# Middle age and becoming "invisible" **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 17, 2013, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/middle-age-and-becoming-invisible/653176 "2013-03-17T15:45:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![F.U.Shakespeare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aca169/32.png) [@F.U.Shakespeare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/F.U.Shakespeare)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2013, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/middle-age-and-becoming-invisible/653176/1 "2013-03-17T15:45:13Z")
In one of his ‘Dilbert’ books, Scott Adams asserted that when out in public, a middle-aged white male of average height or below is basically invisible, especially to younger people. (I believe he went on to describe how this helped him by allowing him to observe people for his writing). I’m 5’7", but I was younger than middle age when I read this, and I didn’t give it much thought. But I’m 53 now, and I’m beginning to wonder if there’s something to it. By invisible, I don’t mean, “Pretty girls don’t smile at me”. I mean, _young people sometimes don’t notice me when I’m standing right in front of them._ A typical example: I once walked into a Ruby Tuesday’s restaurant lobby for lunch. The place is not especially busy. The seating hostess is standing at a podium handling the menus. I assume she will greet me when she finishes what she’s doing momentarily. I wait maybe 10 seconds. Then, a middle-age woman accompanied by a girl of around 12 walk in and stand next to me in the lobby. The hostess greets her, and asks, “Two?” (IOW, Are there two people in your party?) The woman answers by turning her glance hesitantly over toward me, as if to say, “Wasn’t he here first?” The hostess realizes her error, and apologizes to me. She asks me to follow her to my table. On the way there, she apologizes again, awkwardly trying to explain her mistake. Please note: she was not a clueless, insensitive person. She seemed sincerely embarrassed and self-critical. Has anyone else noticed this? A colleague who is about twenty years older than me (and around the same height) says he has long encountered it. Any idea why it happens? I have wracked my brain trying to remember if I was less than cognizant of middle-age and older people when I was a kid. My parents were much older than usual (mom and dad were 42 and 66 when I was born, respectively), so I may have thought of older people differently than most kids do. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2013, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/middle-age-and-becoming-invisible/653176/2 "2013-03-17T16:37:05Z")
Is someone posting something here? ---
**Author:** ![ducati](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/cc9497/32.png) [@ducati](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ducati)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2013, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/middle-age-and-becoming-invisible/653176/3 "2013-03-17T16:39:47Z")
I thought I heard something, but I don’t see anything… ---
**Author:** ![Heracles](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heracles/32/487_2.png) [@Heracles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heracles)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2013, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/middle-age-and-becoming-invisible/653176/4 "2013-03-17T18:01:48Z")
Yes, [I can see you](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/To_See_the_Invisible_Man) ! I’m almost 45, graying, not very tall, not very athletic, and I haven’t become invisible yet. However, I do plead guilty to not remembering people I meet on the street, unless they’re attractive or very ugly. ---
**Author:** ![F.U.Shakespeare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aca169/32.png) [@F.U.Shakespeare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/F.U.Shakespeare)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2013, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/middle-age-and-becoming-invisible/653176/5 "2013-03-17T18:03:26Z")
[Can’t believe I didn’t include this (starting at 2:18)](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=23C9xMRCOPY) ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2013, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/middle-age-and-becoming-invisible/653176/6 "2013-03-17T18:23:09Z")
I’m 6’1" and invisible. But it is not at-will. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2013, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/middle-age-and-becoming-invisible/653176/7 "2013-03-17T18:36:10Z")
I can totally agree with the OP. ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2013, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/middle-age-and-becoming-invisible/653176/8 "2013-03-17T18:42:22Z")
Doonesbury nailed this last summer: [“When did that happen?”](http://www.gocomics.com/doonesbury/2011/07/24) I distinctly remember the moment when the two devastating young things behind the counter unblushingly talked about the hot guy across the store, right in front of 38yo cellophane me. Man, that stung. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2013, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/middle-age-and-becoming-invisible/653176/9 "2013-03-17T18:52:22Z")
