# Middle School Teacher Provides ‘Full-Contact’ Lap Dance In Front Of Class For Birthday Boy **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 26, 2014, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/middle-school-teacher-provides-full-contact-lap-dance-in-front-of-class-for-birthday-boy/687010 "2014-04-26T01:07:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2014, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/middle-school-teacher-provides-full-contact-lap-dance-in-front-of-class-for-birthday-boy/687010/1 "2014-04-26T01:07:23Z")
[The mind boggles.](http://dailycaller.com/2014/04/25/middle-school-teacher-provides-full-contact-lap-dance-in-front-of-class-for-birthday-boy/) Apparently there’s video :rolleyes: Best quote: > [@](#): > > It’s not clear if the kid enjoyed the lap dance. However, he admitted that he did slap Smith’s ass a couple times. ---
**Author:** ![Lancia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lancia/32/17174_2.png) [@Lancia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lancia)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2014, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/middle-school-teacher-provides-full-contact-lap-dance-in-front-of-class-for-birthday-boy/687010/2 "2014-04-26T01:13:48Z")
Why couldn’t have I had a teacher like that? All I got for my birthday was an extra package of pencils ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2014, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/middle-school-teacher-provides-full-contact-lap-dance-in-front-of-class-for-birthday-boy/687010/3 "2014-04-26T02:36:32Z")
I’m going to hold off on expressing an opinion about this until I see it reported in a non-tabloid source. ---
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2014, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/middle-school-teacher-provides-full-contact-lap-dance-in-front-of-class-for-birthday-boy/687010/4 "2014-04-26T02:43:55Z")
> [@Smapti](#): > > I’m going to hold off on expressing an opinion about this until I see it reported in a non-tabloid source. [How about the local news?](http://www.khou.com/news/local/Aldine-ISD-Police--Teacher-charged-with-improper-relationship-with-student-256678251.html) ---
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2014, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/middle-school-teacher-provides-full-contact-lap-dance-in-front-of-class-for-birthday-boy/687010/5 "2014-04-26T02:48:16Z")
KHOU channel 11 for CBS in Houston reported it originally. [http://www.khou.com/news/local/Aldine-ISD-Police--Teacher-charged-with-improper-relationship-with-student-256678251.html](http://www.khou.com/news/local/Aldine-ISD-Police--Teacher-charged-with-improper-relationship-with-student-256678251.html) ninja’d before I could finish looking up KHOU’s network affiliation. ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2014, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/middle-school-teacher-provides-full-contact-lap-dance-in-front-of-class-for-birthday-boy/687010/6 "2014-04-26T02:53:08Z")
> [@zoid](#): > > [How about the local news?](http://www.khou.com/news/local/Aldine-ISD-Police--Teacher-charged-with-improper-relationship-with-student-256678251.html) That’ll do it. ---
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2014, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/middle-school-teacher-provides-full-contact-lap-dance-in-front-of-class-for-birthday-boy/687010/7 "2014-04-26T02:54:30Z")
Promising a lapdance is one guaranteed way to make sure the teen does his homework. Hell, he might even Ace a test for that. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2014, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/middle-school-teacher-provides-full-contact-lap-dance-in-front-of-class-for-birthday-boy/687010/8 "2014-04-26T04:13:16Z")
> [@zoid](#): > > Best quote: I actually liked the previous paragraph: > [@](#): > > Once the kid sat down, the fortysomething teacher gave him what was perhaps his first full-contact lap dance. According to a police report, Smith did the thing where she turned around and swiveled her butt on the middle school student. Now that’s first-class news reportage. ---
**Author:** ![chicagowhitesox1173](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/46a35a/32.png) [@chicagowhitesox1173](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chicagowhitesox1173)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2014, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/middle-school-teacher-provides-full-contact-lap-dance-in-front-of-class-for-birthday-boy/687010/9 "2014-04-26T04:34:36Z")
As bad as this sounds, I bet she was a good teacher. She should have known better though. The kid who got the lap dance will probably be a millionare after this too. ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2014, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/middle-school-teacher-provides-full-contact-lap-dance-in-front-of-class-for-birthday-boy/687010/10 "2014-04-26T05:08:35Z")
Bet she was a good teacher? WTF? Giving a lapdance to a student automatically makes you one of the worst teachers ever. A defining/qualifying trait of a good teacher is keeping all of your students safe to the best of your ability, including from sexual harassment and embarrassment. This woman was an abject failure. -drewtwo99, former teacher ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2014, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/middle-school-teacher-provides-full-contact-lap-dance-in-front-of-class-for-birthday-boy/687010/11 "2014-04-26T06:19:12Z")
> [@drewtwo99](#): > > Giving a lapdance to a student automatically makes you one of the worst teachers ever. No, it doesn’t. The most _stupid_ teacher ever, perhaps. But not the worst. And I really, really want to know where all these hot MILF teachers were while I was growing up – are they simply more common these days? ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2014, 10:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/middle-school-teacher-provides-full-contact-lap-dance-in-front-of-class-for-birthday-boy/687010/12 "2014-04-26T10:21:50Z")
