# "Microagression Theory" seems like a silly concept but the wiki is actually kind of interesting **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 5, 2015, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microagression-theory-seems-like-a-silly-concept-but-the-wiki-is-actually-kind-of-interesting/739495 "2015-12-05T05:15:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2015, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microagression-theory-seems-like-a-silly-concept-but-the-wiki-is-actually-kind-of-interesting/739495/101 "2015-12-09T02:57:02Z")
> [@Fiveyearlurker](#): > > The only place we’re disagreeing is the grey area where some aggression is being assumed. I’m willing to concede that there probably are times when there is some odd sort of psychology at play. But, I also think that most of the time offense is being assumed when none is there. That’s not what we’re disagreeing about, actually. You keep talking about people assuming offense when none is there, but the clearest and best example of that in this thread isn’t the comic you linked to, or the blog post. It’s your own reaction to them that most clearly demonstrates an assumption of motives and a taking of offense when clearly none has been offered. Both of your cites made it explicit that they weren’t talking about all men, but you interpreted both as being aimed at men in general. Both of your cites made it clear that the issue wasn’t simply holding doors for people, but deliberately doing it only for women, but you interpreted them as “Men who hold doors for women are assholes.” Both of your cites clearly described situations where the man in question made his motivations transparent, but you’ve continually described these encounters as based on assumptions and mind-reading. So, no, the area where we disagree isn’t over “how often this happens,” it’s over your persistent misrepresentation - unintentional, I assume - of the actual arguments women are putting forward about this issue. ---
**Author:** ![MandaJo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2015, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microagression-theory-seems-like-a-silly-concept-but-the-wiki-is-actually-kind-of-interesting/739495/102 "2015-12-09T12:57:50Z")
[quote=“Fiveyearlurker, post:99, topic:739495”] > [@](#): > > The only place we’re disagreeing is the grey area where some aggression is being assumed. I’m willing to concede that there probably are times when there is some odd sort of psychology at play. But, I also think that most of the time offense is being assumed when none is there. > > I’m considering that I have an odd psychology because I really take almost nothing personally! What profession are you in where you can afford not to worry about how other people perceive you? This isn’t just about feelings–it’s about operating in society. In the workplace, especially, generally it’s important to know, broadly, what other individuals think of you–if they take you seriously, if they respect you, what assumptions they are making about your goals, priorities, competence. And not just negative assumptions, either–but to know the whole package as it’s perceived. That’s just basic communication. In the vast majority of situations, you are shooting yourself in the foot and probably being ineffective if you just take everyone at their word and stay agnostic about anything you haven’t had direct evidence of. Is this not your experience? Part of that generally being aware of how people perceive you–which is determined by a set of observations about how they act/react toward you and toward others–is going to result in noticing differences in perception that seem to be based on your race/gender/other issues that don’t seem relevant. You seem to be arguing that people should willfully ignore any of those observations (and it would have to be willful) because they might be wrong and that would be unfair. But that’s true for all the hypotheses we have for why others interact with us the way we do. It’s part of the human condition. If the interactions that suggest race/gender/whatever based perceptions are few and far between, it might be possible to ignore them, because that suggests they aren’t a big factor in how people perceive you. But if they happen all the time, it’s very different. It reflects a reality you have to deal with, that you are always dealing with. But I imagine the constant reminder gets tiring. I’m not going to tell someone else they should be able to ignore it and give people the benefit of the doubt any more than I’d presume to tell someone with, say, chronic pain, how to deal with it. ---
**Author:** ![Fiveyearlurker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/da6949/32.png) [@Fiveyearlurker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fiveyearlurker)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2015, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microagression-theory-seems-like-a-silly-concept-but-the-wiki-is-actually-kind-of-interesting/739495/103 "2015-12-09T13:45:08Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > That’s not what we’re disagreeing about, actually. You keep talking about people assuming offense when none is there, but the clearest and best example of that in this thread isn’t the comic you linked to, or the blog post. It’s your own reaction to them that most clearly demonstrates an assumption of motives and a taking of offense when clearly none has been offered. Both of your cites made it explicit that they weren’t talking about all men, but you interpreted both as being aimed at men in general. Both of your cites made it clear that the issue