# Michael Jackson, you alien fucktard, get the hell OFF this planet and don't come back **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 19, 2002, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612 "2002-11-19T21:01:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![AnnaLivia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/edb3f5/32.png) [@AnnaLivia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnnaLivia)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/81 "2002-11-20T05:29:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jojo \* > \*\* I suspect he has _vitiligo_ which is a skin condition which leaves patches of white skin on your body. It is particularly common amongst Asians and Afro-Carribeans. > > There is no cure for this condition, only treatments (which usually don’t work). The only effective treatment is depigmenting your whole skin so that at least you are now the same colour all over. > > This is the most extreme treatment available but since he obviously seems to care a lot about his appearance this is what, I suspect, he has done. \*\* I’ll buy this. Why? Because I’ve got it- though I’m of Austrian/Russian descent, so it doesn’t show. Plus, I’m a big Todd Browning fan and I take consolation that once, if I got a nice tan like I did when I was a kid (it only showed right before puberty) I could have joined a sideshow as a piebald girl. Maybe even a leopard girl 😃 > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jojo \* > \*\* Possibly the misguided actions of a proud father? Maybe he was so caught up in the excitement of the moment that he thrust his baby forwards to show people. Then he realised there was a 4 storey drop below and pulled the kid back inside again. Indefensible, of course, but perhaps he just acted impulsively and then regretted it later. > > On it’s own, that isn’t enough to take someone’s kid away from them. \*\* Yes, yes it is. My proud father once slipped down a set of stairs after showing me off and rolled so he’d take the concrete instead of my little infant head. He never dangled me off a balcony. AL ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/82 "2002-11-20T05:37:53Z")
Let me tell you, reprise, no insurance client of mine pays a settlement of $30m without being pretty damn sure they are going to lose in court, anyway. That said, I take your point on the bad publicity angle. ---
**Author:** ![chula](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a4c791/32.png) [@chula](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chula)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/83 "2002-11-20T05:49:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by reprise \* > \*\*Loving kids and loving women are not the same thing **punha**. I know many fine gay parents in whose lives people of the opposite gender are noticably absent. I also know quite a few parents who have decided to parent alone, without a partner of either gender around. \*\* It’s not my battle, but I’m trying to figure out what remark you’re referring to. He wrote “Be a _stable_ man with healthy kids,” not “Be a _straight_ man with healthy kids.” ---
**Author:** ![reprise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ea666f/32.png) [@reprise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/reprise)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/84 "2002-11-20T06:08:38Z")
So shall take all kids whose parents have ever left a pot on the stove, failed to buckle a child in a seatbelt, left the child unattended momentarily in a wading pool, and a whole host of other things which **might** but will not necessarily lead to a child being harmed away? I think almost every parent on this planet has at some stage been in a situation where they have been hurt themselves in order to avoid their child being hurt. I also think that almost every parent on the planet has at some time or another made an error of judgement which has compromised their child’s safety. More by good luck than good management, most of the time children are **not** harmed by such errors of judgement on the part of their parents/care-givers. No-one is suggesting that what MJ did was **smart** (and having seen the tape several times now, I think “dangling the child off a balcony” is a somewhat hyperbolic description), but before we start suggesting that his children should be removed from his care, lets remove every one of those children currently in hospital as the result of an accident which could have been prevented by “adequate parental supervision” from their parents’ care. Perhaps the child welfare system in the US is different to that here, but you’d certainly have a difficult time here getting a court to sanction the removal of a child from their parent in the absence of either extreme, immediate danger to that child or ongoing neglect or endangerment. Tragic as the consequences of parental errors of judgement can sometimes be, parents - even the best of them - do sometimes exercise bad judgement. And I’ll bet that every one of our parents has a “near miss” story to tell about when something **could** have gone horribly wrong but did not. Unlike our parents, or indeed ourselves, Michael Jackson now has the world media pointing out his error of judgement - somehow, I think he might get the point. ---
**Author:** ![reprise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ea666f/32.png) [@reprise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/reprise)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 6:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/85 "2002-11-20T06:16:40Z")
**chula** , I was referring to **punha’s** “where are the girls” comment. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/86 "2002-11-20T06:56:59Z")
I wasn’t indicating that one needed two parents to successfully raise a child, **reprise**. I was talking about the issue of Michael pushing his virility and the idea that he is so very masculine and such. Gender never entered my post referring to his target audience. ---
