# Michelle Bachmann is my new hero! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 12, 2009, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michelle-bachmann-is-my-new-hero/520937 "2009-12-12T00:05:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2009, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michelle-bachmann-is-my-new-hero/520937/1 "2009-12-12T00:05:12Z")
All Hail Discordia! fnord! [http://trueslant.com/johnmcquaid/2009/12/11/michelle-bachmann-quantum-physicist/](http://trueslant.com/johnmcquaid/2009/12/11/michelle-bachmann-quantum-physicist/) [QUOTE=R Batshit] When a piece of bread dropped by a swallow can stop the universe from being destroyed, the radical so-called “nuclear physicists” who tell us that nothing really exists appear to have hit a tipping point. The revelation that the Large Hadron Collider was shut down last month allows the American public to finally understand the concerns so many of us have articulated on this issue. “Quantum-gate,” as this incident has become known, exposes a highly-politicized scientific circle at the European Organization for Nuclear Research (CERN) – the same circle whose work underlies efforts to foist a bizarre worldview on the public that reflects a socialistic view of the behavior of subatomic particles and cats and threatens lead us down a slippery slope toward fascism. [/QUOTE] And my favorite: > [@](#): > > What is to stop the Obama White House from sending out teams of ACORN-trained “observers” to “change” our communities into whatever they want? We are now a fraction of a quantum away from tyranny. She’s afraid that Obama’s sorcerors are going to come to your house and change your quantum state! ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2009, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michelle-bachmann-is-my-new-hero/520937/2 "2009-12-12T00:09:35Z")
She’s not smart enough to be that crazy. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2009, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michelle-bachmann-is-my-new-hero/520937/3 "2009-12-12T00:10:31Z")
Why do people have to affix a “-gate” suffix to every goddamn thing? ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2009, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michelle-bachmann-is-my-new-hero/520937/4 "2009-12-12T00:11:25Z")
> [@Lord\_Ashtar](#): > > Why do people have to affix a “-gate” suffix to every goddamn thing? Otherwise the cat will get out of the box duh. ---
**Author:** ![Jihi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jihi/32/17768_2.png) [@Jihi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jihi)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2009, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michelle-bachmann-is-my-new-hero/520937/5 "2009-12-12T00:30:17Z")
I have to stop reading quotes from her. I can feel my brain breaking just a little bit more each time. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Hamster\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8edcca/32.png) [@The\_Hamster\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Hamster_King)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2009, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michelle-bachmann-is-my-new-hero/520937/6 "2009-12-12T00:37:44Z")
Ahem. Poe’s Law. ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2009, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michelle-bachmann-is-my-new-hero/520937/7 "2009-12-12T00:38:05Z")
> [@Jihi](#): > > I have to stop reading quotes from her. I can feel my brain breaking just a little bit more each time. See I have the opposite reaction. She makes me feel like part of an intellectual elite. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2009, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michelle-bachmann-is-my-new-hero/520937/8 "2009-12-12T00:44:53Z")
Primates? ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2009, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michelle-bachmann-is-my-new-hero/520937/9 "2009-12-12T00:45:39Z")
> [@mswas](#): > > Otherwise the cat will get out of the box duh. I thought (metaphorical) cats were kept in bags. ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2009, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michelle-bachmann-is-my-new-hero/520937/10 "2009-12-12T00:45:59Z")
> [@elucidator](#): > > Primates? Joke fell flat, try another. ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2009, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michelle-bachmann-is-my-new-hero/520937/11 "2009-12-12T00:47:02Z")
> [@Beware\_of\_Doug](#): > > I thought (metaphorical) cats were kept in bags. I think she was making a sly allusion to Schroedinger’s, which he keeps in a box. Makes you wonder whether Justin’s dick is both hard and soft at the same time. ---
**Author:** ![elelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@elelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elelle)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2009, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michelle-bachmann-is-my-new-hero/520937/12 "2009-12-12T00:47:28Z")
Um, this is a parody, right? Much too measured for Michelle On Wheels to have written. Not screechy crazy enough. As such, I’d give it an A for concept, but C for execution… see not Batshit screechy enough. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2009, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michelle-bachmann-is-my-new-hero/520937/13 "2009-12-12T00:47:35Z")
> [@Lord\_Ashtar](#): > > Why do people have to affix a “-gate” suffix to every goddamn thing? Otherwise, she’d have to support condoms? ---
**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2009, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michelle-bachmann-is-my-new-hero/520937/14 "2009-12-12T01:04:44Z")
> [@mswas](#): > > Otherwise the cat will get out of the box duh. Scroedinger? Is that you? Your damn cat did/didn’t shit in my yard again :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2009, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michelle-bachmann-is-my-new-hero/520937/15 "2009-12-12T01:09:23Z")
> [@SteveG1](#): > > Scroedinger? Is that you? > > Your damn cat did/didn’t shit in my yard again :eek: Maybe it did. Maybe it didn’t. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Fun\_Ball](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_fun_ball/32/17664_2.png) [@Happy\_Fun\_Ball](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Fun_Ball)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2009, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michelle-bachmann-is-my-new-hero/520937/16 "2009-12-12T01:13:26Z")
Wow, that didn’t even make sense. Wtf is she trying to say? ---
**Author:** ![Maeglin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2009, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michelle-bachmann-is-my-new-hero/520937/17 "2009-12-12T01:16:52Z")
> [@mswas](#): > > See I have the opposite reaction. She makes me feel like part of an intellectual elite. Clearly I am not trying hard enough. ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mighty\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Girl)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2009, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michelle-bachmann-is-my-new-hero/520937/18 "2009-12-12T01:17:17Z")
> [@mswas](#): > > She’s afraid that Obama’s sorcerors are going to come to your house and change your quantum state! I once a movie about that. But Obama was played by a short kid with round-rimmed eyeglasses. ---
**Author:** ![Dallas\_Jones](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dallas_jones/32/3277_2.png) [@Dallas\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dallas_Jones)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2009, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michelle-bachmann-is-my-new-hero/520937/19 "2009-12-12T01:18:39Z")
> [@elucidator](#): > > She’s not smart enough to be that crazy. You know, I’m just going to have to agree with you there. I hate it when that happens. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2009, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michelle-bachmann-is-my-new-hero/520937/20 "2009-12-12T01:20:10Z")
I’m going to read the link in the OP, but first, let me get this off my chest: > [@mswas's favorite quote](#): > > What is to stop the Obama White House from sending out teams of ACORN-trained “observers” to “change” our communities into whatever they want? We are now a fraction of a quantum away from tyranny. I thought that there couldn’t _be_ a fraction of a quantum. 😕 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/michelle-bachmann-is-my-new-hero/520937.md?page=2)