wasn’t simply holding doors for people, but deliberately doing it only for women, but you interpreted them as “Men who hold doors for women are assholes.” Both of your cites clearly described situations where the man in question made his motivations transparent, but you’ve continually described these encounters as based on assumptions and mind-reading. > > So, no, the area where we disagree isn’t over “how often this happens,” it’s over your persistent misrepresentation - unintentional, I assume - of the actual arguments women are putting forward about this issue. Yes, the man in the comic made his motivations transparent. Comically transparent. So comically transparent that it’s ridiculously stupid. And, in the unlikely scenario that this happens, the guy is an asshole. In the real world, where you’ve cited your own uneasy feelings with some perceived look that you get, the guy is almost certainly not an asshole. Listen, it’s impossible to have a reasonable discussion with a person who gets to state that they are correct by definition. So, for the record, I’m going to continue holding the door open for everyone because that’s what normal people who aren’t looking to have a problem do. I’m also not going to interrogate my motivations behind holding the door, nor am I going to enter into a discussion with the person I’m holding the door for to discuss that I don’t consider him or her inferior to me. Because again, holding the door open for people is something that normal people do. If I morph into a fedora wearing boogeyman stereotype someday, maybe I’ll reconsider this. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2015, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microagression-theory-seems-like-a-silly-concept-but-the-wiki-is-actually-kind-of-interesting/739495/104 "2015-12-09T17:36:29Z")
> [@Fiveyearlurker](#): > > Yes, the man in the comic made his motivations transparent. Comically transparent. So comically transparent that it’s ridiculously stupid. And, in the unlikely scenario that this happens, the guy is an asshole. In the real world, where you’ve cited your own uneasy feelings with some perceived look that you get, the guy is almost certainly not an asshole. Wait, what? Where did I say anything about looks that _I_ get? Also, while I have no idea if that comic was based on an actual interaction the artist had, the fact that you think its so unlikely that it’s “ridiculously stupid” is kind of telling, because that sort of behavior is not particularly uncommon. > [@](#): > > Listen, it’s impossible to have a reasonable discussion with a person who gets to state that they are correct by definition. Who’s done that? > [@](#): > > So, for the record, I’m going to continue holding the door open for everyone because that’s what normal people who aren’t looking to have a problem do. Literally nobody in this thread, or in any links in this thread, has suggested that you do otherwise. > [@](#): > > I’m also not going to interrogate my motivations behind holding the door, nor am I going to enter into a discussion with the person I’m holding the door for to discuss that I don’t consider him or her inferior to me. Because again, holding the door open for people is something that normal people do. If I morph into a fedora wearing boogeyman stereotype someday, maybe I’ll reconsider this. Again, _why do you not get that this comic isn’t about you?_ ---
**Author:** ![Jimmy\_Chitwood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f475e1/32.png) [@Jimmy\_Chitwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jimmy_Chitwood)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2015, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microagression-theory-seems-like-a-silly-concept-but-the-wiki-is-actually-kind-of-interesting/739495/105 "2015-12-09T19:32:24Z")
> [@Dignan](#): > > Even places that are designated as “accessible” don’t always work for me. It wasn’t done intentionally as an attack against me personally. It sucks, and it is not uncommon. Everyone has their own challenges. Focus on what you can do to better your own situation instead of trying to control the behavior of others. This is exactly what the idea of a microaggression is supposed to capture. You said it yourself – it sucks, and it happens all the time. What’s your objection to the idea that people should think about the stuff that they, up 'til now, haven’t been thinking about, by which they have unintentionally made your life suck more than it otherwise would? ---
**Author:** ![Dignan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f07891/32.png) [@Dignan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dignan)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2015, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microagression-theory-seems-like-a-silly-concept-but-the-wiki-is-actually-kind-of-interesting/739495/106 "2015-12-10T02:33:25Z")
> [@Isamu](#): > > People are free to do what they want. However, if, after having been politely informed (as we are doing here on this very website) that there are certain behaviours that are inconsequential enough that from the “Doer’s” point of view they seem a trivial or jovial thing, but that are also so commonly done to them that from the “Reciever’s” point of view they are boorish, troublesome and kind of insulting, and you don’t stop doing it, then you are not a very nice person. > > I understand that it’s difficult to put yourself in the shoes of others, but it doesn’t cost you anything make small accomodations to others feelings instead of accusing them of being thin-skinned or liars. Yes, people are free to do what they want, but the mindset is