# Michael Jackson vs Iraq, who will win? **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [November 19, 2003, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-vs-iraq-who-will-win/214164 "2003-11-19T19:32:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![emacknight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/3ec8ea/32.png) [@emacknight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emacknight)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2003, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-vs-iraq-who-will-win/214164/1 "2003-11-19T19:32:26Z")
Now that California have issued an arrest warrant for Michael Jackson ([CNN](http://edition.cnn.com/2003/SHOWBIZ/Music/11/19/jackson.ranch/index.html)), I have no doubt this will dominate the news for months, like Rosie, Martha, and OJ combined. The question for debate: Will this push Iraq news off the daily cycle? And if so, how long until the US forgets? Its quite possible that by the time Jackson goes to jail (or gets acquitted) the situation in Iraq could be over. So who will win the battle for news supremacy? ---
**Author:** ![minega](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@minega](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minega)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2003, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-vs-iraq-who-will-win/214164/2 "2003-11-19T19:53:20Z")
In the blueee coooorner… Seriously Wacko has been weird for too long to knock something as bloody and dramatic as iraq off the news. I’ll give this one to the war… ---
**Author:** ![GIGObuster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gigobuster/32/421_2.png) [@GIGObuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GIGObuster)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2003, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-vs-iraq-who-will-win/214164/3 "2003-11-19T20:01:37Z")
I think it will be Michael by a nose… That does not mean the Iraq news will be ignored, second place is still important. You have to take into account that the double speak of “we have already democratized Iraq, but we will stay in the bases that the free Iraqis have given us in thanks, and we will have the victory parades before election time” still has to appear. Never mind that many see an about face of the administration regarding Iraq, the powers that be will make sure that the majority will get the twisted version as the truth. [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=223511](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=223511) ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2003, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-vs-iraq-who-will-win/214164/4 "2003-11-19T20:11:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by GIGObuster \* > **I think it will be Michael by a nose…** Eh, I guess someone had to say it. ---
**Author:** ![Mehitabel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@Mehitabel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mehitabel)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2003, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-vs-iraq-who-will-win/214164/5 "2003-11-19T21:28:27Z")
Heh. The Beeb itself is all-Michael now with George and Tony off to the side. ---
**Author:** ![FisherQueen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@FisherQueen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FisherQueen)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2003, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-vs-iraq-who-will-win/214164/6 "2003-11-19T22:27:56Z")
The war’s been going on for months now, and people are always eager to see celebrities humiliated- even one who’s been humiliating himself for so very long. I’m going to say that Jackson will be the lead story, then Bush in England, then the Iraq update. ---
**Author:** ![Aldebaran](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Aldebaran](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aldebaran)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2003, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-vs-iraq-who-will-win/214164/7 "2003-11-19T23:57:15Z")
If so… It once again gives the world a demonstration of how superficial the average US citizen reasons. A country is invaded and occupied by the USA, thousands of people are murdered, people still die there daily on both sides… But let’s put a pop singer and his allegded child abuse in the focus because that is so really important. Rejoice USA. Another Very Important Issue that has all potential to get rid of the boring Iraq story. And then taking in mind that the US coverage of the story isn’t even the story as it is… That would be really boring, all those really graphic images. Well, for those white ravens out there who are still interested in the truth: there are many sources where you can look for it. And I must say:some of them are even based in the USA. For all the others: enjoy The Michael Jackson Story That Changes Your Life For Good. Maybe you can beem it over to the Iraqis who are under US occupation? Export some of the Best of the US Culture. They surely can use some distraction from the daily bloodshed and humiliation overthere. Salaam. A ---