**Author:** ![Avalonian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ee7513/32.png) [@Avalonian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Avalonian)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 6:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/87 "2002-11-20T06:59:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by reprise \* > **No-one is suggesting that what MJ did was smart (and having seen the tape several times now, I think “dangling the child off a balcony” is a somewhat hyperbolic description), but before we start suggesting that his children should be removed from his care, lets remove every one of those children currently in hospital as the result of an accident which could have been prevented by “adequate parental supervision” from their parents’ care.** That’s what I love about life here at the Straight Dope… you can always find at least one person willing to try to defend the indefensible with a straw man the size of Nebraska. Well done **reprise**! :rolleyes: Good parents make mistakes, too, yeah… but dangling one’s baby over 50 feet of open air isn’t “inadequate parental supervision,” it’s just damn _stupid_ and _careless_. If that’s what he does in _front_ of the cameras, I’d hate to know what he does when they’re _off_. Watching that video disgusted me. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 7:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/88 "2002-11-20T07:08:16Z")
**AnnaLivia** – Hmmm… Likes Todd Browning films… Presumably into James Joyce… How _you_ doin’, Ms. Plurabelle? (I’m sure with my luck, “Missus Liffey” is closer to the mark…) Ummm… oh yeah- “Michael Jackson! Whatta jerk!” Or something. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 7:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/89 "2002-11-20T07:08:49Z")
**Chula,** I’m the one who said, “where are the girls?” ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 7:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/90 "2002-11-20T07:12:09Z")
Oh, I don’t think “dangling a child off a balcony” is hyperbole. The kid had one arm between him and the pavement. No _way_ should an infant ever find himself in such a position. No fucking way. ---
**Author:** ![chula](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a4c791/32.png) [@chula](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chula)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 7:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/91 "2002-11-20T07:25:49Z")
**reprise** , you misattributed a quote! You’re in big trouble! 😉 I still don’t see what’s bothering you. He didn’t mean “where are the women?”, he meant “where are the girls?” In other words, why does he only like male children, if he has no sexual interest in children? ---
**Author:** ![Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troy_mcclure_sf/32/4150_2.png) [@Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troy_McClure_SF)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 7:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/92 "2002-11-20T07:27:49Z")
I beleive “Where are the girls” referred to small girls, children. If he loves kids so much, why do you only see him with little boys instead of little boys and girls.\* \*I haven’t myself bothered to make that observation; I’m just translating. ---
**Author:** ![t-keela](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a3d4f5/32.png) [@t-keela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/t-keela)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 8:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/93 "2002-11-20T08:25:45Z")
Just imagine, next time he does it…he has a doll instead and does drop it…boy that would really fuck y’all up. he-he Yeah, he’s a sick pup allright…so why’s so many friggin people as crazy as he is. The guy’s not exactly unpopular. I saw his last act that was aired…IT SUCKED All he did was walk around, rolling his hat and grabbing whatever is between his legs and whispering in the mike. The audience went apeshit, you know what? Remember the Emperor’s new clothes? Well, King Mike is showing his ass. I’d much rather hear little Michael any day. ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 8:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/94 "2002-11-20T08:33:30Z")
Please don’t mention Michael Jackson’s ass. :wince: And that, ladies and gentlemen, was my 1500th post. What a waste. ---
**Author:** ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 8:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/95 "2002-11-20T08:37:53Z")
Oh, I don’t know, **Michael** …those are mighty fine words to live by, if you ask me. ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 9:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/96 "2002-11-20T09:00:52Z")
Thank you kindly **Dijon**. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 9:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/97 "2002-11-20T09:15:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by chula \* > \*\ ***reprise** , you misattributed a quote! You’re in big trouble! 😉 > > I still don’t see what’s bothering you. He didn’t mean “where are the women?”, he meant “where are the girls?” In other words, why does he only like male children, if he has no sexual interest in children? \*\* I’ve always given MJ the benefit of the doubt here (although it’s been extremely difficult at times), and assumed that he likes boys because they remind him of the childhood he never had. Or maybe he really **is** a pedophile. But I don’t see that as the only conclusion to be reached from the evidence I’ve seen. OTOH, **Just Say No to Baby-Dangling**. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 9:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/98 "2002-11-20T09:20:24Z")
But won’t he have to change the names of his children to: The artist formerly known as Prince Michael Jackson I The artist formerly known as Prince Michael Jackson II and Bob, or Paris or whatever the other one is called. Man if ever there was a case for eugenics… ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 10:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/99 "2002-11-20T10:36:53Z")
Before anyone takes out their pitchforks, what Michael did was stupid. NOONE is disputing that fact. However, it does not mean he should have his children taken away from him. Does every parent who has given their child a whirly deserve to have their kids taken away from them? I mean, spinning a child around to generate centrefugal force could be extremely dangerous if your grip slips. ---
**Author:** ![Waverly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/57b2e6/32.png) [@Waverly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waverly)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 11:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/100 "2002-11-20T11:09:06Z")
Who is this Noone person, and why is he disputing that fact? I’d say that this is just the most recent of many additive reasons to protect those children by removing them. That, and I’ve already broken out the pitchfork, and I do so hate to put it away before the mob rules. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612.md?page=6)