shifting to having that attitude that you’re free to do what you want, as long as it’s in line with what is PC at the moment. Who gets to decide what is a “microaggression”? Do you have to be a member of one of the groups? And which group would it have to be? A “microaggression” can be anything that reminds someone they’re an outsider? Where does it end? People are different. We’re supposed to simultaneously celebrate these differences while not acknowledging them at all. How often are the people making these accusations really interested in social change? I think it’s coming from an interest in controlling the behavior of others. Those who are taking this idea are in a hurry to be offended and then demand an apology. Unfortunately we may be headed to this new standard, and we’re forced to be on eggshells because someone might get offended, and if you’re offending someone it’s because you’re a racist, and if you’re a racist, you’re just the same as anyone else who has ever gotten that label, and you’re clearly not as enlightened as the person you demeaned. I don’t think that’s a good place for us as a society. > [@Jimmy\_Chitwood](#): > > This is exactly what the idea of a microaggression is supposed to capture. You said it yourself – it sucks, and it happens all the time. > > What’s your objection to the idea that people should think about the stuff that they, up 'til now, haven’t been thinking about, by which they have unintentionally made your life suck more than it otherwise would? I’m not objecting to people thinking about stuff they haven’t thought about, or thinking about it a different way. That has been a source of progress. Equal voting rights, the ADA, etc. I think those are beneficial things, and our country is better for them. This “microaggression” theory is about policing thought, and free speech. There’s a rush to embrace being a victim, to be offended, and then to demand an apology. The champions for this idea aren’t interested in helping anyone, they want to make themselves a victim and find an excuse for why they’re in a place they don’t want to be. These “microaggressions” are seen as personal attacks, and they are not. My understanding of the definition in the OP is that a “microaggression” can be anything you want it to be. I have to take elevators everywhere. I have to wait for those elevators. Sometimes other people will already be waiting for elevators when I come up, and then they decide to take the stairs. Is that a microaggression? Is it a microaggression if they take the elevator anyway, when they could take the stairs? If it’s more than two flights, then is it OK? I’ve let women with children in strollers take the elevator, and I waited for the next one, even if I was there first. If it had just been someone with a big suitcase, I wouldn’t have let them go ahead of me. Was I committing a microaggression or was I being polite? I don’t take it personally. It is what it is, and I think it’s kind of funny. People hold doors open for me. I can do it, and I like the exercise, but it’s nice to have help, or to have someone be polite. People will make an effort to hold the door, or help me with other things. I think they’re doing it to be polite. They may not think I’m capable, it doesn’t really make a difference to me. If I don’t need the help, I tell them “no thank you”. These are not personal attacks directed at me. If this “microaggression” theory takes off it will not be good for anyone. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2015, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microagression-theory-seems-like-a-silly-concept-but-the-wiki-is-actually-kind-of-interesting/739495/107 "2015-12-10T02:49:24Z")
> [@Dignan](#): > > If I don’t need the help, I tell them “no thank you”. These are not personal attacks directed at me. If this “microaggression” theory takes off it will not be good for anyone. Can I ask how long you’ve used a chair? Because I agree, normally, a “no thank you” _should_ be all that is needed. But what should be and what is are often light years apart. I can’t even count how many times I’ve been approaching a door, had someone “ask” me if I needed help, I politely decline, and the person acts as if I’ve said nothing at all and continues on and opens the door anyway. Sometimes they laugh off my decline, as if I’m only saying no because I don’t want to trouble them but I really do want the help. If this isn’t a valid example of a microaggression, I don’t know what is. No offense is intended, obviously. But if this happens numerous times, over and over, over the years it has an effect. I don’t want to be a victim, I’m not a victim. I’m simply aware of these small, incessant acts that serve to chip away at my agency and autonomy. And I don’t think it should be. I’m not throwing a fit over it, I’m just pointing out that it is a reality. ---
