# Microchip the illegal aliens! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 29, 2010, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microchip-the-illegal-aliens/537705 "2010-04-29T02:54:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Dr.Rieux](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@Dr.Rieux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Rieux)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2010, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microchip-the-illegal-aliens/537705/41 "2010-04-29T20:35:10Z")
> [@elucidator](#): > > You mean cutting their nuts off, but are afraid to say it! Let’s call a spayed a spayed, OK? No, I’ll just remain neutered on this issue. ---
**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2010, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microchip-the-illegal-aliens/537705/42 "2010-04-29T20:35:15Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > All this talk of chips is giving me nacho cravings. Illegal aliens make the best nachos. Any talk about illegal immigration absolutely must take this fact into account. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2010, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microchip-the-illegal-aliens/537705/43 "2010-04-29T20:44:44Z")
Botswanian nachos are \*especially \*appealing. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2010, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microchip-the-illegal-aliens/537705/44 "2010-04-29T21:35:35Z")
Two kids are sitting on the curb. One of them says, “Boy, those chihuahuas sure must be smart dogs!” The other says, “Why’s that?” “Because my Dad says the Mexicans use them to make burritos!” ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2010, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microchip-the-illegal-aliens/537705/45 "2010-04-29T21:45:45Z")
> [@Ludovic](#): > > If you don’t chip them they’ll just come right back! Why is this making me think of _Fargo_? ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2010, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microchip-the-illegal-aliens/537705/46 "2010-04-29T23:04:07Z")
> [@Gustav](#): > > Wow, I just love the ironclad logic there. Personally I think we should catch them and lock them up in tiny cages for the rest of their lives. I can cage my hamster, why can’t I cage an illegal? That’s it – solve **Ed Zotti** ’s money problems in running the Dope with cheap Mexican labor. “¡Ay, Pablo! ¿Cuándo y durante cuanto tiempo era el hombre en la parte inferior del océano?” " ¿Qué?" “Una vez que, por veinte minutos, en 1960.” “Vo a matarte con un rayo de muerte del estilo de los años 1920s.” ---
**Author:** ![Mapache](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/58956e/32.png) [@Mapache](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mapache)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2010, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microchip-the-illegal-aliens/537705/47 "2010-04-29T23:19:31Z")
> [@Duke](#): > > Illegal aliens make the best nachos. Any talk about illegal immigration absolutely must take this fact into account. Doesn’t anyone remember DoggieWogs? ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2010, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microchip-the-illegal-aliens/537705/48 "2010-04-29T23:38:32Z")
> [@Polycarp](#): > > That’s it – solve **Ed Zotti** ’s money problems in running the Dope with cheap Mexican labor. > > “¡Ay, Pablo! ¿Cuándo y durante cuanto tiempo era el hombre en la parte inferior del océano?” With my poor spanish skills I misread this as something like “Ahora, o a un tiempo en el paso, eres un miembro del partido comunista?” ---
**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2010, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microchip-the-illegal-aliens/537705/49 "2010-04-29T23:43:26Z")
I don;t trust microchips, I prefer macrochips. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2010, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microchip-the-illegal-aliens/537705/50 "2010-04-29T23:46:55Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > Can I adopt an alien from the pound to do my laundry? No, you have to capture them in the wild, and train them. For some reason, they’re naturals with leaf blowers. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2010, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microchip-the-illegal-aliens/537705/51 "2010-04-30T00:26:25Z")
The only way this would work logically is if you chipped the legal residents and then forced people to scan to buy anything. And even then there’d be a black market. If you thought alcohol prohibition was bad, wait till you see food prohibition. And yes, it’s precisely this that fundies think will happen. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2010, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microchip-the-illegal-aliens/537705/52 "2010-04-30T00:36:51Z")
If you outlaw microchips then only microchips will be outlaws. Um… that didn’t come out right. ---
**Author:** ![Equipoise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/equipoise/32/151_2.png) [@Equipoise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Equipoise)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2010, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microchip-the-illegal-aliens/537705/53 "2010-04-30T00:56:27Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > Their site is keyword-searchable. Searching in “microchip,” I found no threads on the chip-the-illegals idea. But, see the following: > > … > > Enjoy. 🙂 I tried, really I did, but it’s hard to enjoy anything when you can feel the brain cells popping with each second spent there, cells that can never be regenerated. Thanks though! Actually, I will say one nice thing about that place. It does have a constant stream of news articles, and would be a great place to just read news if I could stand it. It’s all the brain-dead, right-wing, teabagger morons _commenting_ on each of the news articles that makes the place so stinky and hard to stomach. ---
**Author:** ![emcee2k](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7bcc69/32.png) [@emcee2k](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emcee2k)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2010, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microchip-the-illegal-aliens/537705/54 "2010-04-30T01:04:18Z")
Don’t Mexicans already have microchips? I thought that was how they control our kids while they’re in public. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2010, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microchip-the-illegal-aliens/537705/55 "2010-04-30T01:42:08Z")
Well played, sir. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2010, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microchip-the-illegal-aliens/537705/56 "2010-04-30T14:50:52Z")
> [@Dr.Rieux](#): > > No, I’ll just remain neutered on this issue. Now you’re just gelding the lily. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2010, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microchip-the-illegal-aliens/537705/57 "2010-04-30T15:06:19Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > No, you have to capture them in the wild, and train them. For some reason, they’re naturals with leaf blowers. I live in a apartment, so the building’s maintenance people take care of that. I just want someone to do my laundry in between the visits from my cleaning person. ---
**Author:** ![Mellivora\_capensis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@Mellivora\_capensis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mellivora_capensis)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2010, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microchip-the-illegal-aliens/537705/58 "2010-04-30T15:18:54Z")
> [@DanBlather](#): > > Why chip them? Use a long iron or wood. ::golf clap:: Bravo, squire, bravo. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2010, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microchip-the-illegal-aliens/537705/59 "2010-04-30T15:46:15Z")
> [@Ludovic](#): > > With my poor spanish skills I misread this as something like “Ahora, o a un tiempo en el paso, eres un miembro del partido comunista?” Mi aerodeslizador esta lleno de anguilas. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2010, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microchip-the-illegal-aliens/537705/60 "2010-04-30T15:53:07Z")
Too silly. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microchip-the-illegal-aliens/537705.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microchip-the-illegal-aliens/537705.md?page=4)