# Michael Jackson, you alien fucktard, get the hell OFF this planet and don't come back **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 19, 2002, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612 "2002-11-19T21:01:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![Hodge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Hodge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hodge)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2002, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/161 "2002-11-22T00:48:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Arden Ranger \* > \*\*From the linked Herald Sun article: > Jackson is already talking about adding to his family. He would like five children, according to US reports. > > One can only hope that he is joking. My God! It’s all so clear now: **The Jackson 5 - Redux**. And, playing the role of Joe… ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2002, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/162 "2002-11-22T02:25:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jr8 \* > \*\*Dangerous pets and weird child names – is there a correlation? Did Frank Zappa buy his kids a wolverine? Did Paula Yates have a piranha tank? Is Jamie Oliver shopping for a polar bear? Enquiring minds want to know! \*\* Well, Zappa hired Pamela Des Barres (you know, “I’m With the Band”) as Dweezil and Moon’s nanny, back when they were his only two kids. She would party all night, stumble in at six, and flop down in “her” room just in time for the children to come in and plead with her to make their breakfast. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2002, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/163 "2002-11-22T03:25:20Z")
Yeah, I figured the tiger is in his zoo. The man owns a frigging amusement park/zoo. I think that’s where the tiger is. I think the reason he likes _E.T._ so much is because E.T. is so much better looking than he is. ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2002, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/164 "2002-11-22T03:38:31Z")
At least ET still has a nose. ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2002, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/165 "2002-11-22T03:42:07Z")
Apropos of absolutely nothing in this entire thread, I just wanted to say that I want to meet **Duck Duck Goose** solely to thank her for the word “fucktard”. It’s beautiful. I even teared up a bit. ---
**Author:** ![tcdaniel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9bd4f/32.png) [@tcdaniel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tcdaniel)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2002, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/166 "2002-11-22T04:47:50Z")
Frankly i wish he’d crawl back under the rock he came out from. He must have been filming a new thriller video staring himself again perhaps named “Baby Thriller Killer”. My dog is whiter than he’ll ever be. He’s a disgrace to Motown which made him famous and to people of his natural former race. IT must be contagious - look at his sisters. Mr. Turdfuck Jackson. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2002, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/167 "2002-11-22T13:19:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by tcdaniel \* > \*\* He’s a disgrace to Motown which made him famous and to people of his natural former race. \*\* He does have some disease where on loses mellanin (sp?). ---
**Author:** ![Koxinga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2002, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/168 "2002-11-22T13:31:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by tcdaniel \* > My dog is whiter than he’ll ever be. So being white is a good thing which is unattainable to Mr. Jackson? ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2002, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/169 "2002-11-22T14:06:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by carnivorousplant \* > \*\*He does have some disease where on loses mellanin (sp?). \*\* Call my cynical but how do we know if that isn’t just a cover story for some grand scheme? He did have a cleft chin added some time ago. Seems a bit too coincidental for him to have a disease which makes him appear white and have that particular facial feature added. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2002, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/170 "2002-11-22T14:11:34Z")
Hey, would Dr. Dean Adell lie? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Suspenderzzz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@Suspenderzzz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Suspenderzzz)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2002, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/171 "2002-11-22T14:38:17Z")
With all the shit that goes on in the world these days, I cannot, CANNOT, believe that this shit makes headlines for 3 days straight. Who gives a rat’s ass about Michael Jackson! We still have a threat of war hanging over us, and some of us have draft-age children. The economy is weak, and layoffs are happening every day. We face an ongoing threat of terrorism. Michael Jackson? For all I care, he can throw his fucking kids in a lake and jump in after them. BTW, I understand that the folks over in Germany, where he pulled his antics, shrug about the whole thing. What is it with our obsession about what other people do with their children?? What does any of what MJ does have to do with you and me, and what relevance does it have to our lives? Nothing I hate more than phony moral outrage. The whole media and the saps who are being stirred up by their sensationalism need to get a fucking life. ---