**Author:** ![Dignan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f07891/32.png) [@Dignan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dignan)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2015, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microagression-theory-seems-like-a-silly-concept-but-the-wiki-is-actually-kind-of-interesting/739495/108 "2015-12-10T03:21:45Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > Can I ask how long you’ve used a chair? Because I agree, normally, a “no thank you” _should_ be all that is needed. But what should be and what is are often light years apart. 15+ years for me. Your example probably has happened to me, but I don’t remember any specifically, because I don’t care. The exchange is along the lines of “Oh, that’s OK, I can get it” (they open the door anyway), maybe we awkwardly dance “All right, well thank you.” I never see them again. Why devote the energy to being angry about it or taking it personally? It may happen all the time, but I’m more concerned about getting where I’m going. Maybe you get over it with time. When I first got hurt I remember being upset because it seemed like strangers were staring at me. Maybe they were, or maybe I just noticed people looking at me, there is a novelty to a young guy being in a wheelchair. When I see other people in wheelchairs I am interested in looking at them too, but I try not to stare. I don’t think I’ve always been that way, but people change. When people stare(d) at me, I know it’s “impolite to stare”, but I’m not interested in time and effort that goes along with scolding everyone with a lingering glare. It was on me to get over it. I didn’t bring out the victim card and demand an apology. People might stare. I don’t care anymore, because it doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2015, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microagression-theory-seems-like-a-silly-concept-but-the-wiki-is-actually-kind-of-interesting/739495/109 "2015-12-10T03:27:13Z")
> [@Dignan](#): > > 15+ years for me. Your example probably has happened to me, but I don’t remember any specifically, because I don’t care. The exchange is along the lines of “Oh, that’s OK, I can get it” (they open the door anyway), maybe we awkwardly dance “All right, well thank you.” I never see them again. Why devote the energy to being angry about it or taking it personally? It may happen all the time, but I’m more concerned about getting where I’m going. > > Maybe you get over it with time. When I first got hurt I remember being upset because it seemed like strangers were staring at me. Maybe they were, or maybe I just noticed people looking at me, there is a novelty to a young guy being in a wheelchair. When I see other people in wheelchairs I am interested in looking at them too, but I try not to stare. I don’t think I’ve always been that way, but people change. When people stare(d) at me, I know it’s “impolite to stare”, but I’m not interested in time and effort that goes along with scolding everyone with a lingering glare. It was on me to get over it. I didn’t bring out the victim card and demand an apology. People might stare. I don’t care anymore, because it doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. That’s good that it doesn’t bother you but that doesn’t change the fact that it is a reality. And I never said I was upset or angry, just pointing out that it is in fact part of my life. And I don’t think it should be. Now I don’t give one fuck about stares, that is human nature. And we’ve been wheelers for about the same time, 15+ years here, too. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![ITR\_champion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c67d28/32.png) [@ITR\_champion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ITR_champion)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2015, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microagression-theory-seems-like-a-silly-concept-but-the-wiki-is-actually-kind-of-interesting/739495/110 "2015-12-10T05:21:56Z")
> [@Dignan](#): > > Yes, people are free to do what they want, but the mindset is shifting to having that attitude that you’re free to do what you want, as long as it’s in line with what is PC at the moment. Who gets to decide what is a “microaggression”? Do you have to be a member of one of the groups? And which group would it have to be? > > A “microaggression” can be anything that reminds someone they’re an outsider? Where does it end? People are different. We’re supposed to simultaneously celebrate these differences while not acknowledging them at all. > > How often are the people making these accusations really interested in social change? I think it’s coming from an interest in controlling the behavior of others. Those who are taking this idea are in a hurry to be offended and then demand an apology. Unfortunately we may be headed to this new standard, and we’re forced to be on eggshells because someone might get offended, and if you’re offending someone it’s because you’re a racist, and if you’re a racist, you’re just the same as anyone else who has ever gotten that label, and you’re clearly not as enlightened as the person you demeaned. I don’t think that’s a good place for us as a society. This is an excellent post. I think it should be printed out and pasted on the walls of every college dormitory in the country. ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2015, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microagression-theory-seems-like-a-silly-concept-but-the-wiki-is-actually-kind-of-interesting/739495/111 "2015-12-10T05:25:18Z")
> [@ITR\_champion](#): > > This is an excellent post. I think it should be printed out and pasted on the walls of every college dormitory in the country. As an example of logical fallacy? “The slippery slope fallacy assumes without evidence that if we take a particular step which in itself doesn’t cause a problem, it is nevertheless the first in a series of steps that will lead inevitably to some undesired outcome. This fallacy in reasoning is often called the “thin end of the wedge” argument.” ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2015, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microagression-theory-seems-like-a-silly-concept-but-the-wiki-is-actually-kind-of-interesting/739495/112 "2015-12-11T03:07:12Z")
