# Michael Jackson, you alien fucktard, get the hell OFF this planet and don't come back **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 19, 2002, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612 "2002-11-19T21:01:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/50afbb/32.png) [@Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duck_Duck_Goose)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2002, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/1 "2002-11-19T21:01:26Z")
His Michael-ness has been dangling his baby son, one-handed, off a third-floor balcony in Berlin–only His Michael-ness and the alien parasite intelligence that inhabits his brain cells knows why. Truly chilling photos here. It’s the tiny clenched toes that make me sick. That’s a baby that’s trying to hold on for dear life with his _feet_. [http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm\_712494.html](http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_712494.html) > [@](#): > > Jacko stunt stuns fans > > Michael Jackson has caused a stir when he dangled his young son from a hotel balcony. > > The pop star had been waving to his fans in Berlin when he brought the baby out onto the veranda of the third story room. > > He held the child, who had a towel over its head, with one arm and then briefly dangled the infant over the balcony railing of the Adlon Hotel. > > Jackson then hurried back into his room with the child. > > The child was Jackson’s third and youngest, Prince Michael II, said Antje Sigesmund, a spokeswoman for the Bambi entertainment award ceremony. > > Story filed: 20:17 Tuesday 19th November 2002 I would really love for someone to post that I’ve been royally whooshed, but I don’t think so, 'cause it’s all over GoogleNews. So can someone, I dunno, just _remove_ him from Planet Earth? I mean, this obviously isn’t his homeworld, can’t we seal him into a rocket and shoot him off in some random direction, perhaps over towards where they sent that Voyager thing with the golden CD with Bach on it? Then some other civilization can open him up the same time they open up the Bach and puzzle on it. And I’ll bet it’ll make sense to _them_ 'cause it sure don’t to me. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2002, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/2 "2002-11-19T21:04:29Z")
Bingo! _Four_ threads on this subject, in the Pit, IMHO, Cafe Society, and MPSIMS! I’m off to Great Debates, to start a “should you dangle babies out of windows?” thread . . . ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2002, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/3 "2002-11-19T21:06:11Z")
Eve: What’s the debate there? ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2002, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/4 "2002-11-19T21:09:32Z")
General Questions: “How high would a baby bounce if Michael Jackson dropped it off a fourth-story balcony?” ATMB: “Would a Moderator get banned for dropping a baby off a fourth-story balcony?” ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2002, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/5 "2002-11-19T21:09:49Z")
The sweet part is he’s in town to get a lifetime achievement award, Bwahaha! You can’t make this shit up folks. ---
**Author:** ![minty\_green](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@minty\_green](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minty_green)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2002, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/6 "2002-11-19T21:09:51Z")
Well on the bright side, maybe now the state has grounds to start a child endangerment investigation. ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2002, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/7 "2002-11-19T21:11:10Z")
:eek: I see the thread title, in the pit, about MJ. no biggie. I see the OP’s name: **Duck Duck Goose** I look again at the thread title. yep, “MJ” “fucktard” “hell” yep, **Duck Duck Goose** I swoon. (on the OP, he’s so absolutely fucking nuts. I have felt very very sorry for those kids since before they were born.) ---
**Author:** ![Silentgoldfish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@Silentgoldfish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silentgoldfish)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2002, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/8 "2002-11-19T21:12:33Z")
Granted I’m just seeing the legs, but that kid looks surprisingly white… ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2002, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/9 "2002-11-19T21:14:13Z")
Well the mother of the first 2 is white, and the third one supposedly doesn’t have a mother \. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2002, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/10 "2002-11-19T21:16:46Z")
That diaper’s gonna need changing. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2002, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/11 "2002-11-19T21:17:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Silentgoldfish \* > \*\*Granted I’m just seeing the legs, but that kid looks surprisingly white… \*\* My G-d! Lamarck was right! ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2002, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/12 "2002-11-19T21:20:51Z")
Prince Michael Jackson - 5. Paris Jackson - 4. Prince Michael Jackson II - 1. Like we didn’t already know he was fucked in the head. ---
**Author:** ![Waverly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/57b2e6/32.png) [@Waverly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waverly)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2002, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/13 "2002-11-19T21:22:24Z")
What is with the towel over the head? It looks like some grisly mock baby execution. I’m sickened. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2002, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/14 "2002-11-19T21:23:12Z")
The Pit is the correct place for this one. Holy crap. I’m usually quick to take the position of an apologist for the man’s odd behaviour, since he never had a chance of having any kind of realistic early development. But this, like the awful noise he makes, is indefensible. One hopes charges are forthcoming and someone with authority takes a hard look at his fitness for custodial responsibilities. (No prejudice, I think it’s a good idea someone make sure the kids are safe, not advocating Child Services rushing in and grabbing 'em.) ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2002, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/15 "2002-11-19T21:24:28Z")
I don’t understand…if he was showing the baby off to his adoring fans, why did the baby have a handkerchief over his head? I did notice the baby’s legs were white. And how good a look is the crowd going to get at the baby if the hotel room is 3-4 stories up? Odd odd odd… ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2002, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/16 "2002-11-19T21:30:36Z")
The dude is nuts. He’s more worried about photographers snapping a picture of his baby’s face than he is about the kid dropping from the balcony. He took a vacation from reality a looong time ago. ---
**Author:** ![roadrunner70](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e19b73/32.png) [@roadrunner70](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roadrunner70)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2002, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/17 "2002-11-19T21:31:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ivylass \* > \*\*I don’t understand…if he was showing the baby off to his adoring fans, why did the baby have a handkerchief over his head? > \*\* I’m assuming the baby requested it… ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2002, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/18 "2002-11-19T21:32:32Z")
“Baby’s First Nose-Job.” ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2002, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/19 "2002-11-19T21:34:58Z")
“I’m assuming the baby requested it…” Bwhaaa! ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2002, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/20 "2002-11-19T21:40:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eve \* > \*\*“Baby’s First Nose-Job.” \*\* Damn you, Eve! Now my cube mates are looking at me curiously, wondering why I’m snorting laughter! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612.md?page=2)