# Microsoft Volume Licensing - You have got to be kidding me **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 4, 2008, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microsoft-volume-licensing-you-have-got-to-be-kidding-me/443937 "2008-04-04T16:08:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Merijeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@Merijeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merijeek)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2008, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microsoft-volume-licensing-you-have-got-to-be-kidding-me/443937/1 "2008-04-04T16:08:14Z")
I mean, really. What the fuck. You have your supercool [https://eopen.microsoft.com](https://eopen.microsoft.com) where I can put in a few number and get access to your wondrous products. Except four times out of five I can’t log in due to a connection error - a connection error that is on Microsoft’s side, or so their own website tells me. Oh, and if you try to use Firefox you get the browser telling you, basically, “It’s trying to forward me in an infinite loop, so I’m going to stop loading the page”. But no, the shitty implementation isn’t why I’m really fucking frustrated right now. No, the problem now is that I have these handy-dandy license keys for Server 2003 R2…but I can’t download the software. What? Am I stupid? I get to the page, and click on the language I want to download. Let’s see, my choices are… Brazilian Chinese Simplified Chinese Traditional Chinese Traditional Simplified Czech Dutch Hungarian Italian Korean Polish Portuguese Russian Swedish Turkish What the everfucking hell is going on here? Oh, I know, I’ll call up my friendly MicroSoftDrone and see what she has to say. “Oh, that’s a known issue on the website. We don’t have an ETA as to when it will be fixed.” What the fuck? It’s not like you RAN OUT OF DISKS, IS IT? Fuck Microsoft. -Joe ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2008, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microsoft-volume-licensing-you-have-got-to-be-kidding-me/443937/2 "2008-04-04T16:30:21Z")
I can’t get on board with this rant, because what the hell are you talking about? -FrL- (Somebody ran out of discs or something?) ---
**Author:** ![Merijeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@Merijeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merijeek)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2008, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microsoft-volume-licensing-you-have-got-to-be-kidding-me/443937/3 "2008-04-04T16:41:25Z")
It’s software that’s already been paid for. You download it from their website. Notice any languages missing from the list I put up there? -Joe ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2008, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microsoft-volume-licensing-you-have-got-to-be-kidding-me/443937/4 "2008-04-04T16:49:25Z")
[QUOTE=Merijeek] Notice any languages missing from the list I put up there? [/QUOTE] Yeah. Aramaic. What the fuck, Microsoft? ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2008, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microsoft-volume-licensing-you-have-got-to-be-kidding-me/443937/5 "2008-04-04T17:01:24Z")
Not to worry, Jesus doesn’t need software. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2008, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microsoft-volume-licensing-you-have-got-to-be-kidding-me/443937/6 "2008-04-04T17:35:16Z")
And where’s the Icelandic? ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2008, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microsoft-volume-licensing-you-have-got-to-be-kidding-me/443937/7 "2008-04-04T17:52:33Z")
What immediately jumps out at me is that there is no language called “Brazilian.” Maybe you could use that, since it seems to be extra? ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2008, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microsoft-volume-licensing-you-have-got-to-be-kidding-me/443937/8 "2008-04-04T17:55:49Z")
Ah, I stand corrected. They must mean the [_língua brasílica_](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Old_Tupi_language). ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mighty\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Girl)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2008, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microsoft-volume-licensing-you-have-got-to-be-kidding-me/443937/9 "2008-04-04T18:15:56Z")
No Spanish? Well, that does it for Florida, New Mexico, California, Texas, New York, half of New Jersey and Massachusetts, and a few countries down below. ---
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2008, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microsoft-volume-licensing-you-have-got-to-be-kidding-me/443937/10 "2008-04-04T21:14:00Z")
“Chinese Traditional Simplified”? ---
**Author:** ![neutron\_star](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/51bf81/32.png) [@neutron\_star](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neutron_star)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2008, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microsoft-volume-licensing-you-have-got-to-be-kidding-me/443937/11 "2008-04-04T21:22:43Z")
“Sorry about that Stop Payment I put on the check I sent you for your software, Microsoft. It’s a Known Issue with my bank account. I’m afraid I don’t have an ETA as to when it will be fixed, but I have bankers working around the clock on it.” ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2008, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microsoft-volume-licensing-you-have-got-to-be-kidding-me/443937/12 "2008-04-04T21:24:14Z")
[QUOTE=AudreyK] “Chinese Traditional Simplified”? [/QUOTE] I prefer Chinese Neoveau Complicated. So close Microsoft! ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2008, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microsoft-volume-licensing-you-have-got-to-be-kidding-me/443937/13 "2008-04-04T21:54:38Z")
Yeah, fuck the whole company!!! ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2008, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microsoft-volume-licensing-you-have-got-to-be-kidding-me/443937/14 "2008-04-04T21:56:44Z")
[QUOTE=neutron star] “Sorry about that Stop Payment I put on the check I sent you for your software, Microsoft. It’s a Known Issue with my bank account. I’m afraid I don’t have an ETA as to when it will be fixed, but I have bankers working around the clock on it.” [/QUOTE] Hilarious. ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2008, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microsoft-volume-licensing-you-have-got-to-be-kidding-me/443937/15 "2008-04-04T21:58:47Z")
[QUOTE=Vinyl Turnip] Ah, I stand corrected. They must mean the [_língua brasílica_](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Old_Tupi_language). [/QUOTE] Publishing items in an extinct language is the idea of who? ---
**Author:** ![buttonjockey308](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@buttonjockey308](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buttonjockey308)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2008, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microsoft-volume-licensing-you-have-got-to-be-kidding-me/443937/16 "2008-04-04T22:05:21Z")
[QUOTE=Morbo] Yeah, fuck the whole company!!! [/QUOTE] If only I had that kind of time. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2008, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microsoft-volume-licensing-you-have-got-to-be-kidding-me/443937/17 "2008-04-04T22:41:07Z")
And where’s the Klingon? ---
**Author:** ![GIGObuster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gigobuster/32/421_2.png) [@GIGObuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GIGObuster)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2008, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microsoft-volume-licensing-you-have-got-to-be-kidding-me/443937/18 "2008-04-05T03:22:35Z")
[QUOTE=elucidator] Not to worry, Jesus doesn’t need software. [/QUOTE] Then how will he save? d&r ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2008, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/microsoft-volume-licensing-you-have-got-to-be-kidding-me/443937/19 "2008-04-05T03:58:39Z")
[QUOTE=GIGObuster] Then how will he save? d&r [/QUOTE] In the Chase Manhattan Bank of course