# Mike Tyson vs Neanderthal Man \[Note: Very old thread\] **URL:** \ **Category:** The Game Room\ **Created:** [July 31, 1999, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mike-tyson-vs-neanderthal-man-note-very-old-thread/2304 "1999-07-31T05:28:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 1999, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mike-tyson-vs-neanderthal-man-note-very-old-thread/2304/1 "1999-07-31T05:28:00Z")
…or just early man. If you put Mike and NM in the ring, who would be the champ? I think it was some x-file episode that said that early man’s intensified survival instincts would make him more formidable. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 1999, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mike-tyson-vs-neanderthal-man-note-very-old-thread/2304/2 "1999-07-31T05:40:00Z")
MT’s not that far removed from NT. He bit that guys freakin _ear_. Peace, mangeorge ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 1999, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mike-tyson-vs-neanderthal-man-note-very-old-thread/2304/3 "1999-07-31T06:19:00Z")
yeah, but early man would have swallowed. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 1999, 6:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mike-tyson-vs-neanderthal-man-note-very-old-thread/2304/4 "1999-07-31T06:29:00Z")
Neanderthal Man might have swallowed if he was hungry. Early man would have passed it around the cave as he reinacted the fight. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 1999, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mike-tyson-vs-neanderthal-man-note-very-old-thread/2304/5 "1999-07-31T13:51:00Z")
- - - This was asked some time ago, maybe on AOL. Mike would whup ass, because due to medicine and nutrition we are (on average) stronger and larger than any earlier “humans” that existed. In the game of evolutionary roulette, monkeys got muscles and we got brains. It’s true that an average adult gorilla can casually lift weight that would give Olympic athletes hernias, but so far, brains have turned out to be the better deal. - MC ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 1999, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mike-tyson-vs-neanderthal-man-note-very-old-thread/2304/6 "1999-07-31T14:08:00Z")
I think an even better question could be “Which would stay out of jail the longest?” ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 1999, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mike-tyson-vs-neanderthal-man-note-very-old-thread/2304/7 "1999-07-31T14:32:00Z")
Sounds reasonable to me, MC. Anyhoo, I feel kind of let down by the x-Files. I wonder if they were talking about fight-or-flee? The writers could have been postulating that NM would be fighting for his life…in a state of terror…that might turn the tables. As for Mike, he might be fighting for the mortage on the mansion. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 1999, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mike-tyson-vs-neanderthal-man-note-very-old-thread/2304/8 "1999-07-31T16:25:00Z")
If ya ask me, Alley Oop would knock Tyson butt over teakettle, modern nutrition or no. * * * Uke ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 1999, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mike-tyson-vs-neanderthal-man-note-very-old-thread/2304/9 "1999-07-31T16:29:00Z")
A couple of weeks ago, I met a scientific advisor for The X-Files. Chris Carter tries to base his stories on actual scientific theory and methods. But by the time the final draft is written a lot of that gets lost, ignored or is just plain wrong. Scully doing a Southern blot in five hours… feh. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 1999, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mike-tyson-vs-neanderthal-man-note-very-old-thread/2304/10 "1999-08-01T13:35:00Z")
I heard somewhere (ok, Art Bell) that a chimp could whup Mike Tysons ass, is this true? * * * ¾È ³ç, ÁÖ µ¿ ÀÏ ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 1999, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mike-tyson-vs-neanderthal-man-note-very-old-thread/2304/11 "1999-08-01T13:41:00Z")
This was, in a sense, discussed before where a chimp can toss around an amazing bit of weight, citing things such as a 700lb single hand pull. Of course, it’s not like the chimp would be boxing, but I’d pay to see one jump on Mike’s chest and bite him in the face. Judging from the strength of primates, I’m guessing I could maybe take on a… umm… spider monkey. Yeah, that’d impress the ladies. * * * “I guess it is possible for one person to make a difference, although most of the time they probably shouldn’t.” ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 1999, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mike-tyson-vs-neanderthal-man-note-very-old-thread/2304/12 "1999-08-01T15:59:00Z")
