# Michael Jackson is alive! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 26, 2009, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-is-alive/501032 "2009-06-26T02:55:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2009, 6:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-is-alive/501032/21 "2009-06-26T06:27:54Z")
No, that **ebbtide** ’s a zombie troll. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2009, 7:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-is-alive/501032/22 "2009-06-26T07:49:28Z")
> [@ebbtide3721](#): > > Goodnight family! I love you in every American way. > -AB, Fl. At least it’s not in the Liechtensteinian way. ---
**Author:** ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2009, 8:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-is-alive/501032/23 "2009-06-26T08:59:54Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > My cat’s breath smells like bullshit. What on earth are you feeding your cat??? ---
**Author:** ![Tristan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tristan/32/18058_2.png) [@Tristan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tristan)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2009, 9:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-is-alive/501032/24 "2009-06-26T09:09:16Z")
> [@Dijon\_Warlock](#): > > What on earth are you feeding your cat??? Observational theories, looks like. ---
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2009, 10:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-is-alive/501032/25 "2009-06-26T10:38:59Z")
It all makes perfect sense: Elvis really is alive, Paul McCartney really is dead, and Micheal Jackson is really a bricklayer from Paterson, New Jersey named Leon Kompowski. Or maybe it doesn’t. ---
**Author:** ![Locrian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/locrian/32/14146_2.png) [@Locrian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Locrian)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2009, 10:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-is-alive/501032/26 "2009-06-26T10:50:00Z")
> [@cmyk](#): > > Yeh, I was just talking about this with my wife and friend. He might go on to be spotted even more than Elvis. Shoot, our OP already has him hanging out with Farrah, fergodsakes. There was at least 50 MJs out in Hollywood tonight. Where in the hell is my rip-off “Beat It” jacket?? ---
**Author:** ![Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/half_man_half_wit/32/21766_2.png) [@Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Half_Man_Half_Wit)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2009, 11:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-is-alive/501032/27 "2009-06-26T11:04:50Z")
Is this some kind of record for fastest conspiracy theory ever? > [@Sage\_Rat](#): > > Zombie Je…Jackson! Flee! Flee for your liiiiiiiiiiiiiiives! Though, in MJ’s case, he’s probably less undead than merely recycled. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2009, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-is-alive/501032/28 "2009-06-26T13:19:15Z")
> [@ebbtide3721](#): > > No, I wasn’t angry, I just reposted it in it’s proper.Why is there so much hostility towards my observational theory? Forum rules prevent an honest answer. ---
**Author:** ![smoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@smoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smoke)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2009, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-is-alive/501032/29 "2009-06-26T16:34:44Z")
I guess I just want to know what the OP did to edit this post. Did you go back in after the fact to remove the paragraph breaks and all-around rationality, or was it somehow worse before? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Hamster\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8edcca/32.png) [@The\_Hamster\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Hamster_King)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2009, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-is-alive/501032/30 "2009-06-26T16:53:19Z")
> [@ebbtide3721](#): > > Part of my theory states that he’s alive. Read it carefully and tell me why it can’t be true. I think you’re Michael Jackson. Prove me wrong. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2009, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-is-alive/501032/31 "2009-06-26T17:18:52Z")
> [@Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](#): > > Is this some kind of record for fastest conspiracy theory ever? No, people were already speculating that he wasn’t really dead in the original MJ death threads. Although “maybe it’s a publicity stunt !” is more rational than the OP. ---
**Author:** ![ebbtide3721](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e5b9ba/32.png) [@ebbtide3721](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ebbtide3721)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2009, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-is-alive/501032/32 "2009-06-26T17:22:31Z")
> [@ebbtide3721](#): > > No, I wasn’t angry, I just reposted it in it’s proper.Why is there so much hostility towards my observational theory? That’s about as honest as it get’s. This subject wasn’t easy to keep alive(excuse the pun). ---
**Author:** ![ebbtide3721](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e5b9ba/32.png) [@ebbtide3721](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ebbtide3721)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2009, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-is-alive/501032/33 "2009-06-26T17:27:22Z")
> [@The\_Hamster\_King](#): > > I think you’re Michael Jackson. Prove me wrong. Give me your address and I’ll send you a sample of my left butt cheek for you to study. That ought to be enough evidence for you. ---
**Author:** ![ebbtide3721](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e5b9ba/32.png) [@ebbtide3721](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ebbtide3721)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2009, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-is-alive/501032/34 "2009-06-26T17:49:27Z")
Michael Jackson probably is dead,but there’s a small possibility that he’s alive. People have faked there own deaths in the past(usually for insurance reasons). In Michael’s case he would do it to escape the massive horde of media fed mutants that used to be his fans. Whether he’s dead or just playing dead,who knows? In either situation, it was the public that killed Michael Jackson. All their jokes and accusations gave the man a heart attack. I’m lookin in the man in the mirror, I’ve already changed his ways. I suggest you do the same(if you haven’t already). My heart goes out to his family. ---
**Author:** ![ReuvenB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9fc348/32.png) [@ReuvenB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ReuvenB)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2009, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-is-alive/501032/35 "2009-06-26T18:02:47Z")
> [@ebbtide3721](#): > > Give me your address and I’ll send you a sample of my left butt cheek for you to study. That ought to be enough evidence for you. Could be anyone’s left butt cheek. ---
**Author:** ![ratatoskK](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ratatoskk/32/2987_2.png) [@ratatoskK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ratatoskK)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2009, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-is-alive/501032/36 "2009-06-26T18:04:13Z")
Michael and Elvis are on Planet X somewhere in space… ---
**Author:** ![ebbtide3721](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e5b9ba/32.png) [@ebbtide3721](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ebbtide3721)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2009, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-is-alive/501032/37 "2009-06-26T18:04:31Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > No, people were already speculating that he wasn’t really dead in the original MJ death threads. Although “maybe it’s a publicity stunt !” is more rational than the OP. Let’s see, he announces he’s going to do a farewell tour and then dies at fifty from a heart attack. Fox News and the LA Times stretch the situation out for ten hours while the public media mutants eat up their stories and click ads. I’d say there’s definitely a publicity stunt going on and it’s possible everything I said is true(possible, but not probable). I’s not irrational to observe the possibility that he may have run away from us. It would be irrational not to. ---
**Author:** ![ebbtide3721](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e5b9ba/32.png) [@ebbtide3721](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ebbtide3721)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2009, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-is-alive/501032/38 "2009-06-26T18:12:38Z")
> [@XWalrus2](#): > > Could be anyone’s left butt cheek. Could be your left butt cheeck…hee…heeee ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2009, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-is-alive/501032/39 "2009-06-26T18:21:54Z")
Big propblem with the theory: there’s a dead body undergoing an autopsy at the LA County Coroner’s office today. If he faked his own death, he’s on the run for the murder of a Michael Jackson impersonator. ---
**Author:** ![Shark\_Sandwich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f04885/32.png) [@Shark\_Sandwich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shark_Sandwich)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2009, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-is-alive/501032/40 "2009-06-26T18:36:40Z")
> [@pravnik](#): > > Big propblem with the theory: there’s a dead body undergoing an autopsy at the LA County Coroner’s office today. If he faked his own death, he’s on the run for the murder of a Michael Jackson impersonator. Well, that could be any straight-haired, bleached skin, 5’9" tall, 100-pound, African American, with extensive plastic surgery, now couldn’t it? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-is-alive/501032.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-is-alive/501032.md?page=3)