Z")
> [@vison](#): > > And to think he still has fans. When he went to be arraigned in Los Angeles on child-molestation charges, there were massive public demonstrations in his support – in LA, Moscow, Mexico City and Beijing. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2008, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-converts-to-islam/473872/12 "2008-11-21T20:11:03Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#): > > I stopped taking this guy seriously a while back (around the white glove stage, I think), but I’m kinda curious… When did he lose his sanity? I never really followed his career, but did it start shortly after his head caught fire? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Scrivener](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@The\_Scrivener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Scrivener)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2008, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-converts-to-islam/473872/13 "2008-11-21T20:25:40Z")
I can’t wait 'til his kids hit their 'tweener and adolescent years – jeesh, for most of us, growing up in a relatively normal family is sufficient grounds for adolescent rebellion. MJ’s converting and moving to Bahrain (provided he ever does so) would just be the icing on the seven-tier cake of weirdness and dysfunction that is his life. ---
**Author:** ![jali](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecae2f/32.png) [@jali](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jali)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2008, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-converts-to-islam/473872/14 "2008-11-21T22:18:25Z")
> [@WormTheRed](#): > > I don’t think the “40 virgins in Paradise” means what he think it means. Funniest thing I’ve read today! ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2008, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-converts-to-islam/473872/15 "2008-11-21T22:44:08Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > When did he lose his sanity? I never really followed his career, but did it start shortly after his head caught fire? I don’t think he was ever sane. ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2008, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-converts-to-islam/473872/16 "2008-11-21T22:54:24Z")
Somebody needs to knock off the Jesus Juice. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2008, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-converts-to-islam/473872/17 "2008-11-22T00:08:45Z")
From **carnivorousplant** ’s link: > [@](#): > > “The proposed mosque would be designated for learning the principles and teachings of Islam, as well as teaching of English language, for which high-standard teachers would be brought from United States under his personal supervision, the spokesman said. High-standard teachers of English? Under his personal supervision? Hmm…why am I thinking that he will claim to be very impressed with the linguistic skills of 9-year-old boys? ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2008, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-converts-to-islam/473872/18 "2008-11-22T00:22:51Z")
> [@Scissorjack](#): > > Somebody needs to knock off the Jesus Juice. As a Muslim, yes, he does. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![WormTheRed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/bbe5ce/32.png) [@WormTheRed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WormTheRed)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2008, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-converts-to-islam/473872/19 "2008-11-22T00:24:52Z")
> [@jali](#): > > Funniest thing I’ve read today! Thank you. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2008, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-converts-to-islam/473872/20 "2008-11-22T00:27:57Z")
> [@vison](#): > > Hmph. I would think surgery below the waist might be appropriate. Extreme surgery. > > And to think he still has fans. I was sitting here thinking “fans” was a euphemism for genitalia of some sort. :smack: [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-converts-to-islam/473872.md?page=2)