I don’t know how I feel about this. One the one hand, this kind of bullshit is certainly a thing I have experienced, but I don’t experience it often enough to feel truly outraged about it. I recently argued with some guy on the internet about chivalry and why I think it’s sexist bullshit, but about halfway through the argument I realized I really don’t care that much in every day life. It’s not like I flip my shit when a man pulls out a chair for me or anything. But for some reason, in this intellectualized context, it seemed important enough to argue about. One theory maybe is that when you’ve had shitty things happen to you because you’re a minority, you tend to lump everything together. Any perceived instance of injustice, no matter how small, forms this overall emotional impression that is hard to shake. Like in my mind I’m linking chivalry with these genuinely traumatic experiences I have had, because what microagressions do is remind you about all those other shitty experiences. It just feels like being kicked while you’re down. And that’s maybe where the disconnect is for more privileged groups – we all get what it’s like to be dissed, we know it’s annoying but we think of it as no big deal, because we can’t empathize with all the baggage that comes with it if you are a minority. It’s all about context. I tend to have very radical SJW friends, so they post a _lot_ about this on Facebook and such. And on the one hand, I readily acknowledge that I cannot know another’s experience and I wouldn’t presume to tell someone their experiences of racism, sexism, or whatever aren’t important. On the other hand, I am feeling increasingly alienated by this culture… and I couldn’t put my finger on it until an internet commenter made it clear. He was a gay man who had been a long-time social justice activist and he saw the recent actions on campus as misguided, namely because social justice these days has become an intellectualized experience for many people, to the point where we’ve confused lecturing at people with real social activism. And in my experience, lecturing only alienates people who really cannot get it on an empathetic level. I am genuinely conflicted. And I don’t feel I have a lot of room to talk on issues of race because I am a white person. But as a woman, I am genuinely unhappy with a lot of the mainstream feminist narrative because it seems so fundamentally alienating to men. That just seems like bad strategy. I’ve heard all the arguments in favor, the statements that men cannot truly be feminists because they lack the experience of being a woman, and I think it’s bullshit. We need allies, and I don’t think you can yell people into understanding you. The SJW crowd would call this ‘‘tone policing’’ and I get the criticism, but on the other hand, I’m a woman, I know sexism is a thing, and I still think we’re getting it wrong. Those articles about how women are justified in their mistrust of men really piss me off. I would hope that we all understand the concept of confirmation bias and also that, as feminists, we’re well aware most sexual assaults aren’t committed by strangers. Can’t rationality step in at a certain point and trump personal experience? It just seems intellectually lazy to me, and not at all productive. A recent example is an article I saw that said something along the lines of ‘‘3 Ways ‘For Her Pleasure’ Sex can actually be misogynistic.’’ For fuck’s sake. Sure, I guess an argument can be made, and I can think of a lot of academic, intellectual reasons someone might think this matters. But I recently started working at a DV and sexual assault shelter. There was a recent FBI report that found 20% of women in my state reported being raped in their lifetime, and 60% had experienced sexual assault. 1 in 3 families in my state experience domestic violence, and, according to FBI statistics, 98% of reported domestic violence cases were women. We have to turn away thousands of women every year in our county alone. Do we really want to plant our flag on the ‘holding the door open’ hill? ---
**Author:** ![Taber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ac91a4/32.png) [@Taber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taber)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2015, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microagression-theory-seems-like-a-silly-concept-but-the-wiki-is-actually-kind-of-interesting/739495/113 "2015-12-11T18:33:54Z")
[QUOTE=Stringbean] We’re talking about how holding a door for a woman is offensive. Just to make sure everyone is aware of how NOT to engender support for a cause. [/quote] The only reason we’re talking about holding doors open is someone made a post about how those crazy SJWs think holding doors open is sexist, and everyone else saying that they don’t think holding doors open is sexist, unless it’s done in a particularly sleazy way (Sprinting to beat Ambivalid to the door, refusing to walk through a door held open by a woman, etc). How you manage to interpret that as us being crazy SJWs who think holding doors open is sexist is beyond me. ---
