# Michael Jackson, you alien fucktard, get the hell OFF this planet and don't come back **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 19, 2002, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612 "2002-11-19T21:01:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2002, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/41 "2002-11-19T22:27:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by World Eater \* > \*\*Yeah but at least George was punched in the head a few thousand times. \*\* Michael _paid_ to get that look… ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2002, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/42 "2002-11-19T22:29:28Z")
Boy are you guys all going to feel stupid when you find out this is a magical flying baby. ALL THE FACTS PEOPLE **ALL THE FACTS** ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2002, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/43 "2002-11-19T22:31:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Duck Duck Goose \* > \*\*Ivylass: Back in the late 80s or thereabouts, there were a bunch of authorized and unauthorized biographies and autobiographies about various Jacksons, saying that their dad was abusive, or something like that, and everybody went, “Oh, so THAT explains it.” \*\* Yeah, supposedly when they were on tour, Pops would snag a hooker or a groupie and after he was done with her, pass her around to the boys, and if he couldn’t find one he’d pass Michael around. That _still_ doesn’t excuse this stunt however! Anybody ever see the video of Michael dancing with the kid that played Webster (who’s parents later took out a restraining order against Michael after he checked himself and “Webster” into a hotel together, listing them as “father and son”)? The expression on Michael’s face is positively creepy! No man should ever look at a child like that! This also reminds me of something a friend pointed out about a series of tour dates that Michael had booked. **All** of them were in countries where child prostitution was rampant. ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2002, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/44 "2002-11-19T22:34:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by iampunha \* > \*\*Michael _paid_ to get that look… \*\* Touché Nice one. ---
**Author:** ![erislover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/71e660/32.png) [@erislover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/erislover)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2002, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/45 "2002-11-19T22:41:10Z")
Holy shit this thread is hilarious. Between Eve and jar I’m gonna pee my pants. ---
**Author:** ![delphica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9a140/32.png) [@delphica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/delphica)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2002, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/46 "2002-11-19T22:43:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lieu \* > \*\*Prince Michael Jackson - 5. > Paris Jackson - 4. > Prince Michael Jackson II - 1. > > Like we didn’t already know he was fucked in the head. \*\* Hold up a sec. You mean he’s got three kids, and two of them have the same name, and the other one has another name? That’s just … weird. Three kids with the same name – almost makes sense in an egomaniac, George Formany kind of way. But this is just a Larry, Darryl and Darryl freakshow. I also vote No on the hanging the baby over the railing thing. ---
**Author:** ![erislover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/71e660/32.png) [@erislover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/erislover)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2002, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/47 "2002-11-19T22:55:14Z")
“face” BWAHAHAHA I am _dying_ over here, guys! ---
**Author:** ![scott\_evil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@scott\_evil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scott_evil)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2002, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/48 "2002-11-19T22:57:19Z")
Forget Iraq. Invade Neverland. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2002, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/49 "2002-11-19T23:03:58Z")
Paris Katherine is a GIRL. That’s why she has a different name. The kid who played Webster is Emmanuel Lewis. ---
**Author:** ![Koxinga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2002, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/50 "2002-11-19T23:15:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by scott evil \* > \*\*Forget Iraq. > > Invade Neverland. \*\* Oooh boy, I know you were joking . . . but why that final scene from the Waco Branch Davidians standoff suddenly pop into my head? ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2002, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/51 "2002-11-19T23:18:41Z")
[Video here](http://www.local6.com/orlpn/news/stories/news-179489620021119-141129.html) It’s interesting how difficult it is to tell if the sort of crowd who gathers to gawk at a pop star is screaming in terror or celebrity-worshipping ecstasy. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2002, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/52 "2002-11-19T23:20:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Duck Duck Goose \* > **He’s acting out "the King showing off the New Prince to the adoring townspeople."** Okay, I know this is wrong, but I went back and looked at that picture again, and played the beginning of “Circle of Life” in my head. And it was _funny._ “NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAnts ingonyama bagithi baba…” ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2002, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/53 "2002-11-19T23:33:56Z")
I don’t mean to take anything away from the wisecracks of **Eve** and **jarbabyj** , but why no high-fives for **gobear** ’s William Pierce joke? Too subtle? I’ve adopted it as a coping mechanism-- imagine William Pierce’s soul in that little body, and suddenly, everything’s _okay_. I wonder if he’d bounce, or just sort of spread out? ---
**Author:** ![Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/50afbb/32.png) [@Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duck_Duck_Goose)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/54 "2002-11-20T00:25:25Z")
Yes, Gobear is too subtle for his own good. I had to go look up [William Pierce.](http://www.cnn.com/2002/US/07/23/obit.pierce/) . . . . . Okay, now I get it. 😃😃 Yes, very funny. FTR, [CNN.com](http://CNN.com), quoting Reuters, now says that it was a fourth-floor balcony. [http://www.cnn.com/2002/SHOWBIZ/11/19/jackson.baby.reut/index.html](http://www.cnn.com/2002/SHOWBIZ/11/19/jackson.baby.reut/index.html) Also, they’re careful to say that it was only a “light-skinned baby”, not “Michael Jackson’s son”. Which raises the even more appalling, although fortunately probably not true possibility, that he was doing this with someone else’s child… ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/55 "2002-11-20T00:32:56Z")
> [@](#): > > Also, they’re careful to say that it was only a “light-skinned baby”, not “Michael Jackson’s son”. Yeah. That would be so much better. :rolleyes: What’s with that look on Jackson’s face anyway? I’m not quite sure how to describe it… but it ain’t normal. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/56 "2002-11-20T00:34:56Z")
Thank God, the baby was spared, and we’ve been spared Michael Jackson subsequent cover of “Tears in Heaven” ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/57 "2002-11-20T00:40:45Z")
George Bush should include MJ in his axis of evil. Maybe Ashcroft can pull some strings and have MJ busted as soon as he returns to the states. Treat him like any other terrorist—you know, take his money, liberate the captive children, and hold MJ incommunicado at an undisclosed location for a few dozen years. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/58 "2002-11-20T01:09:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Slithy Tove \* > \*\*Thank God, the baby was spared, and we’ve been spared Michael Jackson subsequent cover of “Tears in Heaven” \*\* And we’ve also been spared MJ’s tearful prison interview where he describes what his fellow inmates do to baby killers. ---
**Author:** ![chula](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a4c791/32.png) [@chula](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chula)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/59 "2002-11-20T01:21:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eve \* > Bingo! _Four_ threads on this subject, in the Pit, IMHO, Cafe Society, and MPSIMS! I’m off to Great Debates, to start a “should you dangle babies out of windows?” thread . . . **Arnold** is verging on starting a GD in the MPSIMS thread with the question of whether it’s better to be born to a rich freak or loving, poor parents. ---
**Author:** ![minty\_green](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@minty\_green](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minty_green)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/60 "2002-11-20T01:36:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Arden Ranger \* > What’s with that look on Jackson’s face anyway? I’m not quite sure how to describe it… but it ain’t normal. That _is_ [Michael Jackson’s face](http://anomalies-unlimited.com/Jackson.html), and it definitely ain’t normal. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612.md?page=4)