# Micro-rant: I hate thin chocolate **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 23, 2013, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/micro-rant-i-hate-thin-chocolate/676987 "2013-12-23T01:26:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![obfusciatrist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/4af34b/32.png) [@obfusciatrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/obfusciatrist)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2013, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/micro-rant-i-hate-thin-chocolate/676987/41 "2013-12-27T16:17:02Z")
Well in that case, if you’re as awful a person as dark chocolate is an awful food, expect a war crimes tribunal. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2013, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/micro-rant-i-hate-thin-chocolate/676987/42 "2013-12-27T16:29:21Z")
> [@obfusciatrist](#): > > But what about the fact that dark chocolate is amazingly vile? > > (I recognize it isn’t to everybody but there is nothing my mouth hates more than bitter flavors. Coffee is the worst flavor in existence and to me, as chocolate gets darker it tastes more like coffee.) You have an unsophisticated palate and you shall be shunned from the adults table at holiday gatherings. ---
**Author:** ![SerafinaPekala](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecae2f/32.png) [@SerafinaPekala](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SerafinaPekala)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2013, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/micro-rant-i-hate-thin-chocolate/676987/43 "2013-12-27T16:38:33Z")
@Obfusciatrist: you may be interested in this article stating that older people could benefit from the cognitive function enhancement of dark chocolate! _chuckle_ > **[Elderly Brains Get a Boost from Dark Chocolate](https://www.livescience.com/36607-chocolate-cognitive-function.html)** > > Eating dark chocolate every day in older adulthood may improve mild cognitive impairment for the elderly, which may reduce dementia or even Alzheimer's disease. ---
**Author:** ![obfusciatrist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/4af34b/32.png) [@obfusciatrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/obfusciatrist)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2013, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/micro-rant-i-hate-thin-chocolate/676987/44 "2013-12-27T16:52:49Z")
Yes, I might. I also might benefit from sticking my face in the flatulant crotches of gorillas. But sometimes the unpleasantness of the resulting life outweighs the benefits of extending such. I’d rather be stupid and not eating dark chocolate than even more cognitively aware of just how disgusting it is. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2013, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/micro-rant-i-hate-thin-chocolate/676987/45 "2013-12-27T18:43:10Z")
**obfusciatrist** , I think we could be avoiding this whole discussion if you just tweaked your opinion a little bit - rather than saying dark chocolate is disgusting, how about just saying _you find_ dark chocolate disgusting? You are indeed entitled to your own opinion; you seem to be mistaking that for a fact, though. I find Hershey’s chocolate waxy, too (and even a little soapy tasting). Sometimes I like a nice bit of milk chocolate; sometimes I like a nice dark chocolate (especially with something in it, like hazelnuts or orange cream). ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2013, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/micro-rant-i-hate-thin-chocolate/676987/46 "2013-12-27T20:15:34Z")
I remember having some undyed mint chocolate chip ice cream that had pieces of strong dark chocolate for the chips. It was the perfect contrast. ---
**Author:** ![obfusciatrist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/4af34b/32.png) [@obfusciatrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/obfusciatrist)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2013, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/micro-rant-i-hate-thin-chocolate/676987/47 "2013-12-27T20:57:51Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > **obfusciatrist** , I think we could be avoiding this whole discussion if you just tweaked your opinion a little bit - rather than saying dark chocolate is disgusting, how about just saying _you find_ dark chocolate disgusting? You are indeed entitled to your own opinion; you seem to be mistaking that for a fact, though. You seem to be mistaking that which can only be subjective opinion as a statement of fact unless it is preceded by the words “in my opinion.” Dark chocolate is disgusting. Since it is safe to assume that I have never eaten dark chocolate with someone else’s mouth I think it is is pretty implicit in that statement that it is disgusting to me. Since I am in a thread where many people have claimed to enjoy dark chocolate it would be odd to assume I am unaware of the fact that other people enjoy it and therefore must think I am speaking for all of humanity. Do you really go around life preceding every obvious statement of opinion with those words? If so, you must be a very tedious person to speak with. Weirdly, you don’t seem to be confused by the many people in saying that dark chocolate is good without preceding it with a caveat as to the inherent subjectivity of that statement. Perhaps you simply accept as fact those opinions with which you agree? Kind of sloppy but not uncommon. ---
**Author:** ![obfusciatrist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/4af34b/32.png) [@obfusciatrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/obfusciatrist)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2013, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/micro-rant-i-hate-thin-chocolate/676987/48 "2013-12-27T21:04:53Z")
And also, not that it is particularly relevant, did you notice that in my first post on the subject I did talk about how my experience of dark chocolate is unique to me, why, and that I recognize that? In fact, it was in explaining why I don’t like dark chocolate, even though others do, that resulted in me being informed that I am, essentially, a child and/or effectively dead. ---