**Author:** ![Dignan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f07891/32.png) [@Dignan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dignan)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2015, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microagression-theory-seems-like-a-silly-concept-but-the-wiki-is-actually-kind-of-interesting/739495/114 "2015-12-12T01:19:35Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > That’s good that it doesn’t bother you but that doesn’t change the fact that it is a reality. And I never said I was upset or angry, just pointing out that it is in fact part of my life. And I don’t think it should be. Now I don’t give one fuck about stares, that is human nature. And we’ve been wheelers for about the same time, 15+ years here, too. 🙂 It’s reality, but I don’t think it needs a special label. If someone doesn’t listen to a request, then I would consider that jerk behavior. Calling it “microaggression” is over dramatic. There’s no distinct definition to what a “microaggression” is from what I have seen, since it is so broad as to possibly encompass anything. I’m not saying that as a logical fallacy, I’m saying that because it’s a silly idea. It’s a reality that people hold the door open, or don’t always know how to interact with people who are different from them. They aren’t doing it as a personal attack. There are plenty of things that irritate me. Those aren’t the results of “microaggressions” (though they could be if I wanted to toss out that label!), they’re a result of life. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2015, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microagression-theory-seems-like-a-silly-concept-but-the-wiki-is-actually-kind-of-interesting/739495/115 "2015-12-12T01:38:24Z")
> [@Dignan](#): > > It’s reality, but I don’t think it needs a special label. If someone doesn’t listen to a request, then I would consider that jerk behavior. Calling it “microaggression” is over dramatic. > > {_snip_} > > It’s a reality that people hold the door open, or don’t always know how to interact with people who are different from them. They aren’t doing it as a personal attack. I’m ambivalent as to whether such behavior needs a special label or not, I hadn’t come across the word “microaggression” prior to this thread. But it is a perfectly valid concept. Saying “oh, people don’t always know how to act around those who use wheelchairs” in order to excuse inappropriate behavior doesn’t cut it for me. I mean, yes, I understand maybe offering help when it’s clearly not needed, smiling way too much, saying silly platitudes, whatever, when my presence causes someone a bit of discomfort. However, being uncomfortable around those who are different than you is not an excuse for suddenly losing the ability to treat that ‘different person’ as a societal peer. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2015, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microagression-theory-seems-like-a-silly-concept-but-the-wiki-is-actually-kind-of-interesting/739495/116 "2015-12-12T02:23:10Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > I’m ambivalent as to whether such behavior needs a special label or not, I hadn’t come across the word “microaggression” prior to this thread. But it is a perfectly valid concept. > > Saying “oh, people don’t always know how to act around those who use wheelchairs” in order to excuse inappropriate behavior doesn’t cut it for me. I mean, yes, I understand maybe offering help when it’s clearly not needed, smiling way too much, saying silly platitudes, whatever, when my presence causes someone a bit of discomfort. However, being uncomfortable around those who are different than you is not an excuse for suddenly losing the ability to treat that ‘different person’ as a societal peer. Even if this was a good excuse, that doesn’t mean something can’t be annoying. Something can be 100% natural and understandable and still bug the living shit out of you. For instance, I totally get why people find Tourette’s funny and crack jokes about it. In an alternate universe, I’m probably laughing along with them. But in _this_ universe, it’s not so funny for me. I don’t expect people to stop laughing just on my account, but the very LEAST they can do is not tell me to “lighten up” if for a single moment I cannot be a good sport. ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2015, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microagression-theory-seems-like-a-silly-concept-but-the-wiki-is-actually-kind-of-interesting/739495/117 "2015-12-12T14:17:59Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > Even if this was a good excuse, that doesn’t mean something can’t be annoying. Something can be 100% natural and understandable and still bug the living shit out of you. For instance, I totally get why people find Tourette’s funny and crack jokes about it. In an alternate universe, I’m probably laughing along with them. But in _this_ universe, it’s not so funny for me. I don’t expect people to stop laughing just on my account, but the very LEAST they can do is not tell me to “lighten up” if for a single moment I cannot be a good sport. Well said. I have never had a thread where I type out a post, then delete it - so many frickin’ times. I understand individuals’ frustration with the PC-ness of it all, but am surprised that there isn’t more “yes, I can see in some situations where a person _on the receiving end_ of this type of behavior could see it as a pattern of bias, either from one individual or culturally within that situation.” Here’s the thread I started to discuss a different “microaggression”: mistaking someone’s name long past the time where you should get it correct: [Racial/ Other Insensivity based on mistaking a name - can this be discussed thoughtfully? - In My Humble Opinion - Straight Dope Message Board](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=775069) It was hard for many folks to acknowledge that mistaking a name, over time, can come across as biased. Regardless of how individuals view this topic, the bottom line is that: - America is becoming more diverse. - Videos and other surveillance data are going to become more availale - Social Media is going to continue to give more and more voice to