# Microchip the illegal aliens!
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microchip-the-illegal-aliens/537705
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [April 29, 2010, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microchip-the-illegal-aliens/537705 "2010-04-29T02:54:56Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)
#### Post date: [April 29, 2010, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microchip-the-illegal-aliens/537705/1 "2010-04-29T02:54:56Z")
[raw story reports:](http://rawstory.com/rs/2010/0428/gop-candidates-microchip-illegal-comment-draws-outrage/)
> [@](#):
>
> During a Republican forum in Tama County [Arizona], 3rd District candidate Pat Bertroche said police should catch illegal immigrants and document their whereabouts with microchips, the Des Moines Register reported.
>
> “I think we should catch ’em, we should document ’em, make sure we know where they are and where they are going. I actually support microchipping them," Bertroche said. "I can microchip my dog so I can find it. Why can’t I microchip an illegal? That’s not a popular thing to say, but it’s a lot cheaper than building a fence they can tunnel under.”
>
> Bertroche has already backpedaled from the comment, telling the Associated Press he can’t understand why people would think he was suggesting illegal immigrants be micro-chipped or that he was comparing him to dogs.
Hey, man that’s public life, people are always taking your words out of context.
But, why stop with the illegals? Microchip **everybody!** No more need for ID cards or passports or credit cards or ATM cards! Just wave your chipped hand over the scanner and prove you’re the person you killed to get the chip! 🙂
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### Author:  [@Jamaika\_a\_jamaikaiake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jamaika_a_jamaikaiake)
#### Post date: [April 29, 2010, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microchip-the-illegal-aliens/537705/2 "2010-04-29T03:09:24Z")
There’s no Tama County in Arizona.
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### Author:  [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)
#### Post date: [April 29, 2010, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microchip-the-illegal-aliens/537705/3 "2010-04-29T03:12:06Z")
> [@Jamaika\_a\_jamaikaiake](#):
>
> There’s no Tama County in Arizona.
My mistake, misread that bit of the story. **Iowa.**
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### Author:  [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)
#### Post date: [April 29, 2010, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microchip-the-illegal-aliens/537705/4 "2010-04-29T03:23:21Z")
If you’ve been in the country for thirty years, does your chip turn black?
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### Author:  [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)
#### Post date: [April 29, 2010, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microchip-the-illegal-aliens/537705/5 "2010-04-29T03:44:22Z")
I support this idea, but it doesn’t go far enough. What we should do is march into Mexico and slap those electric dog collars on them. Then we lay an invisible fence line down the border. If they try to cross then… _ZAP_… bye bye immigration problem.
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### Author:  [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)
#### Post date: [April 29, 2010, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microchip-the-illegal-aliens/537705/6 "2010-04-29T03:51:20Z")
But how are you going to get them to change the batteries regularly?
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### Author:  [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)
#### Post date: [April 29, 2010, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microchip-the-illegal-aliens/537705/7 "2010-04-29T03:53:49Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#):
>
> But how are you going to get them to change the batteries regularly?
A few of them can get jobs in the border maquiladoras, changing collar-batteries on the rest at 30 centavos an hour.
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### Author:  [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)
#### Post date: [April 29, 2010, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microchip-the-illegal-aliens/537705/8 "2010-04-29T04:02:31Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#):
>
> But how are you going to get them to change the batteries regularly?
We’ll make them solar powered. Alternative energy, baby! The slogan will be: “Zap a Mexican for a greener tomorrow”.
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### Author:  [@BrightNShiny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrightNShiny)
#### Post date: [April 29, 2010, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microchip-the-illegal-aliens/537705/9 "2010-04-29T04:11:41Z")
I thought lojacking people was a sign of the apocalypse? Or has that changed now?
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### Author:  [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)
#### Post date: [April 29, 2010, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microchip-the-illegal-aliens/537705/10 "2010-04-29T04:18:13Z")
In the greatest irony of all, the Mark of the Beast was actually [555](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/State_Express_555). Smoking kills, you know.