**Author:** ![Aldebaran](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Aldebaran](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aldebaran)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2003, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-vs-iraq-who-will-win/214164/8 "2003-11-20T00:00:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by emacknight \* > Its quite possible that by the time Jackson goes to jail (or gets acquitted) the situation in Iraq could be over. I don’t know how long such a trial takes in the USA, but I’m afraid that the situation in Iraq wont be “over” in a few years to come. Salaam. A ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2003, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-vs-iraq-who-will-win/214164/9 "2003-11-20T00:03:39Z")
Michael, easily. Celebrity + sex is a proven combination; throwing in “child molestation” into the mix is positively explosive. George W. Bush should be giving thanks to Michael tonight. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2003, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-vs-iraq-who-will-win/214164/10 "2003-11-20T00:35:40Z")
Well, Chris Matthews has been on for 30 min so far, and the only subject discussed so far is MJ. It’ll peak in the next few days, become a lower level, but still common story. > [@](#): > > Alde wrote: > It once again gives the world a demonstration of how superficial the average US citizen reasons. Once again you find it necessary to insult Americans.:rolleyes: We have several 24 hr news channels, and they have to fill air time with something. They could broadcast MJ for 20 solid hours per day and we’d still have plenty of time to cover Iraq. This ain’t the old days when you got 1 hr of news per day on the 3 networks. ---
**Author:** ![mascaroni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/dc4da7/32.png) [@mascaroni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mascaroni)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2003, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-vs-iraq-who-will-win/214164/11 "2003-11-20T01:22:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Aldebaran \* > \*\* > A country is invaded and occupied by the USA, thousands of people are murdered… \*\* Surely you’ve got that the wrong way round? Thousands of people were gassed, tortured to death, put through plastic shredders etc…\* then\* the country was invaded. Back to the OP… The egg chasers World Cup Final is on Saturday so Wacko won’t have a look in over here… ---
**Author:** ![XT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xt/32/456_2.png) [@XT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/XT)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2003, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-vs-iraq-who-will-win/214164/12 "2003-11-20T01:29:33Z")
From Aldebaran > [@](#): > > Rejoice USA. Another Very Important Issue that has all potential to get rid of the boring Iraq story. This is actually kind of funny…for Alderbaran anyway. 🙂 God help us, Michael Jackson will probably win in the short term. However, his time in the sun (so to speak) will be short lived, unless his nose falls off again when he’s captured. That might keep the story alive for a while longer, showing abuse of prisoners and such, plus the general gross out factor of just LOOKING at the man (or whatever it is). Eventually people will wander back to the war, the economy, and all the other mundane things that make up our lives. Is this a great country or what?? -XT ---
**Author:** ![aahala](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a88e4f/32.png) [@aahala](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aahala)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2003, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-vs-iraq-who-will-win/214164/13 "2003-11-20T02:48:16Z")
For several years there, we didn’t have enough news to go around. So the cable channels had to make do and talk for days and weeks on the same subject. We now have a temporary surplus of news. Limbaugh, Martha Stewart, Scott Peterson, Iraq, gay marriages and Michael Jackson. And during the NFL season even. Something is going to have to take a back seat until the news folks can work off the excess inventory. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2003, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-vs-iraq-who-will-win/214164/14 "2003-11-20T04:39:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by GIGObuster \* > \*\*I think it will be Michael by a nose… > > \*\* You know you’re going to hell for that one, right? 😃 Seriously, I think we should send Michael over to Iraq. One look at him and they’ll behave. “No, no, please, we’ll do anything you like-just don’t make us look at him!” ---
