# Michael Jackson, you alien fucktard, get the hell OFF this planet and don't come back **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 19, 2002, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612 "2002-11-19T21:01:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![minty\_green](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@minty\_green](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minty_green)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/61 "2002-11-20T01:37:59Z")
[Dammit.](http://anomalies-unlimited.com/Jackson.html) ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/62 "2002-11-20T01:38:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by reprise \* > \*\*Does anyone else wonder what he calls the 5 and 1 year olds at home to avoid confusion? \*\* I’m doubtful that confusion_can_ be avoided, in the case of the Great Gloved One. About his kids, or anything else. ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/63 "2002-11-20T01:42:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by World Eater \* > \*\*Yeah but at least George was punched in the head a few thousand times. \*\* I have an urge to punch Micheal in the head a couple of thousand time, but I’m afraid shit would start falling off his face. ---
**Author:** ![Canby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Canby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Canby)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/64 "2002-11-20T01:44:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Slithy Tove \* > \*\*Thank God, the baby was spared, and we’ve been spared Michael Jackson subsequent cover of “Tears in Heaven” \*\* :eek: This is both the funniest and scariest thing I’ve read today. Oh. Argh. Noooooo… ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/65 "2002-11-20T01:54:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by minty green \* > \*\*That _is_ [Michael Jackson’s face](http://anomalies-unlimited.com/Jackson.html), and it definitely ain’t normal. \*\* Gah! Why’d you have to go and remind me of that! No, I’m talking about the one in DDG’s first link that looks like he’s laughing maniacally. Although, whith that face, any expression might look mainical. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/66 "2002-11-20T02:30:07Z")
I saw bits of a documentary the other day which suggested MJ is spending much faster than he is earning. The day he goes bankrupt and gets out of our collective (unmodified) faces will be a happy day indeed. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/67 "2002-11-20T02:32:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Slithy Tove \* > \*\*Thank God, the baby was spared, and we’ve been spared Michael Jackson subsequent cover of “Tears in Heaven” \*\* The horror, the horror… ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/68 "2002-11-20T02:44:59Z")
All joking aside, this really isn’t that funny. Those poor kids are in a horrible situation, being raised by a physical and emotional freak of nature. (not to mention probable pedophile) What will they ever get to see of the real world? How will they ever know what normal is? If you have any kids, imagine them being left in the care of MJ for even an hour. See what I mean? Nothing funny about it. It’s a fucking tragedy. These kids are going to be human trainwrecks. For fuck sake, won’t somebody save these innocent kids. ---
**Author:** ![Agrippina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8797f3/32.png) [@Agrippina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agrippina)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/69 "2002-11-20T03:18:04Z")
It makes me sad to think of little Michael Jackson singing onstage with his brothers, knowing that one day he will grow up to be the freakish monstrosity that dangles his baby son off of a balcony. ---
**Author:** ![Jojo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecd19e/32.png) [@Jojo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jojo)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/70 "2002-11-20T03:22:38Z")
In his defence (I just love arguing for the underdog)… **He’s just some pop star not a politician** It doesn’t matter what he does in his private life so long as it’s not provably criminal. **So what if he’s had plastic surgery?** He obviously has issues about the way he looks. That’s his problem not your problem, don’t worry about it. **He seems to have whitened his skin over the years** I suspect he has _vitiligo_ which is a skin condition which leaves patches of white skin on your body. It is particularly common amongst Asians and Afro-Carribeans. There is no cure for this condition, only treatments (which usually don’t work). The only effective treatment is depigmenting your whole skin so that at least you are now the same colour all over. This is the most extreme treatment available but since he obviously seems to care a lot about his appearance this is what, I suspect, he has done. **He seems to like kids a lot** Without any evidence of criminal intent proven in a court of law, this is just rumour. If he was treated bad as a kid that may explain his desire to see kids treated well - always look for the simplest solution before you start jumping to libellous words like “pedophile”. **He’s the father of 3 kids and they’re gonna have a bad father** Hey, weirdos abound in the world and many of them have kids. Who knows whether Jacko is a good dad or not? I mean in real everyday life. I wouldn’t like to make a judgement about his fatherly skills based on what I read in the media, I prefer to trust in the welfare system and the justice system to sort it out if there’s a problem. **He hung a baby out the window** Possibly the misguided actions of a proud father? Maybe he was so caught up in the excitement of the moment that he thrust his baby forwards to show people. Then he realised there was a 4 storey drop below and pulled the kid back inside again. Indefensible, of course, but perhaps he just acted impulsively and then regretted it later. On it’s own, that isn’t enough to take someone’s kid away from them. I admit I don’t know what the towel on the head was about though. **He makes shit music** I’ve never been a fan but then there’s lots of bands I don’t like. He’s just some singer not a mass-murderer. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/71 "2002-11-20T03:44:04Z")
