# Michael Jackson needs lung transplant, might be dying **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 22, 2008, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-needs-lung-transplant-might-be-dying/478305 "2008-12-22T13:46:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2008, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-needs-lung-transplant-might-be-dying/478305/81 "2008-12-24T00:33:40Z")
I love how in the Fox news article, one of his illnesses is “laziness.” I need a doctor, stat! ---
**Author:** ![Fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bc8723/32.png) [@Fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fish)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2008, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-needs-lung-transplant-might-be-dying/478305/82 "2008-12-24T00:50:31Z")
I always thought that attraction to teenagers was _ephebophilia_, not pedophilia. ---
**Author:** ![Justin\_Bailey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justin_bailey/32/8792_2.png) [@Justin\_Bailey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Bailey)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2008, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-needs-lung-transplant-might-be-dying/478305/83 "2008-12-24T01:23:41Z")
> [@hajario](#): > > You check your math. They revealed their relationship in 1992. She’s 38 now. That would make her 22 at the time. She was 17 in 1987 which is when you said that they first got together. Jesus, Soon-Yi is 38? I knew all that Soon-Yi stuff happened a while ago, but I had no idea she was pushing 40 now. Doesn’t a 20 year relationship with her kind of invalidate all of the pedophilia talk? ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2008, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-needs-lung-transplant-might-be-dying/478305/84 "2008-12-24T01:52:22Z")
> [@jayjay](#): > > Most of the time, I find I agree with you on a lot of things, **Annie** , but I can’t get behind this. Yeah, he’s a probably pedophile, and just a damn weirdo, but I can’t get all Nelson Muntz on somebody who probably has a fatal lung disorder and has a very limited time to live. > > It just seems way too callous. Well, just consider, as is fitting and proper at a time like this, what a . . . rich, full life he has already lived. There are other ways to describe it, but nobody can say that one doesn’t fit. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2008, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-needs-lung-transplant-might-be-dying/478305/85 "2008-12-24T01:59:00Z")
> [@Uvula\_Donor](#): > > Some people will do \*anything \*for attention. [Indeed.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=494080) ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2008, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-needs-lung-transplant-might-be-dying/478305/86 "2008-12-24T02:12:38Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > Yeah, I’ll admit it: I don’t wish bad luck on anyone, but there is a very short list of famous people I will “HA! ha!” when it happens to them. The top three are OJ, Jackson, and Woody Allen. As a guy, I find it impossible to judge Woody Allen harshly. :o ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2008, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-needs-lung-transplant-might-be-dying/478305/87 "2008-12-24T02:16:41Z")
> [@Absolute](#): > > Oh, wonderful. Hopefully he’ll make it until January 1st, so the TV isn’t flooded with Michael Jackson memorial crap during the holidays. Damn, now you’ve got me thinking about the _Michael Jackson Christmas Requiem Special_ . . . directed by David Lynch . . . ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2008, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-needs-lung-transplant-might-be-dying/478305/88 "2008-12-24T03:28:45Z")
Say what you will about Michael, he can’t be the weirdest person in the world. The weirdest person in the world is probably somebody you never heard of, even if he lives in your neighborhood, because nobody much likes to talk about him even for ill. **That** weird. Michael is weird, rich, and famous. When you’re rich and famous, (1) you have opportunities to be weird ordinary people don’t have **(I’ll** never have the Elephant Man’s bones in my foyer! :() and (2) if you are weird, people really, really notice. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2008, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-needs-lung-transplant-might-be-dying/478305/89 "2008-12-24T04:34:30Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > You forgot the denials of plastic surgery even as his nose is literally falling off his face. Why was Diana Ross pulled over for DUI? You’d drink, too, if you looked like Michael Jackson. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2008, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-needs-lung-transplant-might-be-dying/478305/90 "2008-12-26T20:43:58Z")
According to [this,](http://news.yahoo.com/s/eonline/20081223/en_top_eo/74559) Michael is not only denying the rumors, he’s preparing for a world tour! (For some reason, it does not mention that he will be touring with the Super Adventure Club. 😉 ) ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2008, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-needs-lung-transplant-might-be-dying/478305/91 "2008-12-26T20:54:56Z")
Poor Michael, it’s a little late for world tours. It’s time you think about building a small retirement theater in Branson. You can reunite the whole family for an afternoon floor show. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2008, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-needs-lung-transplant-might-be-dying/478305/92 "2008-12-27T01:05:42Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > According to [this,](http://news.yahoo.com/s/eonline/20081223/en_top_eo/74559) Michael is not only denying the rumors, he’s preparing for a world tour! > > (For some reason, it does not mention that he will be touring with the Super Adventure Club. 😉 ) [**Freekalette** beat you to it](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=10607452&postcount=74) with the original source of that story. ---
**Author:** ![Hippy\_Hollow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hippy_hollow/32/4841_2.png) [@Hippy\_Hollow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hippy_Hollow)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2008, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-needs-lung-transplant-might-be-dying/478305/93 "2008-12-27T01:29:25Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > According to [this,](http://news.yahoo.com/s/eonline/20081223/en_top_eo/74559) Michael is not only denying the rumors, he’s preparing for a world tour! > > (For some reason, it does not mention that he will be touring with the Super Adventure Club. 😉 ) From that same article: [QUOTE=EOnline News] “Concerning this author’s allegations, we would hope in the future that legitimate media will not continue to be exploited by such an obvious attempt to promote this unauthorized ‘biography,’” Jackson spokesman Dr. Tohme Tohme said… [/QUOTE] Okay, if your spokesperson is named Tohme Tohme, are you allowed to question sources? Even Boutros Boutros-Ghali doesn’t take someone named Tohme Tohme seriously. ---
**Author:** ![laughingboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9f8e36/32.png) [@laughingboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/laughingboy)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2008, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-needs-lung-transplant-might-be-dying/478305/94 "2008-12-27T01:35:17Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > **I’ll** never have the Elephant Man’s bones in my foyer! ☹ […] If you are weird, people really, really notice. I see what you did there. ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2008, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-needs-lung-transplant-might-be-dying/478305/95 "2008-12-27T01:35:23Z")
> [@Hippy\_Hollow](#): > > Even Boutros Boutros-Ghali doesn’t take someone named Tohme Tohme seriously. Tell it to Sirhan Sirhan. ---
**Author:** ![Jolly\_Roger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/91b2a8/32.png) [@Jolly\_Roger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jolly_Roger)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2008, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-needs-lung-transplant-might-be-dying/478305/96 "2008-12-27T02:46:47Z")
We’ll have to wait and see…but I have said in the past that when MJ dies all of the shit will come out. We’ll probably learn a lot about the sordid details of his life then. i don’t hate Jacko…but i think he is a crazy sonava\*\*\*\*\*. We may find out if I was right. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2008, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-needs-lung-transplant-might-be-dying/478305/97 "2008-12-27T18:04:54Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > Poor Michael, it’s a little late for world tours. It’s time you think about building a small retirement theater in Branson. You can reunite the whole family for an afternoon floor show. I heard some Vegas hotel has been trying to get him to be a permanent fixture. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-needs-lung-transplant-might-be-dying/478305.md?page=4)