# Michael Masterson-- 13 Year Old Wannabe Pussy-Whipped Little Jerk-Off ?? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 3, 2000, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-masterson-13-year-old-wannabe-pussy-whipped-little-jerk-off/4649 "2000-03-03T19:20:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![WallyM7](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5e925/32.png) [@WallyM7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WallyM7)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2000, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-masterson-13-year-old-wannabe-pussy-whipped-little-jerk-off/4649/21 "2000-03-05T03:39:00Z")
Veb, I was waiting for your pithy comments on this putz. Right on the money, as usual. ---
**Author:** ![PUNdit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3da27b/32.png) [@PUNdit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PUNdit)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2000, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-masterson-13-year-old-wannabe-pussy-whipped-little-jerk-off/4649/22 "2000-03-05T05:26:00Z")
## Whoa, Veb, that is highly insulting to those that get paid for making the letters to Penthouse Forum original. That is not an easy task, and one the Master Masterson is not up to. “You can be smart or pleasant. For years I was smart. I recommend pleasant.” Elwood P. Dowd ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2000, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-masterson-13-year-old-wannabe-pussy-whipped-little-jerk-off/4649/23 "2000-03-05T06:18:00Z")
Hey! I know where MM got that theory about the nerve endings that he espoused in his anal sex thread. I was bored, okay? So I started channel surfing, and ran across this HBO show, called Radio Sex TV, hosted by a woman calling herself “Dr. Susan Block.” She takes calls about sex. Anyway, this guy calls in, talking about wanting to have anal sex with his wife, but she’s kind of uptight about it. Dr. Block talks to him for a minute, then talks to the wife. While she’s talking to the wife, she says, damn near verbatim, what MM says in his anal sex OP. Just thought I’d share that. Of course, now I’ve admitted just how bored **I** am at this moment…I think I’ll head on over to MPSIMS… * * * This space blank, until Wally thinks up something cool to put here. ---
**Author:** ![Patty\_O\_Furniture](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/96bed5/32.png) [@Patty\_O\_Furniture](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patty_O_Furniture)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2000, 8:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-masterson-13-year-old-wannabe-pussy-whipped-little-jerk-off/4649/24 "2000-03-05T08:04:00Z")
At this moment there are **TEN** worthless MM topics taking up valuable space on the first page of MPSIMS. I would like to know **why** everybody keeps posting to those threads considering how much we all say that we’d like nothing more than to see him disappear. We have all had our own topics drop like stones for lack of replies, why is this guy getting celebrity treatment? I don’t care what your reason for posting is- hijack or not. It keeps him happy & fed **and** it sinks the rest of our legitimate topics down to the bottom of the list. Shouldn’t it be the other way around? **Stop feeding him.** * * * Given sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine. ---
**Author:** ![Patty\_O\_Furniture](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/96bed5/32.png) [@Patty\_O\_Furniture](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patty_O_Furniture)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2000, 8:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-masterson-13-year-old-wannabe-pussy-whipped-little-jerk-off/4649/25 "2000-03-05T08:08:00Z")
At this moment there are **TEN** worthless MM topics taking up valuable space on the first page of MPSIMS. I would like to know **why** everybody keeps posting to those threads considering how much we all say that we’d like nothing more than to see him disappear. We have all had our own topics drop like stones for lack of replies, why is this guy getting celebrity treatment? I don’t care what your reason for posting is- hijack or not. It keeps him happy & fed **and** it sinks the rest of our legitimate topics down to the bottom of the list. Shouldn’t it be the other way around? ## **Stop feeding him.** Given sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine. ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2000, 9:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-masterson-13-year-old-wannabe-pussy-whipped-little-jerk-off/4649/26 "2000-03-05T09:08:00Z")
