# Michelle Bachman (R, Batshit) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 17, 2009, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michelle-bachman-r-batshit/486292 "2009-02-17T17:29:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2009, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michelle-bachman-r-batshit/486292/1 "2009-02-17T17:29:29Z")
I could have taken the easy route, said “loon” (Minnesota state bird, ya know, you betcha). But the loon is a lovely creature, whose cry by sheer coincidence sounds as though the Goddess, in Her wisdom, deliberately made a creature that is cheerfully insane and warbles its deranged joy to the world. But of course not. Doesn’t explain the platypus, anyway… But no, it is Michelle Bachman, widely known and scorned. [http://www.washingtonmonthly.com/archives/individual/2009\_02/016922.php](http://www.washingtonmonthly.com/archives/individual/2009_02/016922.php) (Warning: moderately lefty site, tighty rightys advised to proceed with shields in the upright position and anti-cooty protocols haphazardly observed…) Lots of cruncy nutty goodness here. Some of the droller bits; > [@](#): > > …the “Community-Organizer-in-Chief”… Har! Trenchant wit from a trenchant mouth… > [@](#): > > …is also orchestrating a conspiracy involving the Census Bureau, which the president will use to redraw congressional lines to keep Democrats in power for up to “40 years.” When the host said he was confused, noting that congressional district lines are drawn at the state level, Bachmann said Obama’s non-existent plan is an “anti-constitutional move.”… wait, it gets better! > [@](#): > > …the recovery package is part of a Democratic conspiracy to “direct” funding away from Republican districts, so Democratic districts can “suck up” all federal funds. Bachmann doesn’t think this will work because, as she put it, “We’re running out of rich people in this country.”… Well, gosh, no, Michelle, not till we can get The Wall on an assembly line basis. Stand, cigarette, shoot, repeat. But the corker, the mayonaisse on the shit sandwhich… > [@](#): > > …ACORN is “under federal indictment for voter fraud,” but the stimulus bill nevertheless gives ACORN “$5 billion.”… To look into her eyes is to stare into the Abyss, and to have it literally stare back at you. She does for stupid what Stonehenge does for rocks. Mind, I don’t accuse her of evil and malicious intent, she is as innocent as a newborn lamb, and roughly as smart. Her is the blameless vapidity of the naturally dull, she honest-to-God is that stupid. And you know the best part? This one’s not from Texas! ---
**Author:** ![Euphonious\_Polemic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/euphonious_polemic/32/3002_2.png) [@Euphonious\_Polemic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euphonious_Polemic)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2009, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michelle-bachman-r-batshit/486292/2 "2009-02-17T17:36:03Z")
The sad part is that her stupid and ignorant statements will be soaked up by a certain segment of the population, and repeated ad nauseum as God’s Own Truth. The facts really do not matter to the underlying story that her party wants to get out there. The facts merely get in the way, so they can be conveniently ignored. The vast majority of people do not want to be bothered with the facts. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2009, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michelle-bachman-r-batshit/486292/3 "2009-02-17T17:52:09Z")
> [@Euphonious\_Polemic](#): > > The sad part is that her stupid and ignorant statements will be soaked up by a certain segment of the population, and repeated ad nauseum as God’s Own Truth. Here, even. Cue **Starving Artist**. ---
**Author:** ![Claptree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@Claptree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Claptree)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2009, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michelle-bachman-r-batshit/486292/4 "2009-02-17T17:59:34Z")
Hah, that Michelle. Always good for a laugh. Or something. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2009, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michelle-bachman-r-batshit/486292/5 "2009-02-17T18:03:23Z")
> [@](#): > > …is also orchestrating a conspiracy involving the Census Bureau, which the president will use to redraw congressional lines to keep Democrats in power for up to “40 years.” To which I say, “Why stop at 40 years?” ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2009, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michelle-bachman-r-batshit/486292/6 "2009-02-17T18:06:47Z")
40 years? That’s all anything is good for anymore? 40 lousy years? What ever happened to thinking **big** , like a “thousand year Reich?” ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2009, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michelle-bachman-r-batshit/486292/7 "2009-02-17T18:10:44Z")
> [@elucidator](#): > > I could have taken the easy route, said “loon” (Minnesota state bird, ya know, you betcha). But the loon is a lovely creature, whose cry by sheer coincidence sounds as though the Goddess, in Her wisdom, deliberately made a creature that is cheerfully insane and warbles its deranged joy to the world. But of course not. Doesn’t explain the platypus, anyway… > > But no, it is Michelle Bachman, widely known and scorned. > > [http://www.washingtonmonthly.com/archives/individual/2009\_02/016922.php](http://www.washingtonmonthly.com/archives/individual/2009_02/016922.php) > > (Warning: moderately lefty site, tighty rightys advised to proceed with shields in the upright position and anti-cooty protocols haphazardly observed…) > > Lots of cruncy nutty goodness here. Some of the droller bits; > > Har! Trenchant wit from a trenchant mouth… > > wait, it gets better! > Well, gosh, no, Michelle, not till we can get The Wall on an assembly line basis. Stand, cigarette, shoot, repeat. > > But the corker, the mayonaisse on the shit sandwhich… > > To look into her eyes is to stare into the Abyss, and to have it literally stare back at you. She does for stupid what Stonehenge does for rocks. Mind, I don’t accuse her of evil and malicious intent, she is as innocent as a newborn lamb, and roughly as smart. Her is the blameless vapidity of the naturally dull, she honest-to-God is that stupid. > > And you know the best part? This one’s not from Texas! ::wild applause:: Well done, sir! ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2009, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michelle-bachman-r-batshit/486292/8 "2009-02-17T18:10:56Z")