**Author:** ![Labrador\_Deceiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Labrador\_Deceiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labrador_Deceiver)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2013, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/micro-rant-i-hate-thin-chocolate/676987/49 "2013-12-27T21:06:43Z")
Will you just shut the fuck up already? ---
**Author:** ![obfusciatrist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/4af34b/32.png) [@obfusciatrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/obfusciatrist)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2013, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/micro-rant-i-hate-thin-chocolate/676987/50 "2013-12-27T21:07:11Z")
Probably not. ---
**Author:** ![Labrador\_Deceiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Labrador\_Deceiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labrador_Deceiver)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2013, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/micro-rant-i-hate-thin-chocolate/676987/51 "2013-12-27T21:08:59Z")
Yeah, anyone following along knows that’s where the safe money is. ---
**Author:** ![obfusciatrist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/4af34b/32.png) [@obfusciatrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/obfusciatrist)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2013, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/micro-rant-i-hate-thin-chocolate/676987/52 "2013-12-27T21:15:46Z")
Then why’d you ask? Weren’t you following along? ---
**Author:** ![Labrador\_Deceiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Labrador\_Deceiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labrador_Deceiver)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2013, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/micro-rant-i-hate-thin-chocolate/676987/53 "2013-12-27T21:19:24Z")
Because it never hurts to ask, even if the person you’re talking to is a tone-deaf, tasteless idiot with no sense of proportion. ---
**Author:** ![obfusciatrist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/4af34b/32.png) [@obfusciatrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/obfusciatrist)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2013, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/micro-rant-i-hate-thin-chocolate/676987/54 "2013-12-27T21:21:36Z")
Now, I have to ask so I’m sure. You didn’t precede that with a statement of subjectivity. So are you presenting it as a statement of fact? Because I do have a sense of proportion. This post is approximately five times longer than my previous. ---
**Author:** ![obfusciatrist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/4af34b/32.png) [@obfusciatrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/obfusciatrist)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2013, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/micro-rant-i-hate-thin-chocolate/676987/55 "2013-12-27T21:23:34Z")
Also, I taste like chicken. Which is to say by jerking my head back and forth and poking stuff with my nose. ---
**Author:** ![Labrador\_Deceiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Labrador\_Deceiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labrador_Deceiver)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2013, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/micro-rant-i-hate-thin-chocolate/676987/56 "2013-12-27T21:23:57Z")
Perhaps you’ve confused me for somebody else. I haven’t commented on the difference between what you consider fact vs opinion, nor do I care. ---
**Author:** ![SerafinaPekala](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecae2f/32.png) [@SerafinaPekala](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SerafinaPekala)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2013, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/micro-rant-i-hate-thin-chocolate/676987/57 "2013-12-27T21:29:54Z")
> [@obfusciatrist](#): > > Also, I taste like chicken. Which is to say by jerking my head back and forth and poking stuff with my nose. That explains a lot! 😃 eta: just what ARE you stuffing up your nose there? ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2013, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/micro-rant-i-hate-thin-chocolate/676987/58 "2013-12-27T21:30:46Z")
> [@obfusciatrist](#): > > \ > Weirdly, you don’t seem to be confused by the many people in saying that dark chocolate is good without preceding it with a caveat as to the inherent subjectivity of that statement. Perhaps you simply accept as fact those opinions with which you agree? Kind of sloppy but not uncommon. Good point; okay, everyone who is giving subjective opinions as fact are also at fault. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![obfusciatrist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/4af34b/32.png) [@obfusciatrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/obfusciatrist)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2013, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/micro-rant-i-hate-thin-chocolate/676987/59 "2013-12-27T21:33:06Z")
Now I worry that you’re being dismissive of me. Down that road leads the hurting of my feelings. Fortunately I wasn’t operating under the misapprehension that you’d commented on any such topic. I did assume you were aware of the topic since you’ve suggested you’ve been following along. But I could be wrong, I’m not sure what to think of the idea that the way to get a tone deaf idiot to shut up is by talking to it. Your logic is on a higher plane than me. **ETA** Hey people who interceded between Labrador Deceiver’s last post and mine. We’re trying to have a private conversation in public here. ---
**Author:** ![Labrador\_Deceiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Labrador\_Deceiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labrador_Deceiver)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2013, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/micro-rant-i-hate-thin-chocolate/676987/60 "2013-12-27T21:34:20Z")
That makes no fucking sense whatsoever. Literally, none. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/micro-rant-i-hate-thin-chocolate/676987.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/micro-rant-i-hate-thin-chocolate/676987.md?page=4)