**Author:** ![GIGObuster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gigobuster/32/421_2.png) [@GIGObuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GIGObuster)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2003, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-vs-iraq-who-will-win/214164/15 "2003-11-20T04:55:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Guinastasia \* > \*\*You know you’re going to hell for that one, right? > > 😃 > > Seriously, I think we should send Michael over to Iraq. One look at him and they’ll behave. > > “No, no, please, we’ll do anything you like-just don’t make us look at him!” \*\* 😃 Like **Lord Ashtar** said: someone had to. ---
**Author:** ![mrblue92](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@mrblue92](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mrblue92)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2003, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-vs-iraq-who-will-win/214164/16 "2003-11-20T05:22:50Z")
Hmm… Iraq supposedly has 5,000 guerrillas, armed with AK-47’s, RPG’s, and improvised munitions. Jackson has a chimp, a big mansion, and an army of lawyers. If Iraq can draw a few more recruits, it might be able to launch a human wave assault and overwhelm all the lawyers scribbling out motions to dismiss… Winner: **Iraq**. Jackson for the thrills, but Iraq lasts longer for the bills. ---
**Author:** ![DaPearl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b5e925/32.png) [@DaPearl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DaPearl)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2003, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-vs-iraq-who-will-win/214164/17 "2003-11-20T06:11:45Z")
Hehe **Guinistasia** , that makes me think of the Michael Jackson discussion in the interogation scene in _Three Kings_. ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2003, 7:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-vs-iraq-who-will-win/214164/18 "2003-11-20T07:11:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by John Mace \* > Once again you find it necessary to insult Americans.:rolleyes: A majority of Americans get their news primarily from Fox News, believes WMDs were found in Iraq, and believes Saddam Hussein and Osama bin Laden were working together. I think we’ve earned those insults. ☹ > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by mascaroni_ > Thousands of people were gassed, tortured to death, put through plastic shredders etc… then the country was invaded. **Sigh** Once more, with feeling… 1. Saddam didn’t gas the Kurds, the Iranians did. The US Army [said so.](http://www.nytimes.com/2003/01/31/opinion/31PELL.html) 2. Saddam never fed anyone into plastic shredders, industrial-sized or otherwise. Note that even after all these months, nobody has even _found_ a blood-caked plastic shredder in Iraq. [The whole story was a fake](http://baltimore.indymedia.org/newswire/display/3314/index.php) planted by Pat Robertson; the Christian pastor who claimed to have seen the shreddings doesn’t exist. Just fighting ignorance, y’know. If we’re going to go to war, let’s go for _real_ reasons, not bullshit. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/41988e/32.png) [@El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Cid_Viscoso)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2003, 7:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-vs-iraq-who-will-win/214164/19 "2003-11-20T07:11:40Z")
> [@](#): > > They could broadcast MJ for 20 solid hours per day and we’d still have plenty of time to cover Iraq. **John Mace** : Since you’re an apparent defender of the church of Telly, please point me to a channel that’s provided just four hours of Iraq coverage. Further, please direct me to a program that has exposed the death count for Operation Iron Hammer or where, precisely, the 1-ton bombs landed today. They’ve got to fill their air time, after all. I can hear – on my local stations, no less – a blow-by-blow of the MJ stand-off, including some seedy information about his apocryphal curse, the “spotted penis.” For this, God help me, **Aldebaran** is right: _how superficial the average US citizen reasons_. How many _dead Iraqi_ stories did I hear tonight at the grocery store? None. I overheard two on Michael Jackson and one on Laci Peterson, whilst waiting in the monstrously long checkout line. The checker asked me for news on Michael Jackson. Is there something wrong with some of you? Aren’t you angry about this? Are you willing to settle for death and destruction swept unceremoniously under the fancy, lurid rug of The Rhinoplastic Pederastic King of Pop? > [@](#): > > _by xtisme_ > Eventually people will wander back to the war, the economy, and all the other mundane things that make up our lives. Is this a great country or what?? Please tell me. Do you think this is acceptable behavior? > [@](#): > > _by mascaroni_ > Thousands of people were gassed… That old yarn? Got a cite to support that? > [@](#): > > _by mrblue92_ > Jackson for the thrills, but Iraq lasts longer for the bills. These are human lives you’re joking about, not fiscal figures. ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2003, 7:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-vs-iraq-who-will-win/214164/20 "2003-11-20T07:32:34Z")
> [@](#): > > It once again gives the world a demonstration of how superficial the average US citizen reasons. … Compared to the deep, insightful, brilliantly intelligent non-Americans who, by all accounts, spend all their time jerking off while waiting for the American-bashing to begin. Translation: Your logic is silly. Care to explain how you reached this conclusion that the average American is “superficial”? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-vs-iraq-who-will-win/214164.md?page=2)