Meh. Sounds like she kept her clothes on. The article didn’t say otherwise, and I’m sure it would have. That isn’t how lap dances are done. ---
**Author:** ![Merneith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/57b2e6/32.png) [@Merneith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merneith)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2014, 10:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/middle-school-teacher-provides-full-contact-lap-dance-in-front-of-class-for-birthday-boy/687010/13 "2014-04-26T10:35:47Z")
> [@buddha\_david](#): > > No, it doesn’t. The most _stupid_ teacher ever, perhaps. But not the worst. > > And I really, really want to know where all these hot MILF teachers were while I was growing up – are they simply more common these days? It doesn’t get much worse than sexually assaulting a pre-teen student in the middle of class. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2014, 10:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/middle-school-teacher-provides-full-contact-lap-dance-in-front-of-class-for-birthday-boy/687010/14 "2014-04-26T10:51:56Z")
> [@drewtwo99](#): > > Bet she was a good teacher? WTF? Giving a lapdance to a student automatically makes you one of the worst teachers ever. > > A defining/qualifying trait of a good teacher is keeping all of your students safe to the best of your ability, including from sexual harassment and embarrassment. This woman was an abject failure. > > -drewtwo99, **former teacher** I see you’ve learned from past mistakes then. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2014, 11:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/middle-school-teacher-provides-full-contact-lap-dance-in-front-of-class-for-birthday-boy/687010/15 "2014-04-26T11:13:13Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > Meh. Sounds like she kept her clothes on. The article didn’t say otherwise, and I’m sure it would have. That isn’t how lap dances are done. Right?! Kid should have at least got some tit! It’s his birthday! ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2014, 11:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/middle-school-teacher-provides-full-contact-lap-dance-in-front-of-class-for-birthday-boy/687010/16 "2014-04-26T11:17:32Z")
I don’t think any of my teachers from those years would have done this. Just as well. Their nun’s habits would’ve snagged on something. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2014, 11:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/middle-school-teacher-provides-full-contact-lap-dance-in-front-of-class-for-birthday-boy/687010/17 "2014-04-26T11:22:25Z")
OBE? ---
**Author:** ![Alley\_Dweller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alley_dweller/32/430_2.png) [@Alley\_Dweller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alley_Dweller)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2014, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/middle-school-teacher-provides-full-contact-lap-dance-in-front-of-class-for-birthday-boy/687010/18 "2014-04-26T11:46:04Z")
At my grade school is was customary for the birthday boy or girl to bring in cookies for the whole class and to stand in front as the class sang Happy Birthday to them. Our third grade teacher announced that if you wanted to celebrate your birthday you had to have a birthday spanking. She explained that this was a normal custom that everyone did. None of us had heard of this custom either at school or at home. (Apparently it is actually [a thing](http://www.wikihow.com/Give-a-Birthday-Spanking) in some places.) The birthday child had to bend over and have their rear whacked with a ping pong paddle once for each year plus “one to grow on.” Most children were desperate enough to agree to it. Personally, I wasn’t going to volunteer for something like that. I’m sure that if a teacher did something like that today, the SWAT team would storm the classroom and pull the teacher away in handcuffs with TV news crews filming outside. Then a hazmat team would come and dispose of the cookies and the children would be taken to the hospital as a precautionary measure in case the cookies contained any peanuts, gluten, HFCS, or inorganic GMO ingredients. And then the teacher would be suspended with pay pending an investigation of the alleged paddling. ---
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2014, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/middle-school-teacher-provides-full-contact-lap-dance-in-front-of-class-for-birthday-boy/687010/19 "2014-04-26T12:35:35Z")
Theres nothing reported that she undressed or touched the kid’ genitals. What she did was stupid and will cost her job. But based on whats been reported I don’t see a criminal case. Now if the clothes came off or she touched the kid’s dick then maybe a criminal case could be made. She has ruined her career. I wonder if they can revoke her state teaching license? She doesn’t need to be around kids anymore. > [@Merneith](#): > > It doesn’t get much worse than sexually assaulting a pre-teen student in the middle of class. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2014, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/middle-school-teacher-provides-full-contact-lap-dance-in-front-of-class-for-birthday-boy/687010/20 "2014-04-26T12:50:42Z")
> [@aceplace57](#): > > Theres nothing reported that she undressed or touched the kid’ genitals. No mention of her receiving a tip, either. Coincidence? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/middle-school-teacher-provides-full-contact-lap-dance-in-front-of-class-for-birthday-boy/687010.md?page=2)