groups that feel disenfranchised If folks can’t see this, I don’t know what to say. More importantly: Because of this, the conversation about prejudice _is changing._ Period - it just is. Whether I or anyone else is happy, sad or indifferent about it doesn’t really matter. Reading posters who write “this is stupid and folks need to get over it” feels like an ostrich burying its head response. The question right now is “where are the goal posts now?” Issues related to Microaggressions are being considered right alongside taking down flags, changing building names and systemic police prejudice and crime against people of color. If the forces I mention above are leading America revisit our history of prejudice and _really_ do something about it, is it surprising that some everyday, little things must be questioned? If you are going on a diet, do you need to watch the little shit you do, too? Yes, don’t have that huge burger, but also don’t have little snacks, that piece of candy your colleague keeps on their desk, that extra Coke, etc. Right? And don’t we all struggle with _which_ habits we must change if we are really going to do better? How is this discussion any different? - America has habits it must change regarding prejudice - America needs to look hard at the Big Stuff and the Little Stuff that pervades our communities and personal behaviors that reinforce prejudice. - Microaggressions - by any name - should be discussed within that context. We can change a habit to use seatbelts. We can change a habit to stop smoking. Guns and Race? A bit harder. Good lord, I hope this makes sense after I post it. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2015, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microagression-theory-seems-like-a-silly-concept-but-the-wiki-is-actually-kind-of-interesting/739495/118 "2015-12-12T16:14:19Z")
> [@Dignan](#): > > It’s reality, but I don’t think it needs a special label. If someone doesn’t listen to a request, then I would consider that jerk behavior. Calling it “microaggression” is over dramatic. I don’t see how using a bloodless academic term is _more_ dramatic than using a common personal insult, particularly when that term contains a prefix meaning “very small”. I could see objecting to calling an everyday, possibly unintentional, slight a macro-, mega-, or superaggression, or even just a plain old aggression, but the term you’re getting so worked up about says quite literally that this sort of thing is much smaller than what might ordinarily be described as an aggression. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2015, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microagression-theory-seems-like-a-silly-concept-but-the-wiki-is-actually-kind-of-interesting/739495/119 "2015-12-12T17:34:21Z")
Ultimately the term is harmful to its own interests. “If it’s micro, then why the fuss?” say the detractors. “If it’s an aggression, where’s the intent?” say the detractors. And they have a point, limited though it is. My own POV is pretty much what \*\*WordMan \*\*said just above. But with a bit of \*\*Dignan \*\*mixed in. There are fussy people seeking victimhood. And there are jerks being actively deliberately hostile. And thoughtless people being unwittingly uninclusive. Some of whom are well-meaning and others not so much. I doubt this is the biggest, closest snake in our society’s inter-group relations. I also don’t doubt that a small change by a lot of people could produce real progress in this area. Focusing on the 10% who are most victimhood-seeking or the 10% who are most deliberately hostile makes for nice anger-bites to rally your base. But it’s what the other 80% do 80% of the time that matters to most of us. Acting civilized: in a free country it’s a choice. But it’s also a darn good idea. This post even deserves my sig: ---
**Author:** ![WF\_Tomba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d9b06d/32.png) [@WF\_Tomba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WF_Tomba)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2015, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microagression-theory-seems-like-a-silly-concept-but-the-wiki-is-actually-kind-of-interesting/739495/120 "2015-12-13T03:20:36Z")
I have only skimmed the thread, but I have an interesting example to toss out. A while back I read something a black guy wrote, where he mentioned walking down a sidewalk, past a line of cars waiting at a stoplight, and hearing people lock their car doors as he approached. It occurred to me that I have done that, and while I’m not consciously racist, I strongly suspect that I am more likely to do it if the person walking by is black. I hadn’t realized that people noticed this, but of course they do; car door locks do make a sound that’s audible from the outside. I thought about how a random black guy walking past my car might feel if he heard me lock my doors. While it’s true that he can’t know for sure if it’s connected to his race or just a coincidence, the possible connection would surely leap into his mind, and then it would be hard for him to dismiss it. Anyway, after feeling uncomfortable about this for a bit, I decided to adopt the habit of locking my doors as soon as I get into the car. It means that I’ll never have to worry about accidentally insulting someone, and it’s safer anyway. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microagression-theory-seems-like-a-silly-concept-but-the-wiki-is-actually-kind-of-interesting/739495.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microagression-theory-seems-like-a-silly-concept-but-the-wiki-is-actually-kind-of-interesting/739495.md?page=7)