First saw the picture and thought “A proud, but probably mentally unstable father”. Then I saw the video on CNN and saw that child fighting Michael’s grip … clearly did _not_ want to be in that position. Maybe this is another one of those “Look at me I am a fertile, masculine, aggressive man who is clearly still a sex object buy my music!” moves, like when he grabs his crotch every few frames in his music videos. Hey, Michael, newsflash for you, guy: wanna be a sex object? Be a stable man with healthy kids. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/72 "2002-11-20T03:50:23Z")
He has said in the past that he suffers from vitiligo but I don’t buy it, because his skin tone would be more uneven. He’s SCARY. I don’t care. ---
**Author:** ![minty\_green](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@minty\_green](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minty_green)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/73 "2002-11-20T03:51:54Z")
He’s not scary, except perhaps to his kids. He’s _pathetic_. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/74 "2002-11-20T03:52:06Z")
**Jojo** I’m not totally au fait with the full facts, but regarding pedophilia, didn’t he get charged, then pay millions of dollars to witnesses who then refused to testify? Is there any serious suggestion that the witnesses were just blackmailing? If not, isn’t the situation pretty damn clear? ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/75 "2002-11-20T03:52:37Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by **Jojo** _ > > Without any evidence of criminal intent proven in a court of law, this is just rumour. If he was treated bad as a kid that may explain his desire to see kids treated well - always look for the simplest solution before you start jumping to libellous words like “pedophile”. He sure paid an awful lot of money just to make a “rumor” go away. And, to quote Howard Stern, If he just “loves kids” so much, then WHERE ARE THE GIRLS? ---
**Author:** ![reprise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ea666f/32.png) [@reprise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/reprise)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/76 "2002-11-20T04:02:49Z")
One of the two Michael Jackson programmes which aired here last week quoted a figure of $US30 million as having been paid by Jackson to the family of one of the boys involved in the paedophilia allegations. I don’t recall him ever having been charged - my recollection is that the allegations initially surfaced in the media. And yes, when money is no object I can see why someone just might make an out of court settlement rather than defend themselves against charges of which they are not guilty - especially when the case is likely to be played out in the media over a long period of time. Heck, multinational corporations and insurance companies make out of court settlements all the time in cases which they would win in court. Loving kids and loving women are not the same thing **punha**. I know many fine gay parents in whose lives people of the opposite gender are noticably absent. I also know quite a few parents who have decided to parent alone, without a partner of either gender around. ---
**Author:** ![chula](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a4c791/32.png) [@chula](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chula)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/77 "2002-11-20T04:04:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Princhester \* > \*\ ***Jojo** I’m not totally au fait with the full facts, but regarding pedophilia, didn’t he get charged, then pay millions of dollars to witnesses who then refused to testify? > > Is there any serious suggestion that the witnesses were just blackmailing? If not, isn’t the situation pretty damn clear? \*\* IIRC, he didn’t get charged with any crime, the family brought a private civil suit. He settled the case out of court, which I don’t think should be interpreted as an indication of guilt. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/78 "2002-11-20T04:08:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by chula \* > \*\*IIRC, he didn’t get charged with any crime, the family brought a private civil suit. He settled the case out of court, which I don’t think should be interpreted as an indication of guilt. \*\* Especially since rumor has it that his record label told him to pay up quickly and quietly so that the matter could be put to bed before his next album was released. ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/79 "2002-11-20T04:14:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jarbabyj \* > \*\*Boy are you guys all going to feel stupid when you find out this is a magical flying baby. > > ALL THE FACTS PEOPLE > > **ALL THE FACTS** \*\* ALL YOUR FACT ARE BELONG TO US ---
**Author:** ![Wearia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/13edae/32.png) [@Wearia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wearia)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/80 "2002-11-20T05:10:29Z")
HA! Thats hilarious. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612.md?page=5)