Cecil’s take on 90 lb. chimp vs. man: [http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a1\_001b.html](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a1_001b.html) ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 1999, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mike-tyson-vs-neanderthal-man-note-very-old-thread/2304/13 "1999-08-02T05:24:00Z")
When you said Mike would whup butt because of his brain… Did you think that through? ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 1999, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mike-tyson-vs-neanderthal-man-note-very-old-thread/2304/14 "1999-08-04T05:33:00Z")
I’ve hear, or read that Neanderthal was far stronger than us. But, Mike, a trained boxer, could be the victor. Try- ing to to research this I stumbled into the Creationist web-site! SHEEECH(sp?)!! * * * Zymurgist ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 1999, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mike-tyson-vs-neanderthal-man-note-very-old-thread/2304/15 "1999-08-03T18:58:00Z")
Mike vs. Neandertal (yes, I spelled that right according to my Nat’l Geographic)- aren’t they the same person/thing. That heavy brow, that amazing lack of inteligence, the gutteral communication. Maybe the archeologists need to get on him and do some DNA testing! * * * And can it be that in a world so full and busy, the loss of one weak creature makes a void in any heart, so wide and deep that nothing but the width and depth of vast eternity can fill it up! -Charles Dickens “Dombey and Son” ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 1999, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mike-tyson-vs-neanderthal-man-note-very-old-thread/2304/16 "1999-08-03T19:45:00Z")
My guess would be the Early Man and/or ape. But they couldn’t violate their parole and go to nudie bars in DC and have the county parole office shrug it off. (Of course, Montgomery Co., MD _wants_ Iron Mike earning income so they can get their share in income tax.) ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 1999, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mike-tyson-vs-neanderthal-man-note-very-old-thread/2304/17 "1999-08-04T02:33:00Z")
Regarding the relative strength of humans VS. other primates. Why the heck are we the weaklings of the primate family? My theory is that most of the time we’re too inhibited to use our maximum possible strength. Anyone who’s seen a two-year old child move a sofa to get at a dust covered lollypop in back would know what I mean. ---
**Author:** ![AK84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85e7bf/32.png) [@AK84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AK84)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2020, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mike-tyson-vs-neanderthal-man-note-very-old-thread/2304/18 "2020-11-29T06:36:16Z")
It’s old as fuck this thread but it’s worth asking 1. Suely neandrathals were much stronger the us. But a lot of boxing is being able to take the hits, were they as resiliant as we are? Don’t see why not if not more. 2. Could a neandrathal be taught how to follow the rules of boxing rather than it becoming a brawl within 5 seconds? Did they have the intelligence for it? (Reading the replies in this thread Mike Tyson has really has managed to repair his public reputation in the last 21 years 😳) ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2020, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mike-tyson-vs-neanderthal-man-note-very-old-thread/2304/19 "2020-11-29T14:13:55Z")
Moved to the Game Room, a forum which didn’t exist in 1999, when this thread was started. The usernames have been lost from most posts made that long ago. Colibri General Questions Moderator ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2020, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mike-tyson-vs-neanderthal-man-note-very-old-thread/2304/20 "2020-11-29T14:20:42Z")
> [@AK84](#): > > 1. Suely neandrathals were much stronger the us. But a lot of boxing is being able to take the hits, were they as resiliant as we are? Don’t see why not if not more. Neanderthals were heavily built; they should have been able to take hits better than the average sapiens. And they would not have had glass chins, because they hardly had chins at all. > [@](#): > > 1. Could a neandrathal be taught how to follow the rules of boxing rather than it becoming a brawl within 5 seconds? Did they have the intelligence for it? Neanderthals had brains that were larger on average than sapiens, but organized somewhat differently. They were almost certainly smart enough to learn the rules of boxing. However, it’s been speculated that they might have had less foresight than sapiens, and less able to follow strategy through a fight. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mike-tyson-vs-neanderthal-man-note-very-old-thread/2304.md?page=2)