I do hope she shows up on _Hardball_ to explain these ‘facts’ further. The last time she did that, it was rather beautiful. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2009, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michelle-bachman-r-batshit/486292/9 "2009-02-17T18:21:01Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > ::wild applause:: Well done, sir! “I love compliments, we all do - Congressmen, burglars, humorists, all of us in the trade. Why, I could live for a week on a single compliment! But I was struck near speechless by this complimentary thunderbolt! Never had I heard a compliment so well phrased, or so richly deserved.” - Mark Twain ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2009, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michelle-bachman-r-batshit/486292/10 "2009-02-17T18:29:17Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > 40 years? That’s all anything is good for anymore? 40 lousy years? What ever happened to thinking **big** , like a “thousand year Reich?” Hell, why not a permanent majority? ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2009, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michelle-bachman-r-batshit/486292/11 "2009-02-17T18:34:35Z")
Sheesh. Why don’t we all jabber on about how our favorite Major League pitcher is going to throw twenty no-hitters this season? ---
**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2009, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michelle-bachman-r-batshit/486292/12 "2009-02-17T18:39:51Z")
I finally figured out why Republicans get more airtime on the news, because batshit crazy is good television/writing and sane, measured discussion is B-O-R-I-N-G. OK, so it’s obvious, but I am slow. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2009, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michelle-bachman-r-batshit/486292/13 "2009-02-17T18:42:28Z")
> [@El\_Kabong](#): > > I do hope she shows up on _Hardball_ to explain these ‘facts’ further. The last time she did that, it was rather beautiful. I guess. In the sense that the explosion of the Hindenberg was beautiful. ---
**Author:** ![SmartAleq](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smartaleq/32/163_2.png) [@SmartAleq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmartAleq)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2009, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michelle-bachman-r-batshit/486292/14 "2009-02-17T18:48:42Z")
Dammit, why in hell couldn’t Tinklenberg oust this nutbar? She’s been sulking in her lair amongst the bones of small children for several months ever since the netroots spanked her stringy ass during the elections but you can’t keep a good pit demon down, I guess… [Obligatory favorite photo of the wench.](http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h16/smartaleq/bachmann_is_evil_3.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2009, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michelle-bachman-r-batshit/486292/15 "2009-02-17T19:17:40Z")
Isn’t this the nutbag who claimed that “God wanted her to remain in office?” ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2009, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michelle-bachman-r-batshit/486292/16 "2009-02-17T19:24:28Z")
> [@Gangster\_Octopus](#): > > I finally figured out why Republicans get more airtime on the news, because batshit crazy is good television/writing and sane, measured discussion is B-O-R-I-N-G. > > OK, so it’s obvious, but I am slow. Sure, but it doesn’t explain why they get such _respectful_ coverage. ---
**Author:** ![Lambo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecc23a/32.png) [@Lambo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lambo)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2009, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michelle-bachman-r-batshit/486292/17 "2009-02-17T19:29:17Z")
> [@](#): > > …the recovery package is part of a Democratic conspiracy to “direct” funding away from Republican districts, so Democratic districts can “suck up” all federal funds. Bachmann doesn’t think this will work because, as she put it, “We’re running out of rich people in this country.”… Apparently, she hasn’t been told that she and Kline are the two big MN winners from the stimulus, at least in [new jobs](http://minnesotaindependent.com/26699/projected-stimulus-impact-66000-jobs-in-minnesota) ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2009, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michelle-bachman-r-batshit/486292/18 "2009-02-17T20:10:35Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Isn’t this the nutbag who claimed that “God wanted her to remain in office?” Coleman. Who is not, it must be said, nearly so batshit. Not nearly. So batshit. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2009, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michelle-bachman-r-batshit/486292/19 "2009-02-17T20:25:14Z")
> [@Jack\_Batty](#): > > Hell, why not a permanent majority? Thousand year Reich, permanent majority. You say potato… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2009, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michelle-bachman-r-batshit/486292/20 "2009-02-17T20:37:39Z")
I nominate her for 2012. Palin/Bachman 2012. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michelle-bachman-r-batshit/486292.md?page=2)