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### Author:  [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)
#### Post date: [April 29, 2010, 6:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microchip-the-illegal-aliens/537705/11 "2010-04-29T06:24:38Z")
Electronics isn’t my thing, but this can’t work, right? They aren’t transmitters, like those in the fillings of my teeth?
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### Author:  [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)
#### Post date: [April 29, 2010, 7:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microchip-the-illegal-aliens/537705/12 "2010-04-29T07:13:28Z")
What we really need to do is microchip every non-American in the world, to keep them from messing with us.
If any other countries have a problem with this, well, they’re obviously un-American and supporting terrorists.
Oh yeah, and every American dog too, lest furriners steal them.
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### Author:  [@coffeecat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/coffeecat)
#### Post date: [April 29, 2010, 10:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microchip-the-illegal-aliens/537705/13 "2010-04-29T10:15:12Z")
I don’t suppose this is the same guy who said we should send a message over the internet to make every computer with pirated music blow up, is it? You know, just like on _Star Trek._ It has that sound to it.
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#):
>
> Oh yeah, and every American dog too, lest furriners steal them.
The cats, of course, will never surrender to tyranny. (Or even to polite requests.)
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### Author:  [@kidneyfailure](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kidneyfailure)
#### Post date: [April 29, 2010, 10:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microchip-the-illegal-aliens/537705/14 "2010-04-29T10:34:53Z")
This suggestion is fucking creepy, I don’t even want to joke about it. The new law was bad enough, but now we actually have people who are running for public office suggesting that we implant microchips in people? :::shudder:::
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### Author:  [@Simplicio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simplicio)
#### Post date: [April 29, 2010, 10:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microchip-the-illegal-aliens/537705/15 "2010-04-29T10:36:35Z")
> [@elucidator](#):
>
> Electronics isn’t my thing, but this can’t work, right?
Yea, you’re right. The chips they put in peoples pets don’t work like the guy in the article claims. They don’t transmit location or anything, they just let someone whose standing close by with a reader read off whatever information is on the chip.
So even in some weird distopian world where putting microchips in people against their will was remotely legal or feesable, this guys plan still wouldn’t do anything to address the problem he claims it will.
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### Author:  [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)
#### Post date: [April 29, 2010, 10:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microchip-the-illegal-aliens/537705/16 "2010-04-29T10:42:42Z")
[And we just laughed …](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=12365171&postcount=1419)
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### Author:  [@Equipoise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Equipoise)
#### Post date: [April 29, 2010, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microchip-the-illegal-aliens/537705/17 "2010-04-29T11:46:58Z")
We should let Pearson and Bertroche debate this in public. I have a feeling that more than a few Freeper/teabagger heads would explode.
Speaking of, I’m too short on time and brain cells to go find a thread and see what the Freepers think of this. If anyone has the fortitude, time and brain cells to spare and goes to find a thread, please post the link. I’m dying to hear their “thoughts.”
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### Author:  [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)
#### Post date: [April 29, 2010, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microchip-the-illegal-aliens/537705/18 "2010-04-29T12:19:21Z")
It wouldn’t work – they’d just dig out the microchips, put them in the holes in the bed springs, and use them to burn through the bars at the borders.
I saw Kirk and Spock do it once.
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### Author:  [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)
#### Post date: [April 29, 2010, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microchip-the-illegal-aliens/537705/19 "2010-04-29T12:25:37Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#):
>
> If you’ve been in the country for thirty years, does your chip turn black?
If you don’t chip them they’ll just come right back! Microchipping sure beats the immigration carousel we’re on right now!
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### Author:  [@Gustav](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gustav)
#### Post date: [April 29, 2010, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microchip-the-illegal-aliens/537705/20 "2010-04-29T13:21:57Z")
Wow, I just love the ironclad logic there. Personally I think we should catch them and lock them up in tiny cages for the rest of their lives. I can cage my hamster, why can’t I cage an illegal?
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