# Mike Johnson. Why? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 12, 2026, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mike-johnson-why/1027620 "2026-02-12T15:46:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2026, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mike-johnson-why/1027620/21 "2026-02-12T22:29:26Z")
Then there’s the whole deal with the 14-year old boy Johnson “adopted” when he was 25. ---
**Author:** ![Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/q.q.switcheroo/32/5713_2.png) [@Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.Q.Switcheroo)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2026, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mike-johnson-why/1027620/22 "2026-02-12T22:44:03Z")
> [@Roderick\_Femm](#): > > He doesn’t look smart …even while wearing glasses. ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2026, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mike-johnson-why/1027620/23 "2026-02-17T01:18:25Z")
I forgot about that. ---
**Author:** ![Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/son_of_a_rich/32/5439_2.png) [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Son_of_a_Rich)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2026, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mike-johnson-why/1027620/24 "2026-02-17T01:24:18Z")
Didn’t Gaetz and Santos both have some weird adoption stories? ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2026, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mike-johnson-why/1027620/25 "2026-02-17T01:26:30Z")
Doesn’t matter who is Speaker as long as the GOP has the majority. The only qualification is to be able to pick up the phone and say “Yes, mein Fuhrer, what are my orders for today?” ---
**Author:** ![Fretful\_Porpentine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fretful_porpentine/32/2873_2.png) [@Fretful\_Porpentine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fretful_Porpentine)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2026, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mike-johnson-why/1027620/26 "2026-02-17T01:54:18Z")
Being Speaker of the House is a really weird, hard, and thankless job under the best of circumstances. There are people who are genuinely brilliant at it (like Nancy Pelosi) and they _still_ get to be the most reviled politicians in America during their tenure, with basically zero chance of ever being elected to a higher office than the House. And everyone in Congress knows this, but someone has to do the job anyway. Johnson is pretty clearly a True Believer in the Republican agenda (if not necessarily in Trump the human being), and I expect he sees himself as taking one for the team. There’s almost always someone who will step up in that situation, just like there’s almost always someone who will step up to chair an academic department (another unglamourous job with a comparable level of lightning-rod potential). Nearly always, their colleagues are grateful enough to let them hang on indefinitely. ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2026, 7:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mike-johnson-why/1027620/27 "2026-02-17T07:43:06Z")
> [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](#): > > Didn’t Gaetz and Santos both have some weird adoption stories? Yep. > **[After heated exchange on race, Florida Rep. Matt Gaetz reveals Cuban "son"](https://www.cbsnews.com/news/matt-gaetz-cuban-son-nestor-galban-tweet-cedric-richmond/)** > > "We share no blood but he is my life. He came from Cuba (legally, of course) six years ago and lives with me in Florida," GOP Rep. Matt Gaetz tweeted Thursday. > **[George Santos Has Meltdown While Holding Mystery Baby](https://nymag.com/intelligencer/2023/10/george-santos-baby.html)** > > Please don’t explain what’s going on here. I don’t want to know. I have absolutely no solid evidence of this, but I strongly suspect that Mike Johnson is gay and his “adoption” of that boy was a cover for an illicit affair. The whole deal with the adoption, and the porn app with his son, and the “covenant marriage” he and his wife are engaged in, just screams to me that he only got married and had kids out of social/religious obligation and needs strong behavioral controls to keep him in check, which also makes for prime kompromat material for the Trumps and Millers and Bannons of the world. ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2026, 8:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mike-johnson-why/1027620/28 "2026-02-17T08:10:20Z")
This shit just writes itself, doesn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2026, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mike-johnson-why/1027620/29 "2026-02-17T14:38:17Z")
Just like in a sewage pond, the ~~cream~~ scum always rises to the top. ---
**Author:** ![Horatius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horatius/32/3572_2.png) [@Horatius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horatius)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2026, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mike-johnson-why/1027620/30 "2026-02-17T16:05:12Z")
> [@Dinsdale](#): > > I never really understood why HE was chosen He wasn’t really “chosen” though. All the more competent possibilities for this job called “Not It!” first, when they saw what a shit-show the last Speaker’s term was. They understood that they’d never get anything useful done in the face of MAGA extremists on one side, and the Democrats on the other. He was just the right level of incompetent to be marginally acceptable to the MAGA masses, and just stupid enough to take the job when the non-MAGA Republicans offered it to him. Now he’s stuck with it. ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2026, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mike-johnson-why/1027620/31 "2026-02-17T16:08:09Z")
> [@Smapti](#): > > I have absolutely no solid evidence of this, but I strongly suspect that Mike Johnson is gay and his “adoption” of that boy was a cover for an illicit affair. I wouldn’t use the word “affair” when one of the participants is 14, and the other is more than a decade older. There are much less-forgiving terms that I think are more applicable to that situation. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2026, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mike-johnson-why/1027620/32 "2026-02-17T16:18:45Z")
Yeah. Speaker Mike bought himself an underage rape-slave. ---
**Author:** ![irae](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f0a364/32.png) [@irae](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/irae)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2026, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mike-johnson-why/1027620/33 "2026-02-17T17:58:30Z")
So the singer in the cover band I just left is a dead ringer for Mike Johnson, down to the specs. Makes for a rather jarring rendition of Pink Pony Club. ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2026, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mike-johnson-why/1027620/34 "2026-02-17T18:05:44Z")
Why am I reacting like it were their duty to put on a dark suit and red tie and make a video? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mike-johnson-why/1027620.md?page=1)