OK. Who, may I asked, not being pussy-whipped, wants to be pussy-whipped badly enough that you could call him a “Wannabe Pussy-Whipped Little Jerk-Off”–or is it that you look at him and say, “boy, you are just askin gto be pussy-whipped”? ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2000, 9:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-masterson-13-year-old-wannabe-pussy-whipped-little-jerk-off/4649/27 "2000-03-05T09:09:00Z")
“May I asked”? Hmm… maybe I should get some sleep. ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2000, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-masterson-13-year-old-wannabe-pussy-whipped-little-jerk-off/4649/28 "2000-03-05T23:48:00Z")
Miss Veblen, thank a LOT for putting the mental image of Michael MasterMonkeySPanker with an **Inflatable Sheep** in my head 😃 I wonder how long that one is gonna last… * * * **Coldfire** _Voted **Poster Most Likely To Post Drunk** _ * * * _ **"You know how complex women are"** _ - Neil Peart, **Rush** (1993) ---
**Author:** ![okatym](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/76d3ee/32.png) [@okatym](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/okatym)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2000, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-masterson-13-year-old-wannabe-pussy-whipped-little-jerk-off/4649/29 "2000-03-06T00:21:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Who, may I asked, not being pussy-whipped, wants to be pussy-whipped badly enough that you could call him a “Wannabe Pussy-Whipped Little Jerk-Off”–or is it that you look at him and say, “boy, you are just askin gto be pussy-whipped”? I was defining pussy whipped as the condition where a guy is so conquered by “getting some” that he acts like a pathetic little wimp, with no mind of his own, being dragged around like a puppy on a leash attached to his dick. This guy’s so lame that he would gladly welcome pussywhipdom in exchange for his even more pathetic loser life of desperate masterbation where he’s not always sure if his hand will even touch that little stump of a dick that he almost has. It’s something he can only dream of. ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2000, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-masterson-13-year-old-wannabe-pussy-whipped-little-jerk-off/4649/30 "2000-03-06T12:23:00Z")
Another Troll with Michael mentioned??? Hi Mikey!!! How are you do you LIKE IT??? How’s life in the CIA? * * * J Because Fido ate the Hand Grenade for me, When the Tans came round to search the house at tea, I said, “Take this, dog, and eat”, He thought it was a can of meat, It was the hand grenade that Fido ate for me. ---
**Author:** ![Lexicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ac8455/32.png) [@Lexicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lexicon)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2000, 7:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-masterson-13-year-old-wannabe-pussy-whipped-little-jerk-off/4649/31 "2000-03-09T07:12:00Z")
Okay, I didn’t want to jump on the bandwagon, but now I hate this guy. It progressed from merely thinking he was a shmuck to genuinely hating this guy. Would it be okay if I started a thread here in the Pit along the lines of “Sound off if you think MM has to go-a petition.” so we can get rid of this asshole. If I could hack the Dope, I would, just so I could boot this jack-ass. In case you’re wondering, this [thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/005797.html)is why I am so pissed at the guy. It was his response that was the straw that broke the camel’s back, I guess. * * * “Winners never quit and quitters never win, but those who never win and never quit are idiots.” ---
**Author:** ![EnigmaOne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d2c977/32.png) [@EnigmaOne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EnigmaOne)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2000, 11:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-masterson-13-year-old-wannabe-pussy-whipped-little-jerk-off/4649/32 "2000-03-09T11:58:00Z")
:::wondering if anybody remembers a similar personality (add religious overtones) who garnered more responses than he deserved on the old boards::: He’s just another Ben. The best response is none at all. * * * – **Kalél** _Common ¢ for all ages…_ “Well, there was that thing with the Cheese-Wiz…but I’m feeling **much** better now!” – John Astin, Night Court ---
**Author:** ![Lawrence](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/2bfe46/32.png) [@Lawrence](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lawrence)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2000, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-masterson-13-year-old-wannabe-pussy-whipped-little-jerk-off/4649/33 "2000-03-10T02:44:00Z")
My guess is that MM is Loverock II: The Sequel. I know everybody is going to hate me for saying this, but I think it’s pretty funny. Tasteless, but funny. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michael-masterson-13-year-old-wannabe-pussy-whipped-little-jerk-off/4649.md?page=1)