Hawaiian shirts, dude. Really loud Hawaiian shirts. I am invisible to **no one**. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2013, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/middle-age-and-becoming-invisible/653176/10 "2013-03-17T19:42:06Z")
My theme song. [Mr. Cellophane](http://youtu.be/tBFVzQ_sXxU) ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2013, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/middle-age-and-becoming-invisible/653176/11 "2013-03-17T20:48:15Z")
Actually, it happened to me when Sophia was born. “Where’s the baby? Oh… it’s just you.” Yeah, just me. :rolleyes: (In her defense, the baby was totally precious. I had no hope of competing.) ---
**Author:** ![tellyworth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/977dab/32.png) [@tellyworth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tellyworth)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2013, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/middle-age-and-becoming-invisible/653176/12 "2013-03-17T21:10:53Z")
Some days automatic doors won’t open for me, and I begin to wonder if I’m there at all. ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2013, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/middle-age-and-becoming-invisible/653176/13 "2013-03-17T22:03:12Z")
It’s true. I used to work in the marketing department at a hospital. One time all of my colleagues were out, and I was the only one in our suite of offices. One of the doctors came in, peeked in several of the empty offices, then stood in my door, looked right at me and said, “Oh. Nobody’s here.” ---
**Author:** ![deltasigma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e5b9ba/32.png) [@deltasigma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/deltasigma)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2013, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/middle-age-and-becoming-invisible/653176/14 "2013-03-17T22:21:35Z")
‘I am not the geezer you are looking for’ [Jedi hand wave] ‘What’s a geezer’ [thought bubble] Ha! It works!!! ---
**Author:** ![cougar58](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f07891/32.png) [@cougar58](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cougar58)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2013, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/middle-age-and-becoming-invisible/653176/15 "2013-03-17T22:36:47Z")
we know what you’re really up to. we can see right thru you ---
**Author:** ![Aquadementia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aquadementia/32/555_2.png) [@Aquadementia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aquadementia)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2013, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/middle-age-and-becoming-invisible/653176/16 "2013-03-17T23:17:02Z")
There’s really no reason for anyone to pay attention to middle aged men. You can’t sell them on anything because they’re too set in their ways. There’s no point in waiting on them since they know what they want and are used to getting things for themselves. They just add up their stuff and leave the correct change down to the penny, because they always have a change purse. It’s typical for a hardware store to barely have a customer for an entire Saturday afternoon, but when they go to empty out the register, lo and behold! it’s stuffed to overflowing. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2013, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/middle-age-and-becoming-invisible/653176/17 "2013-03-17T23:26:01Z")
It’s even worse if you’re looking for a date. ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2013, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/middle-age-and-becoming-invisible/653176/18 "2013-03-17T23:26:04Z")
It just means you’ve unlocked your inner ninja. ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2013, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/middle-age-and-becoming-invisible/653176/19 "2013-03-18T00:22:36Z")
> [@Aquadementia](#): > > There’s really no reason for anyone to pay attention to middle aged men. > > You can’t sell them on anything because they’re too set in their ways. There’s no point in waiting on them since they know what they want and are used to getting things for themselves. They just add up their stuff and leave the correct change down to the penny, because they always have a change purse. It’s typical for a hardware store to barely have a customer for an entire Saturday afternoon, but when they go to empty out the register, lo and behold! it’s stuffed to overflowing. \ Fuck you. I do NOT carry a change purse. \ ---
**Author:** ![deltasigma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e5b9ba/32.png) [@deltasigma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/deltasigma)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2013, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/middle-age-and-becoming-invisible/653176/20 "2013-03-18T00:31:38Z")
> [@NitroPress](#): > > \ > Fuck you. I do NOT carry a change purse. > \ Really. That was just insulting. We can pull exact change out of our pockets just by touch while simultaneously distinguishing between the min. half pound of nuts, bolts, washers, grommets, keys and other miscellaneous hardware we also happen to carry around. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/middle-age-and-becoming-invisible/653176.md?page=2)