**Author:** ![Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/50afbb/32.png) [@Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duck_Duck_Goose)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2002, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/172 "2002-11-22T15:05:12Z")
You’re welcome, Ginger, but I can’t take credit for coining it, I think that honor goes to some unnamed Pit genius. > [@](#): > > _originally posted by TwistofFate:_ > \*\*sorry, you’re taking facts from a paper that calls the subject matter “King of the Freaks”? > > Duck Duck, you know better than that.\*\* The Herald-Sun headline I linked to says, “A sad, mad, lonely dad”. I don’t see the phrase “King of the Freaks” in the article anywhere. I’m rubber, you’re glue, Bounce off me and stick to you. Nyah. 😛 BTW, here’s an even better picture of MJ and his two kids, all three of them wearing veils. [http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/2498855.stm](http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/2498855.stm) And, really strange website, all the news that fits, about His Michael-ness. [http://www.neverland-valley.com/neverland-valley/news/news-main.htm](http://www.neverland-valley.com/neverland-valley/news/news-main.htm) ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2002, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/173 "2002-11-22T15:12:49Z")
Goose, some of those do sorta look like Jack Nicholson’s Joker, ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2002, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/174 "2002-11-22T15:14:16Z")
Geez, looks like a family of bee keepers. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2002, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/175 "2002-11-22T15:26:39Z")
The following comes from **DDG’s** second link, which is to Popies’ Neverland page. Am I just a fuckfoon or does this grammer leave you stunned as well? * * * "Popstar Michael Jackson arrived at Tuesday noon as well as his three children in Berlin. After an intermediate stop in Frankfurt/Main it landed on the airport Berlin Tempelhof. Berlin has again a megastar in the city: Michael Jackson arrived in the German capital, where he is to receive the “Bambi” on Thursday for his life’s work. The “King of Pop” rushed in a darkened sedan over the back door in the Hotel Adlon, accompanied from innumerable further vehicles. The fans enduring in front of the luxury lodging had at least for the time being a checking. With “Michael” calls they requested the superstar to show up. The 44 year old musician, who is to live in the Presidental Suite, is accompanied after data of the “Bambi” organizers by his three children. He has theoretically much time, in order to stroll by Berlin: The largest German medium price is only assigned on Thursday evening. Before Jackson wants to, however, already participate on Wednesday in the prominent auction “A Tribute To Bambi”, with which prominent ones make auction articles available for a good purpose. Jackson donated a hat carried by himself and a jacket." * * * Was this just fed into a web translator to yield German to English garble? ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2002, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/176 "2002-11-22T15:59:32Z")
Check out this photo of him receiving his “Bambi” award: [http://apnews.excite.com/article/20021122/D7NF13101.html](http://apnews.excite.com/article/20021122/D7NF13101.html) I find it interesting that he’s about 19 shades paler that the white guy he’s standing next to. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2002, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/177 "2002-11-22T16:27:39Z")
Woah! I clicked on Casper’s “Full Image” link and it made my browser crash. There is a God. ---
**Author:** ![Kn\_ckers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/96bed5/32.png) [@Kn\_ckers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kn_ckers)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2002, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/178 "2002-11-22T17:13:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by carnivorousplant \* > \*\*Pet alligators get flushed down the toilet at some point. > He’s crazy, but so are other people. They just aren’t as wealthy. > 🙂 \*\* Are you suggesting they flush the tiger down the toilet? I feel like there’s got to be a reason people don’t usually do that… And I freaking LOVE the title of this thread. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2002, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/179 "2002-11-22T17:37:38Z")
I was suggesting that lots of stupid people get dumb pets. …what does it mean, “fucktard”? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2002, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612/180 "2002-11-22T18:10:35Z")
Fucking retard. Kinda like how “asshat” implies that a person’s dumb actions prove their cranium exists solely to provide shade for their buttock. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-jackson-you-alien-fucktard-get-the-hell-off-this-planet-and-dont-come-back/137612.md?page=10)